ADMN 233

Assignment 3

Part 1 Routine E-Mail Messages and Memos 25 marks (Questions 1 and 2)

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 8. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. Include examples to support your answers.

Activity A – Routine memo

Read the following scenario and respond to the question that follows.

Scenario 1: Performance Assessment

Judith Halls, Manager of Human Resources at The Maritime Fish Packing Cooperative, wrote the following first draft of a reply memo.

| The Maritime Fish Packing Cooperative |
|Interoffice Memo |
| |
|Date: December 4, 2009 |
| |
|To: Michael Foreman, President |
|The Maritime Fish Packing Cooperative |
| |
|From: Judith Halls, Manager, Human Resources |
| |
|Subject: IMPROVEMENTS |
|As you already know, the Cooperative’s workers’ representative is very annoyed. According to her, our employee performance review technique has become |
|a real problem in our institution. I believe that Sharon Wong also contacted you after our last meeting to find a solution to this problem. |
|I received many e-mails since our last meeting from mad employees who also felt we had to improve our methods of assessing employee performance. I |
|understand that some employees think they are poorly reviewed and denied the opportunity to advance, especially women. I believe that we as managers |
|don’t seem to learn from the review process and that this creates a poor working environment. |
|Recently, I reviewed Jane Wosno‘s promotion request only to realize that the promotion committee overlooked her sound management experience and focused|
|rather on her weaker interpersonal skills. This example highlights the fact that managers seem to ignore what our employees are capable of and what |
|they accomplish on a daily basis. |
|I think that one area where we have been especially weak is in discussing employees’ performance in face-to-face meetings between management and |
|employees. I feel that the annual review process also creates tension because it is linked to salary bonuses. The present system of assessing employees|
|is based on reacting to problems when they occur. We should be training employees to face and deal with problems. |
|I believe that the Cooperative could really benefit from better job assessment procedures. I’d like to call a meeting of the Cooperative’s Council to |
|discuss this matter. I’ve arranged for us to meet in two weeks after the scheduled management meeting. I hope that you will attend this meeting. |
|Last but not least, if you would like to invite others, please tell me their names so that I can send them copies of this memo as well. |

Question/Task 10 marks

1. Carefully review Judith’s draft memo. Refer to Figure 8.3 Hard-Copy Memo That Responds to Request on page 163 in your textbook as an example of good general organization. Do not refer to it for specific wording.

Help Judith improve her writing techniques:

• Rewrite the content of this memo after rethinking the memo’s purpose. • Follow a direct sentence structure. • Focus on the principal action: calling a meeting. • Focus less on her and more on the reader. • Clarify the subject line. • Clarify the actions that the reader of this memo should take. • Shorten the entire memo so that it does not waste a reader’s time. • Follow rules of parallelism to create sentences with identical structures. • Develop paragraphs that outline a single theme in the first sentence and develop that theme in subsequent sentences. • Use graphic highlighting where relevant to improve your text’s readability.

The Maritime Fish Packing Cooperative
Interoffice Memo

Date: December 4, 2009

To: Michael Foreman, President

From: Judith Halls, Human Resources Manager

Subject: MEETING ON EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE MANAGEMENT PLAN

As a follow-up to our last meeting, I am calling a meeting of the Cooperative’s Council on current employee performance management. The Cooperative workers’ representative has submitted a formal request to convene such a meeting to resolve issues with the present staff performance assessment procedures.

Up for discussion will be the following topics:

Issues with current performance assessment plan:

- Link between performance appraisals and year-end bonuses

- Opportunities for promotion for women from within the organization

- Employee morale and goodwill

Proposed changes to performance management plan:

- Re-align incentives with employee performance

- Cultivate leadership potential of non-management staff

- Establish employee training and development programs

I am confident the Cooperative will benefit from more standardized job assessment procedures for staff moving forward. The Council meeting will be December 19, 10:00am to 1:00pm, at Conference room 102A.

Please confirm your attendance by December 17.

Activity B – Routine e-mail

Read the following scenario and respond to the question that follows.

Scenario 2: Personal Web Pages

You are the Webmaster in the Information Services Centre at Borealis College in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. Your office is located in the Computer Science Building, Office 6, Annex 5. Your phone number is 1-867-551-2343, ext. 123, and your e-mail address is webmaster@borealisc.ca.

At a recent department meeting, College Vice-President Sheila Dene complained about students, staff, and faculty posting personal Web pages on the College’s server. She insisted that all Web content be subject to your review and approval.

Ms. Dene asked you to monitor all personal Web sites on College servers and to shut down any site that is not directly related to students’ learning needs.

Your vice-president fears that individuals who have not received authorization to post information online could publish unsavoury content that could undermine the institution’s credibility and reputation. The College could be held liable if someone complained about Web site content on the College’s servers.

You are to review all content published online and shut down personal Web sites. From now on, all individuals using the College’s server will have to fill out a form explaining the educational nature of their site and describing its objectives and content.

Question/Task 15 marks

2. Write an e-mail to all Borealis College students, staff, and faculty regarding the new procedures. Warn all Web authors whose Internet sites are presently affected by this measure that you will review all personal Web sites to assess new College criteria for online content. Inform future Web site writers that they must submit a proposal to you, the College Webmaster, for approval. This proposal must outline the Web site’s purpose, describe its content, and include information about its potential readers.

The situation you are dealing with is fictional; use your imagination to complete this task. Refer to the Checklist for Writing Routine E-mail Messages and Memos on pages 173 and 174 in your textbook and use the following details to guide you:

Task Details

Your task: Write an e-mail memo Your readers: College staff, students, and faculty Your institution: Borealis College Your title: College Webmaster Text purpose: To inform and warn about consequences Text style: Formal Text length: 3 paragraphs Text format: Memo

Use the following memo format and include your name, title, and the name of your institution. Use today’s date. Summarize the central idea you wish to communicate in your subject line.

Date: To: From: Subject:

Select relevant information from Scenario 2 to plan your e-mail.

Begin each paragraph with a central idea and develop each idea in subsequent sentences. Write two or three sentences per paragraph.

• Describe the purpose of your e-mail and explain the problem your college is facing. • Announce the new procedures that Web authors will have to follow. • Include possible consequences for overlooking these new measures. • Provide contact information so that your readers can reach you if they wish to discuss with you the new procedures for publishing information on Borealis College’s Web sites.

Date: September 22, 2011

To: Everyone

From: Webmaster

Subject: New Procedures for Posting Online Content on College Servers

Effective immediately, all web posting on Borealis College servers will be subject to the approval of the college Webmaster. The new policy will be retroactive to November 01, 2010 and will apply to all content uploaded over the past twelve months.

This policy has been approved by the College Board of Governors to safeguard the integrity and the reputation of the college. The new rule will also help minimize any potential liability posed by unauthorized content on College servers.

From now on, all individuals using the College servers must fill out a form explaining the educational nature of their site. Website writers must submit a proposal to the Webmaster, outlining the sites’ purpose, content, and potential readers. The proposal must also show a direct relation to student learning needs.

The college will start monitoring all personal websites on College servers to ensure they comply with the new rule. Any site that fails to meet the new rules will be shut down immediately.

Call IT department for all enquiries about the new rule.

Webmaster
Information Services Centre
Computer Science Building, # 6, Annex 5
22 Borealis College Road
5250 49 Avenue, Yellowknife, NWT
(867)-551-2343, ext 123 webmaster@borealisc.ca. Part 2 Routine Letters and Goodwill Messages 25 marks (Questions 3 to 8)

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 9. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. Include examples to highlight your comments.

Activity A – Routine letter

Read the following scenario, and respond to the five questions that follow.

Scenario 3: Student Letters

You have been hired by your local business promotion bureau to help public relations representatives in your community improve their writing. The lesson you organized last week focused on writing direct request and response letters.

You selected work from three students to highlight problems that need to be corrected to make their letters more direct and effective. You plan to use the following three examples in your next lesson.

Example of a letter opening

Example of a letter body

Example of a letter body:

Example of a letter closing

Questions/Tasks 10 marks total

3. What advice would you give Gordon about his letter opening to make it clear, concise, and to the point? Review relevant advice on page 192 in your textbook. You may also consult page 190 to examine how to write the opening for an order letter. (2 marks)

- Remove the beginning two sentences; the information contained in them can be captured by the address and closing sections. Also, remove the part about his manager asking him to do something; it is redundant data that the seller does not need to know.

- Indicate amount of money enclosed. Also, Gordon could use a graphical way to itemize the order items, figures, etc.

4. What advice would you give Samantha about her letter body to make it clear, concise, and to the point? Refer to the Checklist for Writing Direct Requests on pages 194 and 196 in your textbook. (2 marks)

- Open by stating the main idea: although Samantha paid for a product online, she did not receive the item up to now. This is the main point and should be emphasized at the beginning of the letter.

- Explain and justify her request: even though the product costs $20 more now than it did a year ago, she should justify why she should get the current product for the price she paid last year.

5. What advice would you give Luigi about his letter closing to make it clear, concise, and to the point? Review relevant advice on pages 200 and 201 in your textbook. (2 marks)

- Luigi needs to close his letter positively and objectively using a sensitive language that is not negative.

- For customer retention and loyalty, Luigi should keep the tone of his letter positive or neutral.

6. Rewrite Gordon’s letter opening to improve its style and organization. (2 marks)

Mountain Spin Bicycles
222 Bike Road
Whistler, B V9A 3S9

Mr. John Doe
Xxx Drive
Edmonton, AB T59 3L9

Dear Mr. Doe:

Please ship the following items by Express courier to Mountain Spin Bicycles:

1. 50 Titan 2 lightweight bike helmets at $35/unit (product # AAA99C9L9)

2. 25 Titanium bicycle pumps at $25/unit (product # BBB88A6T6)

I am enclosing a cheque of $2,494 to cover the cost of the products and GST. Please invoice us for any other expenses that may arise.

Gordon Biscayne
Assistant Manager

7. Rewrite Luigi’s letter closing to improve its style and organization. (2 marks)

We understand your frustration and can fully empathise with your situation. Please know that we went beyond the norm in order to meet your requirements. We would still like to invite you to visit our hardware store for free advice on your upcoming house renovation.

Please call me at (222) 222-2222 at your soonest convenience to confirm this.

Activity B – Goodwill letter

Read the following scenario and respond to the question that follows. Refer to the Checklist for Writing Goodwill Messages on pages 205 and 206 in your textbook.

Scenario 4: CARING CANADA

You are the Marketing Manager of an international charity based in Toronto, Ontario. CARING CANADA is a nonprofit organization helping children in less developed countries obtain food, clothing, shelter, and basic education. The organization invites citizens to sponsor individual children with monthly donations. Your charity’s main fundraising activity takes place during the pre-Christmas season.

As part of its Christmas drive to collect donations, CARING mailed an attractive brochure to Canadian homeowners featuring high-quality products at discount prices. The brochure featured chocolates from renowned Canadian chocolate maker Moose Delights. This company produces chocolate from cocoa grown on plantations sponsored by CARING; there is no child labour involved. For every package of Moose Delights bought by CARING’s customers, $2 is donated to the Christmas charity program. By Christmas, Moose Delights had collected $250,000.

Question/Task 15 marks

8. On behalf of CARING CANADA, write a goodwill letter to thank the Director of Moose Delights for the company’s generous support. Be clear, concise, and to the point. Refer to the following Task Details as a guide:

Task Details

Your task: Write a goodwill letter Your reader: Mrs. Joan Sweets, General Director, Moose Delights 1st Street, Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan S4S 2V3 Your institution: CARING CANADA Your title: Marketing Manager Text purpose: To give thanks Text style: Informal, personal Text length: 4 paragraphs Text format: Company heading and address at top of letter

Begin your letter by reproducing your company’s letterhead.

CARING CANADA 100 Bay Street, Suite 222 Toronto, Ontario, Canada

• Use today’s date.

• Address your letter to your reader; include her name and title, and the name and address of the institution she directs.

• Select relevant information from Scenario 4 to plan your letter.

• Adopt a “you” view.

• Refer to the checklist for writing goodwill messages on pages 205 and 206 in your textbook.

• Begin each paragraph with a central idea and develop the idea in subsequent sentences.

• Write two or three sentences per paragraph.

• Summarize the central idea you wish to communicate to your reader by praising the success of her company’s initiative.

• Spotlight Mrs. Sweets’ contribution as a leader among private company owners.

• Describe in personal terms how Moose Delights contributes to the CARING CANADA Christmas fund drive and helps children in less developed countries.

Conclude with compliments and thanks. Close with your name and include your company title.

CARING CANADA 100 Bay Street, Suite 222
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

November 23, 2009

Mrs. Joan Sweets
General Director
Moose Delights
1st Street,
Moose Jaw, SK S4S 2V3

Dear Mr. Schneider:

Thank you for your recent generous gift of $250,000 to Caring Canada. Your commitment to help poor children in less developed countries obtain food, clothing, shelter and basic education is really commendable. With the funds you raised, we will be able to sponsor one thousand children for the coming three years.

Our goal this year was to raise one million dollars by Christmas. Thanks to your generosity, we have exceeded that target in the middle of November!

It is the selfless work and generosity of great leaders like that help make our community one of the best places to live in the world. Our heartfelt gratitude goes to you and your team at Moose Delights, for giving the gift of food, shelter and education to less fortunate children around the world.

Sincerely,

Jake Sawyer
Marketing Manager

Part 3 Persuasive and Sales Messages 25 marks (Questions 9 to 11)

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 10. Read the instructions below carefully, and answer all questions clearly and concisely.

Persuasive message

Read the following scenario, and respond to the three questions that follow.

Scenario 5: Inviting a Guest Speaker

The Saskatoon Horticultural Club has decided to invite a guest speaker to one of its meetings. The club president, Brian Morgan, wrote the following letter inviting Alan Schneider to travel to Saskatoon in order to address club members.

|August 23, 2009 |
| |
| |
|Mr. Alan Schneider |
|Southern Greenhouses |
|21 Fairford Street North |
|Moose Jaw, SK S6X 2C4 |
|Dear Mr. Schneider: |
|As a successful Saskatchewan businessman, you know it is important to support worthy causes within our province. The Saskatoon |
|Horticultural Club (SHC) is just such a cause and we know a man of your reputation will want to help us out. |
|We have heard of your reputation for growing exceptionally large pumpkins and want you to come speak to us at our regularly |
|scheduled meeting in October. This will be a great opportunity for all of us to swap stories and learn from each other. |
|We normally invite speakers who live closer to Saskatoon, but the drive is not too bad, so we thought you might be willing to |
|make the trip. We could pay for gas if you like. |
|Please let me know ASAP so we can make plans for a fun time. |
|Sincerely, |
|Brian C. Morgan |
|President, SHC |

Questions/Tasks

9. Brian Morgan wrote a highly ineffective persuasive message. His letter contains problems that need to be corrected in order to make it more effective.

List five weaknesses that appear in this letter. Your analysis should incorporate concepts and strategies described on pages 216 to 221 in your textbook and summarized in Figure 10.1 Four-Part Indirect Pattern for Sales or Persuasion on page 218. (5 marks)

- Weakness # 1 – letter does not pique the reader’s interest with enough praise. - Weakness # 2 - no note of indirect benefit. Reader is not made aware of the indirect benefit of making the speech - Weakness # 3 – no meaningful direct benefit to be had. - Weakness # 4 – the letter does not motivate action. It should appeal to emotion and therefore move the reader to act. - Weakness # 5 – the letter does not reduce resistance.

10. Suggest five changes that Brian needs to make to improve his letter’s persuasiveness. Support your explanation by referring to components of a persuasive message outlined in your textbook. (5 marks)

- Although it is a worthy cause, the writer is not convincing to make it worthy enough to warrant the trip to make the speech. Pique the reader’s interest with praise and appeal to his/her vanity. - Reader is not made aware of the indirect benefit of making the speech. If this is made clear in the letter, the reader may be persuaded to make the tip and give the speech. - Although there is a direct benefit (gas reimbursement), it is discounted and only given as an option. Add a token of appreciation, an honorarium of some sort to make it more appealing. - It should appeal to emotion and therefore move the reader to act. Make an emotional appeal to the reader’s emotions. - The letter does not give enough justification to move beyond the resistance to make the trip for a mere speech with no direct or indirect benefit. Give compelling reasons to make the trip.

11. Once you have identified weaknesses in Brian’s letter, rewrite it in order to make the message more effective and persuasive. (15 marks)

▪ Apply the suggestions you made in the previous question.

▪ Ensure that you include relevant components of a persuasive message,

▪ Write a persuasive favour request following an indirect pattern.

August 23, 2009

Mr. Alan Schneider
Southern Greenhouses
21 Fairford Street North
Moose Jaw, SK S6X 2C4

Dear Mr. Schneider:

Legend of your 1,200 pound winning pumpkin from last year’s national completion has reached many in our community. We have heard of your reputation for growing unusual and exceptionally large pumpkins and would be delighted to have you speak to our members at our upcoming gala in October.

The Saskatoon Horticultural Club (SHC) is an award-wining club that contributes to many local charitable events in Saskatchewan. During last month’s general member meeting, there was a unanimous decision to approach you as a potential speaker for our upcoming dinner gala at the Yorkshire in Saskatoon. This event will raise money for many local charities in the city. As a successful Saskatchewan businessman, you know it is important to support worthy causes within our province.

We will be providing the airfare and hotel so that you will need to worry about lodging. There is will also be a small gift and honorarium for your kind speech at the gala. It would be a pleasure to meet you and hear you discuss horticulture as well as your new book on green farming in the Prairies.

We look forward to meeting with you soon. Please call me at (306) 222 – 1922 to make arrangements.

Sincerely,

Brian C. Morgan
President, SHC

Part 4 Negative Messages (Question 12) 25 marks

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 11, in particular to techniques for delivering bad news to a reader sensitively. Read the instructions below carefully, and answer the question clearly and concisely.

Scenario 6: Lawnmower Warranty

Tara Lang works as the customer service manager for Motor-Mates. The company manufactures a variety of gasoline-powered tools (e.g., weed trimmers, chain saws, and lawnmowers) for commercial landscaping customers. Motor-Mates offers an extensive and generous warranty plan for all its products. However, the warranty requires that regular maintenance be performed by a qualified technician. Improper maintenance procedures void the warranty.

Recently, an important and long-time customer, ABC Landscaping, returned a malfunctioning lawnmower that was still under warranty. This company demanded an immediate replacement or a refund of the $3,500 purchase price. Upon inspecting the lawnmower, however, a Motor-Mates technician found that the lawnmower engine had been damaged by an unqualified technician.

Company policy clearly states that improper service voids equipment warranties and no exception will be made in this case. However, it may be possible to repair the engine or accept the damaged lawnmower as partial credit toward a new model.

Question/Task 25 marks

12. Refer to the Checklist for Delivering Bad News to Customers on page 258 in the textbook to help Tara write an effective letter to Mr. David Jensen, General Manager of ABC Landscaping.

• Explain why Motor-Mates will be unable to honour the customer’s request to replace the lawnmower or refund the full purchase price.

• Do your best to retain this customer’s goodwill to ensure that ABC Landscaping will consider purchasing your lawnmowers in the future.

• Provide a compromise solution. For example, consider offering to repair the damaged engine or accept the damaged lawnmower as partial credit for a new model.

• Write one or two sentences in the passive voice to deliver bad news to your reader. Keep writing in the active voice in all other sentences.

Nov 23, 2009

Mr. Jason Batemen
ABC Landscaping
21 Fairford Street North
Toronto ON M5N 3L0

Dear Mr. Bateman:

Thank you for your frank letter of November 10, 2011. We at Motor-Mates are grateful for your long patronage and acknowledge the long-standing business relationship between us.

We also take a great pride in the quality of the products we manufacture. It is the main reason why we offer an extensive and overly generous warranty plan for all our products. The warranty grantees that all service to the product will be honour provided scheduled maintenance is performed by a certified AAA technician.

We have investigated your claim for full refund of the damaged lawnmower and reached the conclusion that the terms of the warranty have been breached. On September 10, ABC Landscaping contracted, Duffy Travis, an uncertified technician to work on the damaged lawnmower. This is a breach of article 1 of the warranty provision that a qualified technician maintain the product under warranty.

In appreciation of your valuable business, we offer to repair the damaged lawnmower at no cost to you. Alternatively, you may claim a partial credit of 45% of the price of a new mower.

We look forward to seeing you at our upcoming product fair in Maryland. Please me at (416) 222 -1002 to discuss the terms of the repair.

Sincerely,

Tara Lang
Customer Service Manager

-----------------------
Gordon’s text. Refer to pages 190 and 192 in your textbook.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Gordon Biscayne, the assistant manager of Mountain Spin, a bicycle store in Whistler, British Columbia. My manager asked me to send you an order for 50 Titan 2 lightweight bike helmets we saw advertised at $35 a unit in the June 2009 edition of Outdoors Cycling. Please rush these to us by express courier along with 25 Titanium bicycle pumps at $25 a unit. Enclosed is our cheque covering these expenses. Thanks, Gordon

Samantha’s text. Refer to the checklist on pages 194 to 196 of your textbook.

Last August, I enclosed a certified cheque for $65 for one midsize black cotton skirt. This skirt is currently advertised at $85 on page 56 in the Summer catalogue. I placed an order to you online but have since lost the confirmation number for my purchase. The reference number in your summer catalogue was #2345. I really want to buy this dress, even though it is now Christmas. I’d really like to know what happened.

Luigi’s text. Refer to pages 200 and 201 of your textbook.

How can you accuse us of not attending to clients’ needs when we go out of our way to please you? I was planning to ask you to visit our hardware store to obtain advice on renovating your house, but now you can just forget it. Don’t worry, we’ll find more honest customers than you to attend to!!!