ADMN 233

Assignment 2 Template

Assignment 2 Instructions

Assignment 2 is worth 15% of your final mark. It should be completed and submitted after you finish Chapter 7 in your textbook.

This assignment is divided into three parts, corresponding to the 3-x-3 writing process described in Unit 2 (Chapters 5 to 7) of your textbook. You will complete three activities in each part of this assignment.

Part 1: Prewriting (30 marks)
Activity A – Analyze a task
Activity B – Anticipate an audience’s needs
Activity C – Adapt your message to your audience and its needs

Part 2: Writing (30 marks)
Activity A – Research a topic and generate ideas
Activity B – Organize ideas into a coherent text structure
Activity C – Compose a first draft

Part 3: Revising (40 marks)
Activity A – Evaluate a text
Activity B – Organize a text
Activity C – Revise a text

General Instructions

The writing tasks you will complete in this assignment are based on real-world scenarios that describe a variety of situations.

1. Read every activity and scenario carefully in order to understand the problems that the characters encounter and the actions that they take.

2. Complete all three activities for each part in sequence.

Limit your answers to a maximum of one sentence per mark, unless otherwise instructed. For example, if a question is worth three marks, ensure that you write three complete sentences.

3. Decide what information is important for your reader to know and what is not. You may need to invent additional facts that you consider important to communicate to your reader.

4. Reorganize this information to communicate it to a reader in a clearer and more efficient way.

5. Integrate the lessons you have learned as you complete this assignment.

Review the following pages in the Welcome and Orientation section of this course Web site before you complete this assignment:

▪ Marking Guide

▪ Questions of Style

▪ Applying the 3-x-3 Writing Process

Plagiarism

Plagiarism is submitting or presenting someone else's work as your own. It includes copying words from an assignment you wrote in this course into a new assignment; copying your instructor’s comments and presenting them as your own; and copying headings, outlines, sentences, paragraphs, tables, and graphics without permission or citation.

Plagiarizing someone else's writing is not allowed at Athabasca University. For information about plagiarism and intellectual honesty, consult the following page from the Athabasca University Calendar: http://www.athabascau.ca/studserv/inthonesty.htm.

ADMN 233 markers use anti-plagiarism software. The consequences for plagiarism and academic misconduct are severe. If you are caught plagiarizing someone else’s text, you will obtain a zero on this assignment. A letter describing this offence will be appended to your student record. You risk being suspended or expelled from Athabasca University.

Part 1 Prewriting (Questions 1 to 11) 30 marks

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 5 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments.

Activity A – Analyze a task

Questions/Tasks

1. What is David’s primary purpose in sending a message to his reader? (Refer to page 95 in your textbook.) Support your answer with an explanation. (2 marks)

Primary purpose would be to inform the customer that the warranty isn’t being honoured because it is expired. The primary purpose for sending business messages are typically to inform and to persuade

2. What is the secondary purpose of David’s message? (Refer to pages 95 and 96 in your textbook.) Support your answer with an explanation. (2 marks)

A secondary purpose is to promote goodwill. David should advise that the local dealer would like to honour the customer’s claim but the car company will not.

3. Which channel (e.g., phone call, e-mail, or letter) is best suited to communicate this type of message? Explain your answer. Consult Figure 5.2 Choosing Communication Channels on page 97 in your textbook. (2 marks)

The channel that is best suited is face-to-face conversation. This is best when you need to deliver bad news.

Activity B – Anticipate an audience’s needs

Questions/Tasks

4. Who is (are) the primary reader(s) targeted by this memo? Refer to Figure 5.3 Asking the Right Questions to Profile Your Audience on page 98 in your textbook to provide an explanation. (1 mark)

The primary reader would be Jason Tucker, Chief Information Officer at Wascana Investments due to his position held at the organization and the nature of the memo.

5. Describe your professional relationship with your primary reader(s). Refer again to Figure 5.3 on page 98 of your textbook. (1 mark)

The professional relationship with my primary reader would be salesperson/customer.

6. Given your answer to question 5, what tone should your memo convey? Support your answer with examples. Refer to pages 98 and 99 in your textbook. (2 marks)

The memo should convey a positive tone. “Your accounting software will be specialized for your needs.”

7. In your opinion, how knowledgeable is (are) the primary reader(s) about the subject of the memo? Explain. Think about your readers’ knowledge of computer products, accounting systems, and information management prior to sending your memo. (2 marks)

I believe the primary reader would be knowledgeable about the subject of the memo. Jason’s background is in accounting and he has trained in network analyst.

8. Should you expect a negative response, a positive response, or a neutral response from your primary reader(s)? (2 marks)

I would expect a positive response from the primary reader. We are providing them with solutions to their problems with their current software.

9. Identify your secondary readers and describe their specific information needs. (3 marks)

The secondary readers would be Patricia Irving and Barbara Miller. They would require the terminology that would make them memo understandable and acceptable for them to be able to make a decision.

Activity C – Adapt your message to your audience and its needs

Questions/Tasks

10. What problems should you address in order to make the language of the above memo clearer? Select these from the Checklist for Adapting a Message to Its Audience on page 104 of the textbook. Be specific and support your answers. (3 marks)

Management needs to use short, familiar words. Failure to acquiesce should be replaced with Failure to comply. They should also focus on the readers benefits instead of “management’s attention” and “I believe”, they should use “you or your” to be more sincere, not manipulative or critical in tone. This also relates to expressing ideas positively rather than negatively.

11. Rewrite your manager’s memo. Think about how expressing yourself positively, courteously, simply, precisely, vigorously, and in a conversational tone will affect your readers’ responses. Refer to pages 101 to 104 in your textbook. (10 marks)

Date: Feb. 17, 2010
To: All Operating Personnel
From: Management
Subject: Poor Working Practices

A new list of mandatory rules and procedures has been posted outside the main doors in Shop A. All personnel are to follow these rules and procedures for your safety to prevent personal injury and damage to company equipment.
Failure to comply will result in termination.
MANAGEMENT

For Marker’s Use:

Part 1 Subtotal: /30

Part 2 Writing (Questions 12 to 19) 30 marks

Refer as needed to material in Chapters 6 and 7 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments.

Activity A – Research a topic and generate ideas

Questions/Tasks

12. Supply three specific examples of the kind of information Mary could gather using formal research methods. Refer to pages 112 to 113 in your textbook. Include the specific formal research methods you would use to obtain this information. (3 marks)

• Access electronically by searching the internet for local school board information that will be using these kits

• Investigate the primary source by go directly to the school board to get the Grade 6 teacher information and conduct interviews on how they would use the kits

• Search manually to see if schools have done any sort of environment awareness and the success of it

13. Supply three specific examples of the kind of information Mary could gather using informal research methods Refer to page 113 in your textbook. Include the specific informal research methods you would use to obtain this information. (3 marks)

• Look in files on past projects that were similar to provide more information

• Interview the teachers and get there feedback on what the awareness kits should include for the target audience to engage

• Conduct a survey to go home with students to gather information on the interest of parents and students participating in environmental awareness

Activity B – Organize ideas into a coherent text structure

Questions/Tasks

14. Help Gino organize the topics presented in Scenario 5. Create an alphanumeric or decimal outline for the human resources manual to organize this information logically (i.e., major title, major component, subpoints). Review outlining formats on pages 114 to 118 in your textbook, especially Figure 6.3 Two Outlining Formats on page 117. (8 marks)

Human Resources Manual

1. Hiring procedure

1. Employee recruitment and selection

2. Reference checks

1. Salaries, wages, and hours of work

1. Pay Scale

1. Salary reviews

2. Performance reviews

2. Hours of work

1. Maximum work hours per week for salaried staff

2. Maximum work hours per week for hourly staff

3. Overtime Pay

4. Holiday Pay

2.0 Medical, Dental, and Group Life insurance

2.1. Healthcare insurance

2.2. Group Life Insurance

2.2.1. Accidental death and dismemberment insurance

2.2.2 Long-term disability program

3.0 Employee Programs

3.1. Savings bond purchase program

3.2. Pension Plan

4.0 Leaves of absence

4.1. Vacation Leave

4.2. Sick Leave

4.3. Bereavement Leave

4.4. Administrative Leave

4.5. Jury Duty Leave

4.6. Unexcused Absences

4.7. Resignation

5.0 Policies and Procedures

5.1. Code of Conduct

5.1.1. Workplace Language

5.1.2. Dress and appearance

5.1.3. Personal Telephone Calls

5.1.4. Smoking in the workplace

5.1.5. Parking restrictions

5.2. Conflict of interest policy

5.3. Verbal abuse policy

5.4. Sexual harassment

5.5. Drugs and alcohol

5.6. Disciplinary policy and procedure

5.6.1. Dismissal/termination

5.6.2. Exit Interviews

15. Explain and support your reasons for organizing the outline as you did. Address each of the following elements of an outline: sequence, title, major components, and subpoints. (4 marks)

The title used is Human Resource Manual to define the main purpose of the outline. I used a decimal format as it shows how the ideas relate to one another. I then divided into five major components that was ranked in relevance of importance to the employees reading the outline. The subpoints were to list under the major components it relates too to move from the larger idea to smaller ideas within.

Activity C – Compose a first draft

Questions/Tasks

Refer to pages 121 to 129 in your textbook to complete the following tasks.

16. Clearly, Frida’s draft memo needs to be improved. Find two examples of long sentences that should be divided into shorter ones. Copy these sentences and then rewrite them, explaining how you can make each one clearer by shortening it. Clearly label your work under the headings of Original Sentence, Revised Sentence, and Explanation. Edit wordy expressions that are unnecessary or information that is off-topic. (6 marks)

Original Sentence
In preparation for the development of the marketing campaign for the Spring/Summer 2010 line, I would like to provide you with an overview of the orders we have placed for delivery in February 2010 to coincide with “Spring Break” purchases, which have traditionally provided a significant portion of our annual sales, second only to our “Back to School” events in the fall, although these events may not be as successful this year.

Revised Sentence

We are preparing for the marketing campaign for the Spring/Summer 2010 line. I would like to provide you with the overview of the orders we have placed for delivery in February 2010. After “Back to School” events, “Spring Break” purchases provide a significant portion of our annual sales.

Explanation

This is a run-on sentence. Reader comprehension drops off when a sentence becomes too long. Shorter sentences are more readable.

Original Sentence

There has been a problem with the placement of one of the orders, however, so we can’t guarantee the arrival of the order from the factory in Perth in time for Spring Break as it was misfiled.

Revised Sentence

We can’t guarantee the arrival of the Perth factory order in time for Spring Break as it was misfiled.

Explanation

The original sentence was fragmented and had misuse of the comma. The shorter sentence is more readable.

17. Copy one sentence from Scenario 6 that is written in the passive voice. Rewrite this sentence using the active voice. Clearly label the old and new sentences as Passive and Active. (2 marks)

Passive Sentence
We know that if we work together, it can be our most successful campaign yet.

Active Sentence

This will be our most successful campaign yet if we work together.

18. Copy one sentence from Scenario 6 that contains a misplaced modifier. Rewrite this sentence to clarify its meaning. Clearly label your sentences as Misplaced Modifier and Clearer Modifier. (2 marks)

Misplaced Modifier

As soon as this was discovered, we contacted the factory quickly to remedy this oversight in the morning.

Clear Modifier

We contacted the factory to remedy this oversight as soon as it was discovered.

19. Identify two problems in the following example from Scenario 6: “Not to mention the amazing embellishments that are sure to spark the interest of our well-healed clients: flowers, butterflies, crystals, and feathers.” (2 marks)

Two problems with the sentence is the misplaced modifier, “flowers, butterflies, crystals, and feathers” should be listed with “the amazing embellishments” and the sentence is too long.

For Marker’s Use:

Part 2 Subtotal: /30

Part 3 Revising (Questions 20 to 28) 40 marks

Refer as needed to Chapters 5, 6, and 7 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments. Maintain a “you” view throughout.

Activity A – Evaluate a text

Evaluate the purpose, tone, and organization of Walter’s letter. Who is the audience and what is the purpose of the letter? Does it maintain a “you” view?

20. What is Walter Bern’s specific purpose for writing to Mrs. Beaudoin? (1 mark)

The specific purpose for writing to Mrs. Beaudoin is to have her activate her BBP credit card and provide the benefits of the card.

21. In one sentence, comment on the tone of Walter’s letter. (1 mark)

The tone of Walter’s letter seems formal and pretentious, he is not being courteous by using expressions like “you must”.

22. In three sentences, comment on the content organization in Walter’s letter. (3 marks)

Walter’s content in the letter does not flow properly. He should have started with his purpose of the letter, activating the BBP card, and then followed with the benefits. He needs to reorganize his sentences to build coherence in the letter.

23. Provide two examples with supportive evidence to describe how the content of the letter is on topic. (4 marks)

The second paragraph: “But first, you must activate your BBP credit card….Earth’s Voyages Cruises”. This paragraph should be arranged close to the end of the letter. Before letting her know any other information, it gives the reader a feeling of forcefulness that she must sign up for the BBP program. The purpose of letter is to persuade the reader, not to request the action.

The third paragraph “If you accumulate 10,000 points… a cruise schedule that suits your needs”. This paragraph should be organized into a bullet list so the reader can follow easily and the information can be transferred effectively

Activity B – Organize a text

Assess the effectiveness of the letter’s content and organization.

24. Provide two examples of sentences that should be removed and justify your answer. (2 marks)

“Please call me if you have any questions and I will be glad to call you back” – this sentence demonstrates that the letter is not efficiently and well explain to the reader.

“Please consult the BBP brochure ………”- this sentence is duplicated throughout the letter (paragraph 3, 5 and 6).

25. Provide two examples where parts of this letter are missing or underdeveloped. (2 marks)

“Please call me if you have any questions” - Missing phone number or email

The letter should end with a positive note and self-promotion. For example, At Earth’s Voyages Cruises, our awesome cruise team will take care of your needs and ensure your satisfaction

26. Help Walter reorganize his letter by creating an alphanumeric outline (i.e., major title, major component, subpoints). (3 marks)

Title: Earth’s Voyages Boat Buyers Program (BBP)

I. Thanks/ acknowledge joining the cruise and the program

II. Introduce the program/service

A. Christmas special cruise, ship type

B. Cruise information

III. BBP program benefits

A. Rewards offer:

1. 100 BBP For joining up (completed the Christmas Caribbean cruise)

2. 50 points extra For signing a Friend or a colleague

3. Payment on board by using credit card – 10 points toward next cruise

B. Points accumulation on Future cruise:

1. 10,00 points – cruise the Mediterranean,

2. 5,000 points- Caribbean,

3. 2,000 points St. Lawrence, or Queen Charlotte Islands.

C. Discounts: Discounts on major airlines

IV. Action required, brochure information

A. Credit Card sign up-information, Call 1-800-Go-Go-BBP, specific date for action

V. Thank you and self-promotion (Deadline, specific date for action acquire)

VI. Enclosed

B. Brochure

C. Sales promotion

1. Super sales in summer 2009 vacation Travel

VII. Contact information

Activity C – Revise a text

27. Proofread paragraph 1 of Walter’s letter. Refer to the Checklist for Revising Messages on page 143 of the textbook. Identify four items that need revising. Describe the writing problems these examples demonstrate. Clearly label your sentences as Examples and Problems. (4 marks)

1. Problem: “Hi Mrs. Beaudoin!”- Should start the letter with warm welcome but keep the tone professional Example: Dear Mrs. Beaudoin:

2. Problem: “This Cruise will take you and your friends from Miami to Nassau in the Bahamas on the Maiden of the Sea, the newest cruise ship featured by Earth’s Voyages Cruises”- the sentence is too wordy and confused. This sentence is opening with filters and long lead-ins. Example: We are pleased to welcome you to our newest cruise ship the Maiden of the Sea from Miami, USA to Nassau, Bahamas.

3. Problem: “We are planning to give you, our valued customer, a special Christmas bonus under this program”- this sentence is unorganized. The prior and next sentences talked about the cruise. This sentence talks about the program. The sentences in one paragraph need to be continuous and flow smoothly.

4. Problem: “Your departure is January 19th, from Miami. The ship leaves dock at 5p.m” – The information about the cruise ship can be combined into one sentence to make it simple and precise. Example correct 3 &4: We are pleased to welcome you to our newest cruise ship the Maiden of the Sea from Miami, USA to Nassau, Bahamas. The ship will leave Miami at 5 p.m. on January 19th. Please allow yourself two hours to register and embark, prior to this departure time. By joining us on this cruise, you will be eligible for the special Christmas bonus program and receive an extra 100 BBP points.

28. Rewrite Walter’s letter to improve its effectiveness. Cultivate the “you” view and focus on the receiver’s needs. Write an effective version of Walter’s text (Refer to pages 99 and 100 in your textbook.)

Present an effective version of Walter’s text using your own words. Incorporate the analysis you previously completed in questions 20–27 as you follow the 3-x-3 process. Format this text as a professional letter by cultivating a “receiver focus.” (20 marks)

7 Rue Ste. Therese

Ville de Quebec, PQ

G2K 9K7

Dear Mrs. Beaudoin:

Thank you for joining our Boat Buyers Program (BBP) prior to your Christmas Caribbean Cruise. We are pleased to welcome you to our newest cruise ship the Maiden of the Sea from Miami, USA to Nassau, Bahamas. The ship will leave Miami at 5 p.m. on January 19th. Please allow yourself two hours to register and embark prior to this departure time. By joining us on this cruise, you will be eligible for the special Christmas bonus program and receive an extra 100 BBP points. Boat Buyer Program (BBP) is a points program that is offered by Earth’s Voyages Cruise. This program provides customers valuable rewards and point savings on future sea cruises. As part of our special Christmas Bonus program, on your next cruise plan with Earth’s Voyages Cruise, you will be rewarded with:

( A cruise in the Mediterranean - for 10,000 points accumulation

( A cruise in the Caribbean from any port in the United States – for 5,000 points accumulation

( A cruise on the St. Lawrence River from Montreal or Queen Charlotte Islands from Vancouver – for 2,000 points accumulation

( A discount on all major airlines from your home to a cruise port of departure (see brochure for details)

( 10 points for every dollar you spend on this trip

( 50 points for help on signing up a friend in the BBP program

In order to take advantage of this Christmas Caribbean Cruise, please call 1-800-Go-To-BBP to sign up before July 31st, 2009. At Earth’s Voyages Cruises, our awesome cruise team will take care of your needs and ensure your optimal satisfaction. Enclosed, please find a brochure explaining the details of the BBP program along with information about BBP card rewards. Look for super sales in our summer 2009 Vacation Travel Destination to Alaska section. You can contact me through my email at Walterbern@Earthvoyage.com or my phone at 1-555-555-5555 for any further information.

Sincerely,

Walter Bern
Public Relations Representative

For Marker’s Use:

Part 3 Subtotal: /40

Total Assignment: /100%