JC Molina Tina Golaw ENGL 1A West Valley College September 13, 2011 Narrative Essay rough draft Quick trip to hell

I am going to die and go to hell.

I repeated the words over and over again in my head as I walked home from school. I didn't know why I was condemned to hell; however, I knew that Mr. Okawsky, my bible teacher, lectured under his cafenated breath, “All homosexuals will go to hell.”

The path home was long and hard. Thinking about my future I noticed that there was no point in living. I couldn't help but to repeat Mr. Okawsky’s words in my head. The lecture burned my whole being; like, a fire quickly incinerates a news paper to a dust. My mind was racing life the horses at golden gate fields that I used to watch on the TV. At my new school I didn't feel welcomed since the first day. I was called a fagot on the first day of school and since then I have hated the christian school. In my mind I argued with my self,

Am I going to burn in hell? Why? What the fuck did I do to deserve that? I didn't choose to be gay. If I am going to go to hell why should I continue to live this shitty life?

Once I arrived home I was glutted with depression. I had never told my secret to anybody in my family so I did not have any body to talk to. I walked down the long lonely hall. As I walked down the hall I could hear the house creekas I walked into the Kitchen. Filled with loneliness and sadness I went straight to my families medicine cabinet, opened the wooden door and gazed at the hundreds of bottles. I knew at least one of them would help me with my sadness. I grabbed the orange tube and breathed. I felt relaxed holding the pill bottle in my hand. After taking a moment with the bottle I walked straight to my room. Down the creaky hall and into my brightly colored room.

While in my room. I stared at the bottle filled with oblong white pills and envisioned closure. Closure was good. It would clear me of insults, hatred, and life.

Why am I still alive? I'm made fun of every day.

I thought of one thing; one thing that would change only my life. Why was I going to cope with people treating me like I didn't matter. All of the hundreds og time that i was called gay or fagot like it was a bad thing...

I reached for the bottle of pills and took a few. I then dosed off.