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Energy Independence

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Submitted By rkountz
Words 1528
Pages 7
Cannabis: Right or Wrong?

By
Zachary Kountz

Dr. Gose
English 1010-017
3 December 2012

Well-constructed title page!

Kountz i
Outline
Thesis statement: Many people argue that marijuana is a mind-altering, dangerous 22, and should remain illegal. This hasty generalization is not correct. Marijuana has many beneficial attributes,18 therefore28 it should be legalized.
Marijuana used for health benefits.
The applications of Marijuana.
Marijuana as a stress reliever.
Marijuana increase sick patients appetite.
Medical marijuana can improve patients quality of life.
Marijuana allows patients to maintain nutrition
Marijuanas impact on the United States Economy.
If marijuana is legalized it will help stimulate our economy.
1. Legal marijuana will make more business opportunities.
2. Legalizing marijuana will create new jobs. B. Legalizing marijuana would help decrease national debt. 1. Federal government can tax marijuana at a high rate. 2. The federal government can use marijuana tax to go against debt. III. America funds Mexican drug cartels.
America pays top dollar for Mexican marijuana. Kountz ii
Mexican drug cartels smuggle drugs across the border.
American money funds Cartels.
Cartels are violent
Cartels kill many innocent people. B. America should legalize marijuana nation-wide. 1. Legalizing marijuana would help our economy and patients. 2. Legalizing marijuana will help stop Mexican drug cartels.
Notes on outline.
1. This is not a topic outline; it is a mixed sentence and topic outline.
2. Change the outline into either a topic or a sentence outline.
3. The highlighting indicates sentence structures, though some are incomplete sentences and need end marks.

Kountz 1
Cannabis: Right or Wrong? Since the mid 1900’s, cannabis and other recreational drugs have been illegal in the United States of America. Many people argue that marijuana is a 39b mind altering, dangerous, and should remain illegal. This hasty generalization is not correct. Marijuana has many beneficial attributes, 18 careful! Therefore28 (attributes, therefore; ) it should be legalized. TS Marijuana has various medicinal applications. If legalized, it could also help our economy. Also (Also,) 28b 28 legalizing marijuana would help decrease the level of violence created by Mexican cartels smuggling drugs into America. First, throughout time recreational drugs such as marijuana has15 (have) 15a been used as a medicinal tool in various cultures. According to (medicalmarijuana.net), 46 in Africa “Witch Doctors”33 smoke marijuana in pipes during ceremonies in their villages.20a (villages) 20a In America, marijuana has more practical applications. Medical marijuana is given to cancer patients to increase their appetites and25a (to) (and to relieve) 25a relieve the stress of treatment. Medical marijuana(,when used for pain management(,) 21d21d) can improve a persons30(person's) 30a quality of life without some of the serious side effects40b (effects) 40b that come with pharmaceutical pills. Many people speculate that medical marijuana is solely to get “High”.(high) 37a 37/33 There is some truth in this speculation. The “high” 37 (feeling of euphoria) 37a is the purpose of medical marijuana. Once someone smokes, dopamine is increased in the brain, giving the consumer a light-headed feeling that relieves stress. After this “high”37 (feeling) 37a is dissipated, one begins to get very hungry. Since loss of appetite is a very common side-effect40 (side effect) 40d of cancer treatment, marijuana can help patients maintain body weight by increasing their appetites. 20A (appetites) 20a Secondly, the United States is in a recession. Legalizing marijuana country wide40 (country-wide) 40d may aid in our financial recovery. For example, suppose that every state opens 20 36 marijuana distribution centers. Each one of these centers would require 50 36 full time40d employees. If these employees were paid $25,000 each year, this would generate 50,000 36 new jobs in America. These new jobs would Kountz 2 help generate growth in other sectors of the economy as well. In addition, the government could tax every gram of marijuana sold. 8g In turn, helping our economy climb out of the financial hole we have gotten ourselves into as a nation.17 Our country is now $16,000,000,000 in debt. Legalizing and taxing marijuana seems like a smart choice financially for our country. NextThird, over the past 40 36 (fourty years) 36a or so years, drug cartels in Mexico have been heavily smuggling hard and soft narcotics across U.S 35 borders. Mexican marijuana generates lots of revenue from the United States. In 2011, “U.S.A TODAY” 35/33 reports that officials seized a one acre 40d Mexican cartel marijuana farm.recast—too many words to describe the farm together According to “Fox News Station”, 31officials say this farm was worth $160,000,000. Mexico’s biggest moneymaker is marijuana (“US Debt”).46b—citation missing The demand is higher for marijuana because it is the most used drug in the United States. This high demand for Mexican marijuana gives U.S35 (see me about United States (US)) money to Mexico. The U.S 35 money funds the cartels, enabling them to build more drug operations. The cartels often build underground tunnels under the border leading into the United States. Cartels are extremely dangerous and kill hundreds of people each year. These deaths and American money lost to Mexico could be drastically reduced if America would legalize marijuana nationwide. In summation, for the last 100 36 or so years, marijuana has been illegal or banned in the United States. Many people think that it is a bad drug, a stepping stone drug that leads to more hardcore narcotics. This is not the case; marijuana has many great attributes and hardly any cons. Marijuana has a wide range of medicinal uses that could help cancer patients. Also28 in this devastated economy, legalizing recreational drugs could provide a modern day40d stimulus to our economy. One of the biggest benefits of legalizing marijuana is it can help stop drug trafficking from Mexican cartels. When all the pros and cons are weighed out, it is clear that the next step is to legalize recreational drugs nation-wide.40
Word count: 743
Works Cited
USA TODAY.34 USATODAY.COM. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Dec. 2012. .46b
"Medical Marijuana Uses & Treatments: Chronic Pain." Medical Marijuana Uses & Treatments: Chronic Pain. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Dec. 2012. .46b
"US Debt Tops $16 Trillion: So Who Do We Owe Most of That Money To?" Fox News.34 FOX33 News Network, 04 Sept. 2012. Web. 03 Dec. 2012. . 46b
Grade 70/C-
1. Thesis statement: The thesis statement has a comma splice in it and is not stated as clearly as it should be. It also does not include all the ideas presented in the essay. For example, it mentions that marijuana should be legalized because it has many benefits. Some of the essay argues that marijuana should be legalized to bring monies into the US treasury. The idea of money is not included in the thesis statement.
2. Organization: The transitions that introduce the main points are not parallel.
3. Development of argument: The argument uses personal opinions and secondary sources to support both the thesis and ideas not presented in the thesis. The main points should support the thesis statement.
4. MLA style: *In-text citations—Need work. One citation was omitted. *Works-cited entries—The entries should have hanging indentions, be alphabetized, and be credible. Using the databases in WSCC’s library would insure reliable sources. *Borrowed materials—The information used from the sources was not as relevant to the thesis as it should have been.
4. Grammar, diction, mechanics: Grammar—Avoid serious errors like comma splices, agreement errors, shifts, misplaced parts, faulty parallelism, and fallacies. Diction—Use standard English and avoid slang terms. Mechanics—Use commas, apostrophes, quotation marks, numbers, abbreviations, capitalization, and spellings correctly.

The Treasury Department reported Tuesday that the national debt had topped $16 trillion, adding fuel to Republicans' criticisms of President Obama's deficit spending just as the Democrats are kicking off their national convention

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/09/04/who-do-owe-most-that-16-trillion-to-hint-it-isnt-china/#ixzz2E2FSnAnq
Army Gen. Alfonso Duarte said traffickers could have harvested about 120 tons of marijuana from the plantation, worth about 1.8 billion pesos ($160 million).

Two men were caught in the camp and 56 others were rounded up in the area around what the Mexican government calls the biggest marijuana plantation ever found in the country. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/world/2011-07-15-drug-war-mexico_n.htm Officials on Friday showed reporters the sophisticated operation, which the army says popped up in less than four months.

Army officers said the vast farm just 1 miles (2.5 kilometers) from the main federal highway in Baja California state appeared to be the work of the Sinaloa cartel. The same gang was tied to Mexico's largest bust of marijuana packaged for sale last fall and sophisticated underground border tunnels discovered in November, both also in Baja California

Medical marijuana as a chronic pain management tool can reduce patients' pain and improve quality of life, without the same serious side effects associated with use of some pharmaceutical pain relievers.
http://www.medicalmarijuana.net/uses-and-treatments/chronic-pain/

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