The question posed for this week’s discussion is what I would consider a mixed bag. While I feel that similarities between the partners would make for a stronger relationship I do not feel that we need to seek out our copies. What it really will boil down to is the couple’s ability to adapt and accept differences and to not see them as weaknesses but rather opportunities for growth (Olson, 2009).
Paula Abdul, I realize that this dates me a bit, had a top twenty hit in 1988 titled "Opposites Attract" which has found some basis in sociological research. In an article found in Psychology Today this issue of why those who are different are drawn together is discussed, "Opposites, or perhaps more accurately, “complements” do attract...And while this can create some interesting challenges for most couples, these differences are actually the source of what is considered by many to be the source of the most important aspect of any successful relationship: chemistry" (Bloom and Bloom, 2014). This chemistry is what initiates an interaction that could lead to a lasting relationship. Those who are just like us tend to limit our ability to grow and adapt, which is needed in a healthy relationship. The PREPARE/ENRICH program allows couple to see where they have strengths but more importantly is shows where they can grow and then leaves it to the couple to decide if they are willing to work at it. When a couple leans on existing strengths in times of stress while striving through Christ-like love and patience to “Love one another, as I have loved you” then they are able to build foundations that will aid them through future trials.
My wife is an introvert, to the point that social interactions cause her physical anxiety while I am an extrovert that often finds it hard to not speak in public settings. While we are polar opposites we help to keep each other in check and have come to rely on each other in social situations. When two people are too alike then they are unable to see things in any other light, they become blinded to alternative oppositions in life, and may feel at a loss when forced to face something that was unforeseen.
All this being said, as I noted before there are some things that couples should share in common that can assist to eliminate unnecessary conflicts.
There must be a similarity of values, backgrounds and interests as a way to prevent or ameliorate discord, especially in relation to children and parenting" (Parker, 2002).