Table of Contents
Introduction………………………………………………………………………...1
Keeping Priorities In Check………………………………………………………..1
Prioritizing Time……………………………………………………………………3
The Hand Shake…………………………………………………………………….4
Setting Boundaries……………………………………………………………….. 4
Conclusion………………………………………………………………………….5
Bibliography…………………………………………………………………..6 & 7
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Introductio
My dad always told me when it came to priorities, that it was always supposed to be God, family, then everything else. Now that I do have girlfriend, whom I am happily in a very serious relationship with, my dad says my priorities should be: 1st God, 2nd my girlfriend and family, 3rd should be whatever else I value. This reflects the balance that pastors must deal with on a daily basis, how to deal with a ministry while maintaining a healthy family life. My dad taught me exactly what pastors must do when they prioritize, to put God as number one, then focus on your family, and finally the church ministry.
Keeping Priorities In Check
There have been many cases where the pastor puts the ministry as number one on their list, then God, and then their families. An instance would be that they feel that God gave them their calling, they follow it, but they forget to keep a daily devotional life with the One who gave them the calling. But this isn’t the correct way to set one’s priorities. Although a pastor may justify himself in that the ministry was his calling, I don’t believe that is the way God called us to conduct our lives. Yes, saving lives and bringing people over to Christ is a very important issue, and a noble cause, but what good is it to win the whole world yet loses one’s sole? A better example would be, to win the whole but lose one’s family.
Some people may even put God number one, ministry number two, and family at third place. This is probably the most common mistake that pastors make. They receive their calling from God, they follow that calling and immerse themselves in that calling, but sometimes forget they have a family to love and take care of. They may even wake up early in the morning to do their devotionals and prayer, but forget to kiss their wife good morning, or to do a special hand shake with their kids. Another example could be a youth pastor at a church, he could give all his time and effort to the kids of that group, take them out to the movies, play miniature golf, paintball, but at the same time get so caught up with the ministry to take his own wife out on a date. The youth pastor might even freely give out his cell phone number to the kids, so they can have somebody to talk to when they’re going through a tough time. This could be bad, in the sense that the phone could be ringing all hours of the day and night.
The correct way to prioritize one’s life is to put God first, family second, and ministry in third place. If one can prioritize their life like this, everything else will flow naturally. Plus, how will a congregation be able to trust a pastor to hold the church together, if he can’t even hold together his own family? The pastor has to lead by example in everything that he does for his word to be viable.
Prioritizing Time
My dad from the beginning taught me how to prioritize my time. I remember when I was attending a community college back home; I was taking 18 credit hours, played football, and had a job. I was just about ready to pull out my hair, when my dad told me his secret to time management. He told me that in order to be productive and to be sane at the same time, I had to have the mindset that when I am doing a certain job, just to focus on that, and when I’m done to just not think about it until I need to work on our perform that job again. This definitely helped me not pull out my hair. Prior to this talk with my dad, I had no clue how he managed to not simply breakdown and cry. My dad at one point worked for our church, had a regular job that he had to be on call for on a 24 hour bases, manage his non-profit organization, and teach classes on different subjects at 2 different schools. Till this day, my dad is superman, yet still finds time to spend with his family. I believe this is how pastors should manage their time during the daily grind. It’s easy to get caught up in everyday life and to feel the stress of it, but sooner or later it will catch up to you. An example of what we should do is a pastor works in his office all day, he gets off work at 5 to go home, and he should leave his job at the office mentally and physically. The pastor should come home ready to focus his attention on his family that he has been away from all day.
The Hand Shake
One thing that my dad incorporated into my brother’s life and mine, is the 1 2 3 hand shake. It was a fist bump: top, bottom, middle, we’d point our index finger to Jesus (signifying that He is the only One), and bump shoulders. My dad and I started this when I was young, and to this day it is something we do to say; good morning, goodnight, hi, bye, and I love you. What this hand shake means to me is that my dad will always be there for me, no matter what. To me and my brother, it signifies that our dad incorporated 2 things; 1 it is a bond between father and sons, 2 it brings God into the picture. By pointing up to the sky, it always reminds me that God is there, always watching over me. I’m not allowed to do the shoulder bump anymore, because apparently I’m too big and strong for my dad. One time I accidently almost knocked him over, and all I did was stand straight up and threw out my arm.
Setting Boundaries
One thing that my dad told me from the interview was that when he does counseling sessions, that if it was a woman, he would request that her husband attend the meeting. If a husband wasn’t in the picture, he would reference that woman to another counselor in the office that was a woman as well. He said that in this world we live in today, you can never be sure that everyone is out for your best interest. A one on one session with a woman can be lethal to your ministry, and to your marriage. Even if that woman doesn’t start any rumors, someone else from the outside could get the wrong idea and spread bad things about you. Late night meetings can mess things up too; you should be at home with your family during this time anyways.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a pastor must keep his priorities in check. God calls us to do His will, and a lot of times we as people dedicate our lives to our calling, but a pastor should never have his priorities out of order. A pastor should be dedicated to his ministry, but he should never value his ministry more than his family or his devotion to God.
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Bibliography
Dobbins, Richard D. "Priorities For the Parsonage." Enrichment Winter 1996: 26-29. Web.
Goodall, Wayde. "Subtle Termites in Ministerial Marriages." Enrichment Winter 1996: 38-41. Web.
Logos Bible Software Version 4.X Scholar’s Library. Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Books, 1993. McKinley, Steve, John Maxwell and Greg Asimakoupoulos. The Time Crunch : What to Do When You Can't Do It All. Mastering ministry's pressure points.
Logos Bible Software Version 4.X Scholar’s Library Carol Stream, Ill.; Waco, Tex.: CTi; Word Books, 1985. Merrill, Dean. Clergy Couples in Crisis : The Impact of Stress on Pastoral Marriages. The Leadership library.
Logos Bible Software Version 4.X Scholar’s Library Carol Stream, Ill.; Waco, Tex.: CTi; Word Books, 1988. Miller, Kevin A. Secrets of Staying Power : Overcoming the Discouragements of Ministry. The Leadership library.
Logos Bible Software Version 4.X Scholar’s Library Carol Stream, Ill.; Dallas: Christianity Today; Word Pub.; Distributed by Word Books, 1988. Shelley, Marshall. The Healthy Hectic Home : Raising a Family in the Midst of Ministry. The Leadership library.
Surface, Mel. "The Man of God at Home- The Minister as Husband and Father." Enrichment Winter 1996: 72-73. Web.
Taylor, Cheryl. "The War Within: Maintaining Sexual Integrity." Rapport Magazine Summer 2004: 6-9. Web.
Logos Bible Software Version 4.X Scholar’s Library. Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2001. Thomas, Curtis C. Practical Wisdom for Pastors : Words of Encouragement and Counsel for a Lifetime of Ministry.
