Wasiq Warraich 260184828

Economics 316

As I waited in my front porch for the arrival of most extinguished group of guests yet, I

knew that these people do love a good dose of intellectual conversation but nothing puts a

stamp of approval more than one’s life style, his interest and how he serves both these in

tangible forms. I stared off towards my house’s main gate that was to open at any time

and let in a series of limousines and at the same time thought of the items in my house

that will be of mist interest to the arriving guests. My Brazilian Big-Leaf Mahogany, The

beautiful Macow Parrot in its solid gold cage, the antique vase from ancient Babylonian

times and off course a bottle of wine that would knock even Donald Trump’s socks off.

There is however a touch of dirtiness to the acquisition of these items and as I think back

it brings a nervous yet satisfying smile to my face.

My method of acquiring, smuggling and authenticating these banned and in some cases

fine copies of valuable objects relied on my understanding of how foreign customs

worked, identifying the loopholes that could be taken advantage of and a comprehension

of the underground market.

I have always been an admirer of Brazilian Big-Leaf Mahogany and was prepared to go

the distance in order to acquire the desired amount. I discovered via my research that

most of this mahogany in Brazil was grown in suburbs or farms that were a decent

distance away from city centers. It only took a few hundred reals in order for me to get in

touch with local mahogany grower. For the right price he seemed quite carefree to give

me a portion of harvest. I then contacted a smuggling party I had already had a deal with

to take the mahogany to the airport.

Next came the task of smuggling the produce out of Brazil. I relied heavily on insider

paid information about the Brazilian customs system. The goal was to push the product

through when the least competent agents were on duty. The time chosen during these

agents shift was also not at random. The best time was right before the end of their shift,

since at that time they were more concerned about leaving then fulfilling their duty.

I had to add a touch of legitimacy to the mahogany. For this purpose I had legitimate

plantation mahogany shipped from Honduras to Brazil. I mixed the Brazilian mahogany

with the Honduras mahogany and was sure the customs agents in the US will have a hard

time differentiating between the two.

Now came the task of getting legitimate authentication for the mahogany acquired. I

discovered that the Forest Stewardship Council(FSC) was the most recognised body

when it came to certifying the legitimacy of forest products. I hired a private investigator

to dig deep into the personal lives of a few of the most noted individuals on the FSC. It

turns out much to my joy, that a influential member of the FSC had a great love for crack

cocaine. Certainly a good enough reason to have him fired and potentially put the entire

FSC under federal review. In exchange for the evidence of his addiction he was able to

provide me with necessary documents proving the legitimacy of my “Brazilian Big-Leaf

Mahogany”.

However he mahogany was not my only acquisition when in Brazil. I had always been

an admirer of endangered or rare species. The Lear’s Macow Parrot would indeed add to

my collection of expensive items. What better chance of attaining one than when you are

this close to the Amazon. I was able to get admission into one of the conservation sites as

an avid admirer of these majestic birds. Equipped with my digital camera I was able to

get enough knowledge of the facility. It was time to use the good old contact diary again.

Only one phone call and a few thousand reals later a masked individual broke into the

rather lightly guarded conservation facility and came out with the parrot of my choice.

Through neighbouring South American states the Parrot was then smuggled to Peru.

From Peru it was legal to transport the parrot to the US as long as it was done through the

legal trading routes. A small third world country like Peru provided little resistance in

attaining documents showing that the origins of the parrot were indeed Peruvian and not

Brazilian. The parrot was then on its marry way through the legal trading routes headed

to the US.

Iraq is currently still in an unstable state. The Iraqi army has began to show its presence

but there is still a lot that needs to be done. During the war artifacts from the Iraqi

museum were stolen. I knew that with strength of the US dollar acquiring an antique from

Iraq would be cheap. I had my associate who was an Iraqi born store owner travel to Iraq

and get in touch with the Iraqi Soldiers who he knew had a taste for liquor, drugs and

gambling. With promises to help them migrate to the US they were able to put my

associate in touch with the black market dealers who held a considerable amount of the

looted goods from the Baghdad museum. A beautiful vase caught my attention out of all

the pictures my associate sent me of the dealers merchandise. I bought it at once.

The tricky part was to get the vase to US soil. I knew the strategies I had employed for

the Mahogany and the parrot would not work, as US customs are especially suspicious of

products brought in from the middle east. I had the vase cheaply smuggled to Pakistan

which happens to be my country of Birth. I was able to get an original death certificate of

my never existing uncle and his will. The will stated that he is leaving for me “a lover of

antiques” a vase which he purchased in an auction in Turkey as I had always admired it

during my visits to his home in Lahore. Documents proving the vase’s purchase and

authenticity were as easy to acquire in Pakistan as the death certificate and will. The vase

along with all the paper work arrived in the states and passed with little scrutiny through

customs.

As dignified as my guest list was this night, the impression I was trying to make on

these people was incomplete without me whipping out an age old and renowned wine

bottle from a fine pure silk wine sack. I had in the past managed to legally import some

good French and other European wines. However “good” was not good enough when it

came to making a statement in front of my audience tonight. With my extensive

research I had learned that with certain mixing and addition of fruit extracts wine taste

can be altered to make it taste older. In addition I had a graphics designer make exact

replicas of 1950 Chateaux Petrus’ wine Label. .

AH! My front gate has just opened and I see a series of car lights headed towards me.

The only thing that could prove to be a thorn in my side for possibly the rest of life is if

one of the individuals in those cars is an expert, in Mahogany, Wildlife or foreign wines,

but even if they are, I was the one who pulled this off in the first place, distracting them

from analyzing too deeply should be a piece of cake.