Taking things to heart may be a phrase that encapsulates a primary difference between men and women at work. Relational by nature, women take their work relationships personally, and invest in work emotionally. Most women join companies with the desire to be part of a team, to connect with the other players, and to deliver outstanding results. While men are friendly towards their colleagues, women often relate to co-workers, clients and vendors as friends.
Men, on the other hand, seem to assume and accept that the workplace is a competitive environment, and competition sometimes includes delivering and receiving verbal jabs. A recent study from the University of Chicago discovered that men are 94 percent more likely than women to apply for a job with a salary potential that is dependent on outperforming their colleagues. This would support the general view that men experience work as a forum for applying their skills, delivering results and beating their competitors.
Why do women care so much? What makes a sarcastic remark delivered at work more hurtful to a woman than it is to a man? The answer may lie partially in biology and partially in socialization.
In the realm of biology, women are wired differently than men. The female brain has language and emotion centers in both hemispheres of the brain, and more connective tissue between the two. These factors alone could explain why women are more sensitive to and adversely affected by harsh words. In addition, as Dr. Marianne Legato explains in Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget, estrogen causes women to feel and remember stressful events better (and longer) than men do. This enhanced memory skill makes it difficult for a woman to forget a cutting remark or tough feedback once she’s heard it.
Socially, men and women bond differently. Two women coming together typically connect by exchanging compliments,