...Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better? HSCO 508- Studies in Interpersonal Communication Destany Sanders Liberty University November 28, 2015 SUMMARIZE! “Why Don’t We Listen Better?” by James Petersen is about different ways to improve your communication skills and how to become a better listener. Peterson breaks it up in five different parts, the first part talks about different options one can take when communication. The second part helps develop different approaches on the talking and listening process, the fourth part indicates different listening techniques, and the fifth section concludes it all. In Petersen’s first part “Options in Communicating,” develops several different theories and emotions that are known as the Flat-Brain Theory, this is something that alters your hearing, sight, thinking, as well as your sensibility to things. One who suffers from flat-brain syndrome often believe that others are the problem (Peterson, 2007). The flat brain theory contains a formula of one’s self that includes the stomach, heart and head, the stomach consists of our emotions and feelings, the heart gives and receives concerns, and the head incorporates thinking planning, and remembering (Peterson, 2007). Peterson indicates that the way one think may change their feelings. In the Talker-Listener process, it is Peterson’s way to remind people that you do not overpower to get your point across you have to take turns and listen to each...
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...Practical Book Review of Petersen Christina Suarez HSCO 508/ Liberty University August 2, 2015 Practical Book Review of Petersen Summarize! Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships by James C. Peterson is considered self-help book, which explains the way listening may enhance the way we think and respond to different situations in our daily life through communication. Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships has offered immense insight in the manner to promote relationships and the way to link to others. There are five sections to Petersons’ book that include options in communicating, talker-listener process, listening techniques, using TLC in groups, and the concluding philosophy. One of my favorite sections of the text is second part is the Talker-Listeners Card , which teaches us the way to take turns in that we must listen first and respond second. The third part of the book talks about retaining the methods that you learned about, as well as then finding what works best better. The fourth and fifth part suggests that one should become that individual whose presence is needed in a given conservation. Petersen learned through personal observation that most people think they listen, but don’t really hear each other. The test suggests that communication starts with the brain, heart, and stomach. Petersen (2007). argues that stomach functions comprise of our emotions...
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...going through life without the ability to listen, or possibly worse, the ability to talk. When added, what is the sum of listening and talking? Conversation. Surely, conversation is valuable, so wouldn’t it then be of immense importance to learn how to effectively converse? This is where Celeste Headlee comes in. Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show titled, “On Second Thought,” on Georgia Public Broadcasting. Being a radio show host, Headlee knows how to hold a conversation. In her speech “10 Ways to have a better conversation,” Celeste uses her incredible amount of knowledge to inform the audience through the form of a TED Talk. The intent of the speech appears to be to inform, but Ms. Headlee clearly desires the audience to be persuaded...
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...Ilona Apelsinov September 13th, 2015 Weekly essay #1 What is the point of music? Why do people listen to music and often tend to not understand what the lyrics are? Why do we like to listen to something we don't understand or is not inspirational? There are people in this world that like some songs for no apparent reason either because the beat is catchy or just because everyone likes it. Philosophically it is not possible to like a song for no reason because there is always a reason for our actions. For something not to have a reason, it is an action without thought. But since liking something has an idea behind it, it is impossible to like something without reasons. When you like something, it is like an emotion because emotions are caused by reasons. Everyone has reasons for liking songs, some are fond of their likings and some are not. That is why some people admit to liking the songs they listen to and some just keep it to themselves. Therefore, liking something for no reason is impossible. From my experience, I tend to listen to the songs that sound catchy. I have many reasons why I like the songs that I listen to because they are either catchy, have significant lyrics that have meanings behind them or because the words that are being sung in the song connects with the situations that I might be dealing with. People use some songs to express their emotions when they can't explain it by using their own words. For example, the song "Trap Queen"...
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...affected by the way we communicate. And in our fast-paced world we live in it is becoming increasingly difficult for people to send and receive clear and meaningful messages. Effective communication is vital to healthy relationships such that the absence of it can bring any relationship to a “grinding halt” (Petersen 2007, 4). Why Don’t We Listen Better? is a tool box full of practical advice designed to help relationships flourish through enhanced communication techniques. Dissecting the intricate parts of communication, Petersen focuses on the elusive art of effective listening. Through detailed examples and realistic scenarios, Petersen demonstrates in vivid detail the profound role “real listening” plays in our lives. In the process, he candidly exposes his own shortcomings, which gives the reader comfort in knowing that even experts in the field can face challenges. This user-friendly guide is for readers who want to create thriving relationships through effective and productive conversation. Although I found Petersen’s work to be an invaluable resource, I did not agree with everything the author suggested. For example, I was not convinced with the notion of using his Talker-Listener Card (TLC) as an objective third person mediating a heated discussion (Petersen, 55). The basic premise behind the TLC is to help people become better communicators by taking turns talking and listening. When the card is flashed, the objective is to oblige the other person to listen first before...
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...by reading textbooks. You do not get fluency by going to English schools. You do not get fluency by studying grammar rules. The Key To Excellent Speaking Listening Is The Key To get English fluency, you must have a lot of understandable repetitive listening. That is the ONLY way. To be a FANTASTIC English speaker, you must learn English with your ears, not with your eyes. In other words, you must listen. Your ears are the key to excellent speaking. What kind of listening is best? Well, it must be understandable and must be repetitive. Both of those words are important-- Understandable and Repetitive. If you don't understand, you learn nothing. You will not improve. That's why listening to English TV does not help you. You don't understand most of it. It is too difficult. It is too fast. Its obvious right? If you do not understand, you will not improve. So, the best listening material is EASY. That’s right, you should listen mostly to easy English. Most students listen to English that is much too difficult. They don’t understand enough, and so they learn slowly. Listen to easier English, and your speaking will improve faster! Understanding is Only Half The Formula. Understanding is not enough. You must also have a lot of repetition. If you hear a new word only once, you will soon forget it. If you hear it 5 times, you...
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...Why it is Important to Understand the Roles of Lay Counseling Listening is proving to be very important. It bears repeating because it enhances our ability to understand where the other person is coming from. The author tells us how to create a listening environment and how to construct a conversation. The way to create a listening environment comes with a few steps. One must learn how to listen properly. Listening plays an important role in all conversations. One must also be an effective listener. One way to become an effective listener is to be solicitous of the views of the conversation and to provide their undivided attention. Of course, reading about effective listening and actually engaging in it as a counselor are two different...
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...SUMMARIZE! Petersen, J. C. (2007). Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicarting & Connecting in Relationships. Portland, OR: Petersen Publication. A self-help book that explains in detail on how listening can in fact improve how we think and respond to different situations in life. Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships has given great insight on how to improve relationships and how to connect with others. As Petersen divides this book into five different divisions he allows you to meditate as well as resolve your own issues that you may experience when it comes to communicating. Part one as he calls it is the Flat Brain Theory of Emotions in which explains how our emotions play a major role in how we relate to others, secondly the Talker-Listeners Card teaches us how to take turns. That we should listen first respond second. Thirdly retaining the techniques that you learned about and then finding what works for you best. Fourth and fifth become that person whose presence is wanted in a conversation. Petersen explains to us that communication develops in our brain, stomach and heart. That the brain is where our speech is formulated and this is how we choose which words we will decide to use through the communication process. According to (Petersen, 2007, p. 11) stomach functions consist of our feelings and emotions even though you may feel emotions elsewhere. As for the heart a healthy heart give and receive concerns, suggestions, and...
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...actually put my troubles into words. I was able to better uderstand my own troubles. I don't talk about them often, so I try not to dwell on them, which is why as I was typing I was also discovering my own problems. However a real drawback is not seeing a face. Seeing someone actively listening to you, and actually seeing the empathy on their face is really motivating when telling your story. Not to mention you know it's not going to actually "listen." You won't get the Unconditional positive regard, where someone is actively accepting and respecting your words. I did have some issues where the therapist just reworded my previous sentance, and used it as a question. I don't know if that was just because I worded my sentances wrong, or if it's a glitch in the system. 2....
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...sales people was published a few years ago by Dave Kahle a renown sales management trainer and One of the not-so-surprising conclusions was this: The best sales people “listen more constructively” than their more average counterparts. I just came across some research that confirmed what many of us in the profession of educating salespeople have known for years: That purchasers would be “much more likely” to buy from a salesperson if that salesperson would just “listen” to the customer. The survey found that some of the worst offenders were experienced salespeople. Listening is one of the four fundamental competencies of a professional salesperson, and yet, the profession is, in general, so poor at it that most customers remark on our inability to do it well. a look at vacancy ad in dailies you will see more and more companies put emphasis on other sales competencies and leaving out listening. A good talker with outgoing personality fitted very well in the conventional description of a sales person. Many sales people in most companies today are oriented to talk and talk to customer until the customer/ prospects drops dead or buys! Moreover, salespeople today are so much driven by targets and with a lot of whipping from the sales managers to hit the quotas that listening to customers has become secondly. Why is listening such a powerful sales competency? 1. Customers ‘pain’ can only be identified by digging beneath the surface of a customer’s needs and uncovering deeper and...
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...How we hear and the Effects that Music has on the Body, Mind and Emotions. By Ryan Determan Introduction A. Music is the most universal language do to the sounds and beats that can be created and passed on to different people and cultures. B. These sounds and beats that we call music has a substantial influence on our minds and bodies. C. Different kinds of music effect people differently like some kinds of music are calming to the body and mind; while other kinds, excite the body and mind. D. Not only are we affected by the beats and melodies of the music but also the lyrics that are sung. E. In order for me to explain the effects of music on both the mind and body I will use examples of cause and effect and viewpoints of people conducted on surveys including different perspectives. Body, mind and why How we interpret or hear sounds 1. In order for us to understand what music is we have to find out what is music and how we hear it. 2. When we hear something, it starts in the form of an air presser wave. a. Then it hits the outer ear where its funneled into the ear canal where it reaches and vibrates the ear drum; from there the presser wave energy is transformed into mechanical energy into the middle of the ear where it vibrates three very small bones simultaneously these bones are called the Ossicles. "These bones create different unique movements that embodies the frequencies that embodies the frequencies...
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...Book Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better? Jeremy Miller Liberty University Book Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communication is becoming harder now because of the many technology devices available. Many people do not know how to communicate anymore. Actual face-to-face communication has been replaced with short text and social media postings. Good communication is important in any type of relationship. Often time’s people listen to respond rather than listen to understand what is being said. When people actually listen to understand others it not only benefits the person speaking but it also benefits the listener (Peterson, 2007, pg. 6). In order to have good conversation that is beneficial to both parties, both parties have to first become better listeners. Summary Good communication skills are important for every aspect of life. Communication improvement skills can improve relationships, professional development, spiritual growth, and friendships. However, a person cannot improve his/her communication skills if he/she does not improve his/her listening skills. Many people have bad communication because they fail to listen to the other person. In conversation people are more concerned with telling their story than listening to others story (Peterson, 2007, pg. 5). Unnecessary confusion is caused by people thinking they are listening but they do not really hear each other (Peterson, 2007, pg. 7). Peterson (2007) provides helpful communication strategies to improve...
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...Unit 1: The Weekend 2. Let’s Listen (Page 2) 1. A: So, how was your weekend, Don? B: Well, I wanted to go dancing with my girlfriend but she was too tired to go out. A: So what did you do? B: We just stayed home and watched TV. 2. A: I had a great weekend. B: What happened? A: I met this really terrific girl and I think she likes me. B: Really? A: Yeah, we’re going out next weekend. B: All right! 3. A: What did you do last weekend? B: Umm, I spent most of the time at the gym. A: How come? B: Well, I plan to enter a bodybuilding competition next month. A: Gee, I didn’t know you were a bodybuilder. B: Yeah. Want to see my muscles? 4. A: So, what was your weekend like? B: Not very good. My brother came over. A: Yeah? B: Well, he’s got three young boys. I spent all weekend playing computer games with my nephews. Now I’m exhausted. A: I’ll bet! 5. A: Did you have a nice weekend? B: Mmm. Not too bad. A: Did you do anything special? B: Well, I saw a really good movie. A: Who with? B: Oh, I don’t think you know him. It’s this really good-looking guy I just met. 6. A: Did you have a nice weekend, Teresa? B: It was okay. A: So what did you do? B: Well, I met some friends on Saturday and we rented a video. A: How about Sunday? Did you see the World Series on TV? B: The what? A: The baseball game. B: Oh. No, I was too tired. I slept most of the day. A: You’re kidding! You missed a really great game. 3. Let’s Listen (Page 3) 1. A: So, how was your...
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...Misty Budig Roberta Effinger April 1, 2012 COM 125-504 Reflections Part II Listening Listening has slowly become one of my stronger characteristics. While I am a better listener at work, I hope to be a better listener in the home someday. In my line of work it is very important to listen to everything you hear. A resident may be telling you something completely off the wall but if you are truly listening there is always something more there. I have a man in our memory care unit, for advanced stages in Alzheimer’s, whom is constantly coined aggressive and hard to deal with. I find that he is actually afraid and timid. Since the expectation of aggression is there the caregivers tend to approach him in pairs or even three sometimes. They want to just attack the situation and be done with it, either it be a shower or simple change of clothes. The girls come at him and he yells things, like “nails” or “keys”. They think he is just being unruly. I have noticed there are more and more skin tears on him and bruises. When he is yelling “nails” he is trying to say something. Maybe he is trying to tell someone that he has been hurt or even cut by someone’s nails at some point in time. After a long hard day at work and then some school work, I am just exhausted. I don’t really want to hear anything. It seems this is the best time for my kids to attack me with questions and demands and my husband wants to know when this or that is going to happen. Sometimes lost...
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..."People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for" (Lee). I interpret this quote to mean that you won’t be open to proof or opinions of something that you don’t want to be open to. This quote is part of chapter 17 of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. This quote was said by Judge Taylor and he meant that he cannot control what people see, hear, understand, or take away from what they witness that day at the trial. If anyone present at the trial was not open to an idea, they would not listen to the evidence that supported that idea. This is called selective hearing. “Pride has quite a bit to do with hatred. In many a case in which one hates another, one subconsciously begins patterns of cherry-picking and selective hearing:...
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