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Xiaomi

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同事怀孕7个月嘴巴变大了 www.6park.com top49 “我有预感我今天要火”,趴在草地上的邱少云对战友说 www.6park.com top48 ----“路过宾馆,感觉整幢楼都在晃。 www.6park.com top47 ----今天晚上要把手机充的满满的电,因为明天同学聚会要去KTV www.6park.com top46 ----喜当爹也是爹,屌丝们看开点 www.6park.com top45 ----广州今天实在是太冷了,女儿躺在被窝里瑟瑟发抖,作为一个父亲我很是心痛,虽然穷,但宁愿自己饿着,也不愿孩子冻着。于是我揣着仅有的几块钱,跑到楼下买了一点药。5分钟后,一根滚烫的xx放进了她嘴里,供她取暖 www.6park.com top 44----“爸爸,到河南郑州了吗?” 爸爸把戴着手表的手伸出火车窗外,然后收回来,手表还在。“没到。”…… “爸爸,现在到了吗?” 爸爸又把戴手表的手伸了出去,再收回来时手表没了。“儿子,咱们到河南郑州了,拿东西下车 www.6park.com top 43----鬼子抓起了全村的男人,让女人认老公,没人认的就是八路。结果有八个女人认了八路回家,平时打他们的老公就被鬼子毙了,成了光荣的寡妇。只有一个女的领了老公回家,结果也成了寡妇:当晚老公被八路毙了,她成了可耻的寡妇。 www.6park.com top 42----昨晚我老婆去成都出差我跟她漫游通话了十几分钟,今天我老婆回来我一查手机费发现,移动没扣漫游费,哈哈移动真是蠢啊。www.6park.com top 41----“会议结束了,下面有请我夫人为大家唱一首《老百姓的钱包是党的牵挂》!” www.6park.com top 40----听闻一高富帅朋友昨晚上腹股沟拉伤,今天早上进医院躺下了。对此我只能奉劝一句:“巭孬嫑夯昆。” www.6park.com top 39---- 一对异地恋人每天在陌陌上聊天,显示距离永远都是1648km。年前女孩受不了这种距离提出分手,男孩沉默不语。除夕之夜女孩回家,习惯性打开陌陌刷新,看到男孩距离她只有1.1km,她再刷新,只有0.9km。她明白发生了什么,含着热泪走向门口……当天晚上,他们的距离变成了-5cm,于是第二天他们还是分手了 www.6park.com top 38---- 女朋友多年来一直做着魔术师助手。
想必也学到了些本事。
一天我回家看到女朋友在卧室床边大喊一声”下面就是见证奇迹的时刻!”
说着把被子掀了起来,我看到我的哥们赤身**的出现在了床上,一脸茫然。
想必他还不知道发生了什么事情呢吧。 www.6park.com top 37---- 女神:“完了,这次考试考砸了。”屌丝轻轻地拍了拍女神的脑袋,说:“小傻瓜,我就知道你不会做,后面几道大题我都没写,这样我们就能上同一所学校了。”三个月后,屌丝去了蓝翔技校,女神被父母送到欧洲留学。 www.6park.com top36 -什么东西进去的时候是硬的 出来的时候是软的?
-人家哪知道 不理你了
-明明是口香糖么... www.6park.com
上联:鲁智深撸自身撸至深处鲁自呻
下联: 詹姆斯战母狮战到暮时詹母湿 甄子丹震自蛋震至蛋疼甄自惮 沙悟净杀吾精杀到净时沙捂茎 周立波舟里波周理波时周立勃 张柏芝张摆姿张百姿时涨白汁 潘金莲盼精怜盼茎连处潘精涟 松岛枫送捣缝松到缝时松岛疯。 www.6park.com top35 好友谈恋爱两个月,网名改成“蓝色”。 www.6park.com top34 一日,三人遇险于沙漠,饿的快要死了.其中一人出了一个主意,把身上没用的部位吃掉.三人都决定吃掉jb。于是一个用刀割下个自己的jb吃了一口.另一个人却玩弄起自己的jb.先吃的人不解其意.那人说:玩大了吃,一个顶俩。玩大之后果然多吃了好几口。两人看到第三人在哪撸。俩人说:这都什么时候了还在撸。第三人说:我想弄点酱,醮着吃 www.6park.com top33 按学号点名,由于花名册字体过小,点到王兆怀时,老教授用花镜看了好一会问:“哎,这是什么兆杯来着 www.6park.com top32 某男隐居深山,一曰赤裸身体躺于草丛中休息.突然来了个采蘑菇的小姑娘:“1个,2个,3个,4个,5个,5个,5个...“最终放弃离开.此男甚爽.第二天依然裸睡于此,来了个采蘑菇的小熊:“1个,2个,3个,4个,5个,5个,5个...6个,7个,8个..... www.6park.com top31 姑娘,您对您理想中另一半的要求是?”
“但愿人长久。” www.6park.com top30 今年数学系GG送MM的情人节礼物:r=b+sinx! www.6park.com top29 一女植物人,待在床上已经好几个月了。一天,护士在帮她清洗身体的时候,发现触摸她的下面监视器会有反应。于是告知其丈夫:KJ刺激一下可能会苏醒哦。丈夫为难地答应了,开始KJ,可不久,女人死了。。 www.6park.com top28 宿舍老二看上一妹子,妹子有男友,老三说自己帮老二搞定……
后来老三有男友了,老二也有女友了…… www.6park.com top27 奥巴马收到火星人发来的贺电,贺电上写着:qs—IHS—iN。奥巴马兴奋不己,立马让美国翻译专家破译,日夜加班无果,求助中国,屌丝看后回电说:你们把信拿反了。 www.6park.com top26 高富帅:“你女朋友还好吗?” 屌丝:“挺好的,只是偶尔会漏气。” www.6park.com top25 “到我家只是坐一会”“我只是想挨近一点我不会碰你”“我只亲你一下不用舌头”“我脱你衣服只想看看不会碰你”“我们只是抱着我不动”“我只在门口碰一碰我不进去”“我进去我不动”“我动一动我不射”“我不射在里面”“这孩子不是我的” www.6park.com top24.5 一艘船失事后,1名女乘客和10名男乘客漂到了一个荒岛上。一个月后,那个女的自杀了,因为她觉得这一个月发生的事情实在太恶心了。一个月后,他们决定把她埋了,因为他们觉得这一个月发生的事情实在太恶心了。一个月后,他们决定把她挖出来,因为他们觉得这一个月发生的事情实在太恶心了。一个月后,上帝把那个女的复活了,因为他觉得这几个月发生的事情实在太恶心了。 www.6park.com top24 儿子 为什么我一到家就看见你总对着电脑桌面发呆呢? www.6park.com top23 某大学女生宿舍贴了一对联:今日青春女生,明日成功女性。 一男生照抄一遍,贴在自己宿舍门口:今日青春女生,明日成功女性 www.6park.com top22-----瞎眼的公公和哑巴但是能听见声音的儿媳妇相依为命,一天公公听到鞭炮声。 于是问儿媳:“什么喜事放鞭炮呀?”
儿媳用自己的屁股到公公的屁股上蹭了两下,公公说了:“有人定亲(腚亲)”
公公又问:“谁家定亲?”
儿媳拿公公的双手放在自己的胸前,公公明白了:“是二奶奶家定亲。”
公公又问:“二奶奶家哪个定亲?”
儿媳把手放到公公的腿中间摸了一把,公公说:“是二蛋吗?”
儿媳摇摇头,又摸了一把,这次公公明白了:“是柱子!”
公公又问:“说的哪儿的姑娘呀?”
儿媳拿公公的手在自己的屁股后面摸了一下,公公说:“是后沟的”;
公公最后问:“姑娘叫什么名?”
儿媳又拿公公的手在自己前面摸了一把,公公说:“奥,原来叫小凤!”
公公又问:“这小凤的男人是做什么的呀?
媳妇略一思考,伸手握住公公裆里那玩意使劲rou搓,公公渐渐有了感觉,下面硬了起来。并感慨的说:“做什么不好,干吗做棍子!柱子姓什么呀?”
媳妇叹了口气,无奈的解开衣服和公公行起苟合之事,公公一边做以便惬意的说:“原来小凤的男人柱子姓焦呀!!”
公公又问:“柱子年龄多大啊?!”
媳妇于是连续大动了39下,公公说:“哦,39了啊,要再大点就更好了!”
公公又问:“柱子家花了不少钱吧?”媳妇把公公的手指放进自己的下面。
公公说:“还是那么小气啊!”(扣B)
公公又问:“柱子家的婚礼在哪里办啊?”媳妇依旧把公公的手指放进自己的下面。
公公说:“啊,在沟里啊?!”
公公又问:“结婚那天天气如何呀??”
媳妇依旧把公公的手指放进自己的下面。公公说:“啊,阴?!”
公公又问:“婚宴下酒菜是什么?”
媳妇伸手握住公公裆里那玩意,放到嘴里。公公边前后伸缩边说:“哦,原来是吃鸡呀。!”
公公又问:“这小凤的性格怎么样啊?”
媳妇将公公手放到si处,揪起两片中的一片……,公公恍然大悟:“哦,单纯(单唇)!”
公公又问:“小凤的眼睛大不大呀?”
媳妇伸手握住公公裆里那玩意,翻开外面的皮,露出那个头,搬开那个眼。公公明白了,感慨道:“都赶上赵薇赵大妈的眼睛了。(马眼)!”
公公又问:“小凤和小焦认识多久了呀?”
媳妇伸手握住公公裆里那玩意,往她大便的地方塞进去。公公一边舒服的直叫一边喊道:“刚交(Gang 交)往就结婚了啊!!”
公公又说:“村上人说这柱子家装修得特别漂亮,用了哪些材料啊?”
媳妇赶忙拿两只奶奶夹着公公下面,公公顿时就明白了:“原来用的是乳胶啊(ru交)!”
公公最后问了:“小凤那么好一孩子,嫁了这么个草包,图他们家什么啊?”
媳妇把公公的手指放进自己的下面的一个特定部位。公公说:“啊,明白了,……地(蒂)!”
公公又问:“小凤在哪工作呀?”
媳女紧紧的抱着公公,用si处狠狠的顶了公公,几番云雨之后,公公一阵痉挛,体内一股暗流喷流通而出,公公瘫软在床,有气无力的说:“哦,在日报社工作呀!(日抱射)!” www.6park.com top20 二十五年前,在深圳的某教室内,老师怒斥学生:“抄抄抄,你就知道抄袭作业,将来到了社会上你还敢这么抄?”男孩一句话都没说。二十五年后,在企鹅新品发布会上,某老总讲出了这个故事。 www.6park.com top19 “看了这么多电影,都是完美大结局,有没有不完美,或者说恶势力获得胜利的?”“当然有,建国大业。” www.6park.com top18 “儿子,明天不用去学校了,我帮你预约了心理医生,最近发觉你的恋母情结越来越严重了。”“我恋母?要不是因为妈妈离世后,你每天在家里穿她的内衣,用她的化妆品,弄得比妈妈还要美,我会恋母?”“我...美?...那你长大后...会娶我吗? www.6park.com top17 屌丝约英语系美女吃饭,为了不暴露屌丝身份,大谈欧债危机,不时还夹杂英文单词。美女果然对他崇拜有加!散去后收到美女信息“墙壁,眼睛,膝盖”但他翻遍所有的暗语书也找不到答案,于是回复:“你真幽默”… www.6park.com top16 儿子跟父亲说:爸爸,今天开始每天多给我1块零花钱吧?我要开始攒钱了。其父曰:攒钱做什么?儿子:我打算日行一善。父亲很开心,于是就每天都多给儿子一块钱。直到有一天开家长会,其父遇到了一个妈妈,她说她的女儿叫刑怡善…… www.6park.com top15 一个老人临终的时候,把他三个经常闹矛盾的孩子叫到床前,递给大儿子一根筷子说,你把它折断,大儿子折断了。他又递给二儿子三根筷子说,现在你把它们折断,二儿子也折断了。老人挣扎着递过去十根筷子,结果小儿子也折断了,老人含恨而终 www.6park.com top14 今天在电视上看到了好多年没见的情敌。这孙子现在出息了,协助警方完成了一次扫黄行动,记者采访时,他双手抱头蹲在墙边,显得很谦虚。 www.6park.com top13 现在我只要看见少妇养大狗,我就意味深长的笑了 www.6park.com top12 我和我爸爸说,我想参加选秀节目。
我爸爸说,你还是等等吧,等我死了,要不你没有故事,初赛都进不了 www.6park.com top11 小强的妈妈教他撒尿的6步骤:1.解开裤子;2.拉下裤子;3.把包皮往后推;4.撒尿;5.把包皮往前推;6.提裤子扣好;一天她走过去厕所,听到小强说1,2,3,4,5,6,她觉得自己教得很不错。第二天她走经过厕所,听到小强很快速地喊道:3-5,3-5,3-5..www.6park.com top10 . 老婆 ,我想...”
“我看电视呢,别插嘴。”
“好勒!” www.6park.com top9 已经和王子过上幸福生活的白雪公主,是否会想起那又短又粗长着厚厚老茧的七十只手指? www.6park.com

top8 过儿,你对姑姑有没有哪里不满的地方?”“有,平。”“啊?你已经知道那件事了?” www.6park.com top7 中了双色球百万彩票的大奖,我老婆超激动的,跳着跳着就把电视机给撞翻砸坏了。一开始我还有点生气呢,不过转念一想也就淡定了:有什么大不了的……换个新的不就是了。——最后我就挑了个1米8的大波美少女。 www.6park.com top6 刘翔:“我12秒88.”,xx:“我,我十二秒。” www.6park.com top5 屌丝单恋女神8年,用尽全力都无法获得芳心。直到有一天女神无意中翻看了他的包包,立刻决定和他结婚。在残破漏雨的出租屋内,花烛明亮,女神娇羞的说:“老公,明天咱们就把肉灵芝卖了,然后买大别墅。 www.6park.com top4 屌丝:“孙悟空很傻很天真,他就是一只猴,永远不可能是人。他看守蟠桃园,7个仙女过来摘桃,他喊了一声定,这7个仙女都定这儿了,他竟然转身去摘桃了!可见猴就是猴啊!”女神:“要是你呢?”屌丝:“我得拿个篮子。 www.6park.com top3“少林寺的和尚手上都生茧子” www.6park.com top2 男生注定费纸,女生注定费电 www.6park.com top1 妻子问我:“好奇怪哦,今早陈伯怎么没有来呢?” “那是因为,昨晚孟姨来过了啊!”

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