In our “Courageous Faith” readings this week I most associate with Sampson but not because of his weakness but his arrogance (pride). Even though Sampson was a Nazarite, he forgot his strict vow. Not only his vow but throughout the scriptures, his pride comes through over and over. Judges 14: 2 says, “…now get her for me as my wife.” Judges 14:6 says, “The Spirit of the Lord came upon him in power so that he tore the lion apart with his bare hands as he might have torn a young goat. But he told neither his father nor his mother what he had done.” The reason I associate with Sampson is from 1997-2003 I worked for Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) as a medical secretary. I had 4 prisons, 4400 beds and 29 clerks I supervised. When I first got the position, everyone kept talking about what a great mission field I was going into but my father, who also worked for TDCJ, kept telling me be careful who you tell you’re a Christian. The inmates will use that to trip you up and other employees will see it as a sign of weakness. You have to let your actions speak louder than your words but I would forget my walk with God the minute the gate shut behind me. I thought I could leave my salvation in the parking lot and pick it up on the way back out.
In reading Sampson’s story I kept seeing pride and arrogance. From the Philistine wife, to the lion to even Delilah, Sampson thought he was all that. I felt the same way working in prison. I had the power over the inmates to tell them when they could or could not do something, when they could be seen by a practitioner and even had the power to write cases when I thought there was an infraction.
Working in an all-male prison means the females are seen as goddesses. We were worshiped and treated with respect from the inmates but that goes to your head. In 2003 my position was cut due to budget cutbacks and I found myself at a loss for what to do. I slowly began to realize how prideful I had been and began asking God for forgiveness. It took a year for me to get back to me, without the lofty ideas, and back to the loving, caring and compassionate person I was before. God has reworked my heart and I’m back to the person everyone knew before that job. Thanks be to God!