I would like to start with why values are so important, regardless of whose or what they may be. Values give us a perspective of what’s foremost in our lives, what it is we should be striving for and what we should be doing with our time to actualize them, time being the key word. There are so many things in life we can do later or just anytime we want, ex, hanging with friends, going shopping, playing on our phones! But what we most defiantly cannot do is get back lost time we spent doing these things, and not spending these precious times with our families or whatever it is that is most important to you.
Family is the most influential value in my life; I equate it with a new song rising its way to the top of the charts. I like to think that family has always been a part of who I am, that without my parents I wouldn’t be half the man I am today. However, I’ve been married for 3 years to my beautiful, intelligent wife and have two crazy but equally beautiful girls, and I know without a doubt that family has risen to the top of my value chart and isn’t going anywhere. I also know that it’s the hardest value to be good at. In comparison to my other values it’s extremely new, and sometimes seems foreign to me. I know that it’s a work in progress and I will do my best to understand it.
Quote “I was angry and frustrated until I started my own family and my first child was born. Until then I didn’t really appreciate life the way I should have, but fortunately I woke up.” – Johnny Depp.
Understanding is the second value I hold to be essential in my life. I strive to find understanding in many situations, be it school, work, the news, and of course family and myself. If I could achieve just a measure of this in these areas I believe I would be a better person, not only for myself but for others around me that interact with. Quote “Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.” -Dalai Lama My third meaningful value is patience. I would like to expand on this more but cannot ignore this quote that illustrates it better than I could articulate it “The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. It gives us a certain amount of inner peace, which allows us some self-control, so that we can choose to respond to situations in an appropriate and compassionate manner, rather than being driven by our disturbing behaviors.” - Dalai Lama These three values have helped me immensely when I’ve been put in positions of leadership. All three of them are effective alone but when intertwined they give me the ability to lead in effective and efficient way. My leadership approach is not made up of these three values alone, there are many different elements I’ve used depending on the situation and the personnel involved. My tendency is to pick up certain traits or tools that I’ve seen in others when leading that I found to be effective. My character, although certainly flawed in many aspects, has been built through everything I’ve encountered and sometimes endured, none of which I’ll go into. Regardless if those events were positive or negative makes no difference, they were all learning opportunities that hopefully make me a stronger leader, father, husband, and overall person to society. Even good people (that of good moral judgment) will make mistakes, the situation dictates the outcome. Often while watching the news I hear people saying how they would have reacted in a dire situation and I think to myself no you don’t. I strongly believe that no one can predict how one will act unless you’ve been through it. Although I’m not completely certain of this, I think it could be argued that in order to be a good successful leader one has to be a bad leader first, trial and ever. There is no substitute for experience. However, just like any athlete or soldier one must perfect their craft, and to practice and understand our values can only help.