Neil Young's Perpetually Solitary Figure

When Buffalo Springfield dissolved in 1968 after a whirlwind of drug-related arrests involving Neil Young and fellow band members Stephen Stills and Bruce Palmer, many questioned what would become of the multifaceted singer-songwriter. From the ashes rose a slightly ill-at-ease Young, feeling out of place and unsure as a solo artist after his contributions to one of the first successful super-groups of the 1960's. Unpredictable as ever, accompanied by soaring strings and contemplations about his inability or lack of desire to make a deeper connection with the world, Young's prevalent themes of seclusion and loneliness boil to the surface in Self-Titled. Proving to be a richly effortless hands-on production, with an organic sound that became a solid foundation for his future songwriting, Young's “first” album is a whirlwind of emotion which showcases a raw and burgeoning artist.

“Know when you see him
Nothing can free him
Step aside, open wide
It's the loner...”

(The Loner, Neil Young – Neil Young, 1969)

At the forefront of an otherwise melancholy album, Young`s unabashed and powerful delivery of 'The Loner' has become one of his most lasting compositions. Widely considered to be an introspective piece, many fans and critics have placed the “Loner” label upon him in casual conversation and press articles alike. The title itself hints at what may be another lethargic downer of a song, but it is surprisingly up-tempo with richly produced strings which compliment Young`s powerfully driven guitar and confident vocals. As we’re introduced to the subject, one might feel as though they’re looking in on how Young believes others view him in his daily life. Opening with “He's a perfect stranger, like a cross of himself and a fox”, Young begins by creating an image of a pariah, akin to the sly and stealthy creature, which is rarely ever accompanied by others. Nearly all species of fox are solitary animals, relying on their own quick wits and ability to utilize their surroundings to avoid being detected. How perfect then is the revelation of “He's a feeling arranger and a changer of the ways he talks”, hinting at the almost sociopathic tendency to avoid interaction with others by simply changing personas so as to avoid directing too much attention unto oneself? When he proclaims “Step aside, open wide, it’s the loner”, Young gives us the impression that this is someone who exudes an aura that causes people to give them more than enough space without having to ask for it. The reason for this is hinted at by the end of the song, when we discover that “There was a woman he knew about a year or so ago. She had something that he needed and he pleaded with her not to go.” Perhaps the reason why people keep a reasonable distance from the “loner” is simply that his outsides have begun to match the sullen and distrustful feelings he is leaving to stew inside himself. When we see someone along that way that carries a dark cloud around with them, the natural response would be to avoid them for fear of their gloomy disposition being reflected back onto us. “Lately I've found myself
Losing my mind
Knowing how badly I need her
It's something hard to find...”

(If I Could Have Her Tonight, Neil Young – Neil Young, 1969)

The placement of “The Loner”, with its driven, rock steady feel lends itself as a deliberate effort to provide a preemptive boost in preparation for the heart weary musings of “If I Could Have Her Tonight”. The pairing of these songs in sequence is nothing short of transitional perfection, as poppy drums and airy strings give way to the ethereal melodies of Young’s short and sweet reflection about desiring a bond with a woman. The lyrics are honest in their scarcity, making it easily relatable and drawing listeners in naturally. “Do you think that she'd like to do anything I would, or would she leave me?” he asks, showing that the subject is still doubting himself and the motives of others.
“Can I stay here for a while
Can I see your sweet sweet smile
Old enough now to change your nameWhen so many love you, is it the same?”

(Cowgirl in the Sand, Neil Young – Neil Young, 1969)

Among the most popular songs off of his self-titled debut, 'Cowgirl in the Sand' is one of only two tracks on the album which Young still performs live. Upon initially listening to it, the song may give less contemplative types the impression that 'Cowgirl in the Sand' is a slightly bitter and potentially accusatory composition. Thought to be about young women moving to California after leaving high school, Young seems to express a general distaste for these promiscuous youth. “When so many love you, is it the same?” What he may really be trying to get across in this song is that this is someone far beyond his reach; even though it may seem like he is casting judgment on her for giving herself to several men, Young really wants this woman to give him the attention he desires. Constructed along similar lines as ‘Down by the River’, the minor melodies of his songwriting really drive home how he may have thought it tragic that these girls fritter away their feelings at such an impressionable age. Pondering “Hello ruby in the dust, has your band begun to rust?” he laments that he could not have provided this woman with a genuine connection which could have lasted, and as a result, she is now tarnished and no longer as appealing. In the end, though, he refers to her as “woman of my dreams”, indicating that his need to have her attention trumps whatever moral conflict he has.

“When we were living together
I thought that I knew you would stay
Still when you left me I tried to pretend
We could make it some way...”

(What did you do to my life, Neil Young – Neil Young, 1969)

When deconstructing his heartbroken and doubtless contemplations of loss in 'What Did You Do To My Life', one can't help but recall Young's work with Buffalo Springfield, particularly 'I Am A Child'. Heavily fuzzed up, syrupy harmonies starkly contrast with the morose subject matter of this song, as he paints the listener an austere picture of a man who can find no meaning in everyday rituals after his partner has up and left him. Of all the tracks on Young’s album, it is one of the most straight-forward in terms of feeling emotionally disconnected. As he listlessly exhales “It isn't fair that I should wake up at dawn and not find you there”, we can't help but dwell on our own struggles dealing with the discomfort and loneliness felt after the end of a relationship. Jack Neitsche provides a rich layering of strings to compliment Young's soulful guitar, adding an eerily dreamy feel which initially lulls us into believing this piece may have a less dismal conclusion. With the afterthought “It's hard enough losing without the confusion of knowing I tried”, he expresses the frustration many have surely felt after trying to breathe life into a dying relationship, only to have it be in vain. He leaves us with the revelation “But you've made your mind up, that I'll be alone now, there's nothing to hide”, continuing in the sardonic fashion of previous tracks, leaving us feeling emotionally exhausted and alone.

As a whole, Neil Young’s self-titled solo debut is an often over-looked gem within an extensive discography of which themes of alienation, loss and feeling disconnected from the world are in no short supply. Despite being widely considered an extension of his work with Buffalo Springfield more than an official debut album, Young delivered a cohesive and well balanced listening experience which was both familiar and fresh. He manages to evoke the forlorn feelings of a man trapped inside himself while simultaneously plucking at heart strings with infectious harmonies that give the listener a subtle lift above the heavy subject matter. It is glaringly clear in Young’s future work that his songwriting on ‘Neil Young’ had already matured well beyond that of his contemporaries at the time, while carving out his place amongst some of the best folk-rock musicians of the past 40 years.