EWRT 2

Research Paper

There are plenty of symptoms, but not everyone has all the same symptoms. The most common symptoms are feelings of sadness and loneliness, insomnia or sleeping too much, making excuses for staying indoors, questioning your decision to move to this place, feelings of anger, depression, vulnerability, fear of touching local people, overwhelming sense of homesickness. Some people also become too careful with everything happening around them. They’re afraid of being robbed or cheated. Moreover, those people desire to talk to people who “really make sense”. For me, my symptoms mostly were the feeling of loneliness and sadness. I also slept a lot. I felt like I just wanted to go deeper and deeper in my sleep and dream about my sweet home. I refused to go out and talk to native people. All I did was sitting in front of my laptop and watched Vietnamese movies or read Vietnamese magazines. It was all for the purpose of killing time and forgetting the emptiness in my heart.

There are a lot of different theories about the phases of culture shock. The differences mostly depend on each individual’s personality. The most common theory is identified by Kalvero Oberg. He discovered the five distinct stages of culture shock in 1958, the five stages of culture shock. The first stage is called “honeymoon stage”. When entering to a new country, you may feel excited and eager to experiences new things. You’re in awe of the differences you see. Just looking at everything in the new place reminds you of sweet home during this stage. Desi Downey, an author of the article Culture Shock: It's the Little Things That Count in the Biggest Ways, lived in China for six years, and taught English there for much of that time. She narrated her own story when she first moved to China since her husband was offered a chance to work there. Before she ever left the States, she was really excited. The first thing she did was “run down to the local bookstore and buy a whole bunch of books about China, the Chinese people and how to speak Chinese” (Desi, 1). Anyone who has already gone through this stage would understand why it is called “the honeymoon stage”. Because it is a fun part, and everything around the new comer seems pink and cute. For me, when my dad’s friend picked me up from San Francisco airport to his house, I looked at every single thing that caught my eyes, and until now I still remember how excited and happy I was that day. 101 freeway, Costco, Evergreen Valley College were so new and catchy to me. I felt like I just entered one of the most beautiful places in the world. Honestly, I was in awe of the view around me and I just wanted to scream out to express my happiness. However, Desi and I would never think that the length of honeymoon stage is really short and will be replaced by the second stage, called distress or irritation-to-anger stage. In this stage, the differences start creating an impact. Everything you’re experiencing no longer feels new; in fact, it’s starting to get you down. The feeling of anxiety and anger occur immediately, and you feel either isolated or confused, then you begin to realize that no one is beside you, even your family and friends. For me, this stage lasted for a few days. When realizing that things around me weren’t just pink, I suddenly immersed in depression. I wondered if studying abroad was a good choice. I also feel irritated since I felt like the people whom I met every day didn’t seem to care about me. They were too busy struggling with their life, and no one in my host family talked to me, except for the kids. I remembered I hated myself for choosing to move away from my parents.

Then, my culture shock experience moved forward to the fourth stage, which is called rejection or regression stage. During this stage, you start missing your new home. You dislike the culture, the language, the food. You compare everything in the new place with things in your home. You reject it as inferior. This stage can also be called an acceptance stage. It sounds a little contradicted. Perhaps the better name for it is the milestone stage because this is when you decide to choose either rejecting the new culture and keeping your old one or trying to adapt and blend in the new place. One could not accept new things so they start disliking the food, the language, and the atmosphere in the new place. Nonetheless, others could realize that it’s their job to learn about everything in a foreign place. That way, they become more comfortable with their new surroundings and more familiar with their new country and its culture, they're not afraid to go out and contact with the local people anymore. They don't feel so much like a fish out of water. Indeed, those people with such thought will adjust to the new environment much better than those with “rejection” thought. For Downey’s case, she “went from desperately wanting to learn the language to not being able to stand the infernal racket of their constant, unintelligible chattering” (3). She also explained, “As I moved into the third stage of culture shock, I began to reject everything that China and the Chinese had to offer” (3). That’s exactly the meaning of rejecting it as inferior. Similarly, to me, the third stage is the most boring and depressing time. I hid in my room all the time and rejected to go out with everyone. I remembered I was invited to a barbecue party at the church I currently attend. It was my first time joining a barbecue party in a park and with people I never met before. I never felt such a pressure, and all I did was eating. I didn’t talk to anyone unless they approached me first. After I finished eating, I found a quiet place in the park and sat there by myself, being isolated from the crowded and noisy party. Unfortunately, I was originally a shy and reserved person, so I kept hiding in my own shell for a few weeks after that until I entered the fourth phase, the autonomy. This is the first stage in acceptance. Sometimes it’s called the emergence stage when you start to come out of the ‘fog’ and finally begin to feel like yourself again. You start to accept the differences and feel like you can begin to live with them. You feel like you are more opened to the things surround and more confident to embrace new culture. This stage is pretty much like the honeymoon stage when you decide to go out and enjoy it. You are yourself again! Your eyes and your heart are ready to receive more new things. You’re no more scared of speaking the new language with the local people. Things start to become more enjoyable. You feel comfortable, confident, and able to make decisions based on your own preferences and values. Indeed, the feeling of loneliness, irritation, and rejection fade away. You understand and appreciate both the differences and similarities of both your own and the new culture. You start to feel living in your own home and think of a new place as part of your family. In many cases, it takes more than a year or two between the third phase and the fourth one. However, it depends on individual’s ability to adjust in the new environment.

The fifth and final stage of culture shock is the reentry, or reverse, stage. Just about the time you become accustomed to living overseas, it's time to go home. And once you get back home, you are going to discover that you, everything and everybody around you, have changed. You feel like you no longer belong to your home even though you used to be the “master land” here. You often find this more surprising and difficult to handle than the original culture shock. I haven’t come back to my country for two years, but I heard a lot from my friends and my relatives that when they came back to our home country, they couldn’t stand living there. The food they used to eat, the road they used to walk on, and the house they used to live in, all became awkward and strange to them. They said that going back to Vietnam just made them feel more certain about the decision of staying in the States forever.

Another theory about the stage of culture shock is known as “Rhinesmith’s 10 Stages of Culture Shock”. The ten steps are described as the roller coaster of emotions. They are:

1. initial anxiety

2. initial elation

3. initial culture shock

4. superficial adjustment

5. depression-frustration

6. acceptance of host culture

7. return anxiety

8. return elation

9. re-entry shock

10. reintegration

The difference between the theory of Kalvero Oberg and Rhinesmith is that when experience ten stages of culture shock, a student actually follows a natural pattern of hitting peaks and valleys. Each student will experience these ups and downs in different degrees of intensity and for different lengths of time. From stages one through five, a student goes through the “exposure to a new culture”. It is very similar to stage one and stage three in Oberg’s theory. The student at first feels excited about coming to a new place, but he or she starts to compare and contrast a new culture with an original one. Students tend to point out what a foreign culture lacks; this often leads to feelings of frustration over what is "missing" or what can't be obtained abroad in the same ways it can be at home. Next is stage 6: “Acceptance of a new culture”. It is phase 4 in Oberg’s theory which occurs when a student gets used to the host country’s ways. Things seem easier to deal with. As a student begins to adapt more and more, he/she may have a new set of friends, may be traveling more, and may even be dreaming in another language. The last three stages are stages 7 through 10, which are called “leaving a new culture behind”. It is the fifth stage in Oberg’s classic theory or can be called “reversed culture shock”. No matter how integrated a student becomes while abroad, he or she will probably still be "shocked" by differences between original homes and new home. However, over time, a student will learn to re-adapt and reintegrate into his or her home culture.

To combat the stressful aspects of culture shock, first of all, you need to simply understand that this is a normal experience and somehow a helpful one because it will help you become more mature and more independent. There are numerous ways to deal with this experience. However, to me, there are five ways that are the most effective according to my own experience and my friends who are also international students. First, keep in touch with home. This is the source of comfort and encouraging. Every time I talk to my parents, I feel so much better even though I miss them even more, they give me such an powerful strength that no one else can do. Second, focus on what you can control. When we are suffering from culture shock, we usually feel out of control. So, don’t spend energy on things you cannot change. Try to be yourself as much as you can. Adapting is good, but if you try too hard on unchangeable things, then you are too harsh on yourself. Third, don’t invest major energy in minor problems. We make “mountains out of molehills” even more quickly in cross-cultural situations than we do in our own culture. Fourth, start writing a diary. I used to hate writing journals every day, but I learn that expressing your feeling by writing down everything in your own words is a good way to release all the distress. And last but not least, also my favorite tip is to ask for help. Find a local person that you feel you can put your trust on and talk to them. Ask them about everything you’re curious about. If they’re willing to help, you are somehow successful. Take advantage of this opportunity and invest your time to learn about the experience of the frontiers.