Being Accepted As Diverse At Work
Description of Issue:
As I have come to realize, even as we are in the 21st century, we live in this multi culture world where we think everyone should be accepted as whom they are but not everyone thinks that way. I have been doing nails, manicurist, for about ten years now, I have many wonderful clients who understand where I came from but then I do get some that think I do not understand a word of English because I am Asian working at a nail salon. Many clients come into the salon and automatically think none of us speak enough English to communicate with us. They think they need to speak louder or slower so we can understand what they are saying. I would get so offended when someone asks me if I spoke English. I would give them a glare and sometimes even pretend I do not speak English so I don’t have to interact with them. For some reason, many clients think we, as a Vietnamese culture, all work in a nail salon because it is our only job we can do without speaking English. I felt they were discriminating us for being Vietnamese. Discrimination as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond implies, “Unfair or inappropriate treatment of people based on their group membership” (2010, p.91). They would get offended when we start speaking Vietnamese in front of them. Some would tell us it was very unprofessional of us to be speaking a different language when we are working on client. Then there are some who jokes around and tell us we are talking about them. I prefer the second situation. It’s probably the way they say it. When they make it as a joke, it sounds friendlier than when they are just saying out right that it is rude for us to speak in Vietnamese. I usually rudely reply, in perfect English, “It should not matter what language I speak to my co-workers as long as we are doing our job correctly.” I did not get a tip from that client as you can tell but I felt we shouldn’t be judge on who we are but on the quality of our work. I am not speaking Vietnamese to them nor am I answering their questions or needs in Vietnamese, so why does it matter that I am speaking Vietnamese to my co-workers. Research: What is diversity? Diversity as writer Neil Kokemuller states, “Diversity is the presence of people from a wide range of backgrounds and possessing different traits. Differences in age, race, ethnic origin, culture, physical abilities, religion and sexual orientation are just some possible contributors to diversity” (2012, para. 1). The diversity I am to deal with in my work place is race and cultural diversity. According to Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond, culture “learned system of knowledge, behavior, attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms that is shared by a group of people” (2010, p. 93). I was born and raised in California but looking at me, most people think I am from Vietnam and it does not help any that I work at a nail salon. Sometimes it is hard to control my anger for ignorant people who think that all Vietnamese people that work in a nail salon are immigrant or does not speak English. I have to deal with that problem in almost every day that I work. Some people do not care where I am from or what language I am speaking but there also many that cannot stand me speaking in Vietnamese at work and feel I should be speaking English if I live in America. I thought we lived in the 21st century where knowing a second language is an advantage and a good thing but apparently not for many people. I feel there should be a way for people to understand that everyone is different and should be able to accept who I am and know I am doing my best at work no matter what language I speak. A freelance writer states, “People often question what they don't understand and react in frustration when differences of opinion cause internal conflict for them. A person can best try to understand a different culture by experiencing what it is like to attend a cultural event of a different ethnicity other than their own. (Mogan 2009, para. 3).” I feel many people think we are taking advantage of the American dream but not accepting the American way. The biggest conflict we get with most of our clients is we should be embracing the American language if we want to live in America. I understand that concept but I think we are accepting the American way but not as they think. The people I know that cannot speak English very well, try every day to better themselves in that area. I learn by communicating with our clients and learning how to associate it in our lives. We do not expect to have a translator everywhere we go. We know if we want something we have to earn it and get it ourselves. We know we are the immigrants and we are trying to fit in. The only way I know how to get people to understand where we are coming from and to know we understand we have to embrace America as a whole and we are not visitors but this is now our home. We must find a way to communicate our differences and be able to get to an understanding of our differences and our likeness. Researchers for the Proconcil Foundation urges, “In order to advance towards a more habitable world, we must work on our intergenerational comprehension and communication” (Terrón & Bohórquez, p. 2010, Basic Competencies Skills, para. 2).
Alternatives:
What I have learned from this course is trying to put myself in others shoes and be other oriented. I am offended by their lack of understanding of our second language but when I think about why they are offended I can understand why more communication is needed to get the problem to a more understanding environment. I began to understand they feel offended because most Vietnamese nail manicurist felt the same way I did before and maybe someone never explained to them why we speak Vietnamese in our work place to each other, or what we really are saying most of the time when we are speaking in Vietnamese. When the problem showed itself, I learned, instead of coming to it with a defensive attitude but I should approach it with a more open mind of how to explain to the clients why we speak in Vietnamese. I need to listen to my customers to hear what they have to say and what I need to do to make them feel more welcome and not feel they are interfering with our conversation. Listening as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond emphasizes, “process of selecting, attending to, creating meaning from, remembering, and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages” (2010, p. 118). I should not make my customers feel like they are the out-group but help them understand we are just more comfortable talking in our language and we are not trying to offend anyone. Out-group as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond states, “a racial, cultural, religious, or ethnic group different from one’s own” (2010, p. 287). My clients may not come from Vietnam or understand what made us come to America but we can help them to understand we are just trying to fit in but still be able to express our need for some similarity of home. Similarity as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond states, “having comparable personalities, values, upbringing, personal experiences, attitudes, and interests” (2010, p. 259). What I have learned from my research is, “rather than trying to “blend in” with the culture, it may be more beneficial for expatriates to be more open about their own culture and origin” ( Pederson, 2011, para. 6). We have to all learn to communicate what makes us feel comfortable and uncomfortable but in a more approachable manner without making the other person feel offended or to defend themselves. Usually when communicated in this manner will make the other person feel uncomfortable or get defensive without solving any problem. Usually when I have communicate my belief in this manner, the customer feels very defensive about what I said because I have them feel like they are racist and most people do not like to be called or assumed to be racist.
Challenges:
The challenges I have come upon is within myself. It is very hard for me to consume my anger when it comes in ignorant people about other culture. It is harder for me I would say because growing up when many children and adults make fun of you for being different, I did not get the chance to stand up for myself for being scared and not knowing really why I was being made fun of but now I am older and understand, I feel the anger build up from those years of being outcast. What makes it harder is when these customers make them out to be more educated than I am but still cannot grasp the concept of individuality. They put me down for coming from an immigrant family and make me feel as if I have taken something away from their children and given it to myself. I once tried very hard our language. We usually talk about what price we should be charging you or explaining what the customer wants done if the nail technician does not understand. We are just trying to help the nail technician without making her feel incompetent.” After saying all this to the customer and her still not understanding and still requesting us to speak in English because we are in America that gets to me. I usually want to tell the person to go to an American nail salon to tell a customer why we spoke Vietnamese when speaking to each other when customers were around. I said, “we speak in Vietnamese because we are just more comfortable speaking in and don’t ever come to our nail salon if it makes her that uncomfortable because now she is making us feel uncomfortable. It is very hard to put yourself out there to explain to people where you’re from and why you do things the way you do and for them to not understand. Sometimes I feel the best solution is to not respond and just ignore the customer after he/she tells me not to speak in Vietnamese anymore. Many of the customers I have encounter with this conflict usually comes back several times without speaking to us but come back for our services but then understand us more and began to accept who we are. Then they began to explain to us the problem the encounter when they first came to our salon and help us to comprehend the problem and how to resolve it. It is much nicer to hear feedback than to hear criticism. Feedback as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond states, “response to a message” (2010, p. 10).
Outcomes:
Of course, most of the first several outcomes were not very nice. I need to improve on my skill of communicating when people do not understand my point of view. A skill is “behavior that improves the effectiveness or quality of communication with others” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2010, p. 104). I usually end up not speaking to the client for the rest of the service or ended up walking out on them. This one time, the customer was being very rude and I did not know what to do, so I asked my manager in Vietnamese if he wanted me to kick her out. Right when she heard me speaking in Vietnamese she said, “I think it is very rude of you guys to speak in Vietnamese because I feel you guys or talking about me. You’re in America so you should be speaking in English not Puerto Rican or Laos or wherever you’re from.” I tried to calmly explain to her “I am speaking in Vietnamese because it is much easier for us to communicate to each other that way and it should not matter if we speak Vietnamese to each other as long as I understand you and speak English to you.” Well, she did not like the explanation and went on and on for several minutes before I could not take it anymore and told her to get out while I was still working on her nails. I told her she was not welcome here anymore and she should go somewhere they only speak English and nothing else. She was not very happy and tried to scare me by telling me she was going to call the police if I did not finish the service. I did not care and ended up walking out of the salon and letting my co-worker finished the job. I think my approached to that situation started out right but ended wrong. I should have been more patient. I should have stated my thoughts in a better manner and if she still did not understand or did not care and wanted me to speak in English, I should have just comply and told her after the services that her patronage was not welcome here anymore. Even though I still would not welcome her back but at least I waited to explain to her why and to let her know how professional I was to finish the service even though I was not happy. I need to be more mindful. To be mindful as Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond suggests, “Aware of cultural differences and the connection between thoughts and deeds in one’s interactions with someone from a background different from one’s own” (2010, p. 108). I just need to realize that not everybody understands our culture or our own little world in the nail salon but to understand that we are different and others are different too. I need to learn to adapt to others choice of action. To adapt according to Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond, “to adjust one’s behavior in accord with what someone else does. We can adapt based on the individual, the relationship, and the situation” (2010, p. 112). Just because we are in America and the Constitution tells us to treat each other with respect and not to discriminate, does not mean I should treat ignorant people the same way they treat me. I should treat ignorant with education and respect, so when they look back they know they are ignorant and be embarrassed with their actions.

References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2010). Interpersonal communication. Boston: Pearson, Inc.
Kokemuller, N. (2012). What is diversity and how does it work? Chron. Retrieved from http://smallbusiness.chron.com/diversity-impact-work-15985.html
Morgan, A. M. (2009, April 26). The important of diversity in everyday life [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://suite101.com/article/the-importance-of-diversity-in-everyday-life- a112525
Pederson, T. (2011, January, 12). Diversity may foster helpfulness in daily life. Associate News Editor. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/01/12/diversity-may-foster- helpfulness-in-daily-life/22543.html
Terrón, J. M., & Bohórquez, E. B. (2010). Cultural differences. Proconcil Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.unescoetxea.org/ext/manual_EDS/pdf/09_diversidad_ingles.pdf