I MISS THE CANDY

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JULY 15, 2013

I MISS THE CANDY

I miss the candy, and the cute costumes the little children wore with such glee. I could sometimes even see a glimpse of supreme genius in the adult participants’ attire if I looked closely. One such memorable occasion, I saw two gentlemen dressed as characters from the movie “A Clockwork Orange.” This turns out to be a very obscure movie; as I have recently discovered. Uncharacteristic boldness propelled me to confirm the reference and relate my woes on procurement. Turns out they had similar difficulties for research on their costumes. Even the all mighty worldwide web work [just kidding] could burb up little but still photos from the movie. Bummer.
I digress….. Sorry.
Ehh hemmm I miss the time when little princesses, super heroes, witches and the like were herded through the eagerly waiting neighborhoods. The well-kept lawns and street facing gardens still valiantly struggle; holding on to the last remnants of summer beauty, but chilling nights have begun to take toll on even the best landscaping efforts, amateur and professional alike. Many took advantage of natures’ outcome to make them especially scary in theme decoration choices. I had trees, lots of different ones. There were tall mature oaks, Christmas pines of all types, along with a colorful variety of maples and various fruits. Each one capable, in the right hands, of transforming into a corner of the eye heart stopping something that allows only the bravest of the tiny ones’ to pass. Early winters enhance the quality of the scary menu. Shadowy areas from snow mounds newly ploughed to ease motor travel but little relief for those on feet and in costume, providing places for things that jump in the night. The rest wait for either the designated older brother or sister of the group, trying hard to keep distance from them, a familial duty levied for the promise of reward later. Or more likely the parents, {trying too hard to fit in or be cool} or whatever the current, that still results in cringing among the waiting goblins and pirates, who are trying (hopefully, weather permitting) to be able to enjoy the last “family outdoor” time before the snow flies. Despite the eerily lit spaces away from the door, the excitement radiating from the groups overcomes the haunted spooky looking distance to their ultimate goal. The glowing safety of the porch light represents the prize to the quester. The brave little sharp-dressed tykes cautiously trudged forward, all of them hoping for the mother-lode {usually consisting of the full size version of their sweets craving little hearts-desire}, that would make the trip worth the fright. Or at least not fruit, pencils or toothbrushes. I hated getting toothbrushes, gees, I mean really?? Just turn off the light, and try not to give a reason for special ‘baker’s dozen’ re-visit, silly dentist.
Oops……did it again.
Sorry, really.
Let’s try again. Onward goes the march plundering one house after another. Sending subtle (some, not so much!) signals to the passing groups of various costumed superstars as to the best of pickings and which areas were headed for nocturnal appointments of one sort or another. Confections compared and traded, fruits discarded, and pencils usually lost by the end of the night. The local hospital donated X-rays of the booty as a community service, always sporting a good crowd by dark. Toothbrushes followed a unique path in the trick or treat world, often littering a dentists’ front yard or closest trashcan. After as many trips to the porches as each respective group felt up too, the candy dried up or the older kids were recognized too many times; the porch lights dimmed for the night. If you were very lucky in the parental group, your small fry has exhausted his sugar rush with fright induced adrenaline, resulting in an utterly spent child. Thus giving you first pass through the haul, and passing judgments to obtain a few choice morsels, naturally. Most of what I miss was the sense of being safe in spite of the potential nightmares and bellyaches soon to follow. You did not have to worry about the fact that you were going up to a strangers’ house and asking for a treat, avoiding an unpleasant trick. The things on TV and in newspapers that happened in the rest of the world always kept out of my neighborhood. Times have changed and not always for the better. Horrible crimes against adults and children brutally ripped the innocence out of a simple celebration. Whose worst offence is that it affords an individual the opportunity to wear a mask and pretend? Sadly it is taken advantage of in the most nefarious ways. Destroying the once fun and frivolous by-product of a holiday I am convinced was invented by dentists all over, in the wake of Valentines and Hallmark. (kidding, sort of) Throw the bad rap placed on otherwise peaceful pagan groups in the mix and no one is safe anymore. I really wonder about the hypocrisy in any faith that preaches tolerance and forgiveness, but fails utterly in execution. Really, I think I will go with the alien theories – they know they‘re silly and proud of it.
Okay, little detour but bringing it all home for you now, promise.
What brought this about you ask?? Allow me to enlighten you.
Becoming a parent.
Simple as that. Now that there is a little mermaid or cowboy (or many, in some cases) depending on you to protect them, taking chances becomes a thing of the past. Even chances that you never considered as chances are given the once or twice over with tiny tots on the line. Now they go to as close to a controlled environment as possible, the local mall. The scary factor that produced the counter agent to sugar is now obsolete, resulting in wild beasts that bear some vague resemblance to your precious offspring. Who is scared now, knowing they will be up until all hours, not from nightmares but from candy that used to make everybody happy? X-rays are mandatory because the crazies are all around and they look just like normal people. Me, that’s who. As a card carrying member of Parenthood, I am sad and terrified for my little overdressed wunderkind because they will never know the freedom I had back in the day. Even the costumes and masks can be harmful, what with gases escaping and flame retardant not up to standards. Worry has become second nature and it interferes with the fun I used to have. Innocence is lost and I miss the candy.