ing manualTHE NLP PROFESSIONAL PRACTITIONER MANUAL
Official Certification Manual

Updated with the most recent NLP developments and techniques

By Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso

2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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Table of Contents
THE NLP PROFESSIONAL PRACTITIONER MANUAL .............................. 1 Neurological Levels.............................................................................. 4 A Model of Communication and Personality ......................................... 5 Deletion ............................................................................................. 6 Distortion ........................................................................................... 6 Generalisation ..................................................................................... 6 Meta-programs ................................................................................... 6 Values ............................................................................................... 7 Beliefs................................................................................................ 7 Memories ........................................................................................... 7 Decisions............................................................................................ 7 Representational Systems ................................................................... 8 Lead & Primary Systems .................................................................... 9 Visual.............................................................................................. 9 Auditory .......................................................................................... 9 Kinesthetic....................................................................................... 9 Auditory digital ............................................................................... 10 Predicates ........................................................................................ 10 List of Predicate phrases ..................................................................... 11 Rapport.............................................................................................. 12 Matching and Mirroring....................................................................... 12 6 Main Elements ................................................................................ 12 1. Match the modality...................................................................... 13 2. Match and mirror their physiology ................................................. 13 3. Match their voice and language ..................................................... 13 4. Match their breathing .................................................................. 13 5. Match the size of the pieces of information they use......................... 13 6. Match their common experience .................................................... 13 Calibration........................................................................................ 13 Pacing and Leading ............................................................................ 13 Anchoring .......................................................................................... 14 The four steps to Anchoring ................................................................ 15 The four keys to successful anchoring................................................... 15 When to trigger an anchor .................................................................. 16 State Elicitation Script ..................................................................... 16 Stacking Anchors............................................................................... 17 Eye Movements .................................................................................. 19 The Power of Language ..................................................................... 22 Levels of Abstraction ......................................................................... 24 The Milton Model and Other Hypnotic Language Patterns .................. 25 The Meta Model.................................................................................. 37 Practice Session - Identifying and Responding Using the Meta Model 41 Goals And Outcomes .......................................................................... 52 Keys to an Achievable Outcome ......................................................... 55
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Submodalities .................................................................................... 59 Strategies .......................................................................................... 62 Formal Strategy Elicitation .................................................................. 64 Informal Strategy Elicitation ............................................................. 65 Other questions to ask to Elicit Strategies .......................................... 65 Synesthesia Patterns ....................................................................... 65 Utilisation ......................................................................................... 66 Strategy Change ............................................................................... 66 Strategy Redesign........................................................................... 66 Strategy Design.............................................................................. 66 Strategy Installation .......................................................................... 66 Motivation Strategies ......................................................................... 66 Key points about Learning Strategies................................................. 67 Decision Making Strategy Exercise ....................................................... 68 Strategy Scrambler............................................................................ 69 Framing and Reframing ..................................................................... 70 Other framing techniques/Meeting techniques ....................................... 73 Outcome frame .............................................................................. 73 Agreement frame............................................................................ 73 Relevancy frame............................................................................. 73 Contrast frame ............................................................................... 73 ‘As if’ frame ................................................................................... 73 Back track frame ............................................................................ 73 Parts Integration ............................................................................... 74 Fast Phobia Process ........................................................................... 75 Time Lines ......................................................................................... 77 New Behaviour Generator .................................................................. 81

2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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Neurological Levels
Learning occurs at different levels. Originally this model was developed by Robert Dilts. 1. The Environment: the context, our surroundings and the other people we relate to 2. Behaviour: the specific actions we take 3. Capabilities (and skills): what we can do 4. Beliefs (and values): what we believe and what matters to us 5. Identity: our basic sense of self, our core values and mission in life 6. Spiritual: most people have something beyond themselves which they relate to

Spirituality/Purpose Identity Beliefs & Values Capabilities Behaviour Environment

Figure 1: Neurological Levels

2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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A Model of Communication and Personality
Behavioural change work is based on how we communicate with ourselves and others. As an external event happens, we make an Internal Representation (I/R) of that event. That I/R combines with our physiology and creates a state. When we say ‘state’ we are referring to the emotional state of the individual. If you consider that life is simply a variety of states which we feel, then the value of understanding these components becomes more apparent. The state that we are in is a combination of internal pictures, sounds, feelings and self talk therefore any state we are in is the result of these components. The external event comes in through our sensory input channels which are:      Visual – the things we see in our mind or in reality Auditory – sounds or words we hear. We hear them either externally or in our own minds Kinesthetic – any emotions or sensations including touch and texture Olfactory - smells Gustatory – tastes

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As the external event comes through these channels it is filtered and we then process the information for that event. We delete, distort and generalise what comes in. This also explains why when an event happens to two people in exactly the same way, they respond differently.

Deletion
There are thousands of events happening all around us at any time. Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our experience and not others. We then overlook or omit others. Without deletion, we would be faced with much too much information to handle with our conscious mind. It has been said that we’d go mad if we didn’t delete the things we don’t need to focus on.

Distortion
Distortion occurs when we make shifts in our experience of sensory data by making misrepresentations of reality. ‘The map is not the territory’ and ‘this does not equal that,’ hence with distortion, we may choose to represent something to ourselves in a way to get us to take certain actions i.e. imagining that you’ll get sacked if you don’t get out of bed on time will make you jump out of bed if keeping the job is important to you! Distortion thus helps us in the process of motivating ourselves.

Generalisation
When we draw conclusions based on a few experiences, this is generalisation. At its best, generalization is one of the ways that we learn. If you consider that learning is simply the action of associating something you don’t know to something you know, then by generalising some of the unique experiences we’ve had, it gives us a greater propensity to learn. It is also a form of creating alternatives. So, the question is, when two people have the same stimulus, why don't they have the same response? The answer is, because we delete, distort, and generalize the information from the outside. We delete, distort and generalize the information that comes in from our senses based on one of five filters. The filters are, Meta Programs, belief systems, values, decisions, and memories.

Meta-programs
A meta-program is a general behaviour pattern that we all have. An example of a meta-program is called the ‘Direction Filter’. This has two principle elements which are: Towards and Away. Some people do things in life because they consider that by doing it that they are moving ‘Towards’ pleasure. Other people do exactly the same thing, however they are doing it because they consider that they’re moving ‘Away’ from pain. Neither is better, and both are useful. They get the same outcome for very different reasons – one is moving towards what they want, the other away from what they don’t want.

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Values
Values are essentially an evaluation filter. They are how we decide whether our actions are good, bad, right or wrong. They also help us decide how we feel about our actions. Unlike meta-programs, values are in a hierarchy where the value at the top is the most important. Challenges in life are sometimes values conflicts – i.e. the values of say variety and security when deciding where to go on holiday.

Beliefs
Beliefs are generalisations about how the world is. They are the presuppositions that we have about the way the world is that either create or deny us personal power. In effect, they are our on/off switch for our ability to do anything in the world. It is important to understand our beliefs as they explain why we choose to do what we do.

Memories
This is our representation to ourselves of how we reacted in the past. They lead to beliefs and support our values. Some psychologists believe that our reactions in the present are actually reactions to collections of memories which are organised in a certain way from the past (gestalts) and the present plays little part in our behaviour.

Decisions
Decisions relate to our memories and may create beliefs or affect our perceptions through time. Although we sometimes make these consciously, often it happens at an unconscious level therefore we may not be aware of the cause.

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Representational Systems
The main information processing styles are called: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Auditory digital. They are also referred to as modalities or representational systems (rep systems) – these are ways we re-present the world through our five senses. When information reaches our brains, it is given meaning and forms a subjective experience of the world – this is our representation and perception. Although we use all of the representational systems, we tend to have a preference, just like there are people who prefer certain types of food. Statistics suggest that in a developed country, around 60% of people are predominantly visual with 20% Auditory and 20% Kinesthetic. It is worth bearing this statistic in mind when creating marketing or advertising material. The representational system that we use predominantly is our own special language of our experience and it embraces all the mental processes of thinking, remembering, imagination, perception and consciousness. By understanding these more clearly, it allows us to communicate better with ourselves and others and control the way we interpret things. The representational systems we tend to use most frequently are:     Visual (V) seeing Auditory (A) hearing Kinesthetic (K) feeling Auditory digital (Ad) inner dialog or self talk.

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Lead & Primary Systems
Within the representational systems, there is a lead and primary system. The lead system is accessed instinctively and may not reflect the thinking pattern of the person. For example, when asked a question, a person may instinctively look down and left (Auditory digital) as they are repeating the question to themselves in their head before responding. The primary system is that which is preferred in communication (i.e. a predominantly Visual person) and may be different from the lead system. When building rapport, matching rep systems proves very powerful. Reflected in the concept of pacing and leading, after having matched another’s rep system, one may lead another to a preferred rep system.

Visual
Visual people tend to do things more quickly whether that be moving or speaking. A picture says a thousand words and they’re describing in words the images which are flying through their mind. They may speak in a higher pitch and they tend to sit more erect on the edge of their seats, with their eyes up and generally breath more shallowly from the top of their lungs. They use gestures a lot which tend to be nearer head height and have no problem throwing their hands in the air. They generally have a neat, organised and well groomed appearance and like things to ‘look right.’ They find it difficult to remember verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. They are less distracted by noise and they use visual predicates like, I see what you mean or I get the picture. Physically, they are often thin and wiry and their hands will reflect this too with long slender fingers. Their handwriting will also likely have more sharp points to it and be written quickly.

Auditory
People who are predominantly auditory do things more rhythmically. Their voice tends to me be mid range and they talk to themselves, either internally or externally; they may even move their lips when they’re reading. They breathe from the middle of their chest and use some hand gestures but not extensively. They can repeat instructions back to you easily and are distracted by noise. Auditory thinkers often tilt their head to one side in conversation, as if lending an ear or on the telephone. They memorise things in steps or sequence and like to be told things and hear feedback in conversations. They tend to use auditory predicates such as, that rings a bell or that clicks, and are interested in what you have to say. They can be excellent listeners and enjoy music and spoken voice. Their handwriting is between the visual and kinesthetic styles.

Kinesthetic
Kinesthetic people typically breathe from the bottom of their lungs so you’ll see their stomachs going in and out. They do things much more slowly than a visual person and have a deep voice. When they speak, there are long pauses between statements and they process things that are said to them to determine the feelings they get. They respond well to touch and physical rewards. They use few hand gestures and generally stand closer to the person they’re talking with. They use predicates such as, I want to get a handle on it or a firm foundation and will be able to access their emotions more readily. Physically they tend to be more solid looking and generally their hands are larger or chunky (so that they can get to grips with things). They are interested in how you feel and memorise
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by walking through the process or doing it. Their handwriting is more rounded and it is likely that they’ll push more firmly on the page.

Auditory digital
The Auditory digital person will likely manifest characteristics of the other 3 representational systems. In addition, they will talk to themselves a lot and like to make sense of things and understand them. They place a high value on logic and also like detail. They also use words which are abstract with no direct sensory link. They use predicates like, I understand your motivation or that computes with me. As a result of their emotions being attached to the words that they’re using to describe, they often are less emotionally attached to outcomes (double dissociation).

Predicates
Predicates are words which associate to a rep system. Visual
Appear Clear Crystal Dawn Envision Focused Foggy Hazy Illuminate Imagine Look Picture Reveal See Show View

Auditory
Be all ears Be heard Deaf Dissonance Harmonise Hear Listen Make Music Question Resonate Rings a bell Silence Sound(s) Tune in Unheard of

Kinesthetic
Catch on Concrete Feel Grasp Hard Scrape Slip Tap into Throw out Touch Turn around Unfeeling

Auditory digital
Change Conceive Consider Decide Distinct Experience Insensitive Know Learn Motivate Perceive Process Sense Think Understand

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List of Predicate phrases
Visual
Appears to me Bird’s eye view Catch a glimpse Clear as day Clearly defined Dim view Get an eyeful Get perspective of Hazy idea In light of In person In view of Looks like Make a scene Make it out Mental image Mental picture Mind’s eye Naked eye Paint a picture Scope it out See to it Showing off Sight for sore eyes Staring off into space Take a peek Tunnel vision Under your nose Up front

Auditory
Afterthought Call on Clearly expressed Describe in detail Earful Give an account of Give me your ear Grant an audience Heard voices Hidden message Hold your tongue Idle talk Inquire into Keynote speaker Loud and Clear Manner of speaking Pay attention Power of speech Purrs like a kitten Rings a bell State your purpose To tell the truth Tongue-tied Unheard of Utterly Voiced an opinion Well informed Within hearing Word for word

Kinesthetic
All washed up Boils down to Come to grips with Control yourself Cool, calm, collected Firm foundations Get a handle of Get a load of this Get hold of Get in touch with Get the drift of Hand in hand Hang in there Heated argument Hold it! Hold on! Hot head Keep your shirt on Know-how Lay your cards out Pain in the neck Pull some strings Sharp as a tack Slipped my mind Smooth operator Start from scratch Stiff upper lip Too much of a hassle Underhanded

Auditory digital
A particular way Can you comprehend Change your mind Consider both sides Consider your options Decide what works Deem it correct Discern the answer Distinctly differently Experience the best Gain knowledge of Get them motivated Get to know them Give me your opinion I sense I know I suppose I can I think you’re right I understand Know the details Know what it’s about Know what’s wrong Learn about yourself Learn what to do Make your mind up Perceive the truth Practice till perfect Process this Sensitive subject

You may sometimes hear phrases or words with an olfactory (smell) or gustatory (taste) connection like, that puts a bad taste in my mouth or that smells fishy. When creating rapport, simply match these expressions when they occur and consider them as the kinesthetic rep system.

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Rapport
The basis for rapport is that when people are like each other, they like each other. The two primary ways in which people gain rapport is through Matching and Mirroring. Studies illustrate that the communication between people breaks down into three areas. Words count for 7% of communication, tonality 38% and physiology 55%.

Matching and Mirroring
Rapport is the connection between two or more people. By having rapport with someone, you achieve much however without rapport, things can be impossible. To be a master communicator, it is important that you understand the varying styles of communication and adapt your behaviour appropriately so that what you communicate is received in the way you desire. Remember, communication is the response you get. Think of people with whom you get on very well. Notice the kinds of words and body actions they use. Also, be aware of their speed of communication and volume. Do they speak in pictures a lot or do they prefer getting to grips with how they feel? You will probably notice that those you connect best with, naturally use a similar style of communication as yourself.

6 Main Elements
People like people who are like themselves or who are like how they would like to be. When we want to improve our communication with someone, the primary way to do this is by matching and mirroring them. This is the replication of what they are doing either exactly or as a reverse i.e. if you were facing them and they lifted their right hand, then you would lift your left hand to mirror them, and right hand to match them.

1. Match the modality
By realising someone’s modality (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Auditory digital), it is possible to communicate in a way in which they see, hear, feel and understand you best.

2. Match and mirror their physiology
When we replicate the physical actions of another such as their hand movements, posture, facial expression, eye blinking rate or movements, it undeniably sends a message to their unconscious mind that we are like them.

3. Match their voice and language
By matching the way that they speak such as the tone, volume and tempo. If they use specific words you can often use these too. By using their predicates, rapport will be reinforced.
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4. Match their breathing
By breathing at the same rate, from the same location (high, middle or low). As this is a very subtle method, it can have a very high impact. In addition, it allows you to create empathy of how they are feeling.

5. Match the size of the pieces of information they use
If you are speaking with someone who is always talking about specific details, then by matching this, that will build rapport. Similarly, if someone is always talking about the bigger picture, then do likewise to build rapport.

6. Match their common experience
By matching other people’s similar interests, rapport is built very quickly. Matching hobbies, backgrounds or beliefs is what we stereotypically determine as rapport. This is what usually builds relationships when they first begin.

Calibration
To test whether you are in rapport with someone, you can become aware of their reactions to your communication. This is called calibration. By watching how they react to you in these minute ways, you can change your communication with them accordingly.

Pacing and Leading
Another way to determine if you have rapport with someone is by noticing how their communication changes as you change yours. If someone is speaking very quickly and you match the speed and then slow down, if they also slow their speaking, then you are pacing them. By this rationale, if you notice someone copying you, i.e. they lift their glass just after you do, then you are pacing them. This is a powerful sign of rapport.

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Anchoring
In the context of behavioural change work, anchoring refers to ‘a stimulus which triggers a specific physiological or emotional state or behaviour’. It gives us the ability to access desired feelings at lightning speed which we can utilise to help us achieve the outcomes we desire. Sometimes we create anchors involuntarily. For example, if you think of your favourite teacher’s name from school, or the smell of a certain food or perhaps a photo on holiday or a song you heard, you may find that you get a whole host of emotions instantly. These can empower or disempower, motivate or demotivate. Throughout our lives, we often spend a lot of time reacting unconsciously to the effects of anchors. Anchors can be created in any rep system. When helping someone anchor a state, you can touch them in a unique and specific way which can be repeated i.e. touching them on a shoulder or knuckle. You can also get the person to apply the anchor themselves when you give them a verbal indication to do so.

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Creating an Empowering Anchor
Firstly decide what state you want. Be precise – a word or two will usually do. i.e. Confident, Unstoppable, Calm, Resourceful.

The four steps to Anchoring
1. Have the person RECALL a specific time when they had the emotion they wish to anchor. 2. Provide a specific stimulus at the peak of the state, ANCHOR (see diagram) 3. Change the person’s state - pattern INTERRUPT 4. Set off the anchor to test, EVOKE

The four keys to successful anchoring
1. The Intensity of the experience 2. The Timing of the anchor 3. The Uniqueness of the Anchor 4. The Replication of the stimulus 5. (the Number of times repeated – this is an optional additional stage)

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When to trigger an anchor

Intensity State

Anchor

Fire Anchor 5-15 seconds Time

Figure 3: When to trigger an anchor

State Elicitation Script
You’re looking for a specific time they can associate to. Turn up the submodalities if necessary. When they’re in this state, they’re fully associated. Get ready to apply the anchor. As you see they’re about to peak, apply the anchor and hold for 5-15 seconds (or get them to do it).
Figure X: Script Anchoring

Can you think of a time, a specific time when you were totally ……………? As you go back to that time where you were totally …………… now step into your body and see what you saw, hear what you heard, say the things you said to yourself and feel what you felt.

Touch them in a specific and unique way and hold it for 5-15 seconds

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Stacking Anchors
Stacking anchors allows you to access a variety of states from launching a single anchor. To do so, simply determine the states at first and then use the same process as for a single anchor, however repeat as necessary for each emotion. Often this is done to create a ‘Resource’ anchor, which allows you to instantly move to a powerful, resourceful state. Some examples:     Can you think of a time when you were totally motivated? Can you think of a time when you felt completely confident? Can you think of a time when you felt whole-heartedly loved? Can you remember a time when you were totally resourceful?

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Collapsing Anchors
Collapsing anchors is a technique used to neutralise a negative anchor by absorbing it into a positive anchor. It is based on the assumption that, given the option, human beings will normally select an outcome which is pleasurable/positive over one which is painful/negative. In groups of 3 or more: 1 A helps B to elicit an unresourceful state which B would like to eliminate and anchors that state. 2 Break to a neutral state. 3 Repeat 1 and 2 until when B is neutral and you “fire” the anchor, B gets some of that unresourceful state automatically. 4 A helps B to elicit a highly resourceful state which B typically enjoys very much and anchors that state in a different place (this state need not relate to the unresourceful state in any way – a logical connection is not required). 5 Break to a neutral state. 6 Repeat 4 and 5 until when B is neutral and you “fire” the anchor, B gets some of the resourceful state automatically. 7 A then asks B to go back into the unresourceful state and fires off the “unresourceful” anchor. 6 As soon as A sees that B has entered that state, A says “and put that over the top of it” as he/she simultaneously fires the “resourceful” anchor. 7 Repeat this last step twice. Can B access the unresourceful state at all now? Even when the unresourceful anchor is fired? Swap until everyone has had a turn at being A, B, and observer. What does this exercise remind you of (that you've already experienced in this course)?

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Eye Movements
These cues help demonstrate which sensory representational system the person is currently accessing: visual, auditory or kinaesthetic (including gustatory and olfactory). VR – Visual Remembered When people look up to their left, they are generally accessing pictures they have actually seen before; eg, an orange. VC – Visual Constructed When people look up to their right, they are generally constructing images they have not actually seen before; eg, an orange with purple spots. AR – Auditory Remembered When people look sideways to their left, they are generally hearing something they have heard before; eg, a piece of music, or their mother’s voice. AC – Auditory Constructed When people look sideways to their right, they are generally hearing something they have not heard before; eg, a piece of music they are creating for the first time, the sound of a glass bell. AD - Auditory Digital When people look down to their left, they are generally talking to themselves in their own voice. K – Kinaesthetic When people look down to their right, they are generally accessing emotions or bodily sensations. Keep in mind that these are indeed generalizations. Many eye movements happen too fast or almost too fast to track. Just because someone looks up and to their right when answering a question does not mean he or she is lying! Additionally, some folk are simply not neurologically organized this way.

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Spend some time now practising with these 6 accessing cues.
Exercise 1 – Practise Accessing Cues In groups of 3 or more, B holds an eye accessing position and A “labels” it (ie, says whether it is visual remembered, auditory constructed, or whatever). Others in the group repeat A’s label or challenge it. Exercise 2 – Eye Accessing Cues in Business, Making Decisions/Solving Problems Work in groups of 2 or more. The first time through this exercise, have A ask B to think of a time when he/she solved a difficult business problem. A then asks B a series of questions about that time. B doesn't answer, but just thinks about the answers internally while A observes the eye accessing cues and makes notes on the diagrams to show which way the eyes went. A and B swap and repeat. Here are the questions: Where were you and what were you doing? How did you solve the problem? What was going on inside your head?

Exercise 2 (Part 2) The second time through this exercise, have A ask B to think of a time when he/she made an important business or career decision. A then asks B a series of questions about that time. As before B doesn't answer, but just thinks about the answers internally while A observes the eye accessing cues and makes notes on the diagrams to show which way the eyes went. B considers the relative ease or difficulty in accessing the information required by A each time. A and B swap and repeat.

Here are the questions: Where were you when you made that decision? How did you arrive at that decision? What was going on inside your head?

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Now in your group consider the following questions: Who found it easiest to access information in one eye position than another?

Who found that one position seemed to be unfamiliar or underused?

What new responses arose, which hadn't occurred in the first demonstration of eye accessing cues?

In what other contexts could this material be useful?

2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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The Power of Language
LEVELS OF ABSTRACTION
Much of people's miscommunication is a result of individuals communicating at different levels of abstraction. Some people think in terms of the "big picture" or very abstract ideas and thoughts while others prefer to think in "concrete terms" and pay attention to details and specifics. Being able to recognize the level of abstraction where others are talking and being able to match or pace that level of abstraction will result in improved communication. After reaching agreement on that level of abstraction, mutual outcomes can then be achieved by leading the conversation laterally, to the more concrete or by staying at the present level. Communication may continue to move quickly from the abstract to the concrete or from the concrete to the abstract. However, recognizing and utilizing the level of abstraction on which the conversation is taking place will greatly improve communication.

The Milton Model & Meta Model & Chunking
The Milton Model or hypnotic language moves the conversation towards the abstract. The Meta Model moves the conversation towards the more specific or concrete. One way to use the levels of abstraction is to move to the more abstract to obtain agreement among parties and then gradually move down to more specifics once agreement has been reached. Some people actually will not require that more concrete details be provided because they are comfortable with the ambiguity. Other people will require great detail. Therefore, reach agreement on the larger abstract idea and then provide only the details required. In NLP we change levels of abstraction by chunking up, chunking down or chunking laterally. ‘Chunking up’ refers to moving to more general or abstract pieces of information. While ‘chunking down’ means moving to more specific or detailed information. To chunk up on a piece of information, use the questions: What is this an example of? What is the intention? The Milton Model, which uses vague or abstract language, is an example of chunking up. To chunk down, use the questions: What is an example of this? What？Who？Where specifically? The Meta Model is an example of chunking down (who, what, where specifically) The following diagram on the next page is an example of how to use chunking up, chunking down, or moving laterally.

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EXERCISE:

This exercise provides practice recognizing and changing levels of abstraction. The exercise is completed in groups of 3 (A, B & C). Alternately the exercise can be practiced individually. A - thinks of or points to an object (noun) such as "tree" C - points up "Chunk Up", points down "Chunk Down", or points laterally "Chunk Laterally" B - responds by giving an example of the appropriate level of abstraction. For Example:

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Levels of Abstraction
BIG PICTURE THINKING OR ABSTRACT THINKING
ABSTRACTION CONTROLS THE SPECIFIC OVERWHELM MEANS TAKING TOO BIG OF CHUNKS INTUITION
What is this an example of? Why? For what purpose ... ?

EXISTENCE MOVEMENT TRANSPORTATION

TRAINS

AIRPLANE

CARS

BOATS BUSES

Classes and Categories

Parts

JAGUAR ACCORD LX SEDAN

HONDA PRELUDE EI 2 DOOR

WHEELS HUB CAPS LUG NUTS THREADS

BODY

DETAILED OR SPECIFICS THINKING MAKING DISTINCTIONS NIT PICKING MEANS TOO SMALL CHUNKS AND POLARITY THINKING SENSING

What are examples of this? What specifically? How specifically? What is a part of this? How do you know that? What stops you from ________?

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The Milton Model and Other Hypnotic Language Patterns
The Milton Model allows you to use language that is artfully vague so that clients can give it a meaning that is appropriate for them. The Milton Model can be used to pace and lead a person's reality, distract and utilize the conscious mind and to access the unconscious and the person's resources. The first three examples of each of the following language patterns will illustrate the use of that pattern on each of these three themes: a) Taking this seminar will make pervasive changes in your life. b) You should hire my communications firm. c) NLP is the world's greatest communication model. Write your theme in d) and e) and write an appropriate hypnotic statement for each of the following language patterns.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

1. Mind Reading Statements that claim to have the ability to know what someone else is thinking or feeling. a) I know that you are the type of person who wants to be really successful. I also know that this seminar will make the comprehensive changes you want to make. b) You realize that you need to improve you communication. All of my other clients were just at this point when they were able to see that it was in their own best interest to hire me. c) So many people just like you feel that NLP is the world's greatest communication model.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ I know that you are thinking ........ You think that …………. You realize that………… You have seen ................(visual) You have heard that .......(auditory) You feel that ..............(kinesthetic) 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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2. Lost Performative Statements of judgment, beliefs, or standards which are expressed in such a way that the individual who is making the judgment or setting the standard is not identified. a) It is going to make pervasive changes in your life. b) It has been proven that once you hire a communication firm like mine, Jim, that productivity goes up. What help do you need personally? c) One thing we know is that people who have studied NLP in depth think that it is the world's greatest communication model in the world.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ You're too serious about life. It is easy to .......... Many people think that ......... It's been proven that .......... All the best companies .........

3. Cause and Effect Statements that claim that there is a cause and effect relationship between one thing and another thing.
a) Coming to this seminar will cause you to begin to understand communication and begin to make changes in all areas of your life.

a) Now that we have realized that you have a communications problem we can begin the work to solve it. b) Studying the world's greatest communicators has led to a model that can be easily transferred to others, NLP. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Being on this task force will help you learn all about communication. Your being here means that you really want to learn. Your completing this assignment allows you to feel exceptionally good. 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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4. Complex Equivalent Statements that say that one thing is or means the same as another thing. a) Taking this seminar is one of the best ways to make sweeping changes. b) Since both of us have found that communication is success, how can we begin to work together to make you successful. c) NLP is the greatest communication model in the world.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ You're doing good work. You must be happy at your job. The reason you feel this way is .......... Our involvement with this means .......... Happiness is .......... Being in love means ........

5. Presuppositions What must already be assumed to be true for the statement being made to be true. Presuppositions are covered extensively earlier in this workshop and will not be repeated in detail here.
a) One of the more important facts about this pervasive change seminar is that it is totally tax deductible. b) Being excellent communicators, allows us to get more of what we want; how can we help you get what you want? c) The greatest communicators in the world use NLP techniques, some know it while others do not. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Everyone here already knows more about making changes than they think they know. After you finish this seminar, you too will have the skills to be able to influence, persuade and communicate at a much higher level.

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6. Universal Quantifiers Words that imply or state absolute conditions as being true.
a) Every time someone who has taken this seminar talks to me about the pervasive changes they have made, I feel all the work that I have done has been worth while. b) All of what I have said about my communication firm can benefit you in everything that you are going to do by starting now. c) NLP, the greatest communications model in the world today, says always put yourself in a state of excellence before giving a presentation. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Everyone can begin to feel totally relaxed, now. Every time you begin to feel this way you can remember all the ways you can change your feelings, now. Winston Churchill said, "Never, never, never, never give up." And he was right, wasn't he?

7. Modal Operators Words that suggest that something is necessary or possible and which define the boundaries of a person's model of the world. (must, can, may, try, intend to, have to, should, able to, pretend to, ought to, possible to, have to, suppose to, decide to, wish to, got to, need to, let, allow, want to, could, permit, choose to, would, will, won't,) Match your use of modal operators to the client's modal operators.
a) One thing we know is that we must develop the capability to be an excellent communicator; this seminar will help you make many changes. b) When you give yourself permission to hire my firm, Jim, we can begin to work on getting results right now. c) From what I have been able to discover, NLP could be the greatest communication model in the world. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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8. Nominallizations Words that change a process or verb into a static event or noun.
a) When you have completed this seminar and made comprehensive changes, you'll agree that this was an excellent decision. b) Many organizations like yours; Jim, make the decision to use our company to improve their communication. c) NLP is the greatest communication model in the world. d) d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

We stand for love, peace and liberty, don't you? Confusion is just the beginning of understanding. So, you're not stubborn, you're just persistent.

9. Unspecified Verbs Verbs that do not have phrases that specify how or on what an action is performed.
a) At this seminar you can begin to make many changes, now. b) c) d) For all those reasons, you should hire our communications firm. NLP can create changes in your life because it is the greatest communication model in the world today. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Can you move through that into a more happier time? With teams we can do things differently. 10.Tag Questions Questions that are used to turn the uncertainty of a question into the certainty of a statement. (can you not?, isn't it?, hasn't it?, wasn't it?, aren't you?, aren't they?, can't you?, couldn't you?, doesn't it? don't you agree?, don't we?, shouldn't it?, wouldn't it?, won't it?, hasn't it?, isn't that right?, didn't it?, can you not think that?) Use tag questions to invite people to share your certainty. Use an intonation of a command or a statement.
a) Some people say this seminar is the best they have taken and have made pervasive changes, haven't they? 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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b) People who hire our communications firm have learned how to create rapport with anyone, that would be very useful don't you agree? c) Many people think that NLP is the greatest communication model in the world, don't they? d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ You have learned a lot here, haven't you? It's worth every penny, isn't It? You all agree, don't you? Language patterns are very powerful, don't you agree?

11. Lack of Referential Index The use of a noun or pronoun to refer to a non specific group or category. The person doing or receiving the action is deleted. a) One can, you know, make many changes and this seminar shows you how. b) It is a good thing for all employees to be able to master communication skills and my company is an expert in getting those results. c) It has been said that NLP is the greatest communication model in the world today.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

This is one of the most important subjects we can discuss. One can take this learning and have fun with it.

12. Comparative Deletions Statements that do not specifically state what or how a comparison is being made.
a) This seminar makes more pervasive changes than any other seminar given today. b) Most of the people that I have worked with want me to return time and time again and they use my firm over and over. c) The best communicators in the world are able to build rapport with ease and they use NLP technology whether they know it or not. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________

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__________________________________________________________________________

The sooner we understand this the better will be our results. All the best communicators have studied the material we are looking at now. And this is more or less the right thing to do. 13. Pacing Current Experience Statements that describe ongoing experience. a) You received my brochure in the mail and when you read it something that you saw led you to phone and talk to me and when you enroll and attend you will be even more delighted at the many changes you can make in your life. b) You are having communication problems in your organization and you called me after seeing my ad in the yellow pages; we've talked about some of your concerns and what it will take to begin to make changes and we can continue to get the results you want when we get together to determine what service my company can provide. c) We have talked about building rapport and we have also talked about the proper use of language and these are two of the methods used by NLP, which is the greatest communication model in the world today.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

We have talked about what stress is, how it can be positive or negative. We have done some exercises and written some group ideas on the board and this means that we are now able to easily identify and deal with stressful situations. 14. Double Binds Statements that offer two or more choices that are in fact the same choice. a) Would you like to come to my seminar to learn how to make generalized changes or are you interested in learning the techniques for rapport, both are important aren't they? b) I'm confident that before you leave today you will either hire my firm or make a decision to go ahead in a day or two; either way, the most important thing is that you become thoroughly aware of what we can do for you. Does that sound right to you? c) NLP has the most powerful rapport building skills and many people think that it's relationship building skills are second to none.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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You may begin to feel terrific immediately or it may take several minutes before you begin to feel great. Would you like to go ahead and set up an appointment or should we just jot down a time when we can meet? It's important to keep people happy and producing at a maximum, so perhaps you could manage your section by example or you could consistently demonstrate what you expect others to do. 15. Conversational Postulate
A statement in the form of a question which when asked and taken literally would require a yes or no answer. This statement is normally taken as a command to perform the requested action) (Use a voice intonation of a command. a) Do you have Visa or Master card to pay for our change program? b) This is the contract; do you have a pen to sign it? c) Can you hand me that book that says that NLP is the greatest communication model in the world? d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Do you feel that this is something you can understand? Can you close the door? Can you set that aside, now? Can you think about enrolling, now?

16. Extend Quotes A statement that contains one or more quotes that are intertwined with each other and with the story so that it becomes ambiguous as to what is quote and what is story.
a) A student of mine said that she had talked to another participant at one of my workshops who said she had made extensive changes in her life and that she wasn't the only one who had because others had told her the same thing. a) One of my clients in a firm that I worked with said that he told two people in another organization, and he told them directly Jim, you should hire my firm and that each of them said that they had been telling others to consider it seriously and he knew I could only work with a few companies right now. b) I was talking to a communications expert who said one of the most respected communicators told her that NLP is the greatest communication model in the world today and that she used it always. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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One of the coordinators I worked for in the past said that he had an engineer who worked for him tell him that the way to become really good at your job is to develop personal initiative to be able to be proactive rather than reactive when necessary and that he agreed with that and I think so too. An expert in the field of communication told me she had heard Albert Einstein say that the best way to solve a problem was to think at a higher level of abstraction than before and also to look at the problem from multiple perspectives and that seems to be an excellent method. 17. Selection Restriction Violation Statements that are violations of well-formed meaning as understood by native speakers of English.
a) This seminar has pervasive change written all over it. b) When money talks you should hire my firm to make more of it for you. NLP, the eighth wonder of the world, feels like the greatest communication model in the world. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ A chair can have feelings ............ My friend who is pregnant is hoping it is a boy. (Metaphor) And the clock said "It's time to change now."

18. Embedded Commands Statements that include indirect commands embedded within the statement itself.
a) When people like yourself, Jim, attend my seminar they get excited about how they can make many changes in their lives. b) When clients hire my firm, Jim, all the work we do is to get results right now. c) All the experts who study NLP in depth agree with me that it's the world's greatest communication model. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Before we start our interview I'd like to let you know up front that there are some things you may not want to tell me, now and I'd like you not to tell me those things until you are ready to tell me, Now, we can start. I’ll be glad to help when you want to talk to me again. (Put commands behind modal operators) If you will use commands you will be amazed at how you'll be able to persuade more rapidly and if you want to accomplish this, you will become driven to learn these now. 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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19. Embedded Questions Questions that include commands embedded within the question itself.
a) I'm not sure if you want to make comprehensive changes enough to come to my seminar. b) Can you think of all the reasons that you want to hire my firm to get the results you want, now. c) Do you think that NLP is the greatest communication model in the world or do you need to know more about it before you reach that conclusion. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ I'm curious, can you see the value in this product I'm wondering if you would prefer this. I'm not sure if you will want to buy today while the sale is on, or not.

20. Covering All Ranges of Possibilities Statements which cover all ranges of what is possible.
a) When you decide to take my pervasive change seminar, you can write a cheque, use your credit card or pay cash which ever is more convenient for you. I prefer to write a cheque, which do you prefer? b) When you decide to write a contract with me, I can work with my associates, work with some of your internal resource people or I can come in and do the work by myself. a) c) At the conference the communication experts from Canada, those fro m the U.S., as well as those from abroad consider NLP to be the world's greatest communication model. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

Form groups of two, or three if you like or perhaps even do this exercise by yourself. We could look at how it was done in the past, just make it as we want in the future or continue to do what we are already doing.

21. Utilization Statements that use everything as though you control it, as though you planned it and thought of it.

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a) (I'm not sold on this seminar.) Of course you're not sold on this seminar because I haven't told about the extensive changes that it makes as well as the one piece of information that you need to know about before you are completely sold. b) (My company is not like all those others you have worked with.) Yes, you're right, every company is different and that's exactly the reason you need to hire my firm, we tailor our services to fit your company exactly c) (There are many other great communication models.) You're right, there are many other great communication models; that is actually how NLP was able to take the best of the best to make an even better model. d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

22. Context and Meaning Reframing Statements that reframe the meaning in the same context or change the meaning by changing the context. Context reframing - Same behavior different context. Meaning reframing - Different meaning for the same context.
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

N.B.: From this point on the three themes previously used to illustrate each language pattern will not be utilized as the following hypnotic language patterns are not easily used for that purpose. These patterns are very effective and should be learned and practiced as much as the previous patterns. 23. Phonological Ambiguity Words that sound the same but have different meanings are used to cause ambiguity when spoken. (you ewe, there their, our hour, sea see, four for, bee be, mine mine, know no, knows nose, I eye, hear here, by buy, hair hare, pray prey, a part apart, right write rite, insecurity in security, still (motion) still (time) weight wait, sight site, just us justice, I rate irate) Buy Now! you know you can use Power Affirmations for self improvement. You may hear, here but can you hear, there?
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence

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24. Syntactic Ambiguity Statements where the syntactic function of a word cannot uniquely be determined from the immediate context. They are visiting relatives. Fascinating people can be difficult. Selling salesmen can be tricky. Speaking to you as a child .....
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

25. Scope Ambiguity
Statements where ambiguity exists as to how the modifier(s) apply to other words in the sentence. And the smiling men and women. The disturbing thoughts and noises. Even being an exceptionally strong reservoir engineer and communicator ........ d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

26. Punctuation Ambiguity Two well-formed statements are combined into a singular ill formed statement. (I notice that you are wearing a [Watch) carefully what I am doing. Use stress management techniques they will work in some cases you may notice dramatic improvement. How are you able to go into a deep trance now. As you continue to breathe deeply down in your diaphragm .......
d) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ e) __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________

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The Meta Model
When anyone is speaking, the language that they use provides the listener an indication of how the speaker makes sense of the world. People generalize, distort, and delete information from what they say. The allows us to recover information that was not stated. The information that is deleted, distorted and generalized is called deep structure. When we recover deep structure, we are assisting people in learning more about themselves. In Structure of Magic Vol. 1, Bandler and Grinder state, “The basic principle here is that people end up in pain, not because the world is not rich enough to allow them to satisfy their needs, but because their representation of the world is impoverished. Correspondingly, then, the strategy that we as [practitioners] adopt is to connect the client with the world in some way that gives him richer choices." The following table is provided to allow the user to recover information that was generalized, distorted, and deleted. Because every sentence has these generalizations, distortions, and deletions, use the Meta Model only when the response/challenge will recover information for a specific purpose.

Pattern

Response
How do you know?

Prediction
Recover source of information

DISTORTIONS
1. Mind Reading: (knowing someone's internal state) "He thinks we can't work as a team." 2. Lost Performative: (Value judgments where the person doing the judging is left out) "It's wrong to do it this way." 3. Cause and Effect (A causes B) (Where cause of wrong is put outside of self) "Management make me angry." 4. Complex Equivalence (A=B) (Two experiences are interpreted to be the same) "He ignores me, he doesn't like me."

Who says it's wrong? According to whom? How do you know it's wrong? How does what they do cause you to feel angry? Give counter example. How specifically? How does his ignoring mean he …. Have you ever ignored someone you liked?

Gather evidence Recover source

Recover choice.

Recover complex equivalence or counter example.

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5. Presuppositions "If they knew how hard we work they wouldn't treat us this badly." - they don't know - we work hard - they treat us badly

How do you know they don’t know? How do you know we work hard? Who says they treat us badly? Who says we have to work hard?

Eliminate mind read Get comparison Recover performative Specify choice

GENERALIZATIONS
6. Universal Quantifiers (all, every, never, always everyone etc.) "They never listen to us." 7. Modal Operators a. of necessity (Required) (should, must, have to, ought, need to) "I have to do it all myself." b. of possibility or impossibility (can/can't, will/won't, may/may not) "I can't understand this."

Find counter examples Never? What would happen if you did? What would happen if you did/didn’t? “or” b. What stops you? What prevents you? What would happen if you did/didn’t

Recover counter example, effects and outcome.

Recover effects, outcome and causes.

DELETIONS
8. Nominalizations (verbs that have been turned into nouns) "We need to improve our decisions." 9. Unspecified Verbs “She embarrassed me." 10. Simple Deletions “I am uncomfortable.” 11. Comparative Deletions As in good, better, best, worst, more, less, most, least "He's better for the job." 12. Lack of Referential Index Those verbs where the statement leaves out the person doing the acting or the desired action. “You don’t care about me.”

Who’s deciding? How can you re-decide? How would you like to decide?

Return to a process. Recover deletion and referential index.

How do you know? How specifically did she embarrass you? “About what/whom?”

Specify the verb

Eliminate mind read Recover deletion Specify choice Recover comparative deletion

“Better than whom?” “Compared to whom?”

How specifically do I not care about you?

Specifies the verb

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Tips for Using the Meta Model Elegantly
1. Be in Rapport. 2. Use a soft tone of voice and a gentle speaking tempo. 3. Be focused without rushing. Take your time without wasting time (i.e. relaxed while directed). 4. Uses "softeners" to lead into questions, such as: "I wonder..." "Can you tell me..." "I’m curious..." 5. From time to time, repeat back their words - but they must be their exact words! 6. If the subject doesn't know where to start, offer them a "menu," but only if the following conditions are met: There is a long delay before speaking. The subject's non-verbal behavior indicates that they have no representation of what to say next. They seem to be sliding into a state of confusion (and that is something you don't want at the time.)

Exercise - Generating Meta Model Distinctions, Part A Generate sentences for each of these distinctions: Deletions (D) Lack of Referential Index (LRI) Unspecified Verbs (UV) First person generates (reads) their sentence. Second person identifies the pattern and responds with a sentence using the same pattern. Exercise - Generating Meta Model Distinctions, Part B Same as the previous exercise - using these distinctions: Nominalizations (N) Modal Operators (MO) Universal Quantifiers (UQ) Exercise - Generating Meta Model Distinctions, Part C Same as previous exercise - using these distinctions: Mind Reading (MR) Cause/Effect (C/E) Complex Equivalence (CEq) 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 39

Exercise - Cause / Effect or Complex Equivalence The following sentences contain examples of either Cause/Effect (C/E) or Complex Equivalence (CEq) language patterning. Go through the list and identify in each sentence which one of the two is present, then indicate which you think it is in the space to the left of the sentence. 1. I know he loves me when he touches me. 2. It makes me angry when my husband looks at me like that. 3. If you loved me, you'd call when you’re going to be late. 4. I know you understand me when you talk to me. 5. You don't appreciate me anymore. You don't kiss me when you leave for the office in the morning. 6. Turning in your reports on time will let me know you’re responsible. 7. My partner's pessimistic attitude is the major cause of our recent economic failures. 8. I want to stay here longer, but I know my wife will get angry at me if I do. 9. My depression is a result of my husband criticizing my body. 10. Your nagging is what gives me headaches. Exercise- Generating and Responding to Meta Model Distinctions Person A whispers to B a distinction s/he wants B to generate. B uses the distinction in at least 5 sentences. C Identifies the distinction. D Challenges the sentence. E Predicts the information being recovered. Rotate.

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Practice Session - Identifying and Responding Using the Meta Model
Distinctions
D - deletion LRI - Lack of Referential Index UQ - Universal Quantifier MR - Mind Reading MO - Modal Operators Practice Using the Meta Model Each of the following sentences on the next few pages contain one or more Meta Model distinctions: a) Write the most appropriate challenge to the most significant Meta Model distinction that you detect. b) Predict what information that your challenge will get you -- e.g. recover deletion, specify verb, recover referential index, etc. c) Use the code at the top of the page to identify each Meta Model distinction in the sentence. d) Identify the Meta Model distinction that is common in all five sentences. e) Construct two sentences of your own that demonstrates this distinction. UV - Unspecified Verb N - Nominalization CE - Cause Effect LP - Lost Performative CEq - Complex Equivalence

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1. They attempted to leave by running out the door. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. He learned quickly. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. I tried that. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. Sandy can’t know until Wednesday. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. Chuck saw that he could find out. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. I always get the wrong end of the stick. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. Each time he comes I feel left out. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. Everybody is going punk these days. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. Nowhere is there evidence that Bill violated the Meta Model. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. Any time you are here I feel good. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. Neuro Linguistic Programmers are brilliant. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. Business people love to learn more about making money. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. I found ft. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. Susan told me that children need discipline. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. Women look better in dresses. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences.

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1. His presence was a comfort to me. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. My resentment stopped me from having a good understanding. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. I regret my decision. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. I was annoyed by the confrontation. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. Your willingness to take this test is a demonstration of your belief in commitments. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. Time is of the essence. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. It's sick to feel sad about nothing. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. Doing Neuro Linguistic Programming is better than doing the dishes. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. Desecrated tide pools are disgraceful. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. People who can’t write shouldn't do it at all. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. Child abusers must be abused repeatedly. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. Johnny mustn't hit Susie anymore. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. Jennifer can’t make a good grade on this test. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. It is necessary to answer the questions on the test. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. Joe has to learn the Meta Model. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. I can’t talk to him because he's angry with me. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. You aren't sad. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. Bill is feeling insecure about his name these days. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. He believes in me. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. He doesn't talk to me after work because he's too tired. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. She makes me angry. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. He causes me so much pain. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. I’m upset because you’re late. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. If you’re going to cry I’m leaving. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. It was her friendly smile that made me walk over and say hi. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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1. If she cared about me she'd be here by now. Challenge/Response

Prediction

2. He's always yelling at me. He hates me. Challenge/Response

Prediction

3. Smiling means you like me. Challenge/Response

Prediction

4. He just always hangs around. He's lazy. Challenge/Response

Prediction

5. That tone of voice lets me know that you care. Challenge/Response

Prediction

Common Distinction

Your Sentences

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Exercise - Behavioral Cause & Effect; Complex Equivalence
Get in groups of three. Pick A, B and C 1. A chooses a personally highly-valued experience in the context of relationships. (i.e. friendly, intelligent, respect, flirtatious, revered, loved, trustworthy, personal power, etc.) 2. A shapes B's posture, voice tone and tempo, verbal content, etc., to fulfill A's Complex Equivalence. C observes and assists. VISUAL HINTS Closer Farther Away Eye Movements Focus Of The Eyes Head Movements Symmetry Asymmetry AUDITOTY HINTS Volume Speed One Pitch Muscle Tension Endings Of Words And Sentences Marked Words Content 3. B attends to what this behavior is actually an expression of to the person, but does not tell A until it is time to switch positions. 4. C steps into B's place and duplicates what B did to fulfill A's Complex Equivalence to see if it remains the same across persons. 5. Switch positions.

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Goals And Outcomes
How many times have you heard people say that they are going to loose weight or stop yelling at their kids or watched your kids with their grand plans of what they are going to do, only to see them repeatedly fail at their attempts. The reason is because they have inadvertent programmed their brain to fail! We will see clearly how this occurs and how you can stop it if it's happening to you. Often what prevents people from getting their goals is fear of risk. The problem is, EVERYTHING you do requires some risk. There is a risk every time you get into a car! Successful people always access the probability of the risk occurring and the benefits of taking the risk and pursuing the goal ... and when in need, enlist the aid of others, seeking input from friend or mentor. The other thing that prevents people from getting their goals is fear of failure. If there is one thing that you take from this program and incorporate in to your life from this moment forward it should be this -- the simple concept that "failure equals feedback". Failure is a signal to you that you need to learn another way to do it. In NLP, we say that if what you are doing isn't working, do anything else!!! Most people do the same behavior over and over again and expect different results! If you do this, stop it! It's insane! Just do something else, anything else. Remember Babe Ruth. He had the most strike outs AND the most home runs! Anything worth doing well is worth doing poorly at first. After all, when was the last time you became an expert at something after you did it once? Learn to look at fear from a new perspective and realize you will not achieve significant goals without some failures. Do you doubt your skills? Don't believe you can do it with what you have - what will you do to increase your confidence? - learn from other people who are getting the results you want, get practice, do training programs, get a coach and confront the situation boldly. Establish a realistic standard for success and work toward it. When attempting something new, think: what skills or behaviors are needed? Then go out and learn them. Changing isn't always easy, anything that is unfamiliar is worth doing - if change is scary, admit it, do a little at a time, try to seek out change (for a change) and begin to view yourself as one who likes and looks forward to change. Do lots of little new things, new restaurants and foods, new friends and acquaintances, new books of different genres. Too busy? Prioritize those things of most value and pursue those. Goal Setting rules of NLP 1. You must state goals in the positive -- what you do want, not what you don't want. Nature abhors a vacuum. State what you want not what you don't want. The brain deletes negatives. 2. You must be able to represent it to yourself by way of the 5 senses. How do you see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, and feel it? Where do you feel it, where do you want it, when and with whom? 3. You must be able to start or initiate your action independently and be able to carry it out independently. It is what you can do and not what others do that counts. How will 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 52

you start it and how will you carry it through to the end result? 4. The goal you are attempting to attain does not interfere in any negative ways with your natural life state and that of others. Is there anything that you would have to give up or sacrifice when you make the change? How will you and others around you be effected? Good sub questions to ask yourself about this goal. What will having this goal do for me? (gets you larger outcome and additional motivation)? What prevents me from having it right now? Is this realistic? (When answering this question you will most likely find something that you can do or change right away today to make getting your goal possible.) Is this goal a manageable size or is it too large for a first step? What steps do I need to take in order to get this goal? What resources do I have available to me right now to assist me in getting my goal? Go and review five times when you were successful and see what you did --What did you say to yourself? What were you doing? How did you look, sound and move? Find at least five times and feel how good it feels to be resourceful. When you’ve found some powerful times, move them closer, make them brighter and in full color to intensify those experiences for yourself. When I have my goal, what will I be seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling that will let me know I have it? What will happen if you make the change (both good and bad)? What could (if it were to) go wrong? Who else will this goal effect? Are there any possible negative consequences? Is there anyone who might possibly object to you making this change or having this goal? When and where do you want this change (It is very important to specify time and the context)? What is going to happen when you make this change? What is -not going to happen when you make this change? What is going to happen if you don't make this change (What is the consequence if you don't make the change)? What is not going to happen if you don't make this change? You need the sensory evidence to know whether you are on or off target in getting your goal, and most importantly, you must do what is necessary to get your goal. Action is the most important step. You must make your plan and then do the plan. Each step along the way must be small enough to be able to accomplish easily and yet large enough to be motivating. (What will having this do for me? This question can provide the motivating factor). 5. Is it testable and measurable? You need a way to know when you are getting close to your goals, when you have arrived and when to stop. How will you know when you have accomplished your goal?

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Blame Frame vs. Outcome Frame
Blame Frame 1. What's wrong? 2. Why do I have this problem? 3. What caused this problem? 4. How has this problem limited me? 5. How long have I had this problem? 6. How does this problem cause me to fail? 7. Who's fault is this problem? Outcome Frame 1. What do I want? 2. How can I get it? 3. How will I know when I have it? 4. What resources do I have right now that will help me achieve my outcome? 5. When I get what I want, how will my life improve? 6. What will I do to begin getting what I want? Note: After answering the Outcome Frame Questions, take a moment to breathe deeply and remember what answering them was like for you.

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Keys to an Achievable Outcome
State outcome in the positive  Your outcome is something you want to move toward. Be sure your language is positive. Saying “I don't want to be overweight" is not well-formed. Instead, use positive language “I want to be slim”  Is it possible to achieve this outcome?  What will be the result? State outcome in sensory specific language       I will see ... I will hear ... I will feel ... I will smell ... I will taste ... When and where specifically?

Be sure your outcome is initiated and maintained by you  What can and will you do to achieve this outcome?  What is your first step to get what you want? All behaviors must be within your control. Be sure that it is initiated and maintained by you, and that no one else is involved. If your outcome relies on other people, it is not well-formed.  How can you get what you need to achieve your outcome? Be sure your outcome is ecological  What have you learned from having this situation in your life?  When you succeed in getting your outcome how will it affect your life and the lives of those around you?  Are there any circumstances or contexts in which your outcome is not appropriate?  Will achieving this outcome produce results that you or others do not want?  How will others be behaving around you if you get this outcome? Be sure your outcome is testable  How will you know when you have achieved your outcome?

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EXERCISE 1 - Well-Formed Outcomes
Rewrite these sentences so that the outcome is stated in the positive. 1. I don't want to feel stressed out anymore.

2. She doesn't ever listen to me.

3. My boss doesn't give me the credit I deserve.

4. My husband nags me all day long.

5. I want to stop swearing.

6. I always forget phone numbers.

7. I want him to stop cheating on me.

8. People always make fun of me.

9. It has to stop.

10. I want to stop fighting with my friends.

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Now that you have stated each differently. Determine what would have to occur for it to be stated in sensory specific terms, initiated and maintained by you, and ecologically sound and testable. 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

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EXERCISE 2 - Well Formed Outcomes
Purpose: to learn to set well formed goals and to assist others as well. Identifying violations of the well formed conditions. Spend some time writing out your personal and professional goals. When finished, use the questions below to determine if your goals are well formed. If not, go back and re-write the portions which need to be refined. Write out your personal outcomes.

Write out your professional outcomes.

Using these questions determine if your goals are well formed: 1. Are my goals attainable? (is a time frame specified and is it realistic?) 2. What will change when I have my goal? 3. What will I be seeing, hearing and feeling when I have my goal? (stated in sensory terms) 4. Is it stated in the positive? 5. Is it within my power to accomplish this goal? 6. What will cause me to stay on task? (self initiated and maintained) 7. What will prevent me? (how will I manage in spite of this?) 8. How will I and others benefit from me having this goal? 9. Will it disrupt any part of my life or those close to me (friends, work associates, family etc.?) 10. What will I do to insure that ecology is preserved?

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Submodalities
We take external information in through our five senses (representation systems or modalities). The meaning of a subjective experience is directly related to submodalities. Submodalities are the different components of modalities or representation systems. For example, in the visual modality the component elements include: whether the picture is black and white or color, how close the image is, the brightness, the location of the picture, the size, the contrast, the focus etc.. The principle is that if a person varies some of the submodalities, their experience will also change. For example, a generalization for most people is that as the person makes the visual image closer and brighter, the intensity of the feeling about the imagined situation increases. Changing some submodalities, called drivers, will make major changes in experience. Changing other submodalities will have very little or no effect. Which submodalities make major changes and which do not varies with each individual. Therefore, each individual must be "calibrated" to find the driving submodalities. Here is a list (not complete) of some of the more noticeable qualities or submodalities for each of the three main sensory systems: Visual associated/dissociated colour/black & white location (l/r, up/down) distance brightness framed/panoramic blurred/focused contrast moving/still speed (faster/slower) size 2-D or 3-D Auditory loud or soft distance from sound words or sounds location of sound stereo/mono continuous/not speed (faster/slower) clear/muffled soft/harsh Kinaesthetic temperature texture (rough/smooth) intensity pressure (hard/soft) duration weight (light/heavy) shape

The accordance of submodalities to our representation of experience gives our experience meaning. How do we alter our subjective experience? Alter the submodalities by which we represent it.

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Changing Unhelpful Beliefs
The tremendous power available to us through the awareness and modification of our submodalities is obvious as we explore an NLP "Change Belief" pattern. Keep in mind as we work through this that NLP is not a set of techniques, but more like a model for understanding experience. Nevertheless NLP has left behind it a trail of techniques which many people see as "magic wands", and indeed they can be. However a technique applied blindly may or may not work without understanding its dynamics and having the ability to alter it according to the needs of our client or ourself! A technique is also likely to prove fairly useless if we try it with someone with whom we are not in rapport! The best way to understand a Change Belief Pattern is to go ahead and experience it.

Exercise - Change Belief
1. In groups of 3 or more, A thinks of a strong negative belief which gets in the way of his/her having a more enjoyable, more productive, or more pleasurable life, and B elicits A's submodalities and writes these down. 2. A then thinks of something which he/she used to believe but which would now be quite ludicrous or outrageous to believe. B elicits and writes down B's submodalities. 3. A then states an alternative belief to the belief used in 1, which is not currently held as a strong belief, (or perhaps it is not believed at all) if it were held as a very strong belief would make life more enjoyable, productive or pleasurable. 4. B aids A in altering the submodalities of 1 to the submodalities of 2 (ie, turning the strong belief to a weak belief). 5. B aids A in altering the submodalities of the desired belief to the submodalities of 1 (ie, make 3 a strong belief). 6. Finally B aids A in altering the unhelpful belief in 1 (which is now exhibiting "weak" submodalities) to one which is no longer believed at all, or which is quite ludicrous, by altering the submodalities to those of 2. Swap until everyone has had a turn being A, being B, and observing. Be aware of non-verbal calibration and be helpful in your feedback to one another.
Note: It seems we cannot simply change a belief by confronting it and “deciding” to change it. However, we can alter the submodalities of that belief with great ease – in turn, the belief changes automatically.


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Changing Unhelpful Behaviour
The Swish Pattern is another powerful NLP technique which involves manipulating submodalities in order to alter our experience. Typically it is used to eliminate behaviours which we find detrimental to our enjoyment, pleasure and productivity. This may be something as debilitating as an addiction, or as stressful as a phobic response to something, or as minor as a mild chocolate craving! To intensify the power of this technique, close your eyes during each process and open them between steps. Here are the steps to do an effective "Swish": 1. Get an image of a habit or situation you’d like to change (#1). What do you see, hear or feel just before you start the? 2. Create an image of the behaviour you’d like to have or person you’d like be (#2). Make the image big and bright and attractive, but keep it dissociated. 3. Shrink the ideal state down, small and dark. Bring back to mind the trigger picture #1 (associated) and place the ideal image in the lower right hand corner 4. Have the image of the desired state #2 explode into full view and blast out the old image. (If you life accompany this movement with a big “swish” sound as you execute the swish.) 5. Repeat step 7 at least five times, faster each time. Speed is very important.

Exercise - Swish Pattern In groups of 3 or more, A guides B through the swish process while the others observe. Everyone should have a turn being A, being B, and observing. What do you experience?

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Strategies
A strategy is any internal and external set (order, syntax) of experiences which consistently produces a specific outcome. For example, when you go somewhere, you may be making a picture of where you're going and how to get there in your mind. Then you may need to gather enough information until you have a clear picture of the entire route that you're going to travel. We use internal processing strategies for everything we do. All of our apparent external behaviors are controlled by internal processing strategies. All of our overt behaviours! So that means that we use strategies for love, strategies for hate, strategies for learning, strategies for math, depression, relating, remembering, stress, resting, parenting, success, communication, marketing, wealth, poverty, happiness, sex, eating, disease, creativity, relaxation, attention, fun, motivation and so on. There are strategies for everything. We first develop a particular strategy when we are young. At an early age, perhaps you put a series of internal and external experiences together, and made (for example) a decision. Then, at some point when you knew it worked, you generalized the process that you used before in making the decision and said, either consciously or unconsciously, "OK, this is a good way to make a decision", and you then probably used it over and over and over again. Let's say, for example, you made a picture in your mind and talked to yourself or someone else about it, until you had enough information, and that was how you made the decision. If that syntax worked for you, then at some time you began to use it over and over again. NLP was created as a result of Modeling. Bandler and Grinder's system for Modeling was essentially to discover somebody's belief systems, physiology, and mental strategies. In the process of modeling, they would elicit a person's internal program, which they called "mental syntax" or "strategy." In terms of modeling, then, one important element is the internal syntax or what they do inside their head when they do what they do. What strategy do they use? Simply put: A strategy is something that somebody does in their brain and nervous system that produces a specific result. It's what somebody does in their head when they do what they do. An analogy that seems to work really well in describing strategies is the analogy of baking a cake. In the process of baking a cake, you get all the ingredients together, get a bowl, and you put the ingredients into a bowl in a certain order. It's important to take all the ingredients and put them in a bowl in a certain order. In a recipe, there's a certain order or sequence of when the elements should go into the recipe. And so, if you put the elements of the cake into the bowl in the wrong order, or even in the oven before you put them into the bowl, you'll get a substantially different outcome. So, how do you discover someone's strategy for doing a specific thing? Well, just 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 62

ask, and listen to their predicates, watch their eyes (eye patterns), and make note of the order and sequence of the modalities as they are presented to you. What are the elements that can go into a strategy? There are only six, fortunately. There are only six things that people can do in their mind -- what a surprise. You thought you could do a lot more than six things, didn't you? There are only six things that you can do, though. The six are pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells, and you can talk to yourself. And you can do each of those things either internally or externally. The elements of strategies have their own notation so that you may quickly and easily describe a strategy. V = Visual A = Auditory K = Kinesthetic (feelings) O = Olfactory G = Gustatory In addition we can say certain things about those Representational System elements: e = External i = Internal t = Tonal (At) d = Digital c = Constructed r = Recalled As you listen and watch the person you're eliciting the strategy from, note first the major modalities -- [V], [At], [K], [O], [G], [Ad]. Also make note of whether they are internal or external. For example, seeing a picture in your head is Visual Internal (or Vi), looking at a car to see if you like it is Visual External (or Ve), and may include a comparison to a remembered or created car (Vr or Vc). Talking to the salesperson, and gathering information about the purchase to find if it meets your criteria is Auditory digital (or Ad), and External. Or feeling a rug to discover if you like the feel is Kinesthetic external (or Ke), while feeling good about the purchase is Kinesthetic internal (or Ki). Making sure that your shorthand notation for each step of the strategy includes the distinction of whether it's internal or external, we make a superscript, "e" for external and "i" for internal. And when dealing with auditory, you want to make the differentiation between auditory digital [Ad] or auditory tonal [At]. Digital includes lists, criteria -- whether it "makes sense", whereas tonal is more concerned with whether it "sounds right". Make a subscript of "t" for tonal or "d" for digital. You will want to note the elements in the order they occur. And, it's OK to ask over and over again until you have a strategy that you can be confident about. 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 63

Formal Strategy Elicitation
Establish rapport and set the frame Get the person into the state you are eliciting by using the appropriate language and context Make sure that the person is in a fully associated, intense and congruent state. They must be looking through their own eyes. As they are in the appropriate state, anchor it if necessary so that you can get it back whenever you need it – especially if you’re breaking their state by asking questions Elicit the modalities. Calibrate all accessing cues: predicates, eyes, breathing, tonal shifts etc. and note the steps you observe

1. What I’d like to do now is to ask you some specific questions which will help understand how you achieve certain results. Would that be all right with you? 2. Can you recall a time when you were totally ……?

3. Can you recall a specific time? As you go back to that time now, see hear and feel what you did in that moment. 4. Anchor the state if necessary

5. What was the very first thing that caused you to be totally ……?  Was it something you saw or the way you were looked at?    Was it something you heard or someone’s tone of voice? Was it the touch of someone or something or an emotion you felt? Or something else?

Continue to elicit the modalities for each step and note these

6. After you (saw/ heard/ felt) that, what was the very next thing that happened as you were totally ……?  Did you picture something in your mind?   Say something to yourself? Have a certain feeling or emotion?

Backtrack if necessary if you think you’ve missed any steps Loop through 5, 6 and 7 till you have the complete strategy Test. Make sure you elicit and not install (use neutral predicates) Watch for loops (recurring sequences that do not make progress) If necessary, go back and elicit the sub modalities

7. What was the next thing that happened as you were totally ……? 8. After you (list previous), did you know that you totally ……, or did you do something else? 9. Feed the sequence back and calibrate for congruency

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Informal Strategy Elicitation
Strategies can be determined in casual conversation. For example by asking, “How did you decide to buy that shirt?” – for decision strategy.

Other questions to ask to Elicit Strategies
1. Has there ever been a time when you felt totally motivated? (motivation). 2. Think of a time where you felt totally resourceful? (resourceful) 3. Tell me about a time when you knew that you were completely unstoppable, when you knew you couldn’t fail (powerful). 4. Think of a time when you felt that you were totally in ‘the zone’ – where everything flowed and you made great progress in what you were doing (in the zone). 5. Has there ever been a time when you were particularly creative? (creativity). 6. Can you tell me about a time when you were able to do ……? (a skill). 7. What is it like to ……? 8. Can you ……? or How do you ……? or Have you ever ……? 9. Would you know if you could ……? 10. What happens to you as you ……?

Synesthesia Patterns
A synesthesia pattern occurs when two modalities are so closely linked they occur simultaneously, with one possibly being outside conscious awareness. For example when someone hears a name and gets a feeling automatically or if someone smells something and gets an instant image in their mind. A typical synesthesia pattern that many people report is saying something to themselves and getting a feeling at the same time.

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Utilisation
Once you’ve elicited someone’s strategy it can be utilised by presenting information to them in the order and sequence they process information. They will find the information irresistible. For example: Someone has a decision strategy which is VeAdKi so they see something external (Ve), they say something to themselves, they get a feeling and then they decide. If you were going to sell them a pen, then you could say the following: 1. “Take a look at this.” Ve (show them either a picture or the real thing) 2. “You’re probably saying something to yourself about how it looks” Ad 3. “And if it feels right, then you’ll know that you should take one.” Ki

Strategy Change
Strategy Redesign 1. Maintain the function/outcome. 2. Intervene before the strategy breaks down. 3. Calibrate. 4. Reframe and/or use submodalities on unpleasant feelings or voices. 5. Delete unnecessary steps. 6. Make sure that the criteria are accessed sequentially and not simultaneously. 7. Make the least amount of change to get the results you want. Strategy Design 1. Make up what you think could work (taking into consideration their motivation strategy - toward or away) 2. Check your own strategy for applicability 3. Model someone else who has a good strategy Strategy Installation 1. Rehearsing 2. Reframing 3. Metaphor 4. Anchoring 5. Dissociated state rehearsal Motivation Strategies People either move toward or away from things (meta program of Direction Filter). People who tend to move toward too strongly may never get around to doing unpleasant things which are necessary. Alternatively people who move away at an extreme may never take 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 66

action until things get really bad. The key to motivation is to be easily and effortlessly able to do the things that may otherwise seem unpleasant but serve you.

Key points about Learning Strategies
1. Begin in a positive state. 2. Think of a time when you succeeded and felt great. 3. Access and anchor appropriate resources. 4. Chunk appropriately. Chunk down the task to avoid overwhelm. 5. Recycle or go external until you can represent the smaller chunks, so as to sequence and prioritize them. 6. Get appropriate feedback relative to the task being learned. 7. Make appropriate comparisons that give one a feeling of accomplishment. Do not make comparisons to an expert or to an ideal self but to your ability in the past. 8. Exit but avoid the dangers of exiting too soon or never exiting. Exit when you have learned enough for right now, and when you have learned something well enough for your outcome. 9. Avoid the trap of chasing clarity. All important decisions are made on the basis of insufficient information. 10. Expect not to understand some things. Set them aside and come back to them later. 11. Don’t get trapped in bad feelings of not understanding. Remember that understanding is a feeling. 12. Know your sub modality equivalents of understanding. Use them to get information in the necessary form. 13. Future pace learning to the time and place they will be needed.

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Decision Making Strategy Exercise
Use a purchase that the person made themselves and decided to buy themselves.

Figure 2: Standard eye patterns for a normally organised person

Determine something that the person is wearing or owns that they were happy about purchasing. It is important that they bought it themselves and were happy with it Track eye patterns and determine organisation by asking questions and following their eyes. Also notice if they write with their right or left hand to help you.

That’s a nice …… What made you decide to buy that? Did you buy it yourself? Was anyone there when you bought it who influenced your decision to buy? Do you like it? Would you mind if I ask you a few questions which may sound a bit strange and are to serve you best?  Can you remember what your school uniform looked like?    Imagine if the sea were yellow Say these words to yourself in a strange accent: “I’m the man/woman” Imagine the sensation of putting your hand in a bucket of cold soup.

Elicit decision making strategy Elicit convincer

Use the appropriate script of do so conversationally How many items did you have to look at before you knew that that was the one for you?

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Test the strategy. Sell them something not using their strategy (i.e. in reverse) Calibrate. Then sell them something in their strategy and notice the difference

Strategy Scrambler
Identify the presenting problem – this moves them from Effect to Cause Elicit the strategy for creating it

How do you know it is time to ……? When do you do ……? How do you do it ……? Make them the authority and Imagine I was a temporary agency and I wanted to do …… get them to teach you how Could you teach me? to do it Deliberately mismatch them and take it all the way out to the limit by changing the content and submodalities but keeping within their strategy Continue to do this for the whole strategy until they can no longer access the feelings

So firstly I get a feeling in my … big toe like a jelly fish is under it? But if I did that, would it still work? (this gets them to try it on and scrambles their pattern)

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Framing and Reframing
Reframing is one of the most extensively used techniques in NLP by Richard Bandler. Most comedy applies reframes. Your mind is heading down a road it’s been a million times and you expect it to continue that way. Then WHAM! A reframe redirects you. Working Theory:
 An external event or sensory experience elicits a response to which a meaning is attached. Reframing is the ability to attach a new meaning to an external event or sensory experience which in turn causes a new response to it.  All meaning is context dependent. If the context or frame is changed then the meaning and the response to the meaning will change.  People tend to attach only one meaning to each sensory experience. Different people can attach different meanings to the very same external event or sensory experience.  Every sensory experience in the world and every behaviour is appropriate in some context or frame.  Broadening a person's view through reframing will only allow them to consider making a change 1) if the new view makes more sense to them than what they have been thinking and 2) if it is an undeniably valid way of looking at the world.  Thinking about something in many different ways is an important part of understanding.  The reframer must be congruent in nonverbal analogs (words and all nonverbal communication match) when delivering a reframe in order to have the reframe be effective.

By giving ourselves the flexibility to change the way we see something, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to achieve our outcomes more easily. Reframing changes the way you feel and therefore what you do. Two great questions to help with reframing are:  What else could this mean?  What’s good about this?

Meaning Reframe
When people have a sensory experience that they do not like, it is not the experience they do not like, but their actual response to it. It is important to understand that the response itself is not based on what is happening (in sensory experience) but rather to the meaning that has been attached to it. What can be done is to reframe or change the meaning of the experience that will then change the response to that experience. Meaning reframing is used when the "problem" behaviour is appropriate but the meaning attached to it may be limiting (i.e. there is nothing actually inherently bad about the "problem")

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Leave the content the same and change the meaning of the behavior in that same context. A equals B, A is B, or A means B - - - - requires a meaning reframe

How To Do A Meaning Reframe
1) Listen for the linguistic form of A equals B, A is B or A means B. 2) Ask yourself:  Is there a different or larger frame in which this behavior would be of value?  What other aspects of this situation that do not appear obvious to the person could provide a different meaning?  What else could this behaviour mean?  How else could I describe this situation? 3) Think of the reframe. 4) Deliver the reframe congruently and observe sensory based nonverbal changes that occur in the person as their experience changes. EXAMPLES:

Statement:

Keeping the same management means that it will be impossible to transform the company.

Reframe:

I thought that way too until I saw what the average person could do to bring down the Berlin wall or change Russia forever. Even though I believe that management is developing the skills needed to change, the employees have the critical mass to make the change, if you start now.

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Context Reframe
A context reframe leaves the meaning of an experience the same and shows how it is a proper response in another context. A context reframe is used on an experience that appears as a comparative generalization about oneself or someone else and has deleted the context Examples are: "I am too X." or "He is too X."

"(Subject) is too ", I am too X." ---- requires a context reframe

How To Do A Context Reframe
1) Listen for the linguistic form of "I am too X." or "(Subject) is too X." 2) Ask yourself:  In what context would this particular behavior be of value?  (Think of different contexts until you find one that changes the evaluation of the behavior.) 3) Think of the reframe. 4) Deliver the reframe congruently and observe sensory based nonverbal changes that occur in the person as their experience changes. EXAMPLES: Statement: Ref rame: The company is too slow in deciding whom to keep and whom to lay off You know I'm really glad that when it comes time for them to consider you and I that they will take all the time they need to make the right decision, aren't you? He's much too stubborn to see things from our point of view. That's just the kind of person we need around here to take hold of a project and stick with it until it's completed.

Statement: Reframe:

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Other framing techniques / Meeting techniques
The following frames are particularly useful in meetings and also to use on yourself to help you achieve your goals. A frame by it’s nature, encourages you to see things from another perspective – which inevitably creates choice.

Outcome frame
This is an excellent tool to use in meetings or when you have specific goals you want to achieve either alone or in groups. It frames the direction and the explicit result you want to achieve. Question: What specifically do I/we want to achieve from this meeting/ situation?

Agreement frame
An outstanding skill to have, use the agreement frame regularly to ensure better communication, especially when conflict is a high possibility. This tool allows you to dissipate the energy, align and redirect. Questions:  I agree and …   I appreciate and … I respect and …

Relevancy frame
This can be used to ensure that you prevent diversion from the core purpose for your discussion or goal. If you have a goal or specific outcome in a meeting or have used the outcome frame and you want to check whether some new input is relevant, simply ask: Question: How does ………… relate to the outcome or goal we’ve agreed we’re aiming for?

Contrast frame
This can be used in conjunction with/or to complement the Relevancy frame. It allows you to compare the value of various items to the decision-making process. Question: How does this compare with/relate to ………?

‘As if’ frame
This is a very useful frame to help people realise what it would be like if they achieved their outcome and get them out of a stuck state. This gets them to associate to that outcome and by doing so, they create that as a possibility. Question: Imagine if you had achieved this goal completely in the best possible way. What would you see, hear, feel and say to yourself which would confirm that you’d already succeeded?

Back track frame
A useful frame to use when summing up the details discussed for the purpose of making a decision or checking agreement. Very useful in a sales situation when you want to move forward, this tool can be used to encourage alignment for the areas you have agreement on. Question:  So you agree that …… is something that would benefit us   Let me see if I understand what you’re saying … As you said earlier, …… is something that you want, would you agree?

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Parts Integration
Parts Integration is based on the idea that different aspects of ourselves are in conflict due to different perceptions and beliefs. 'Parts integration' is the process of integrating the disparate aspects of the self by identifying and then negotiating with the separate parts to achieve resolution of internal conflict. Parts Integration Process Script
Identify the conflict of the parts involved Have the client sit in a position where their arms can move freely to come together Have the Part which represents the unwanted state or behaviour come out on one of the hands first Get VAK image of that part Elicit the part which is most in conflict to come out on the other hand Get VAK image of that part Separate intention from behaviour Reframe each part so that they realise that they actually have the same intention by chunking up. Move back from one to the other as necessary The hands should start to move together If the hands do not come together automatically, make appropriate suggestions to help the process Once the hands have joined, have the client take the parts inside and have it merge into the wholeness inside. Test & future pace

Have the part which represents the unwanted state or behaviour come out on one of your hands now.

Does that part look like anyone you know? If that part had something to say, what would it say? If it had a weight, what would it weigh? I’d like you to ask the part which is most in conflict with this Part to come out on your other hand Does that part look like anyone you know? If that part had something to say, what would it say? If it had a weight, what would it weigh? Chunk up What is the intention of this part (A)? For what purpose? (repeat appropriately) What resources or features does each part have that the other part would like to have? Now have the parts notice they were once part of a larger whole and have the same intention Now that you realise that they have the same intention and they were part of the greater whole, you may feel that they want to join together again as one. You may feel your hands moving together now slowly or quickly, however is right for you.

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Fast Phobia Process
A phobia is a present-day response to an intensely traumatic experience in the past. The fear is anchored to the stimulus that caused it initially. In all Phobic cases there is an image of an event which generates the phobic response. The person knows that the phobia is not reasonable, but the anxious feeling is so intense that they feel compelled to avoid the trigger. Phobias are a considerable achievement. They are a strong dependable response based on a single experience. It is possible to use the same structure to have strong, dependable, good feelings about a person or an object based on one good learning experience. This process applies V/K dissociation to a phobia or trauma. Here it is: 1. Establish rapport with your client. 2. Ask them to think of their phobia briefly and fleetingly. This is so you can calibrate the state by observing their physiology. Break state / pattern interrupt. 3. Establish a safety anchor (this is a “bail out” anchor). Elicit a powerful positive state from a remembered experience when they felt safe and secure. Anchor this kinaesthetically on their arm. Tell them that if they ever need to stop the process and return to the present state then they have that anchor to do so. 4. Set up the dissociation by asking the client to imagine themselves in a movie theatre. They have complete control over the movie and how it appears. They may want to make it appear in black and white or as a small fizzy picture – they control the critical submodalities of the picture. 5. Ask the client to select the reel of film from their life that contains the trauma or the first powerful experience that sets up the phobia. It may not always be possible to get the earliest occasion of a phobia, but get one that is intense and the earliest they can remember. Break state / pattern interrupt. 6. Establish a beginning and an end to the event. Instruct the client to go to a time after the event has transpired and is over, a time where they know they are safe and secure and to visualize their younger self. Have the client project that image as a small black and white frozen slide image onto a screen. Break state / pattern interrupt. Next have them visualize their younger self moments before the event took place and project that image as a slide on the screen as well. 7. Ask the client to watch the reel of film. Ask them to see themselves on screen from just before the start of the film (when they were safe) to after the incident had happened (when they were safe again). Have them watch the movie in black and white on a small screen if size and colour are critical submodalities. 8. Double dissociate the client – ask them to watch themselves watching themselves on the screen. Maintain the state by using the right language. This step is complete 2008 Dr Marco Paret & Matt Traverso – Copyleft Licence 75

when the client can watch this incident on screen without going into the phobic state. Fast Phobia Script
Establish a resource anchor for safety. This is a “bail out” anchor Set the frame

Acknowledge the client’s ability to learn quickly Identify their strategy for having a phobia and the trigger to the reaction Get them to a place of double dissociation

Scrambles their pattern

Test & future pace

Check ecology

In a moment I’ll guide you through a process so that your phobia won’t bother you at all, from now, ever again. You’ll be able to do the things quickly I suggest in your head, and simply nod when you’ve done them. Is that all right? Did you know that a phobia is often the result of a one-time leaning which means that you can learn very quickly. I want you to imagine yourself sitting in the middle of a cinema looking at the screen. You can see a black and white snapshot of yourself in a situation just before you had that phobic response. Now float out of your body and imagine that you’re in the projection room from where you can watch yourself, watching yourself. Now turn the image you had into a black and white movie and watch it for the last time on the screen from the beginning to just past the end of that disagreeable experience. When you get there, freeze the movie and jump inside the picture. Now run the movie backwards in black and white so that everything happens in reverse with you featuring in it. People will be walking backwards and everything is happening in reverse. Freeze frame when you reach the end of the phobia, now. Black out the screen. Now think about what you used to fear. Notice that the feelings have gone. So, now that you no longer have that phobia, think of a time in the future where you would have chosen to react to that phobia in the past. Notice how the feelings are gone now. What are you going to choose to happen now instead of that old behaviour

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Time Lines
In NLP we refer to “time lines” to describe how people spatially store information about events which occurred in different times (our unique way of internally representing chronological time). It is supposed that if we did not have a system for coding time in this way, it might be difficult to differentiate between something which happened last week and something which happened, say, six months ago. It can be very obvious where people spatially store their memories. How often do you notice that when people refer to past events they gesture to their left, or behind themselves? And when people refer to the future, they often gesture to their right, or in front. We label these two commonly-observed configurations (left to right, or back to front) as “Through Time” or “In Time”. (Remember there are many, many variations on these. For a Through Time person, time is linear and sequential and it is believed that memories will generally be dissociated. Through Time people generally find that for them planning is a simple task and have an excellent judgement of the passing of time, therefore tending to be on time for appointments and able to judge how long a task will take. For an In Time person, the past exists behind them and the future in front. They are very much “in the moment” and not as aware of time duration, thus tending to misjudge the length of time required for a task and tending to be late for appointments. It is believed that memories will generally be associated.

Using Time Lines Time Lines, like all experience, have structure and therefore have submodalities. These may easily be manipulated to change the meaning of events which occurred in the past, or to influence events which may happen in the future. You may already know what sort of Time Line you have. In fact, you may be aware that you run two or more Time Lines, depending upon the type of task you’re engaged in. What if you don’t know what Time Line you have? You can usually elicit someone’s Time Line very directly by asking them to remember an event from the past, and then asking what direction that came from. Then ask them to think of a possible future event and ask what direction that came from. It is often easy to elicit someone’s Time Line merely by watching them talk about past, present and future events. They will tell you non-verbally. Some people even point as they speak!

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Exercise – Check out Your Time Line Relax and close your eyes, and then float up above your time line as if you were in an aeroplane and your line was far below. What does it look like? What is its shape? How thick is it? What texture? Warm? Cool? What direction does it run? Is it black/white or colour? How bright or dim is it? How clear or unclear is it? Is it moving or still? Look back along your time line and notice how you’ve represented all the events of your life. Are there areas which are darker or lighter? Does the colour differ? On your time line, pick out an insignificant event from your past. Make sure this is an event which is not at all important to you. What happens when you darken this area of your time line? Turn it black? What happens when you brighten it? White it out? What happens when you playfully boot it off your time line altogether? And turn it face down alongside your time line? And watch as it turns to dust and blows away in the breeze? And what delightful constructed memory could we put there instead? Let’s see. Look along your time line until you find a truly wonderful event and notice all of the features of your time line at that point. Alongside that wonderful event, make a duplicate of the time line at that point. A full-colour photo-copy. Take that full-colour photo-copy back to the point in your time line where you booted off that old, nothing memory, and gently insert the photo-copy into that point. Move back just before that point and look along your time line to where you are now. Notice the effect on the whole of your time line, including into the future. And when you’re ready, put your time line back where it belongs and come back to us here, now, in this room. Debrief.

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Exercise – Using the Time Line to Program Your Future (Effortless Goal Achievement) 1. In pairs, A asks B what they want. Use Well-formedness Conditions to help specify their outcomes and make sure the outcome is stated as completely as possible. (Make sure the outcome is not an emotional state, but an actual thing which your partner wishes to achieve. Putting an internal state into the future merely delays having it. We have already learned that any internal state is available now!) A helps B to create a detailed image of the desired outcome: use as many visual, auditory and kinaesthetic submodalities as necessary to get a very solid image. Anchor. A tells B to float above his/her time line and go to the future to the time when it would be most appropriate to have accomplished this desired outcome. A asks B to bring up the image of the desired outcome (fires anchor) and insert this into the time line, immediately then associating into the image. A asks B to notice their feelings and adjust their submodalities until they feel that the image is real. A asks B to step out of the desired outcome image and turn to look back at the present. A tells B to notice that all the events between then and now are changing and rearranging to totally support them in achieving their desired outcome. A tells B to return to the present and now look toward the future and notice that the accomplishment of this desired outcome sets a direction of achievement for them into the future. Note: If B requires certain resources to achieve their desired outcome, such as learning something, they can float back into a time in the past where they learned something (anything) easily, associate into this experience, anchor it and bring it with them. As they move along the time line from that point, tell them to look down and find the appropriate point to put all that they need in order to ensure their desired outcome. Debrief.

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Time Line: Eliminating a Limiting Decision
1. Client identifies a limiting decision he would like to be free of. 2. Instruct client to float above Time Line. 3. Client is instructed to float backwards in time, above his Time Line to the earliest event in his life that contained the limiting decision. 4. Client is instructed to float down into his Time Line at this point and notice the kinaesthetic sensations he experiences. 5. Instruct client to float back up above his Time Line and to float fifteen minutes backward in time, before the event and to float down onto Time Line. Tell the client that from this vantage point to look toward the future and ask themselves "Now where are those sensations?" (Not there) Then have the client ask themselves, "Now where is the limiting decision?" (Also not there.) 6. Instruct the client to form a new decision and to formulate that new decision in all systems (VAK). Then instruct the client to: "float forward along your Time Line towards NOW only as quickly as you allow all similar decisions and memories to reevaluate themselves in just the same way, in light of your new decision and choices about feeling the way you want in this kind of experience ... taking all the time you need ... so that the closer you get to NOW, the more permanently free of that limiting decision you become, haven't you? As you come forward to NOW, notice that your choices increase geometrically in light of your new decision and when you’re ready float down into NOW, trying in vain not to become deliriously happy as you experience your newfound and lasting freedom." 7. When client has floated back to now, instruct them to take all the time you need to enjoy the process as it integrates and open your eyes when you have, at both the conscious and unconscious level, firmly solidified your decision and the new choices you NOW have, don't you?" 8. TEST: Instruct the client to go back and try in vain to re-access the old memories and feelings. If they are emotionally flat (neutral) or happy about what they now experience you are finished. If not go back and redo the process.

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New Behaviour Generator
1. 2. Pick a specific behaviour you want to have in a situation you have never been in. Select some person as a model, real or fictional, who elegantly exhibits this behaviour. Make a movie. You are the director. See the images and hear the soundtrack as the model goes through the situation you picked. If you are not satisfied at this point, pick a different model until you are satisfied. Substitute the model for your own image and voice in this short movie and sound track. Check ecology. Notice! Are their any circumstances where this behaviour is not appropriate? How will this new behaviour effect my life and the lives of those around me? If not satisfied, modify the film until it is exactly what you want and reed. Step into the image and feel what it is like to have this new behaviour. Build it up. Hear the entire soundtrack, music and voices and everything. Feel what it's like to be in your own body having this new behaviour. See all around you how other people and other things look when you have this new behaviour. What new things are you telling yourself? How differently does your future look? How differently do you look at your past? What new and wonderful feelings do you have as a result of having this new behaviour? Ask yourself when will be a good time to use this new behaviour in the near future? What will you see, hear and feel that indicates to you that it will be useful to begin to behave in this new fashion? When you have completely discovered what you will see, hear and feel, go back through step #5. Pick another situation where this new behaviour will be useful to you. What will you see, hear and feel specifically that will let you know when to begin to activate your new behaviour? When you have it, do step #5 again. Continue to rehearse step #6 through #8 until you are confident that you have a automatic trigger for your new behaviour. Celebrate and congratulate yourself!

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