An Immodest Proposal for Cancer Treatment

Before proposing my solution, I must first explain the problem that I intend to solve. The problem is breast cancer. At the current rate, over 192,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with it this year, 40,200 of which will die. It is the leading cause of death among middle aged women. If these facts seem impersonal, then you should know that one of every nine women in this class will be diagnosed with cancer and that in the length of one class period over eight women will die from it in the United States alone. Although a total cure has not been found, there are several treatments that can save lives. There is the possibility of surgery if detected at an early state, but most cases require intensive radioactive chemotherapy. These two most common treatments cause serious side effects. Surgery can be painful and leave scars both physically and emotionally. Many victims say that going through chemotherapy is worse than the cancer itself.

A longtime friend of my parents, Ruth Haskell has had cancer for almost two decades. During that time she has gone through a series of chemotherapy treatments. The radiation neutralized the cancer and kept her bedridden for days, but the cancer came back in less than a year. By seeing the terrible suffering firsthand, I have seen the stark reality of cancer. I came to the conclusion that no one needs to go through the pain and agony that it brings. I have searched for a solution and after much time and energy I found it right under my nose, or should I say right under any woman’s nose. Breast cancer would not be a threat if women did not have breasts! If all women had their breasts removed, it would cure breast cancer and provide numerous other positives. In the following paragraphs I will address how the lack of breasts would help teen girls, middle aged women, and feminists. Please note that I am in no way trying to make light of the subject, and I have nothing to gain (or lose) by my proposition. With that in mind, here are the positives of worldwide breast removal.

In today’s culture where teen women are so caught up in their image and whether or not they are catching the eye of that guy, the subject of who has better breasts comes up often. I cannot begin to number the times in which I have overheard women talking about who has the biggest or most shapely breasts. In a recent issue of McCall’s the author of an article on breasts was explaining how she became so embarrassed by her ‘ugly, misshapen’ breasts that she spent several thousands to get implants. The previous stories are filled with tragedy. Why should young girls be agonizing over who is attracting that special guy with their looks and why should grown women spend their life’s savings to boost their self-esteem? Especially when there is a simple solution that would satisfy everyone.

If all women had their breasts removed, there would be no need to fret over whose are bigger or better. The self-esteem of teen women would no longer rest on something as shallow as their body. The benefits of worldwide breast removal are also reaped in relationships with the opposite sex. If looks are no longer an issue, girls would not have to worry over whether a guy only likes them because of their breasts. According to an English friend of mine named Travis Butts, there are about half a dozen rapes every night in his old city of residence, London. Imagine how many women would be spared the trauma of rape if guys did not notice them because of their breasts in the first place.

Besides blotting out the self-esteem issues and making better relationships between the opposite sex, breast removal would humor the feminists who wholeheartedly push for gender equality. If they want to be treated like men, what better way to begin the trend than by looking like men? The lack of breasts would almost obliterate the thin line that distinguishes males from females. No longer would women athletes have to wear the uncomfortable sports bras to stop the bouncing that limits their playing ability. Female soldiers would not have to worry about being sexually discriminated against. And feminists worldwide would finally receive the equal treatment they so desire.

All in all, this solution may seem absurd at first glance. According to one of the pioneers of this procedure, Barbara Guttman, “(the procedure) went really well”. She in one of over 600 women that have had what is medically called a ‘preventative mastectomy’. In Barbara’s case, she had seen her grandmother and sister go through breast cancer. In 1997 she had her healthy breasts removed to prevent taking any risks. Personally I feel that any woman with a risk for breast cancer should have her breasts removed. And in an effort to create a comfortable atmosphere for those women who do have the procedure to prevent cancer, all women should have their breasts removed. In conclusion, please know that I do not wish to take all the credit for this incredible solution. I did not invent the procedure; I simply came to the conclusion that all women should have their breasts removed. In doing so they would not be removing only their breasts, but also their low self-image, the possibility of an emotionally traumatic experience in life and last of all, any feelings of inequality.