Conflict Resolution Paper

Workplace romance is an issue in companies around the world. With full-time employees working forty or more hours each week, they tend to spend more time with their co-workers than with friends and family. This can lead to co-workers wanting to get to know each other as well as dating each other. An example of this in my experience was when I was an assistant manager at a retail store. The store manager at the time had started dating one of her subordinate associates. Rumors soon started around the store that the store manager was dating a certain associate. Other associates started to notice this particular associate would receive preferred shifts on a consistent basis. He would also be not on the schedule whenever the store manager was scheduled off. One day I was going from the sales floor to the stock room to check if we had a different size in stock for a customer. Once I walked in the stock room, I saw the two kissing. The stock room was a very large room. Once I realized what was going on, I stayed quiet and walked out within a few seconds. The two did not see me or notice anyone was even in the stock room. At this point, I contemplated having a talk with the store manager, as well as taking the issue straight to the district manager. I did not know exactly what to do because taking the issue to the district manager would be going behind my store manager’s back. I felt doing that could ruin our working relationship. Fortunately, a few weeks later the associate decided to quit. I did not have to take any steps such as having a talk with the store manager or district manager. What exactly is a workplace romance? Workplace romances are relationships between people working together which are characterized by sexual attraction whether or not they are made known to others through the participants’ behavior (Paul/Townsend, 1998). Why would two employees decide to pursue a workplace romance with so many risks involved? There are four motives:
-Love Motive. This is labeled true love and involves two people who become sincerely involved. Their interest is long-term and may lead to a permanent relationship.
-Ego Motive. The relationship is called a fling and is characterized by a search for personal rewards such as excitement, adventure, or sexual experiences.
-Job Motive. The relationship is considered utilitarian because one of the members is pursuing work-related benefits such as promotions, pay raises or job security.
-Power Motive. These motives are also utilitarian and may involve off the job as well as on the job payoffs. One or both members may enhance power and visibility through the relationship (Paul/Townsend, 1998).
These motives will include why co-workers decide to start an ongoing workplace romance. Couples that work together will most likely try to be discreet and keep the relationship out of the company eye. However, this can be very hard to consistently do. When things in the relationship are going well, couples may want to celebrate with each other. This can happen at work in an inappropriate way. Also, when couples are in arguments/fights with each other, it may be hard for them to put it aside and work together.
As much as we believe in magic, reality can be harsh. Couples fight, it is part of life. When spouses work for the same company, the normal battles of relationships spill over into the workplace. What starts as an argument about breakfast cereal could end up costing a major account, or a job (McClain/Romaine). So how do these romances start with people working together? A study from Quinn (1977) states:
Three types of proximity that are relevant to romances between co-workers, including (a) on-going geographical proximity, (b) proximity as the result of on-going work requirements, and (c) occasional proximity. Quinn’s data indicate that on-going geographical proximity, which is based on the physical positioning of employees’ work stations, fostered the initiation of 63 percent of the reported workplace romances in his study. Likewise, various work requirements such as training, consulting, supervising, and business trips were a factor in the development of 77 percent of the reported romances. Occasional or temporary proximity, such as meeting in an elevator, was also identified as a factor leading to workplace (Quinn, 1977).
Propinquity is especially operative when co-workers are required to spend long hours together on the job. Such close physical proximity and longer working hours can lead to an increase in the frequency of social interactions between co-workers who are engaged in similar work tasks, thereby increasing the likelihood of interpersonal attraction (Byrne and Neuman, 1992). There are numerous risks associated with workplace romance, for the employees and the company.
Essentially it is their personal business, but many times the activities of an employee's private life affects their professional life and the organization in which they work. Dating a fellow worker is the employee's business until it affects the workplace. At that point it also becomes the employer's business. Employers are concerned about sexual harassment charges and the potential for huge penalties, settlements, and legal fees. According to Powers, complainants lose up to 60% of all sexual harassment cases, with 90% settled before going to trial (1999: 17). However, an even larger expense to employers is the loss of valuable employees who are unhappy working alongside someone who is receiving preferential treatment because of an office relationship (Solomon, 1998). Employees also leave when they opt to continue their relationship with their co-worker or supervisor at a company that prohibits dating. Research reported in Management Today asserts that four of ten employees will eventually marry someone from their workplace (1999: v2p8) (Schaefer and Tudor, 2001). Now that we realize why and how workplace romance begins, what can we do to manage it? Can workplace romances be managed in a way where companies do not lose employees but also where employees can keep their personal lives separate and not have their relationships affect the workplace? To be able to effectively manage workplace romance and the conflict that it may cause may take a few different policies. Most companies have policies on workplace relationships. An example, having a superior and a subordinate that are dating sign a “love contract.” This will help to protect the company against any potential sexual harassment in the event the workplace relationship ends. Schaefer and Tudor state:
Develop a written policy requiring employees to disclose the start and termination of a relationship if it involves a subordinate and supervisor or another employee in a position to have influence over that employee's career. Disclosure serves two purposes. First, it confirms that the relationship is actually consensual, which can offer protection against future claims of quid pro quo sexual harassment in which a supervisor and subordinate are involved. For example, a subordinate cannot later claim that the relationship was forced through threats of termination, demotion, or other adverse employment decisions. Secondly, it gives managers and Human Resources an opportunity to avoid charges of favoritism by creating a new reporting relationship or by transferring or reassigning one of the employees. The end of a relationship is also critical. The potential for harassment exists if only one employee wants to continue the romance. Uninformed managers might observe behavior of the rejected partner aimed at their former partner and think it appropriate because the two employees are thought to be dating. However, if management is informed of the relationship's demise, they can be alerted to any harassing behavior and stop it before the employee involved makes any charges (Schaefer and Tudor, 2001). On the other hand, employees who may become attracted to each other should take these steps:
-Start by considering the end. Where could this relationship lead, and what are its possible consequences? Can both of you accept them?
-Remove yourself from a position of authority over the person whom you are dating. You might need to transfer to another job within your company or change employers. Sometimes such transfers are easier for the employee, though initiating the transfer yourself could lead to later accusations of harassment. It might not seem fair, but someone's career trajectory will need to change or both could easily fade to nothing.
-Conduct yourselves with discretion, but don't for a moment let yourself be deluded into believing that no one else knows about your relationship. Someone does, if not everyone (McClain and Romaine).
If employees take these steps, they will be able to make a more informed decision as well as realize the potential consequences of their actions. However, it will take the efforts of both the companies and employees to not allow workplace romances to become conflict situations.
In my situation at my previous employer, had the other employee not decide to quit, I would have had a difficult choice to make. It would be recommended to have a talk with the store manager first to let her know how the other employees felt. It would also be important to see how she would handle the situation after realizing the other employees knew. If she did nothing and continued the workplace relationship, then the conflict would need to be reported to either Human Resources or the District Manager. However, if nothing had been done at all, the relationship may have continued. If it did continue, this may have created further problems at the retail store.
This assignment influenced my personal development with this type of conflict situation in the workplace. At the time, I did not know what to do other than ignore the situation that was occurring. After doing research on workplace relationships, I now have a better understanding of what I could have done, if needed, in that particular situation I found myself in.

References
Aguinis, H. & Byrne, D. & Pierce, C.A. Attraction in organizations: a model of workplace romance. Journal of Organizational Behavior, Vol. 17. 5-32. 1996.

Karl, K.A. & Sutton, C.L. – Journal of Business and Psychology, 2000.

McCain, G. & Romaine, D.S. Workplace Romance. Netplaces.com.

Paul, R.J. & Townsend, J.B. Managing the Workplace Romance: protecting employee and employer rights. St. Johns University, College of Business Administration, 1998.

Quinn, R.E. Coping with Cupid: The formation, impact, and management of romantic relationships in organizations. Administrative Science Quarterly, 22 (I), 30-45. 1977. Schaefer, C.M. & Tudor, T.R. Managing Workplace Romances. Society for the Advancement of Management, 2001.