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What Does Courage Mean To Me

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Courage Courage is a strange word to me. I’ve never considered anything I’ve done to be courageous - only things that had to be done or said that I never wanted. They’re ordinary acts. Things that nobody will care about and things nobody will remember. Speaking up. Standing out. Bland, mediocre. I’ve been told that I’m utterly average and I’ve learned to accept it. I don’t ask for pity or attention. I’m not able to please people and that’s fine with me. Being average is how I’ve always lived. It wraps around me like a shell covers turtle. It’s heavy, it makes slows me down, it hinders my abilities but it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve learned to call it my home and without it I’d be lost. I’ve been taught to never expect much reward from my work, that I’m expendable. I’m just another figure that you walk by …show more content…
I’ve been told that I’m useless, a disappointment, unmanageable, a waste of space. I’ve been told that I don’t deserve better, that they deserve a better son than me. That I’ll never be good enough no matter how I try because my flaws and mistakes will always swallow my good intentions. I’ve been told that I’ll never understand, that they have the right to do whatever they want simply because they can. I’ve been ignored, ostracized, looked down upon. I’ve been told that no matter how high I climb I’ll just fall back down. I’m just another person in a crowd of others. Insignificant. I’m worthless and that’s okay with me. I don’t ask for “help,” for “comfort.” I don’t need or want any of those things. I’m fine. So when I’m asked, “What’s something you’ve done that’s courageous?” I can’t think of anything. Anything I’ve ever done has always been mediocre or less than average. What’s my act of courage? Writing this paper. Leaving myself vulnerable to the consequences of my mindless words and ungratefulness. I don’t have the right to complain, no right to waste your time with my bland story. I shouldn’t ask for more. How has this act changed me? It hasn’t. It

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