Alvaro M. Alegre
Professor Russell Green
Composition II

Free-range parenting: What is so bad about it?

Even though the fear of kidnapping when kids are left alone is present on many parents the benefits of allowing children to work and play independently builds confidence and skills. Kids take risks naturally (climbing to the top of a monkey bar, jumping out of the stairs) despite the potential of failure because they want to grasp new skills and becoming more mature and responsible of their own actions.
When I was a kid growing up in Peru I remember every single kid in my neighborhood would be at the park jumping and running around. I even remember going with my buddies to the local store that was about 10 block away of our houses. It is just the way you grew up over there. Yes, you see some parents at the park watching out for their kids too but that was usually to the facts that the kids were too small or have no older siblings to watch for them. That is why when I move to the suburbs of Virginia, at the age of 17, surprised me to see all the parks and streets deserted, no kids playing ball or running around.
When I start doing my research for this project I learned a lot about the way people see this “free-range” parenting. I think that just putting labels it’s problematic, like Ruth Paris, a professor at Boston University’s School of Social Work, said “generally speaking, parents should make decisions based on their family dynamics, not because they subscribe to an ideology”. What children need is a balance between permissiveness to explore the world and limits to contain it. “We know it is a continuum. You want to be in the middle, depending on the parents, the kids, the parent’s style and needs” she says.
When I had my daughters, my wife and I talk about the idea of letting them go to the park, which is about one block from our house, to play. Of course when they get old enough. My oldest is 6 years old now and she regularly goes to the backyard and plays with some neighbor kids who like to come and play there. We are not always there watching but I think we are close enough. The first couple of times we felt nervous and anxious, probably the same feeling Danielle and Alexander Meitiv had when they let their 10 year old son and 6 year old daughter walk home from a neighborhood park in Silver Spring, Maryland. But their effort to allow their kids to explore the world on their own has resulted in clashes with the police and Child Protective Services (CPS). After their kids were pick up by the police halfway through a mile home walk, the parents were found responsible for “unsubstantiated” neglect. In April of 2015, were spotted alone again, that time the police ended up holding them for more than 6 hours. In May, the Meitivs announced plans to file a lawsuit against authorities. “We must ask ourselves how we reached the point where a parent’s biggest fear is that government officials will literally seize our children off the streets as they walk in our neighborhoods,” their attorney said in a statement. Critics says that now the kids are too exposed and pervert will just be waiting for them to show at the park all alone.
The problem with this fear of stranger danger is that it is statically unfounded. According for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, of nearly 75 million children in the United States, an estimated of 115 of them will be victims of the kind of kidnapping you read about in the news. Far more missing children run away from home or are abducted by family member or acquaintances. But in this age of parents who run behind their kids all the time, fears often trumps facts.
The most important reason to let your kids work and play independently is because it builds confidence and skills because they are natural risk takers, they want to learn by experimenting on their own. The potential of failure exist but the vast majority of the time, they win, in that they conquer the new task with minimal consequences. For this reason, some experts are calling for a paradigm shift in modern parenting where we strive to keep children as safe as necessary, rather than as safe as possible.

References * Jones S. Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts With Worry). Journal Of Family Psychotherapy. July 2013:24(3):261-264. * George D, Schulte B. 'Free-range' flap in Maryland fans flames of national debate on parenting. The Washington Post [serial online]. 2015. * Imig A. Parenting and hypocrisy: From Free Range kid to Helicopter Mom?. The Washington Post [serial online]. 2015. * Pimentel D. CRIMINAL CHILD NEGLECT AND THE "FREE RANGE KID": IS OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTING THE NEW STANDARD OF CARE?. Utah Law Review [serial online]. April 2012;2012(2):947-999. * Van Ogtrop, K. (2015). Free-Range Parenting 2.0. Time, 185(17), 62. * Alter, C. (2015). ‘Free Range Parenting’ Too Often Leads to Child Neglect Investigations, Report Finds. Time.Com, N.PAG.