This quarter in class I have learned a lot about interpersonal relationships and how important friendships are. Friendship is a lot like food. We need it to survive. What is more, we seem to have a basic drive for it. It is found that human beings have fundamental need for inclusion in group life and for close relationships. I came across an interesting article written by Rick Naurt that was published in the March 2010 edition of Psychology Today.
In the article Naurt writes about how important it is to have friendships and it can be dangerous to become lonely. Evidence has been growing that when our need for social relationships is not met, we fall apart mentally and even physically. There are effects on the brain and on the body. Some effects work subtly, through the exposure of multiple body systems to excess amounts of stress hormones. Yet the effects are distinct enough to be measured over time, so that unmet social needs take a serious toll on health, eroding our arteries, creating high blood pressure, and even undermining learning and memory.
Nuart’s article goes into depth about how a lack of close friends and a dearth of broader social contact generally bring the emotional discomfort or distress known as loneliness. It begins with an awareness of a deficiency of relationships. This cognitive awareness can play through our brain like an emotional soundtrack and make us sad. We can start to feel emptiness within ourselves and may be filled with a longing for contact. We feel isolated, distanced from others and deprived. These feelings can ultimately tear away at our emotional well-being.
Despite the negative effects of loneliness, it can hardly be considered abnormal. It is a normal feeling because everyone feels lonely sometimes; after a break-up with a friend or spouse, when we move to a new place, or when we are excluded from some social gatherings.