Observing Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors
Mary Garcia
Capella University
COM-FP3200
Winter 2016

Introduction
Nonverbal cues and behaviors are a very important part of communication. These things shape the person we are as well as our style of communicating. Research has estimated that nonverbal communication accounts for up to 93 percent of communication meaning. Two important things to remember are as follows: 1. Nonverbal communication is all elements of communication other than words. 2. Scholars state that the majority of meaning comes from nonverbal behaviors (Wood & Bodey, p. 94).
Nonverbal Behavior between Men and Women
In observing conversations between men and women, women will nod their heads to indicate that they are listening, whereas men will usually only nod their heads showing that they agree with what was said. Men are surprised later to find that the woman actually disagreed with him because she was nodding her head. Women can interpret the lack of nodding as an indicator that he was either not listening or was disinterested in what she was stating (Lieberman, 2016, para. 6). I have personally experienced this in my relationship with my significant other. The lack of eye contact or any verbal or nonverbal response leads me to believe he isn’t listening. Sometimes this is true but other times he is listening, he just doesn’t give me the nonverbal or verbal cues that he is actively listening to me.
Another noticeable difference is nonverbal communication between men and women is the way they prefer to be approached. Women usually like someone to approach them from the front so she can assess whether or not they pose a threat. Men, however, prefer to be approached at an angle or from the side as the front approach can be interpreted as confrontational or aggressive. What can be learned from this is if you want to approach a man, approach from the side and if you want to approach a woman, walk up to her in the front so that she can see you coming ("7 body language differences of the sexes," n.d., para. 1).
Gendered Nonverbal Communication in Public
When men and women communicate in public, they are a variety of observable differences. Women will stand closer together when talking, when men will stand farther apart. Women use more frequent eye contact and men less. Women have a tendency to take up less space. They hold their legs together and will keep their arms either crossed or closer to their body. Men will stand with their legs at a ten to fifteen degree angle and hold their arms away from their bodies. In watching a couple converse at Starbucks, the women sat with her legs together and crossed at the ankles and the man sat with his legs stretched out and crossed an the ankles ("Gender and non-verbal communication," n.d.).
Traditional Expectations: Nonverbal Communication
In exploring the traditional expectations of men and women in relation to nonverbal communication, women are perceived as more expressive, warmer, and more skilled at nonverbal communication than their male counterparts. The gender difference was larger when men and women realized they were being observed and had instructions to get to know each other. Women are more likely to touch others, men may show a reluctance to touch other men (Bognaro, 2012, para. 2-3).
Women’s faces are seen as more expressive and they tend to smile more often than men. They also tend to make and maintain eye contact during a conversation. When shaking hands, there is a stronger tendency for the man to touch the woman when they are younger and not committed to one another. This balance shifts to more touching from the woman in older, more established couples. This could possibly be because men are using touch to establish the relationship, and use touch less when the relationship becomes established. The shift to more touch from the woman could be her way of maintaining it (Bognaro, 2012, para. 5).
Violations of Nonverbal Expectations
Expectancy Violation Theory (EVT) was developed by Judee Burgoon and is one of the few to focus on nonverbal communication. Burgoon and her colleagues have focused much of their investigation on personal space (West & Turner, 2016, Chapter 8).
There are two types of expectancies, predictive that defines communication within a certain environment and prescriptive or behavior displayed appropriate the environment. The nonverbal expectation could be perceived as negative or positive, so the impact of the violation would be different in each situation. When interacting with a sales person for example, if we get an expectation that they will not be honest and upfront and the price will be high and the exact opposite proves to be the case, there is a violation of our expectation. This is actually a pleasant outcome to the violation as opposed to expecting empathy and understanding from a health care professional and instead being treated with disrespect and condemnation ("Communication theory," n.d.).
Conclusion
Clearly, communication consists of more than verbal conversation. Our facial expressions, body language, eye contact, gestures and posture speak louder than words. When our nonverbal communication is at odds with our verbal, the listener can get mixed messages and have to choose whether to believe your words or your nonverbal cues. In a majority of cases, the nonverbal will win out because that is what broadcasts our real feelings and intentions. To become better at communication, becoming better at reading other’s nonverbal cues is important but you should become more aware of your own too. ("Improving our nonverbal skills and reading body language," n.d., para. 1-2).

References
Bognaro, A. (2012). Women’s and men’s nonverbal communication. Retrieved April 11, 2016, from https://prezi.com/zwpbatmhdwhr/womens-and-mens-nonverbal-communication/
Communication theory. (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2016, from http://communicationtheory.org/expectancy-violation-theory/
Gender and non-verbal communication. (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2016, from https://wvde.state.wv.us/abe/HTGR/difficult/gendernonverbal.pdf
Lieberman, S. (2016, February 2). Differences in male and female communication styles [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://www.simmalieberman.com/simma/differences-in-male-and-female-communication-styles/
Nonverbal communication: Improving our nonverbal skills and reading body language. (n.d.). Retrieved April 5, 2016, from http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/nonverbal-communication.htm
Science of people: 7 body language differences of the sexes. (n.d.). Retrieved April 10, 2016, from http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/02/body-language-differences-sexes/
West, R., & Turner, L. H. (2016). Expectancy violations theory: The relationship and its development in communication theory. In Introducing communication theory: Analysis and application (2nd ed., Ch. 8). Retrieved from http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/0767430344/student_view0/chapter8/index.html
Wood, J., & Bodey, K. (). Gendered lives: Communication, gender, and culture. Retrieved April 1, 2016, from https://courserooma.capella.edu/bbcswebdav/institution/COM-FP/COM-FP3200/Version0715/Course_Files/cf_assessment_3_context.html
Woods, J. T. (2010). Gendered lives: Communication, gender and culture. , . Retrieved from https://courserooma.capella.edu/bbcswebdav/institution/COM-FP/COM-FP3200/Version0715/Course_Files/cf_assessment_2_context.html