A young woman named Jessie had a special place where she would go. In the beginning she did it solely for the exercise of hiking up that grassy hill, soon becoming much more. It became her sanctuary, home away from home, maybe even a little piece of heaven. Within this place she could be at peace with herself. It was just her, nature, and occasionally her favorite pet Secret. Secret was a gorgeous, ginormous brown and white donkey with big gentle brown eyes that could see into a person’s soul. She normally looked down at Jessie’s short five foot-three-inch frame. However Secret still emotionally looked up to her and became attached to her that chilly spring day when she walked into the barn to start the first day of work. The two of them had an unexplainable connection that most people would not understand. Jessie would begin to stroke Secret’s soft short fur looking into one of her iced-tea colored eyes and the two friends would stay like that for several minutes without even realizing it. Seeing Secret always put a smile on Jessie’s face. Every day when she finished feeding all the animals in the barn, she would begin the journey up the big grassy hill following the small dirt path that the donkeys and horses made from their constant travels up the hill. As she walked, her naturally curly golden blonde hair that was always pulled half back and held in place by a hair tie bounced against her shoulder blades. Midway up the hill there stood a set of four pine trees all intertwined together appearing as one tree to a quick glance. If someone actually took the time to look at them, really look at them that person would realize how beautiful and unique they were. They reached upwards towards the sky like hands grasping for air, the branches sticking out like a person holding their arms out waiting for a hug. These trees always made Jessie feel welcomed and wanted due to their human-like characteristics. Once she arrived at her destination she inhaled deeply taking in the distinct smell of earth with a hint of sulfur which put a smile upon her face. She sat down at her usual spot by the edge of the deep brown, twenty five yard, oval shaped pond and ever so lightly dipped her feet in. She instantly started to giggle that silly school girl way as her feet slid into the blackish brown muck that acted like quicksand as it engorged her feet. She wiggled her toes which caused the unknown combination of pond bottom that most people would steer clear of, to squish between her toes. This action finally put her at ease. She closed her eyes and leaned back letting the sun warm her neck and face. Her shoulders slowly dropped as her body relaxed. In the silence she could hear the faint ba-boom of her heart softy beating in her chest. At this time the little person in her head did not run around making her think of all the things she had to do, things she had done, and the memories were not flooding her train of thought. At that time she finally had the room to breathe, no more suffocation just the fresh scent of the woods and nature filled her lungs. Unfortunately the went behind a dark cloud and the warmth disappeared. She opened her eyes gazing into the pond awestruck by how perfectly and effortlessly the water reflected the sky and trees. Jessie then moved so her body hovered over the pond, starring at her reflection as it appeared disfigured every few moments when the wind blew causing the water to ripple, breaking up the perfect mirror image. She noticed how sad and tired her eyes appeared which caused her to frown and the familiar creases on her forehead appeared. Quickly she brushed her bangs over her forehead and continued to stare, wondering what happened to the little girl she once was and how time went by so quickly. She reminisced on how she rarely ever had anything to worry about; her time consisted of fun and games. Now though she had to worry about college, work, and her family. She would give anything to reverse time and cherish those moments she had as a child and not take advantage of the time given. She smiled remembering one of her fondest memories as a child. She was just six years old at that time with the same curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Her parents were taking her to a pet store called Puppy Love. Overjoyed, she darted out of the truck and went straight into the store not waiting for her parents. She looked around saying hi to all the different puppies. Then she laid her eyes on this goofy-looking puppy that had curly blonde hair just like her. He was a golden retriever with a head that was disproportioned to his body which she loved. An employee took him out and let her play with him; she automatically fell in love, as did her parents. That night they brought him home naming him Sullie. The two of them grew up together: they both got taller, smarter, and closer to one another. Jessie stood by his side until he passed away from cancer, leaving her heartbroken.
As she continued to stare at her reflection in the mucky water she began to point out her flaws just like every other day she starred into the pond for too long. In reality she was a beautiful young woman with unique eyes that changed with the seasons and curly locks that most girls envied. She noticed that it was impossible for her complexion to stay clear. Atleast one or two pimples were always hiding somewhere on her face due to being over stressed. She hated that her skin gave away her times of stress and that her hair would frizz out on every bad day. She wondered why she could not just be an average girl appearance wise. Now that the negative thoughts flooded her mind it made something go off deep inside her like a forest fire; all it takes is one piece of grass to catch and the whole place goes up in flames. She took in a deep breath and out came all her frustrations and insecurities. Some people punch walls, turn to substance abuse, or keep it all bottled in until they snap and hurt not just themselves but others too; she chose to scream it all out every day on top of that hill while listening to the mountains rumble back to her and the pond ripple in response. The trees, pond, dirt, and rocks knew her thoughts, felt her pain, her joy, cried along with her, and knew every secret she had. The hill offered a type of therapy for her. Instead of being in a stuffy room with a stranger who waited for her to say something wrong so they could write her a prescription, over analyzing everything little thing she said and continuously writing down what they thought to be wrong with her when in fact there was nothing wrong; she just need someone to talk to and let all her frustrations and feelings out but the therapist is not going to help. Sitting in a field or the woods all by herself just thinking and enjoying nature, now that was therapy. Jessie never liked therapists. She remembered when she had to go see one because of something traumatic that had happened. The lady always tried to be her friend; offering to play games instead of talking about feelings. Jessie knew that the lady was trying to get her to talk without realizing it. She never did talk about her feelings to the therapist; she preferred telling her favorite stuffed animal Jasmine who never judged or said anything in retort. Once her parents realized that seeing a therapist did nothing for Jessie they decided on family therapy sessions which happened to be even worse then the one on one sessions. All four of them sitting side by side from: father to mother to son to daughter on a small uncomfortable couch talking about their feelings towards one another, doing ridiculous exercises never solved anything either. The real reason behind her hating therapy had to do with the time her brother was put into a mental hospital. The doctors diagnosed him with bipolar and depression but instead of coming up with a proper way to treat his illnesses they just drugged him up. Once her parents found out they pulled him out of that mental hospital, finding a much better one. However, to this day Jessie has not gotten over what happened to her brother and believes there are more efficient ways of dealing with problems which is why she chose to become a clinical psychologist; helping those in need without prescribing medicine. In exhaustion Jessie plopped down on the grass with her hands raised onto her head, her chest rising and falling while her heart pounded in her ears. The best part of her whole method occurred when she could finally clearly hear her heart beat which comforted her; not only does it represent life but it serves as a reminder of how intimate it is to listen to someone else’s heart beat may it be a child listening to their mothers to help them fall asleep or a loving couple cuddling up at a nights end and listening to each other’s heart beats in silence until they drift off to sleep. Just the thought of one day resting her head on the chest of the man she loved or her child falling asleep on her listening to her heart beat gave her one of the best feelings in the world. That feeling that starts at the pit of your stomach and works its way up through your chest and into your heart and then spreads lightly across your cheeks. It is the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach or having dolphins living inside you doing flips. Then up to your heart where it starts beating a bit faster than normal, feeling lighter than a feather and maybe even disconnected from your body. Now up to those cheeks that are lightly smeared with a blush from the sensations coursing through your body. It is just one of those feelings that is so great and powerful that it gives you a high that you eventually come down from ever so slowly, left in an awe of how wonderful that experience was. The sun begins to set turning the sky a mixture of colors that are so delicate and fluffy they remind Jessie of cotton candy. This is also a reminder that it is time to head back down to reality and the everyday stresses of life. Coming down off that hill she feels relaxed and ready to take on the next day or two. She knows that her little piece of heaven will be waiting for her in her next time of need or when she just wants to enjoy the view from up there and take a few pictures.