1. What’s your style regarding assertiveness/listening/touch? My best style regarding touch is to actually avoid it as much touch as possible. Touching as a form of expression carries a lot of risk because it can most often be misinterpreted, and it might get me in trouble. I think touch as a form of expression should only ever be used when speaking isn’t the best option. When a friend is feeling depressed, consoling through a talk might not be effective or efficient because I might say the wrong thing and not make them feel any better. In this situation, a gentle pat on the back delivers the message ‘I hope you feel better soon’ across most quickly and effectively. This only pertains to me because I’m not very soft on my words to console people. 2. What are you strength and weaknesses regarding the topic?
My strength in the topic of touch is knowing when it is appropriate and when it is not appropriate. It’s very hard to get this wrong in my method. To put simply, I agree with the author that ‘don’t do it’ is the best method of not messing it up. The only time I would use touch is handshake, a high five, a pat on the back, and a hug if someone is feeling down and “needs a hug”. The first three are pretty self-explanatory, and I basically do those when I’m playing games. Handshake at the beginning to introduce myself as a friendly person, a high five if the game goes well, and a pat on the back if we lose and we tried. Those are the only times I use those ‘touch’. A hug is a little more complicated, and thus to avoid problems, I usually ask ‘do you need a hug’ to make sure I don’t do something unwanted. So yes, my strength would be knowing when the time is appropriate for touch. My biggest and only weakness would be not knowing how to use ‘touch’ to my advantage of communication. 3. How do you wish you and others behaved?
I think generally everyone knows pretty well the regulations/policy on ‘touch’. People acknowledge that touch can be awkward if carried out in the wrong situation, so most people avoid it and I think that is not a bad thing. I personally do not like being touched often. Some people are really good with ‘touch’, such that handshakes, hugs, a rub on the back at the perfect time has some really huge influences. It can really make a person’s day brighter. 4. Describe two ways in which you’d like to change/improve regarding the topic.
One way I would like to improve regarding this topic would be using ‘touch’ effectively.
For example, I would like my handshakes convey to the other person that I am well-intended and trustworthy, or being able to give really great hugs. Some people just have magical handshakes and hugs, and I would like to be able to do that, but I don’t know how. Maybe throughout my life, the years of training will show one day. 5. Include at least one very specific example of an interpersonal situation that illustrates the topic “in-action”.
A friend of mine named Jimmy is a great person to go to whenever you’re feeling sad. One time at a party, Jimmy and I were just hanging out and eating pizza, and then we saw this other kid getting hit in the face by a flying soccer ball. The kid, who was a lot younger than us, started crying. The kid sat down next to me and Jimmy, and everyone in public was looking at us to do something. Jimmy gave the kid a nice hug, and he felt better. Mission accomplished.