Autonomy and connectedness relates to a person who wants to make a connection and to be with another person at all times(203). However, the person still values their individuality and independence. So there is a desire not to feel tied down at the moment in time. According to Bekker and Assen “For the men in their study, particularly relationships emphasizing social comparison plays an important role, whereas for women relationships characterized by intimacy and reliable alliance were important (534). Furthermore, showing how in RD the gender differences can play a role in how the relationship moves along and how easch individual identifies what is important. If we look at the book's example if Jeff and Elenor we can see how this plays out.