Ostracism
“Pain can be alleviated by morphine, but the pain of social ostracism cannot be taken away,” according to Derek Jarman. This quote says a lot about ostracism because some people don’t realize it can affect someone’s life. Ostracism can make people feel really bad about themselves because then they believe that something is wrong with them. Also, it can be something that is hard to let go of, or overcome for a very long time, maybe even their whole life. As a result, ostracism may create many obstacles. Many people feel ostracized because of the obstacles that they must overcome.
First, one obstacle that can cause people to feel ostracized is lack of social skills. Poor social skills can make it harder for people to make friends. People with poor social skills can talk too little, so that can be annoying to normal people. On the other hand, some people lack social skills to the extent that they choose not to engage others in conversation. In the book Look Me in the Eye, John Elder said, “Sometimes I think I can relate better to a good machine than any kind of person” (Robison 151). John Elder didn’t really understand people; he tried to, but people would just shut him down and not talk to him. Machines were pretty much his friends; therefore, he lacked the ability to make friends. Second, people with social problems can get bullied, and it can make them feel uncomfortable. For example, children with social problems can get bullied for being too smart, or talking too much about a certain subject. Temple Grandin was bullied a lot when the schools administration took her squeeze machine out of her room. One of the girls in her dorm mumbled under her breath that she was a pervert (Temple Grandin). The girl thought Temple’s squeeze machine was some kind of sex machine, so she talked about Temple under her breath. Even this subtle comment can be a form of bullying. Next, another obstacle that can cause people to feel ostracized is by having poor coping skills. People who have difficulties with changes in their routine may struggle dealing with it. For example, someone with a certain routine may have to leave an event early because he/she has to stick to a routine. This kind of person tends to get anxious when out of routine. “You’d think anyone would be delighted to be here. Not me. All the small things I’d come to expect in life were missing” (Robison 115). When John Elder took a vacation, it wasn’t what he expected, so he didn’t enjoy it. He just wanted to stay home and eat the same foods he always ate, and do the things he was used to doing. In addition, someone with poor coping skills can get overwhelmed and may want to isolate themselves away from others. Some people may want to isolate themselves away from others if they are making them feel uncomfortable. If they were at a big party, they may want to stay on the outside because they aren’t used to being in big crowds. In the movie Temple Grandin, Temple went to her room a lot to isolate herself from others, and to use her squeeze machine to calm herself (Temple Grandin). Temple’s squeeze machine helped her feel like a changed girl. She also used it to get away from everyone and to be by herself. Finally, having a mental disability can make people feel ostracized. Having Asperger’s could make it hard to fit in because it isn’t something people are used to, and people with Asperger’s have difficulties in social situations. For example, someone with Asperger’s may fail to develop peer relationships. In school, these students tend to keep to themselves and sit alone. In the book Look Me in the Eye, John Elder went to a party and told all of the people there crazy, shocking stories that weren’t even true about being a garbage man (Robison 100). He had very poor social skills, so not many people wanted to speak to him. Furthermore, he did not want to speak to them. In addition, having developmental disabilities can be challenging for people who go to school and try to make friends. People with developmental disabilities may talk too much because they don’t understand social boundaries. They might think that everyone is their friend. In the article “Just a Normal Girl,” Katie was a very social girl. “She calls ‘Hello’ and ‘How are you?’ to all the students she passes- whether or not she knows them” (Leslie 1). Katie didn’t know how to have normal conversations with people. Socially, she struggled because she didn’t understand the right way to talk to someone. Jarman really does understand how painful being ostracized can be to someone. With all of these obstacles, overcoming ostracism becomes very hard to do. Ostracism can make people feel unwanted, sad, angry, or depressed. Even the feelings can be obstacles because they still keep them from their happiness. Overcoming the obstacles can be life changing to some, like John Elder; he began making friends and being more social, and it changed his life for the better.

Works Cited
Kaufman, Leslie. "Just a Normal Girl." New York Times 5 Nov. 2006, late ed., east coast: 4A.24. ProQuest. Web. 31 October 2014.
Robison, John Elder. Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s. New York: Broadway Paperbacks, 2008. Print.
Temple Grandin. Dir. Mick Jackson. HBO Films, 2010. Film.