...A**HOLE'S GUIDE DAN I N D A N T E AND KARL MARKS ST. MARTIN'S GRIFFIN N EW Y O R K A**HOLE'S GUIDE THE COMPLETE A**HOLE's GUIDE TO HANDLING CHICKS. C o p y r i g h t © 2 0 0 3 by Dan Indante and Karl Marks. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010. www.stmartins.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Indante, Dan. The complete a**hole's guide to handling chicks / Dan Indante and Karl Marks. p . cm. ISBN 0-312-31084-6 1. Man-woman relationships. 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Tide: Complete a**hole's guide to handling chicks. II. Marks, Karl. III. Title. HQ801.M37135 307-dc21 2003 2002045213 10 9 8 CONTENTS Introduction: Chicks, What the Fuck? Fifty Tips on Being a Better Asshole ix xiii 1. From Birth to Beating Off The Birth of an Asshole The Purest Form of Asshole Gimme My Toy, You Bitch! Crossing the Dance Floor How Do I Get Her? The Beginning of the End Roughing Up the Suspect 1 1 1 2 3 4 6 2. High School Welcome Mat Firsts The Back-Seat Boogie Chicks Are the Enemy Watch Your Back—Your Friends Won't 8 8 9 15 16 20 vi C O N T E N T S Pecking Order Your First Pincushion So You're Looking to Get Laid High School Final...
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...P LA T O and a P LAT Y P U S WA L K I N TO A B A R . . . Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes < T H O M A S C AT H C A RT & D A N I E L K L E I N * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * P l at o a n d a P l at y p u s Wa l k i n t o a B a r . . . PLATO and a PLAT Y PUS WA L K I N T O A B A R . . . < Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Th o m as Cat h c a rt & Dan i e l K l e i n A B R A M S I M AG E , N E W YO R K e d i to r : Ann Treistman d e s i g n e r : Brady McNamara pro d u c t i on m anag e r : Jacquie Poirier Cataloging-in-publication data has been applied for and may be obtained from the Library of Congress. ISBN 13: 978-0-8109-1493-3 ISBN 10: 0-8109-1493-x Text copyright © 2007 Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein Illlustration credits: ©The New Yorker Collection 2000/Bruce Eric Kaplan/ cartoonbank.com: pg 18; ©Andy McKay/www.CartoonStock.com: pg 32; ©Mike Baldwin/www.CartoonStock.com: pgs 89, 103; ©The New Yorker Collection 2000/ Matthew Diffee/cartoonbank.com: pg 122; ©The New Yorker Collection 2000/ Leo Cullum/cartoonbank.com: pg 136; ©Merrily Harpur/Punch ltd: 159; ©Andy McKay/www.CartoonStock.com: pg 174. Published in...
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...ALSO BY NEIL STRAUSS The Long Hard Road Out of Hell WITH MARILYN MANSON The Dirt WITH MOTLEY CRUE How to Make Love Like a Porn Star WITH JENNA JAMESON Don't Try This at Home WITH DAVE NAVARRO THE GAME PENETRATING THE SECRET SOCIETY OF PICKUP ARTISTS Neil Strauss Regan Books An Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers Cover silhouettes are from the following fonts :Darrian's Sexy Silhouettes by © Darrian (http://westwood.fortunecity.com/cerruti/445/), Subeve by © Sub Communications (http://www.subtitude.com),NorpIcons 1 and Norp Icons 2 by © DJ Monkeyboy (http://www.djmonkeyboy.com). "The Randall Knife": Words and Music by Guy Clark © 1983 EMI APRIL MUSIC INC. and GSC MUSIC. All Rights Controlled and Administered by EMI APRIL MUSIC INC. All Rights Reserved. International Copyright Secured. Used by Permission. In order to protect the identity of some women and members of the community, the names and identifying characteristics of a small number of incidental characters in this book have been changed, and three minor characters are composites. THE GAME COPYRIGHT © 200 5 BY N E I L STRAUSS. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, address HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022. HarperCollins...
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...Ok. First, I just want to say that I think it is so cool that you guys have this awesome forum. I’ve never had a good reason to post in it before, but, well, I’m in Mr. McMurtry’s 10th grade honors English class (go me), and our half-year fiction project is due just before winter break, which is coming up. Ok. So, before you read this, you should know that I already asked Mr. McMurtry if I could write my fiction project in an experimental science fiction style and make lots of horrible, malicious, false, and hateful blood libels against the Mormons, and he asked what I had in mind, and I told him that I thought it could be cool to write a story that consisted entirely of a War between Mormons and Scientologists and Atheist Texan Cowboys in the Future, and he said that would be fine. I knew he’d let me do it, as his homosexuality is a well known fact to the student body, and therefore his concomitant openness to avant-guard art and literature and experimentation and stuff like that. Not like the other English teacher, Ms. Nichols, who is the sort of totally sexless spinster that makes her students write poems about Jesus, which I’m pretty sure is fucking illegal, although I’m sure nobody in this hick town cares. God and Football, all the way. Ok, so, then I didn’t do any work on it at all until last night. We had to do a one-page outline a few weeks ago, which is so stupid, so I did it on the bus and I have no idea what I wrote, so last night I just started over from scratch...
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...Bloodlines of Illuminati by: Fritz Springmeier, 1995 Introduction: I am pleased & honored to present this book to those in the world who love the truth. This is a book for lovers of the Truth. This is a book for those who are already familiar with my past writings. An Illuminati Grand Master once said that the world is a stage and we are all actors. Of course this was not an original thought, but it certainly is a way of describing the Illuminati view of how the world works. The people of the world are an audience to which the Illuminati entertain with propaganda. Just one of the thousands of recent examples of this type of acting done for the public was President Bill Clinton’s 1995 State of the Union address. The speech was designed to push all of the warm fuzzy buttons of his listening audience that he could. All the green lights for acceptance were systematically pushed by the President’s speech with the help of a controlled congressional audience. The truth on the other hand doesn’t always tickle the ear and warm the ego of its listeners. The light of truth in this book will be too bright for some people who will want to return to the safe comfort of their darkness. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I deal with real facts, not theory. Some of the people I write about, I have met. Some of the people I expose are alive and very dangerous. The darkness has never liked the light. Yet, many of the secrets of the Illuminati are locked up tightly simply because secrecy is a way...
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...Growing Up Asian in Australia file:///D|/ /Calibre Library/Wei Zhi/Growing Up Asian in Australia (799)/text/part0000.html[2014-6-18 23:54:32] Growing Up Asian in Australia file:///D|/ /Calibre Library/Wei Zhi/Growing Up Asian in Australia (799)/text/part0000.html[2014-6-18 23:54:32] Growing Up Asian in Australia Growing up Asian in Australia file:///D|/ /Calibre Library/Wei Zhi/Growing Up Asian in Australia (799)/text/part0001.html[2014-6-18 23:54:33] Growing Up Asian in Australia Growing up Asian in Australia ...................................... Alice Pung Edited by file:///D|/ /Calibre Library/Wei Zhi/Growing Up Asian in Australia (799)/text/part0002.html[2014-6-18 23:54:33] Growing Up Asian in Australia Published by Black Inc., an imprint of Schwartz Media Pty Ltd Level 5, 289 Flinders Lane Melbourne Victoria 3000 Australia email: enquiries@blackincbooks.com http://www.blackincbooks.com Introduction and this collection © Alice Pung & Black Inc. Individual works © retained by the authors. Reprinted 2008 . ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 2008. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior consent of the publishers. Photo of Hoa Pham by Alister Air. Photo of Joy Hopwood by Yanna Black. The National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry: Pung, Alice (ed.) Growing up...
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...Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Acknowledgements Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 THE BESTSELLING NOVELS OF TOM CLANCY THE TEETH OF THE TIGER A new generation--Jack Ryan, Jr.--takes over in Tom Clancy's extraordinary, and extraordinarily prescient, novel. "INCREDIBLY ADDICTIVE." --Daily Mail (London) RED RABBIT Tom Clancy returns to Jack Ryan's early days-- in an engrossing novel of global political drama . . . "A WILD, SATISFYING RIDE." --New York Daily News THE BEAR AND THE DRAGON A clash of world powers. President Jack Ryan's trial by fire. "HEART-STOPPING ACTION . . . CLANCY STILL REIGNS." --The Washington Post RAINBOW SIX John Clark is used to doing the CIA's dirty work. Now he's taking on the world . . . "ACTION-PACKED." --The New York Times Book Review EXECUTIVE ORDERS A devastating terrorist act leaves Jack Ryan as President of the United States . . . "UNDOUBTEDLY CLANCY'S BEST YET." --The Atlanta Journal-Constitution DEBT OF HONOR It begins with the murder of an American woman in the back streets of Tokyo. It ends in war . . . "A SHOCKER." --Entertainment...
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...GOD HATES US ALL GOD HATES US ALL HANK MOODY with Jonathan Grotenstein Simon Spotlight Entertainment A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 www.SimonandSchuster.com This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright © 2009 by Showtime Networks Inc. Showtime and related marks are registered trademarks of Showtime Networks Inc., a CBS Company. All rights reserved. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Pocket Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020. First Simon Spotlight Entertainment trade paperback edition August 2009 SIMON SPOTLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. Designed by Jaime Putorti Manufactured in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress...
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...The World is Flat Thomas L Friedman Kq p K To Matt and Kay and to Ron Kq p K Contents How the World Became Flat One: While I Was Sleeping / 3 Two: The Ten Forces That Flattened the World / 48 Flattener#l. 11/9/89 Flattener #2. 8/9/95 Flattener #3. Work Flow Software Flattener #4. Open-Sourcing Flattener #5. Outsourcing Flattener #6. Offshoring Flattener #7. Supply-Chaining Flattener #8. Insourcing Flattener #9. In-forming Flattener #10. The Steroids Three: The Triple Convergence / 173 Four: The Great Sorting Out / 201 America and the Flat World Five: America and Free Trade / 225 Six: The Untouchables / 237 Seven: The Quiet Crisis / 250 Eight: This Is Not a Test / 276 Developing Countries and the Flat World Nine: The Virgin of Guadalupe / 309 Companies and the Flat World Geopolitics and the Flat World Eleven: The Unflat World / 371 Twelve: The Dell Theory of Conflict Prevention / 414 Conclusion: Imagination Thirteen: 11/9 Versus 9/11 / 441 Acknowledgments I 471 Index I 475 Kq p K :::::How the World Became Flat ::::: ONE While I Was Sleeping Your Highnesses, as Catholic Christians, and princes who love and promote the holy Christian faith, and are enemies of the doctrine of Mahomet, and of all idolatry and heresy, determined to send me, Christopher Columbus, to the above-mentioned countries of India, to see the said princes, people, and territories, and to learn their disposition and the proper method of converting them to our...
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...the globe should read the book . . . it is certain to stir up some much needed debate . . . has received rave reviews from within the UK pension industry” (Global Pensions) “. . . time and money well spent . . . the tectonic plates are shifting under the UK investment establishment” (Daily Telegraph) “. . . an indispensable roadmap for anyone looking to create a successful investment programme . . .” (The Securities Investment Review) “It’s some time since I read anything as clear and punchy . . . if you are involved in setting investment strategy for a pension fund, this book cannot help but clarify your thinking.” (Benefits & Compensation International) “This book stakes Fraser-Sampson’s claim to be recognised as one of the great thinkers on portfolio theory, ranking alongside Markowitz and Swensen.” (Rebecca Meijlink, AlphaBet Capital) “I somehow expected another version of Swensen’s “Pioneering Portfolio Management”. However, this is in my eyes a huge improvement and a surprisingly entertaining and satisfying read.” (Thomas Meyer, EIF, author: Beyond the J-Curve) Private Equity as an Asset Class For other titles in the Wiley Finance Series please see www.wiley.com/finance Private Equity as an Asset Class Guy Fraser-Sampson Copyright © 2007 John Wiley & Sons Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex PO19 8SQ, England Telephone (+44) 1243 779777 Email (for orders and customer service enquiries): cs-books@wiley.co.uk ...
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...though he has, in consequence of his angelic nature, a kind of empire in the liquid waste or air, yet this is certainly part of his punishment, that he is . . . without any fixed place, or space, allowed him to rest the sole of his foot upon. Daniel Defoe, _The History of the Devil_ I The Angel Gibreel "To be born again," sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, "first you have to die. Hoji! Hoji! To land upon the bosomy earth, first one needs to fly. Tat-taa! Taka-thun! How to ever smile again, if first you won't cry? How to win the darling's love, mister, without a sigh? Baba, if you want to get born again . . ." Just before dawn one winter's morning, New Year's Day or thereabouts, two real, full-grown, living men fell from a great height, twenty-nine thousand and two feet, towards the English Channel, without benefit of parachutes or wings, out of a clear sky. "I tell you, you must die, I tell you, I tell you," and thusly and so beneath a moon of alabaster until a loud cry crossed the night,...
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...Getting the Love You Want By: Harville Hendrix ISBN: 0805068953 A Guide for Couples See detail of this book on Amazon.com Book served by AMAZON NOIR (www.amazon-noir.com) project by: PAOLO CIRIO UBERMORGEN.COM ALESSANDRO LUDOVICO paolocirio.net ubermorgen.com neural.it Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 I THE MYSTERY OF ATTRACTION The type of human being we prefer reveals the contours of our heart. -ORTEGA Y GASSET WHEN C o u P L E S COME to me for marital therapy, I usually ask them how they met. Maggie and Victor, a couple in their mid-fifties who were contemplating divorce after twenty-nine years of marriage, told me this story: "We met in graduate school," Maggie recalled. "We were renting rooms in a big house with a shared kitchen. I was cooking breakfast when I looked up and saw this man-Victor- walk into the room. I had the strangest reaction. My legs wanted to carry me to him, but my head was telling me to stay away. The feelings were so strong that I felt faint and had to sit down." Once Maggie recovered from shock, she introduced herself to Victor, and the two of them spent half the morning talking. "That was it," said Victor. "We were together every possible moment for the next two months, and then we eloped." Page 4 q Getting the Love You Want "If those had been more sexually liberated times," added Maggie, "I'm sure we would have been lovers from that very first week. I've never felt so intensely about anyone in my entire life." Not all first encounters...
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...Jojo Moyes a fter you Contents CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN CHAPTER SIXTEEN CHAPTER SEVENTEEN CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CHAPTER NINETEEN CHAPTER TWENTY CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE CHAPTER THIRTY ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS FOLLOW PENGUIN For my grandmother, Betty McKee chapter one The big man at the end of the bar is sweating. He holds his head low over his double Scotch, but every few minutes he glances up and out, behind him, towards the door. A fine sheen of perspiration glistens under the strip-lights. He lets out a long, shaky breath, disguised as a sigh, and turns back to his drink. ‘Hey. Excuse me?’ I look up from polishing glasses. ‘Can I get another one here?’ I want to tell him it’s really not a good idea, it won’t help, it might even put him over the limit. But he’s a big guy and it’s fifteen minutes till closing time and, according to company guidelines, I have no reason to tell him no, so I walk over, take his glass and hold it up to the optic. He nods at the bottle. ‘Double,’ he says, and slides a fat hand down his damp face. ‘That’ll be seven pounds twenty, please.’ It’s a quarter to eleven on a Tuesday night and the Shamrock and Clover, East City...
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...Salman Rushdie Midnight's Children First published in 1981 Excerpts from the Koran come from the Penguin Classics edition, translated by N. J. Dawood, copyright (c) 1956, 1959,1966,1968,1974. for Zafar Rushdie who, contrary to all expectations, was born in the afternoon Contents Book One The perforated sheet Mercurochrome Hit-the-spittoon Under the carpet A public announcement Many-headed monsters Methwold Tick, tock Book Two The fisherman's pointing finger Snakes and ladders Accident in a washing-chest All-India radio Love in Bombay My tenth birthday At the Pioneer Cafe Alpha and Omega The Kolynos Kid Commander Sabarmati's baton Revelations Movements performed by pepperpots Drainage and the desert Jamila Singer How Saleem achieved purity Book Three The buddha In the Sundarbans Sam and the Tiger The shadow of the Mosque A wedding Midnight Abracadabra Book One The perforated sheet I was born in the city of Bombay ... once upon a time. No, that won't do, there's no getting away from the date: I was born in Doctor Narlikar's Nursing Home on August 15th, 1947. And the time? The time matters, too. Well then: at night. No, it's important to be more ... On the stroke of midnight, as a matter of fact. Clock-hands joined palms in respectful greeting as I came. Oh, spell it out, spell it out: at the precise instant of India's arrival at independence, I tumbled forth into the world. There were gasps. And, outside the...
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...Inc., including, but not limited to, in any network or other electronic storage or transmission, or broadcast for distance learning. Some ancillaries, including electronic and print components, may not be available to customers outside the United States. This book is printed on acid-free paper. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 DOC/DOC 1 0 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ISBN: MHID: 978-0-07-803818-1 0-07-803818-9 Vice President & Editor-in-Chief: Michael Ryan Vice President EDP/Central Publishing Services: Kimberly Meriwether David Editorial Director: Beth Mejia Senior Managing Editor: Meghan Campbell Executive Marketing Manager: Pamela S. Cooper Senior Project Manager: Joyce Watters Buyer: Nicole Baumgartner Design Coordinator: Margarite Reynolds Media Project Manager: Sridevi Palani Compositor: Glyph International Typeface: 10/13 Palatino Printer: R. R. Donnelley All credits appearing on page or at the end of the book are considered to be an extension of the copyright page. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Ruggiero, Vincent Ryan. Beyond feelings: a guide to critical thinking / Vincent Ryan Ruggiero. —9th ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-07-803818-1 (alk. paper) 1. Critical thinking. I....
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