Student’s essay
A famous author once remarked that ” Winners never quit and quitters never win”. People who see their ideas through, however unpragmatic it may be considered by others are the ones who have truly made a difference.
History is replete with examples of people who were perceived as crazy, illogical and even insane by laymen, yet when their ideas were sedulously worked upon, by the creator , day after day, combined with long hours of toil, the result was nothing, short of marvelous.
Lets’s take the example of the Indian freedom struggle fought by Gandhiji on the basis of Satyagraha. It was very difficult for the Britishers to assume that India would be freed one day under the leadership of a loin cloth covered ordinary looking man without the use of weapons or bloodshed. The reason that Indian freedom could be achieved was the unflagging determination of Gandhiji and the uncommon methodology used of winning freedom by peace and not bloodshed.
Looking not far, I can recall the example of Galileo who was reviled and persecuted by the Church authorities for challenging the existing norms that pervaded the society that time. Galileo ‘s fierce determination , not to give up on his ideas even during harsh criticism paved the way for modern space research.
Another convincing example is of the Wright Brothers. Who would have ever imagined that it is indeed possible to fly like a bird and traverse different parts of the globe. I am sure that the Wright brothers were reviled when they first came up with this idea of developing an aeroplane. But, again today their invention has become a legacy.
Though there are several examples of people winning through odds because of their determination and unflagging spirit and creating noteworthy inventions, there could be times when this may be the cause of much trouble. Consider the doggedness of Hitler.though he was criticised for his heinous atrocitities on the Jews, he still did not stop the atrocities. These are few examples when people with strong determination can create an ill legacy instead of a legacy.
My analysis
Score: 4.0
The writing in this essay has a lot of punch and makes reading it easy. However, there is little to no analysis. Like many essays on this prompt, the essay takes an extreme position, and beyond a vague, jumbled mention of Hitler, does not address the instructions: “…you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true.”
As an SAT essay goes—basically you can take a relatively strong position—this is a good essay. Even then, some of the examples lack persuasiveness: “I am sure the Wright brothers were reviled.” Maybe they weren’t (they actually were, somewhat), but to say “you think” vs. “many notable scientists mocked the Wright Brothers notion of human flight” makes the essay far more tentative than it should be.
Also, the examples are very sparse, especially Galileo. Some more development would have perhaps bumped this essay to a ‘4.5’. But without any analysis, and by failing to take into account the other side, this essay gets only a ‘4.’
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Finally, the language is sometimes fluffy and orotund (“I can recall the example of Galileo”, “nothing short of marvelous.”). By saying that “another convincing example” makes your readers wary, and likely to challenge the convincing-ness of the example. (As noted earlier, the example isn’t convincing).
VINCE LOMBARDI : WINNERS NEVER QUIT AND QUITTERS NEVER WIN
Riya Rose
Civil Engineering (2011-15)
A very common quote,yet, no one has fully grasped the meaning of it. This was quoted by the American football coach Vince Lombardi. His never-dying spirit led his team to 3 straight championships. Not just Vince Lombardi but history is filled with such legendary examples. Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,Napolean Bonaparte being just a few.
The most famous example being that of the Scotland king, Robert the Bruce, who was both brave and wise. The King of England was at war with him, and had led a great army into Scotland to drive him out of the land and to make Scotland a part of England. Battle after battle he had fought with England. Six times Robert the Bruce led his army against his foes. Six times his men had been beaten, until finally they were driven into flight. At last the army of Scotland was entirely scattered, and the king was forced to hide.
One rainy day, Robert the Bruce lay in a cave, listening to the rainfall outside the cave entrance. He was tired and felt sick at heart, ready to give up all hope. It seemed to him that there was no use for him to try to do anything more.
As he lay thinking, he noticed a spider over his head, getting ready to weave her web. He watched her as she worked slowly and with great care. Six times she tried to throw her thread from one edge of the cave wall to another. Six times her thread fell short.
“Poor thing!” said Robert the Bruce. “You, too, know what it’s like to fail six times in a row.”
But the spider did not lose hope. With still more care, she made ready to try for a seventh time. Robert the Bruce almost forgot his own troubles as he watched, fascinated. She swung herself out upon the slender line. Would she fail again? No! The thread was carried safely to the cave wall, and fastened there.
“Yes!” cried Bruce, “I, too, will try a seventh time!”
So he arose and called his men together. He told them of his plans, and sent them out with hopeful messages to cheer the discouraged people. Soon there was an army of brave men around him. A seventh battle was fought, and this time the King of England was forced to retreat back to his own country.
It wasn’t long before England recognized Scotland as an independent country with Robert the Bruce as its rightful king.
And to this very day, the victory and independence of Scotland is traced to a spider who kept trying again and again to spin her web in a cave and inspired the king of Scotland, Robert the Bruce.
Believe you can succeed and you will. Success means winning.When a setback hits us,our first reaction is to become so emotionally upset,like king Robert,that we fail to learn the lesson. This defeat is only a state of mind and nothing more. We can turn setbacks into victories. All we have to do is,find the lesson, apply it and then look back on the defeat and smile.
Engineers are curious creatures. We’re quick to accept full credit for our victories but are equally quick to blame someone else for our failure. This doesn’t mean,that we find another reason to say, ”Hey!I’am a loser”, instead view your mistake as, ”here’s another way to make me a bigger winner”.
Now, if we don’t find anyone to blame, we blame our luck. We say, ”Well,that’s the way the ball bounces’ ‘and let it go. But just stop and think, balls don’t bounce here and there for uncertain reasons. As future engineers,we learn that the bounce of the ball is determined by three things :the ball, the way it is thrown and the surface it strikes!!! Physical laws explain the bounce of the ball not luck!!! Blaming luck doesn’t teach us to be prepared to avoid the mistakes the next time it comes.
The difference between winning and quitting lies in one’s attitude. Five guidelines to help you when you feel like quitting:
1) study the defect
2) have courage to find out where you went wrong
3) stop blaming luck
4) stick to your goal.If one way doesn’t work,try a new approach
5) Remember,there is a good side in every situation. Find it and whip the feeling of quitting away.
”Winning is not a sometime thing. Its an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit”
-Vince lombardi….