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Memories

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Submitted By rjhoomuck
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1. Complex question but simple understanding.

My daughter has a way of coming up with awkward question and at times you are baffled with their unexpected questions. One such thing happens to me sometimes back. The T.V was on but I wasn’t really watching, my mind was plastered on the meeting that I was going to be held tomorrow, but my daughter’s curiosity had the better of me. It was 19:30 and during the news report it was inevitable that the PM had to be mentioned. My daughter precipitously looked at me with a puzzle face and asked “Dad, what is a Prime Minister.”

It took me sometimes before I could response; my daughter was only nine years old.

I tried to explain that a Prime Minister is a leader of a group of individuals who takes decision for all people in a country and ensure people live in peace, harmony and gets all the need we require.

My daughter looked at me and said “So you are the Prime Minister”

Great thinking.

Yes as a matter of fact I am the Prime Minister of my house; I ensure peace, harmony and get all the needs for my family. From there on it was much easier to carry on the explanation. I am the Prime Minster of my house and there is another Prime Minster of the country in which there are many, many houses.

Simple understanding for a complex question.

Progressively when we grow up we are surrounded with sophisticated and contemporary thinking. With the passage of time unknowingly we lose our creativity and simplicity. In our complicated world simplicity and creativity are exactly what we need most.

That night when I kissed my daughter goodnight she told me “Dad you are the perfect Prime Minister, you look after us so well”

That was a great compliment for a father.

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As a matter of fact I am the Prime Minister of my house;
I ensure peace, harmony and get all the needs for my family

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2. The best part of the day
"When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another and ourselves" - Mahatma Gandhi

Everybody has a best time of the day, it just that we are too busy to think about it. We are taken up with our routine of life or else with our busy schedules. In so doing we lose connection with one another and ourselves. My best part of the day is every morning when I drive my daughter to school. This is the time when we are really connected to each other. I remember telling her how I hated school, she was so amused by this revelation that she laughed all her guts out. If I have to convey or guide my daughter on the way of life, the best time is during our drive to school.

Last week she explained to me that she has joined “Journalism Club” at school but there are a few girls that she believes are not contributing enough to the club.

We got involve in a debate of “being part of a team work” which was so animated that I regretted that we reached school so quickly.

Before kissing her goodbye I told her “the way a team plays as a whole determines its success. We may have the greatest team of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't succeed.”

She looked at meet and chucked “I’ll remember that always”

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The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. We may have the greatest team of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't succeed.

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3. Be yourself Be original

Why should people behave differently with their fellow friends? I'm sure those people are doing the greatest mistake because all they are doing is to fit into rather what their inner self is completely against. By so doing they are in permanent conflict with their conscience. I wonder why one should try to fit in the wrong place when something deep inside himself is telling him "No you don't belong here." So I think it's important to be yourself, no matter what. Be what you are and don't try to be what you think people would have liked you to be.

Don’t destroy the originality in your kids, like Pablo Picasso rightly said “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”

We are living in a world of constant changes; this is a fact however this does not imply that we should kill originality and follow the common trend.

Some month back I was on my balcony to start a painting and my daughter suggested “Dad why don’t you paint this sea view in front of us, it’s so beautiful.”

It was beautiful but I wanted to paint more than that. I wanted to paint the feeling of tranquillity which this vast blue sea was generously giving to me. This is my way of expressing my originality.

In nearly four hours I completed the painting and showed it to my daughter. There were no sea, no sky, no birds flying and no sailing boats but there was undeniably a sense of serenity and peacefulness in the painting. I named the painting “The sea view from the balcony”
I enlightened my daughter on the originality of this painting and she was marvelled about the concept.

She looked at the painting and moves her sight back on me and said “Ya this is the blue ocean in front of me, I can feel it.”

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Be what you are and don't try to be what you think people would have liked you to be

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4. Fear

Some years back I was reading a book by Robin Sharma about leadership and I noted these remarkable points: Fear is the primary obstacle to human greatness. Fear keeps us small. Fear prevents us from living our dreams.

I was inspired by those lines and I ponder over it.

Fear is your worst enemy, not your financial situation, your upbringing, your driving test or your interview. You will find many obstacles in life if you don’t overcome your fear. Fear will limit your mind, heart, potential, vision, passion, ideas and creativity in so many ways. How will you live your passion if you are too afraid to speak up? How will you show your creativity and ideas if you are afraid of rejection?

Learn to overcome your fear and you will feel great.

Most important, impart your kids to fight their fear. This will make them grow in a sound and respected environment. The first step I took to make my daughter fight her fear is to make her learn to swim. I showed her some videotapes on swimming and explained that the first step is to get ready to move out of your comfort zone. In this case your comfort zone is the solid earth under your feet. Second step overcome the fear of flinging yourself in the water and try swimming as explain in the videotape; don’t forget Dad is always by your side. You won’t get it the first time but don’t let the fear overcome your willingness, eventually you will swim. Same principle applies for other circumstances in life; overcome the fear and make the situation be your comfort zone.

My daughter loves the song “The Climb” from Hannah Montana. Nice words showing strong determination, fighting spirit and overcoming fear.

There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down, but No I'm not breaking I may not know it, but These are the moments that I'm gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep goin', And I, I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle

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Fear is your worst enemy, not your financial situation, your upbringing, your driving test or your interview.

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5. Plant a tree

Plant a tree and show your kids how to nurture it. This is a fine example of a life time commitment. Make it be the most meaningful and responsible act.
What do your children get when they plant a tree? 1. They become responsible for the growth of that tree. They learn to nurture and start getting glimpse of patience. 2. There will be a learning development. Through the process of choosing, planting and maintaining their tree, your children will learn about a number of topics, including growing zones, use of compost and fertilizer, pruning and much more. Encourage your children to learn more specifics about their tree, ask them to pick a tree that reminds them of themselves. At the same time, they will be digging deep for information in order to make a personal connection. 3. Make the tree becomes part of your children activities. Keep a record of the tree and your child's life on an annual basis. For example, how tall were the tree and your child at Christmas? What sport was your child playing when the tree first bloomed? Make the tree becomes your child concern. Create a study or play space under their tree by adding a tire swing, hammock, lawn chair, table and chairs or other outdoor furniture and decorations. Encourage your children to make that space their own. 4. Most important they start getting connected with Mother Nature, the source of all life.

Our challenge isn’t so much to teach children about the natural world, but to find ways to nurture and sustain the instinctive connections they already carry.” — Terry Krautwurst

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Plant a tree and show your kids how to nurture it. This is a fine example of a life time commitment. Make it be the most meaningful and responsible act.

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6. Lesson Learned

When you're raising a child with mental deficiency there are great lessons to learn from them. In fact, many of us raising kids with mental deficiency choose to see such condition as a rare sort of gift.

I'm a natural optimist, a glass half-full sort of parent. When I look at my son what I see is an innocent and honest boy, whose love comes without condition, and whose existence in my life has taught me the real meaning of “Accept, live and don’t give up”

However not every day is the same, sometimes even I slip. Some time back my wife and I were watering the flower in our yard while my daughter and son were playing in some water which has gathered on the paving in front of the lawn. Happy time.

After dinner I was on my laptop completing my cost report for my tomorrow’s meeting. My wife was busy helping my daughter with her Art homework. As I hate to admit it, my son has been driving me crazy soon as I started working my report. Non-stop he started about “Jumping in water” Some People with mental deficiency tends to get stuck on particular topics, sometimes by repeating the words twenty five times.

If you tend to object or try to interfere, he just takes it for a game and starts it afresh. You can try to ignore but on that particular day he really put me on my nerves and I ordered “Ok go and jump in water”.

I was fully absorbed in my report and I started realising that the silence was a bit annoying. We have been so used to vibrant moment in the house, when there is silence we are sort of puzzled.

It was then that I heard the splash. Rushing into the bath room I saw water everywhere. Water were dripping from the ceiling and wall, towels were completely soak in a corner, the built in cupboard was drenched now a small river was heading toward the corridor next to the guest room.

Angry, I lost it right then and there. "Stop that nonsense” I yelled, turning down the tap and throwing down towels in a hopeless effort to sponge the floor, at the same time calling my wife and daughter. My daughter joined the verbal screeching on his brother, calling out: “Vee what’s wrong with you?” Soon I was screaming at Pal who was screaming at Vee who was, of course, now also yelling and stomping his feet.

I was shouting too much Vee started sobbing, cuddles against me and whispered “Vee bad boy”

When I heard this, my heart broke; I subdued and reason to myself that his brain works differently?

Vee, standing beside me all wet, had no idea what he has done wrong. For him this was a game, same game he was playing with his sister in the yard while we were watering the plants. I knew right away that this was actually my mistake. I should have anticipated he would interpret my words differently.

Vee will always have moments like these, except that the people he upsets may never really understand. What if it's a salesgirl, or an old lady sitting by his side, the woman at the checkout counter, or even a fellow passenger on the bus—assuming he gets that far in life?

It wasn't the water I was raging about. It was Vee vulnerability. It'll be there long after I'm gone.

I thought quietly to myself, "With the help of my wife and Pal we will teach him."

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whose existence in my life has taught me the real meaning of “Accept, live and don’t give up”

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7. The Magic of Christmas

Christmas is the season which I wait every year; it brings magic in my life. Since I was a kid this feeling has remained anchored in me. I love everything about Christmas, family gathering, shopping, toys, Christmas tree, Christmas carols, gifts, joy, Santa Claus, I even love the smell of Christmas.

In Christmas season, love, joy and happiness is in the air so make your kids be part of it. Celebrate it as if you were born for this and have been waiting your whole life to share this moment with your dear ones, celebrate as if there is no tomorrow. Live it. And in the process, make everyone around you have a lifetime celebration making them realize the value and true meaning of Christmas.

One day your kids will thank you for that and those moments will be cherished.

Make a promise today that you will keep as a tradition; every Christmas you will hold your kids in your arms and tell them how much you love them. Make a remembrance of that particular moment by capturing them in camera.

If you keep your promise every year, you will live eternally…….in the hearts of your kids.

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Celebrate as if there is no tomorrow. Live it.

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8. Be positive…you will have a great day

Lately I’ve been feeling really grateful. Everywhere I turn, there’s something to make me realize how lucky I am to be a dad, to be a husband and to live in a beautiful house in a gorgeous town. I’m blessed.
Be positive in your surrounding and in return people will turn to you for solution, advice and to get a feeling of goodness.

It does happen when nothing turns out right on a particular day; take it as a challenge. Close your eyes take a deep breath and look for the positive side of the situation. Every sun rise brings new hope and new avenues.

Don’t say to yourself, when you see a problem in the world or in your own life that “someone ought to do something” – instead say to yourself” I need to handle this situation.”

Be positive and voice it out so that your children can learn from your example. Show them what the right thing to do.

Every morning when you wake up, be grateful for the new day… and the potential for a fresh start.

“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” — Louise Smith

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Be positive in your surrounding and in return people will turn to you for solution, advice and to get a feeling of goodness.

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9. Create Glorious Moments

Do you recall special moments, from your childhood, where time seemed endless as you became lost in the blankness and where freedom and joy are side by side along your way? Stop right there, close your eyes and take a moment to remember them. It’s very likely you are able to recall every minute detail. These are “Glorious Moments”.

As we continue to grow older, our lives become busier, responsibility flows in and we have less time to do what we love. Work, obligation, loan and frustration take over. Everything suddenly is so serious. Fun and play become a thing of the past. We forget to take time to play. In this technical era, we live in, there are more and more distractions that take us away from connecting with each other and ourselves.

When was the last time you created some special moments with your family? What experiences call out to you? Which one do you think may become “Glorious Moments” for your children? Very important and remember it always, there is no need to wait until Summer-time to engage in some family activity like going on a walk in the woods with your kids. Now is the time to “create” memories.

Rain is a bit rare in the area I live, recently there was a heavy downpour and my daughter was thrill. She couldn’t move herself from the window. I quietly got our rain coats, boots and caps, went to her room and asked: “Shall we go for a walk?” I still remember that moment as if it was yesterday. Her face lighted up and she jumped in my arms. We put on our apparels in haste and set out.

The rain was lashing on our face, she was holding my hands tight and all the ponds of water on the street had to feel our boots. We spoke no words but every now and then we exchanged a look and we smiled.

Back home we both had a warm shower. By then the rain ceded, we enjoyed our hot chocolate and relax. My daughter did not stop thanking me by loads of hugs.

It never ceases to amaze me how adventure is just around the corner, if we are willing to be present to it.

Take time this season to unplug and create glorious moments not only for your children but for yourself as well.

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When was the last time you created some special moments with your family?

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10. You will miss hugging your kids tomorrow

Where has the time gone? This is a typical question that most parents asked themselves when it comes to spending time with their children. Parents will unanimously agree that their children grow up in the blink of an eye. In a recent study many have admitted they regret not spending enough time with their young ones in their formative years.

Just take a guess of the most recurrent regret of parents for not spending enough time with their kids. Working too hard and worrying too much about things that didn't really matter were top listed.

Not playing with your child more often, not taking enough photos and waiting too long before teaching them to swim will be painful thoughts in your old days. I wonder why grandparents love and cuddle their grandson and granddaughter so much, is it because they miss not having done it with their own son and daughter?

I was reading a magazine recently and came across an interesting article which says that more than three quarters of parents have at least one thing they regret doing, or not doing, during their child’s first few years. And two thirds admit they would do things differently if they could turn back the clock.

Spending too much time at work was the biggest regret, followed by worrying too much about the little things which didn’t really matter.

PARENTS TOP 20 REGRETS

1. Working too much
2. Worrying about the little things
3. Not playing with them more
4. Not going on more holidays
5. Not taking enough photos
6. Spending too much time away
7. Not filming enough events or milestones in their lives
8. Not taking them on 'big' holidays such as Disneyland
9. Not encouraging them to take up a/more hobbies
10. Not having a shared hobby
11. Not reading enough to them at bedtime
12. Spending too much time worrying about housework
13. Not taking them swimming more
14. Not letting them take part in messy activities more often
15. Not teaching them to swim earlier
16. Not being at some of the milestones in their life
17. Not making enough of Christmas/birthdays with them
18. Being too over-protective
19. Always waiting for the next milestone instead of enjoying the current one
20. Not enjoying days out more

In our old days let’s be the parent who will proudly cherish the golden moments we have brought to our children.

All it takes us now is an honest willingness and a little planning.

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I wonder why grandparents love and cuddle their grandson and granddaughter so much, is it because they miss not having done it with their own son and daughter?

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11. Show good example to your kids

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”. ~Rev. Theodore Hesburgh

When I read this quote to my wife she gave me a big smile and said “Rev. Theodore Hesburgh is a great gentleman."

I hundred per cent agree with my wife. Family bond and giving a good example is putting your kids on the right track. Kid’s brains are like a blank tape, they will record whatever get to their tiny eyes. Your relationship with your partner is setting the bar for them to follow in. If you and your partner treat each other with love and respect; you are setting a trail for them on how to be treated and how to treat others this way.

Be the fine examples for your kids, this will bring a deep inner satisfaction to your heart.

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Kid’s brains are like a blank tape, they will record whatever get to their tiny eyes

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12. Simple good habits

Good habits will always inspire your kids. One day I overheard two teenage girls discussing about parents, it was so nice to hear one of them say “I like to see my dad come home from work and kiss my mother with a hug. It made me feels so secure, knowing how much my parents loved each other.”

Some actions are simple but doing them every day with the same passion and love brings another dimension to it. Giving your wife a good bye kiss and when getting back home you are greeted with a warm hug and kiss is great, but doing it unconditionally for ten, fifteen years of marriage; then it is a different power of love. This power of love is not only to your wife, but to the whole family. Your kids will follow your example, will feel secure and will live in a sound environment

There are several such simple habits that can change our family life; all it takes is the love for your family and the willingness to see your kids grow to be responsible adults.
A few of those habits that can change your life if performed passionately and honestly are:

• Good bye kisses • Hugging your kids when putting them to bed • Having dinner together the maximum possible. • Watching a movie together at least once a week • Exercise together with the whole family • Make some bed time reading.

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Some actions are simple but doing them every day with the same passion and love brings another dimension to it.

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13. Keep a soft spot in your heart

Recently I went to a fundraising event organized by the association where my son has his therapies. We had a nice day and we did spend some amusing moment there. However all did not materialize as the association planned; the master of ceremony did not turn up although he was booked one week in advance and no need to mention all the promises he made. A local singer who volunteered to perform on that day never appeared. Several parents whose kids have therapies at the association found stupid excuses for not attending the event.

I did help in all the possible ways I could and I was so happy I was useful to the association and above all, to the children in need of the various therapies the association offer.

The next day I was discussing with the lady responsible for the organization and telling her how glad I was to have contributed for that event. She looked at me with a smile and said: “When you give with a good heart you will receive more in return and you will be blessed”

Actually no one is obliged to give but living in abundance is also bad. Working for non-profitable institute, organizing a fundraising for children with mental deficiency is a noble act. If you cannot help you must not promise to do so, you must not ignore and most important you must not grade the less lucky ones.

We come to this world empty handed and we will leave this world empty handed. What will remain is only the act that we have left behind. Be gentle in your heart and act in such a way that you are remembered always for the

good deeds you have performed. Good deeds do not mean you have to empty your bank balance, giving a glass of water to a thirsty child is a good deed.

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When you give with a good heart you will receive more in return and you will be blessed

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14. Beyond the horizon

Last week I attended a three days seminar at the Hilton Resort on “Positive thinking”. The seminar was conducted by Scotwork and it was quite intensive starting at eight in the morning and I was getting back home late at night. On the third day before living home I was having a cup of coffee with my wife on the balcony and she asked me: “what good are you learning from this seminar?” This question made me think. From where we were sitting we had a nice view of the sea and I told her: “you see the horizon there, well in the seminar they are just showing us that this horizon doesn’t exist.”
Claude who was conducting the seminar had a career around the diplomatic world and giving lecture to people. He knows very little about my professional world…….. the construction world. Most of the attendee to the seminar had over ten to twenty years of experience, we did major projects in Mauritius. Even then Claude showed us how we should organize our site and plan our work. Irrational but amazing.

Actually what Claude showed us - To see beyond and to add values to make it happen…..not only at work but in LIFE.

We often only believe what our eyes see; sometimes we must look beyond the horizon. Most important we must impart our kids to see beyond and add values to their thoughts because eventually they will make their thought materialize. Imagine their thoughts being materialize without any values. I’ll explain.

Your son goes into business and focuses only on profit making. He might make some money but will he be happy in life?

Now let’s add some values to his initial goal: Honesty, respect, courage, fairness, caring and trust. He will not only succeed in his busy but in his life.

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To see beyond and to add values to make it happen…..not only at work but in LIFE.

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15. Time to catch up

No matter how much time you have squandered in the past, the next hour that comes your way will be perfect, unspoiled and ready for you to make the very best of it – Robin Shama

Powerful words. Everything can be started afresh in the next coming hour as truly said, they are unspoiled. This is a thought that we must set in our children’s mind from early childhood. We very often show our children their weak points but we seldom show them that they can work on that weak point because there is day which is call tomorrow. Tomorrow is a fresh day and entirely unspoiled. If you have the will power you can change that weak point; you might not change it to become a strong point but you can gather confidence to face it. Think about tomorrow as a fresh, neat and clean page. Write back on them but this time avoids the mistakes, the mess or the bad ideas which occurred the last time.
I remember one day at school I didn’t score well on an essay for my first term exams and my English teacher called me for an explanation. Before I could say anything he asked me “can you do better?” I nodded in the affirmative and he replied “Ok see you tomorrow at 9 am in my office with the essay.”

After he corrected my essay the following day he reminded me that the most important part of this lesson is that “you believe you could do better and you put yourself to task”

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Everything can be started afresh in the next coming hour as truly said, they are unspoiled

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