I was awfully sorry to hear about your sending down from Oxford, our beloved home and establishment of education, which I hear you were highly devoted to, and highly developed and skilled in that field. Now, I’d like to make a few things clear with you about the manner in which you have come to such a disappointing forfeiture of your educational opportunity, here at Oxford.
Firstly, I cannot take the blame for the consequences you have suffered after being found guilty of indecent behaviour. The reasoning behind this claim is that by rule of the Bollinger Club, anyone found posing as a member of the Club, who in fact is not a member, requires punishment accordingly. If I’m not mistaken, this called for punishment delivered by myself and the fellow members, to you. Hence the situation was one of your own doing, and I can accurately state that it is you that has contributed decisively to the downfall of your studenthood at Oxford. I understand that you will be upset and aggravated owing to what has happened to you, but I trust that you will find a way out of the situation that you have found yourself in.
Furthermore, I am also writing this letter in the form of apology. I am truly sorry for what has happened to you over the last few weeks, and would be absolutely fuming I was to be placed in your shoes at the moment. Like I have already said, I cannot accept blame for what has been inflicted on you in terms of punishment, but I can empathise as I appreciate the hardship that you have endured. Yet still, the fact of the matter is, you were correctly found guilty of indecent behaviour – whatever the circumstance – and you have been sanctioned accordingly. If the truth be told, most of the actions of the Bollinger Club are insignificant as long as enough money is offered as compensation for the damage. Fellow students have and will acknowledge the fact that the way this institution works is that there is allowance for the ways of the Bollinger Club and our purposes.
I can assure you that if we had known what the outcome of our actions were to be, we wouldn’t have done what we did to you. Yet still, we must take nothing away from the fact that it was you who risked such a situation by daring to pose as one of our members, when our strong bond and brotherhood trust would easily make you stand out of the crowd, and would instantaneously single you out as a pretender, we know who our fellow members are. If you were keen to become a member, all you need do is approach myself and pose the question. Granted, I may not have seen eye to eye with you on the matter, as anyone could differentiate between you and one of our members – you stand out to be rather the opposite of Bollinger material in all honesty. My point is that this whole scenario could have easily been avoided by means of presence of mind and cooperation. I firmly believe that no condemnation can be attached to myself or any other member of our club if inquiries are made to determine who is responsible for your predicament, if any inquiries are made at all.
Although your situation is slightly different from other cases of damage caused by our club towards possessions, etc. of other students, the conditions are fundamentally the same; the faculty do not take action upon our club because they are perfectly content with receiving money for the damage then waging war with our ways of spending time here at Oxford. Granting allowance to our actions is far more convenient for them and therefore has instated itself as a way of life around the college.
As I have already repeated a gratuitous amount of times, myself and the rest of the club are sincerely apologetic towards you and empathise greatly. Whichever path you choose in life, we trust you will be successful, and we hope that you understand in what ways we are not responsible for the current circumstance you have been planted into.
Yours truly,
Alastair Digby-Vane Trumpington, Head of the Bollinger Club.
