Why I Should Be Allowed to Participate in Drug Court

The past month has definitely been a learning experience for me. The biggest lesson that I have learned would have to be about complacency. Since I first started attending AA & NA meetings I have heard people say that they became complacent. They felt comfortable where they were in their sobriety and decided that it was okay to slack off a little bit. It was okay to miss the occasional meeting and not call their sponsor every day. Ultimately this always led to a relapse. I was lucky enough to not reach the point of relapsing even though I had become extremely complacent. I was comfortable with my job and only going to group once a week for one hour. I was doing the bare minimum when it came to my weekly meetings instead of going to a meeting a day like I was when I started Drug Court. I have learned that even though a job and a social life are important, I need to be sure that my sobriety comes first. I feel as though I was only days away from a relapse because of the people that I was surrounding myself with and situations that I allowed myself to be apart of. Thankfully I had a major wake up call and was allowed the opportunity to take a step back and see the error of my ways. That being said, I want to be able to participate in Drug Court ultimately so that I can grow. Staying sober wasn’t necessarily an issue for me because I was pretty much given an ultimatum: stay clean or go to prison. By being allowed to participate in Drug Court I can not only stay clean but grow spiritually. I think one of the biggest things that I missed out on while in this program was the opportunity to learn about myself. I’ve had 3 sponsors and have only made it to step 3. I always hear in meetings “Don’t leave before the miracle happens.” I know that if I continue to work with my current sponsor and am diligent about my step work that I will learn more about myself and grow as a person. I have had a serious problem with faith and I would love nothing more than to be able to find that again and I honestly feel like AA can help me with that. I was reading a story in the big book and was inspired by another agnostic’s story. On page 373 he says “Even when I described myself as agnostic, I thought maybe something was watching out for me.” I definitely feel like I have a guardian angel or a higher power or something that is looking out for me. This higher power knows that I have the potential to remain sober and be a productive member of society. At the end of this story, he says “Doubting God’s existence was no barrier at all to a spiritual experience.” This story gives me hope that even though I have my doubts when it comes to religion, there is still hope for me when it comes to my faith. Everyday that I attend a meeting or sit down and have a conversation with my sponsor, I learn something new about myself. By being allowed to participate in Drug Court I am ultimately being allowed to grow and live a better life. The tools that I have learned to use while in this program are tools that will help me to succeed even after I have graduated from Drug Court. That being said, I would like the opportunity to participate in Drug Court because ultimately, “I don’t want to leave before the miracle happens.”