Bria Rouse
English 101

When I was 16 years old my mother and I started having certain concerns that something might be wrong since I hadn't started my period. She had done so many things to prepare my body and mind for a moment that would evidently never happened. She taught me all the techniques and precautions for making sure I would never be in the dark about the changes my body would normally go through when puberty hit. I had begun to develop the breast and curves of a growing young women, so had all of my peers but they had also began their cycle. I felt left out when I’d see them going to the restroom during school hours with their little toiletry pouches. After some time had passed my mother made an appointment with my adolescence pediatrician. The doctor tried to examine me and I found it unbearably painful even with the smallest of tools. My doctor then decided that I should have an ultra sound. I had the abdominal and the vaginal screening they finally found what they called a "floating uterus." She sat me down and told me that she had only seen one other case that reminded her of mine in medical school and that she thought it could possibly be Vaginal Agenesis. For conformation the pediatrician sent me to a specialist. The Dr. there confirmed what the pediatrician had discovered after scheduling a MRI, she said “Well, here is the deal you will never be able to have kids but you can adopt or have a surrogate mother by the way I admire the fact that u chose to keep your virginity but at this point in order to have sexual intercourse u have the choice of dilators or surgery”. I choose the easy way out and decided I needed to wear a vaginal dilator. I wore the piece, but it was so uncomfortable, I stopped it after just a month.

I was of course heartbroken. The only thing I ever wanted in my life was to have a marriage and have babies. As you can imagine I was just overwhelmed and in shock, after it sank in for a little while I began to cry. One part of me wanted to suck it up and deal with the consciences, and the other part was anger. First of all at God and second of all at whoever I came in contact with. I sat my boyfriend at the time down and explained to him that I was born without a uterus and unfortunately we wouldn’t naturally be able to have the future that we had planned, he sat there for hours in utter shock , I think I even saw a small tear , but he was very supportive. That made me feel much better about myself and life started looking a little happier in my eyes. Throughout this entire experience I never felt my femininity was in doubt, or that I was part male, or that I wouldn’t have a normal sex life. After months of thinking I came to the conclusion that I’m just someone who was born without a vaginal opening, a uterus, but lucky enough to never get her period.