WEEK 1:
Clearly these definitions reflect an organizational behavioral perspective, and lead us to analyze conflict from a number of perspectives with communication and the perceptual process being important to much of our discussion. Our individual definition of conflict is shaped by our values, beliefs, attitudes, and experiences. Some of us view conflict as a positive gateway to change while others view conflict as a negative occurrence to be avoided at all costs. Whether your view of conflict is positive, negative, or a combination, it is important to recognize that we each have a definition of conflict, to understand our own definition and views of conflict, and to respect that our definition may be different than those with whom we are in conflict, or those with whom we are managing conflict.
• Many factors influence conflict and our actions in conflict. One of those factors is climate and another factor is culture.
• Culture is as diverse as the individuals we shall meet in our classes, workplaces, and personal lives. It is important that we recognize our similarities and differences in order for effective conflict management to take place.
• Conflicts can spiral as well. If a conflict is not addressed or is addressed in a negative fashion, the conflict can spiral. If not managed properly, the conflict could spiral out of control. Conflict has a consequence for those involved, so it is important to recognize a conflict that is in a spiral.
** It is important to create an environment for effective communication. The following is a list of golden rules of communication skills that I have compiled along the way to remind myself of keys points of effective communication that you can use in conflict or in any place that you deem appropriate:
1. Listen carefully and effectively.
2. Clarify what you have heard by summarizing back to the person with whom you are communicating.
3. Use positive words instead of negative, conflictual terms.
4. Use open-ended questions.
5. Be a role model in how you communicate and show respect.
6. Clarify, clarify, clarify.
7. Watch your verbal and nonverbal communications.
One way that you can clarify with another person is to repeat back what you have heard them say with a statement such as, "So what I am hearing you say is..."
This serves a couple of purposes: 1) it lets the other person know that you are listening; and 2) it also gives the other person an opportunity to clarify if you are not hearing what that person has to say.
**Nonverbal conflict cues are also important to recognize. There are many nonverbal cues such as body language to indicate that a conflict exists; for example, visual agitation, a frown, or crossed arms. Tone is also a cue. We must be aware of nonverbal conflict cues and tone and realize that often times, what is perceived during conflict is not because of what we say, but how we say it.
** Conflicts may be realistic or nonrealistic. People engaged in a realistic conflict may disagree as to how the conflict should be resolved, or the proposed resolution of the conflict. On the other hand, those involved in a nonrealistic conflict are engaging in a conflict where the only end is to hurt or defeat the other.
** Similar to a realistic or a nonrealistic conflict, conflicts can be productive or destructive. The elements of a productive conflict are similar to the elements of good communication. Likewise, the elements of a destructive conflict are similar to those of destructive communication. Those engaged in a productive conflict will most likely reap the benefits of conflict such as a positive gateway to change. Those engaged in a destructive conflict will most likely not benefit from the conflict process and end up in a worse position than prior to the conflict situation. It is important to recognize a destructive conflict so that it can be altered to a productive conflict where resolution and positive change may take place.