Israel is a interesting country with a very rich history and cultural background. What makes Israel even more amazing is what it has had to endure during its relatively short existence. The modern State of Israel has only existed for approximately 67 years yet those 6 decades are defined by constant warfare and conflict with neighboring countries. This constant state of conflict has far reaching implications on the culture of Israel. Another aspect of Israel that contributes to its culture, is the large immigrant population that it contains. Many Israelis are Jewish immigrants who returned to their homeland to avoid persecution or to strive for a better life. Israel's history of conflict along with its high immigrant population both contribute greatly to how parents raise their children in the country. This paper will present and discuss several studies which help to demonstrate how Israel's unique culture, specifically considering its ongoing state of conflict and high immigrant population, contribute to the parenting practices and beliefs that are found in the country. Israeli values play a large role in the thought process behind how children are raised in the country. Miri Scharf (Seline, 2014) discusses how Israeli parenting practices are a combination of both collectivistic and western individualistic approaches. Traditional collectivist values include having sensitivity to others, obedience, and feeling of obligation. Individualistic values stress the importance of self-reliance, exploration, and independence. Scharf goes on to describe how this leads many Israelis to have very strong communal and familial values and as a result Israel has much more stable families when compared to other industrialized countries. An example of this being the fact that 75% of marriages in Israel stay together, the act of divorce is seen as a failure on the part of a married couple (Seline, 2014). Israeli values have caused Israeli society to evolve into one that is very child-oriented, for example Israel is one of the only countries in the world that provides unlimited and universal state funding for fertility treatments (Seline, 2014). Most Israeli families have 3 children and frequent contact with family members, especially ones parents, is heavily emphasized and maintained throughout life (Seline, 2014). “The Greatest joy in life is to follow one's children growing up”, “life without children is an empty life” (Seline, 2014). These quotes help to emphasize the importance placed on the raising of children in Israel. Thinking about what the people of Israel have to endure on a day to day basis, it is easy to see why such a great emphasis is children. Israel is surrounded by hostile countries that would like to see them wiped off the map. Children represent Israel's future, both symbolically and literally. The more children there are, the better chance of Israel's continued survival. Parents must also live with the constant idea that their children may not be there tomorrow as a result of violent acts of aggression. Therefore, Israeli parents want to have a strong relationship with their children to ensure their happiness out of the fear of possibly losing them unexpectedly. The fact that Israel has a very high immigrant population greatly effects the parenting culture. Both immigrant parents as well as their children must adjust to living in a new country and a new environment. This type of drastic change can have very large effects on both the parents and their children and again, since a large portion of Israelis are immigrants, it is important to have an understanding what kinds of effects immigration can have on parents and their children. Investigating these effects served as the basis for a study conducted by Marwan Dwairy and Asnat Dor. Dwairy and Dor (2009) discuss how during the 1990's close to 1 million Jews emigrated to Israel seeking better lives for their children. The majority of these Jews were Former Soviet Union (FSU) immigrants. Upon arrival to Israel these immigrants face many difficulties, especially in regards to finance and occupation. Many of these immigrants were forced to take on blue-collar jobs despite high levels of education as well as facing hostility from the native population. Dwairy and Dor (2009) go on to describe how the children of these immigrants could be defined as a “high-risk” group. As a result of their parents not being able to maintain a stable and supportive household, many of these children turn to their peers for support which may lead to maladaptive behavior such as drug/alcohol abuse and dropping out of school. FSU immigrants served as the subject population in Dwairy and Dor's study and were compared to a population of non-immigrants (2004). They studied the associations between families (aspects such as parental control, rejection and inconsistency) and psychological disorders of adolescents. The results of the study showed that immigrant adolescents have a higher lever of psychological disorders and a lower connectedness to their families when compared to non-immigrant adolescents (Dwairy and Dor, 2004). Dwairy and Dor (2004) provide a number of reasons which may explain these differences, they include: more openness existing in FSU families which results in higher amounts of independence and individuation among adolescents, a disintegration of the family unit among FSU immigrants resulting from emigration, and finally lower connectedness being a product of single parent households of which many immigrant families are. It is important to note however, that psychological disorders were not correlated to the level of connectedness of the family, suggesting that other factors contribute to psychological disorders in immigrant adolescents (Dwairy and Dor, 2004). Interestingly, it is not just immigrants that may find themselves having difficulties in raising and supporting their families. Native Israelis also face decisions which may affect how their families are raised and structured. One example of a population in Israel who face change, like the FSU immigrants, are Israelis who convert or “return” to Orthodox Judaism. Orthodox Judaism is a broad categorization that encompasses many different religious groups, all of these groups believe that the Torah (the Jewish Bible) was given to mankind by God and that Talmudic laws define how their lives should be lead (Kor, Mikulincer, and Pirutinsky, 2011). Over the past 50 years Orthodox Judaism has seen a strong increase of converts as a result of community outreach programs (Kor et al., 2011). The transition from a more secular lifestyle, to a more overtly religious one, especially one in which strict laws must be adhered too, can have a significant impact upon family functioning. Practices and lifestyles that families were used to before conversion may not be allowed under the laws of their new religion. This transition could lead to conflict and problems within the family. A study conducted by Kor, et al. (2011) sought to better understand the relationship between the role of religion and family functioning. The study consisted of comparing the family functioning of “returnees” to “non-returnees”. The results of the study showed that converts to Orthodox Judaism reported many more problems in regards to family functioning then their non-convert counterparts. Returnee families reported having more problems related to family disengagement and a higher rating of family chaos when compared to non-returnees (Kor, et al., 2011). Returnee families also reported having higher amounts of stress, higher martial religious discord, higher attachment insecurity and lower community integration (Kor, et al., 2011). Obviously, all of these factors can contribute significantly to problems in family functioning and parenting stress. As stated before, Israel's culture is heavily influenced by a number of different and unique factors such as the ongoing conflict of the region it is located in. Therefore, their culture and parenting culture, are very different when compared to those of other countries. The United States is arguably one of Israel's strongest and most supportive allies. The United States gives a large amount of aid to Israel and many American Jews have either emigrated to Israel or left Israel for the United States. Both countries are modern, western countries with both countries largely being nations of immigrants. Therefore, one would presumably expect to see many similarities between the cultures of each country. However, this is not the case, again the constant state of conflict that Israel find itself greatly influences the ideas of parents within the country. A study conducted by Shlomit Oryan (2014), compared the opinions of American families with Israeli families in regards to the parenting practice of “family deliberation”. The family deliberation, or council is a group meeting practice which was developed by psychologist Alfred Adler and his followers (Oryan, 2014). The council was used as a tool in order for families to be able deliberate peacefully with one another and to allow a democratic means for every member of the family to express their point of view. When using the council, the family meets at a predetermined time in order to seek a solution to any problems that may be happening. Over the past 40 years the practice of family deliberation has spread globally, with Alderian theory becoming very prevalent in both the United States and Israel due to its employment by many different familial organizations (Oryan, 2014). Oryan's study (2014), again, sought to compare the attitudes towards this practice between American and Israeli families. The Israeli participants consisted of mostly middle-class secular Jews while the American participants were mostly middle-class secular Christians, most of whom were Caucasian. The study was conducted by using a comparative approach over a 10 year period and the participants were all members of various parenting classes in the United States and Israel. The results of the study clearly demonstrate that although American and Israeli families have similar attitudes towards the use of the family council, cultural differences do exist and create differences between American and Israeli families. For example, it was observed during the study that both American and Israeli parents “manipulated their children” during the meetings in an attempt to have the child take their side, it was also observed that both groups of parents did not take the concerns of their children very seriously (Oryan 2014). It was observed during the study that American and Israeli families differ greatly in regards to how the families actually deliberated while the family council was meeting. Israeli families tended to have an “open-ended” deliberative style. The Israeli parents seemed to be very open to the ideas of their children no matter what they were, and had very high feelings of pride when their children stood up for themselves and defended their opinions (Oryan, 2014). However, American families were observed having a much more “restricted” parenting style. American parents would often come up with solutions to problems without consulting their children, they would then expect the children to follow that solution despite the fact that the children may not agree necessarily agree with the solution or have had any say in it (Oryan, 2014). Oryan (2014) noted that this kind of restrictive deliberation could possibly lead to a power struggle between parents and children which could lead to conflict in the family. There are many cultural factors which could explain the differences in the way Israeli parents conduct the family council versus the way American parents conduct the family council. Oryan (2014) describes these differences in detail, for example, America tends to be a very individualistic society. There is a very large strive for self-fulfillment and self-reliance, and the need to “regulate cooperation to meet the needs of everyone”. Israeli culture on the other hand is very socialistic and communal based, there are “strong feelings of solidarity and mutual care”. The Jewish people look at each other as being extended family members and that it is the responsibility of all Jews to care for one another. With the Israelis placing such an emphasis on communal care, it is easy to see why Israeli parents place such a high emphasis on the opinions of their children versus American parents. Oryan (2014) also describes the difference in attitudes towards arguments in general between the two cultures. American attitudes towards arguments is that they view them as a “threat” to the speaker and should therefore be avoided as much as possible. This could explain why American parents tend to ignore the opinions of their children as to avoid any kind of conflict. Israeli opinion on arguments is that they are “an integrative and sociable force”. Arguments can be a positive way to “create sociability and display cooperation and closeness”. This is exemplified by the fact that Israelis feel proud when their children stick up for themselves and their beliefs, arguing can lead to the family becoming stronger and closer in the end. The final study that will be discussed is one that deals with the differing opinions of Jewish-Israelis and Arab-Israelis in regards to preferred parenting styles. I feel that it was important to include this study for a number of reasons. Firstly, I think many people tend to forget or possibly don't even realize that Israel has a very high Arab population. Many may think that all Arabs and Israelis are in conflict with one another and want nothing to do with each other but this is simply not the case. I also think this study provides a good insight into how different ethnic cultures can affect the parenting culture that is found within Israel as well as what types of parenting styles are favored by individuals. The study was conducted with 217 college students, with more than half being Jewish with less than half being Arab (Dor and Cohen-Friedel 2010). The students were given a questionnaires throughout the school years at different points of time which questioned their opinions on different parenting styles. The results of the study ultimately showed that both Jewish and Arab-Israelis preferred an authoritative style of parenting over authoritarian and permissive styles, however, although Arabs preferred authoritative, they were more accepting towards permissive styles than the Jewish participants were (Dor and Cohen-Friedel 2010). The study also showed that gender is statistically significant when it comes to explaining preference towards parenting styles. The results shows that women tended to prefer authoritative styles whereas men preferred authoritarian. (Dor and Cohen-Friedel 2010). It is important to note however that the number of women participants in the study greatly outnumbered the male participants so it would interesting to see if that result still held true if there were more males questioned. The reason I chose to write about Israel and its parenting practices is the fact that I find the country and its history to be extremely interesting. The country has been able to endure so much through its short history despite the hostility that it faces. I was very interested in researching how the conflict affects the Israeli culture and the day to day lives of Israeli citizens. I do not think that Americans tend to get the “full picture” when it comes to Israel and the conflict in the Middle-East due to our status as a Israeli ally. It was very refreshing to be able to do my own research into the subject matter and to learn more about what exactly started the conflict, why it is still ongoing, and how that conflict influences the lives of those involved. The concept that stuck with me the most was how Israeli Jews tend to look at each other as members of one giant family and therefore should look out for one another. It goes to show that in the face of adversity, a group of people can pull together for the betterment of their own people. That is a concept that I respect and one that I will not soon forget.

References
Dor, A., & Cohen-Fridel, S. (2010). Preferred parenting styles: Do Jewish and Arab–Israeli emerging adults differ?. Journal Of Adult Development, 17(3), 146-155. doi:10.1007/s10804-010-9092-9
Dwairy, M., & Dor, A. (2009). Parenting and psychological adjustment of adolescent immigrants in Israel. Journal Of Family Psychology, 23(3), 416-425. doi:10.1037/a0015830
Kor, A., Mikulincer, M., & Pirutinsky, S. (2012). Family functioning among returnees to Orthodox Judaism in Israel. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 149-158. doi:10.1037/a0025936
Oryan, S. (2014). The family council: Different styles of family deliberation in two cultures. The Journal Of Individual Psychology, 70(2), 128-147. doi:10.1353/jip.2014.0012
Selin, H. (Ed.). (2014). Parenting Across Cultures : Childrearing, Motherhood and Fatherhood in Non- Western Cultures. Dordrecht, NLD: Springer. Retrieved from http://www.ebrary.com

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