Cougar By: Meghan Leeds Prologue Cougar was his code name. He was a Green Beret, a special force in the army. His name is James, but barely anyone knows his real name. You were even considered lucky to know him personally.
I was sitting outside smoking, the moon making the smoke glow in the night, when James urgently came over to me and asked me to write this. He wanted me to because he didn’t want to describe himself. He didn’t know how. Trust me, once you’re here his story he won’t need to be described.
I can’t even begin to explain what he’s been through. He was treated so poorly. I can’t put it into words. James might be able to; he might be able to give you a taste of his life. All I can say is… well… to me, James is a friend, but to the world, he’s a hero.

Chapter 1

I’m going to try to explain this to you, my story. A lot of the stuff that happens here is horrible, but it is the truth. I wouldn’t lie. You may not understand a lot of it. That’s normal. Let’s see if I can remember where it all started… It was in January when I was recruited. That whole month blurred together. I don’t remember much of it. I started the brutal training in February. Let’s just say that it was about 2 degrees shy of hell. We were pushed to the limit. They had mock prisons where they would torture us and see if we could hold up. One time we had to swim through blood. Nothing will ever be able to describe it. About 6 months after the grueling training ended I was assigned to my first mission. It was a black ops mission and I was going in solo. A black ops mission means that if I died or was captured, the military would deny that I had any participation with them. For some reason though, I didn’t care if I died. If I died, I died. No fear, no regrets. No one even cared if I died so why should I? Finally I got my task. I was to kidnap a small Vietnamese woman. Apparently she had some useful information. Her name was Lilly.
All I remember of that is the leader of the mission sternly saying, “Get in, get her, get out! Don’t stop to smell the stupid roses. If anything goes wrong abort the mission. If you die, well you know the rest.”
Soon after that I got on a plane heading into Vietnam. I was lost in a maze of thoughts when I heard the sharp snap of a gunshot. I whipped my head around to look at the front of the plane. The pilot laid there dead, blood pouring out from a wound in his chest. Being a Green Beret you have to think on your toes. You have to believe that everything is a lie, nothing is true. You can’t let the truth blind you. Instead you make the truth into lies and then the lies open your eyes to what is real. I know its crude thinking but that is how our brains are wired. That is how we survive.
I put that thinking into action. I hurriedly tugged my knife out of my belt. In pure, eerie silence I headed toward the cock pit. When I reached the entrance I looked at co-pilot’s seat. A large Russian man stood there pointing his cocked gun at the co-pilot. Without a sound I forcefully stabbed the man in the back several times.
Suddenly one of the engines exploded. I was horrified and began to speak frantically. “This plane is gonna go down! We have to land it!”
The old, wrinkled co-pilot looked at me in confidence. He courageously said, “You jump. If this thing is going to go down then I’m going with it. Besides, look…” He lifted his hand away from his chest. I shuddered. A large gash was right next to his shoulder.
With his good arm he pushed me away. “Go!” Swiftly I strapped on my parachute. With a nod of appreciation to the co- pilot, I jumped and plummeted down toward the cold, unwelcoming jungle.
I landed in a clearing as the sun began to scrape the tree tops. I climbed up to the edge of a waterfall and took in the breathtaking sight. Everything looked so peaceful. The sun streaked the sky with purples and reds while making the tumbling water shimmer. I took in a sharp breath of the tangy. That breath was cut short. A bone-chilling scream pierced the air and echoed through the rocks. It was abruptly cut off. This mission meant life or death, and I just now realized that sometimes, death can cheat you.
As I stood there, frozen, the wind began to rapidly pick up. I stretched my face towards the sky and realized that I had the worst of luck. A helicopter, stuffed with soldiers, was landing in the clearing below me. “Crap!” I spat angrily.
As the Vietnamese began filing out of the helicopter my heart began to race in my hard chest. I was terribly outnumbered. I decided to create a distraction. Mustering all my strength I lifted a large boulder. Carefully I placed it on the edge of the cliff and with a hard shove I pushed it over the edge. With a boom I heard a loud smack travel across the land.
As the soldiers blindly ran up the dark hill shouting, I stealthily ran down. Lights swept through the rough grass just barely missing me each time. Suddenly, as I began to run in a full sprint, I felt a jutting pain in my foot. I tripped and loudly hit the ground.
At that moment the soldiers were upon me, their guns locked on my bruised back. Mud smeared on my face as they began to bind my arms together. My medium length brown hair hung down in wisps and hid my silver blue eyes. As the soldiers lifted me from the ground I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. It disappeared instantly and my mind was painfully drawn back to the real problem.
My eyes became a cold fire and my jaw was set tightly in determination. I stared defiantly at them all; sweat beading down my muddy face. I was too angry to notice the tiny, fragile woman watching my every move from the dense tree line. Chapter 2

I learned the next day just how cruel the world is. I had a rope tied around my neck, allowing me to breathe only slightly. I had not eaten for a day and I was exhausted. Every time I would stumble on the way to the camp they would brutally whip me. I was physically and mentally stable but this about broke my spirit. I thought nothing else on earth could be worse. I felt like the living dead, wandering around with one order: Do as you are told. Later I would realize that this is like heaven in Vietnam.
The day was at its hottest when we reached the camp. The sun scorched the lifeless dirt. My head hung low in sheer agony. Blood was running in little rivers down my torn back. At first I didn’t see all the horrors at camp, but then I looked up.
Everywhere filthy American soldiers were being beaten or hung. I kept hearing screams coming from a large building that was covered in palm leaves. The clothes that the Americans wore were torn and soiled and none of them spoke a word.
Two large men harshly grabbed my arms, jerked my head away from the heart wrenching sight, and lead me into a musty room. Without the slightest hesitation they hit me in the lower back. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out. They cut the rope that was choking me and left in silence.
I began to cough violently trying to find some good air. My mouth filled with the taste of blood as my tongue began to bleed. The room grew darker as the sun slipped away from the stormy sky. I had just regained most of my dying energy when the door slammed open. I heard a lot of struggling and screaming coming from outside. I tried to ignore the terrible sound of choking as another captive soldier appeared at the door. I gasped in shock as my gaze met the soldier’s. It was a girl.
The Vietnamese whipped her tiny frame until she fell to the ground. She looked like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. Her hair was a silky black and her skin glowed in the dimly lit room. Her brown eyes were sparked in anger, but to me that made her more beautiful. She looked like a fragile glass doll. Later I wouldn’t think of her so lightly.
Again the Vietnamese left the room. They were up to something. After the door slowly shut it clicked. They locked it. A long silence went by. Finally the girl turned to me and said with strands of hair in her eyes, “I see you get captured. I was in hiding when they took you.” I slowly nodded. I still didn’t trust her. She didn’t take any offense. The girl continued in a smooth tone, “My name Lilly.” I tried to hide the surprise in my eyes as her name hit my ears. Lilly went on, “What your name?”
Swiftly I said, “James.”
Lilly smiled brightly, “You surprised to see woman? A woman soldier?”
I nodded, anger trickling into my gaze.
Lilly’s eyes darkened, “You know I no get special treatment. I treated like you. I fear this place. No good comes from it! It will always be a place of torture, a place were no one, not even the living, can claim that they are alive.” Her face quickly got brighter as if she was trying to cheer herself up and she said, “Some day I want to see real world. I want to just live in peace and quiet. No fear. I just want this terrible war to be settled, without the death.”
I grumbled, “Well to survive you can’t be quiet now can you? Killing is what we do; it’s what we have to do. Talking helps nothing. Don’t you see that?!”
Lilly eyes flooded with surprise at the edge in my voice. She stuttered, “I… I know much troubles you, but you have to believe that change will come. If you don’t stand for anything what will you die for? What you say is true, but you can’t let it cloud your thinking. The world is not all bad.”
Suddenly Lilly touched my shoulder gently and gazed into my eyes, her stare piercing my heart. I blinked and whispered, “Lilly.” Lilly replied by nodding and leaning toward me. Despite myself I was leaning too.
Instantly door smashed open with a great amount of power and Lilly and I pulled away quickly. The soldiers didn’t suspect a thing. My eyes met with a Russian’s. His face seemed dead, only slightly did his eyes sparkle at the excitement of hurting us. The floor creaked with his every step. I fought to not scream at him. He slowly inched toward me and Lilly, watching intently to see if we squirmed. The tension seemed to crackle in the stuffy air.
Turning from us, the Russian shouted in a heavily accented voice, “Yukon! Get in here and teach this filthy American some manners!” Instantly Yukon’s large body blocked the doorway. Without hesitation he stomped up to me and stared down. I angrily spat at his boots.
Yukon returned my anger by violently kicking me in the gut. I bent over in pure pain. My sore body was throbbing with every breath. Lilly gasped loudly. I lifted my face towards Yukon and stared at him, hatred making my eyes turn to ice.
Lilly began to struggle as Yukon lifted her up from the ground. She sternly yelled, “Stay… away… from me!” Yukon grabbed a knife from the table and held it firmly to Lilly’s neck. Lilly clenched her teeth but a small whimper escaped from her lips.
The Russian leader began to talk in a cocky voice, “We don’t like finding all you filthy Americans in our territory! Why have you come to fight a war that is not your own?!?” I glared at him and cursed.
He nodded. “So this is how you chose to treat me after we showed hospitality? Do you not fear me?”
I matched his deadly stare. He spoke again in a threatening tone, “You know things come at a price.” He jerked his head and pointed at Lilly. “She… she shall be the price.” The Russian walked up to Lilly and menacingly whispered; “Now we know where your allegiances lie.”
I was confused by this but I let it slide. My mind was too focused to even care. The Russian confidently strutted over to me, “You obviously have no fear for your own life but, you fear for hers.”
A storm began to brew outside. Lightning flashed and the wind shook the building. Yukon pressed the knife hard against Lilly’s neck and she gulped. The leader spoke, “You talk, her life will be spared, you don’t, well you know the rest…”
I knew these stupid soldiers weren’t bluffing, but I hesitated anyway. Yukon strongly gripped the knife and prepared to kill Lilly. He drew the knife in the air and was about to swing. Suddenly I jumped up from the ground and kicked the knife out of Yukon’s hand. Lilly slid to the ground and the commander lunged at me. I was held down to the ground by Yukon’s feet. The commander squatted down and breathed, “You will talk?” I sighed and nodded slightly. I had been defeated.
As they led me away from Lilly I saw fear in her eyes, but there was something else there. There was something in her eyes that captivated me. I couldn’t figure it out, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away from her. Yukon punched me hard in the jaw when he saw this. I lost my balance and stumbled out of the building, pondering the look of Lilly’s eyes. I knew that the look in her innocent, brown eyes would forever haunt me for they held a look of deceit but also of love.

Chapter 3

I was led into a room that reeked of death and blood. I stared as Yukon stomped over to a small table and grabbed a parachute cord. He motioned for me to walk forward, towards him. The commander then instructed me to stand on a small stool. Without objection I did as I was told, ashamed at myself for not fighting back. Yukon then wrapped the stiff cord around my body and tied the ends to my thumbs. I watched as the commander threw the other end of the cord across a rafter in the ceiling. Suddenly he turned to me, cursed, and kicked the chair away from my feet. Instantly I was suspended in the air. A large pain quickly shot up my back. Instantly I knew that my shoulders were dislocated.
“What’s your name?!?” yelled the commander. I stayed silent and stared at the door, trying to ignore the aching pain. “What is your name?!” he screamed again. His nasty breath grazed my neck as he threatened me. Soon, without a second thought, Yukon jerked the parachute cord. I began to breathe heavily. Finally the pain cracked me and I gasped, “James. My name is James.” I hung my head, already exhausted.
The muscles I had all seemed to fade away as I hung there and my head spun in exhaustion. Finally the Russian spoke again, this time in a scratchy whisper, “James? Do you know pain?