...Write a paragraph of 150 to 300 words that summarizes the revision changes recommended. Be sure to examine the following questions and provide examples to support each response: * Does each topic sentence directly address the thesis as well as state the topic? * Does each paragraph have an effective closing that reinforces the main point? * Is the essay coherent? Does it flow from beginning to end? * Is the order of the support logical and effective? * Does the essay provide strong evidence to support any opinions? * Does the essay reflect on the evidence and explain its importance? * Does the essay use strong transitions between sentences and between paragraphs? When it comes to revising your essay there are key questions that you want to ask yourself and make sure that they are answered. You want to make sure that the topic sentence of each paragraph addresses your thesis statement; such as different types of weight loss methods, each paragraphs’ topic sentence should be a different method. You want to make sure that each paragraph has an effective closing statement that reinforces that main point of the essay; like saying that a specific method will help to contribute to the weight loss. When writing an essay you want to make sure that you grab your readers’ attention and keep it throughout the entire paper. You do not want to talk about how a banana is yellow, then say how high the ball can bounce, then back to describing the banana...
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...Revision: Cultivating a Critical Eye On this page: * Why and How to Revise * Developing Objectivity * Analyzing Your Work * Tips For Revision Why And How To Revise Most of us who compose on a computer understand revision as an ongoing, even constant process. Every time you hit the delete button, every time you cut and paste, every time you take out a comma or exchange one word for another, you're revising. But real revision is more than making a few changes here and there. Real revision requires that you open yourself up to the possibility that parts of your paper - and even your entire paper - might need to be re-thought, and re-written. Achieving this state of mind is difficult. First, you might be very attached to what you've written. You may be unwilling to change a word, let alone three or four paragraphs. Second, there is the matter of time: you sense that the paper needs major work, but it's due tomorrow, or you have an exam in physics, or you're coming down with a cold and know that you need to sleep. Third, you may have difficulty understanding what, exactly, is wrong with your paper. Finally, you might simply be sick and tired of your paper. How can you give it another go-through when exhaustion has you in its grip? Why should you be bothered with (or overwhelmed by) the process of revising? Of course, we might convince you that revision is worth the extra effort simply by saying that revising a paper will help you to achieve a better grade. A...
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...Buns Bakery Part 2 #2 Buns Bakery should revise the numbers to show only the 10% drop in sales like Nicole has been suggesting to Jeff. Jeff is concerned with his bonus for the first quarter but what Jeff is failing to realize is that if they do not get the financing from the VC firm he won’t be getting any bonuses in the near term. Jeff needs to sacrifice immediate gratification for the long term growth of the company. By revising the numbers it would show the VC that the support is there for the additional investment. This is the simplest solution and it is not a drastic change. Nicole has already done the preliminary industry studies to support this revision and the change is warranted. #3 We recommend that Buns Bakery hire a collection specialist to improve the rate that is collected in the first quarter and change the terms to 15 net 30. A quick solution would be to have the summer intern Bob start the process by calling on the accounts that fail to pay in a timely manner. Even though they have no bad debt having Bob start to lay the ground work for the change can go a long way in making this a smooth transition. Buns could also offer incentives to customers that pay before the 30th day; some suggestions would be a 1-2% discount or offer credit on the next order if the previous order way paid within the 30 day terms. We would also recommend to Buns that they move to a JIT inventory system. By moving to the JIT system Buns would be able to adjust to any...
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...Study Based on Analysis of Existing Study Methodist College English 201 When writing compositions revision is an extremely important part of the process. Revision strategies can help by providing different approaches in terms of spelling and proofreading. Research has shown that people learn and absorb information differently. It is highly probable that when someone writes any type of composition they could benefit from using different revision strategies. In 2011, TEFLL Department, Faculty of Foreign Languages published a research study written by Professors Mojgan Rashtchi and Mojdeh Ghandi titled “Writing Revision Strategies: Do they Enhance Writing Ability”. The purpose of Professor Rashtchi and Professor Ghandi study was to investigate whether three types of revision strategies peer revision, self-revision enforced by checklist revision as compared to teacher revision have any significant impact on the writing ability of Iranian EFL (English as Foreign Language) learners. (Rashtchi & Ghandi, 2011) They want to impart that revising is an important part of the writing process and that using different revision strategies help produce better written compositions, communication and critical thinking skills. There are copious flaws with this study in their documented methods, results and analysis. Methods Participants Participants were selected from a sample of eighty Iranian male and female students between the ages of 19-24. All participants were majoring in...
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...on suicidal awareness offered by Brantford Counselling. We also talk about how it will help her to understand her feeling and thoughts. Sophie was given the opportunity to consider this option, and make her own decisions. 5) New Information: Sophie has mentioned that last night she was feeling very anxious and drunk until she passed out; she does not remember how she returned to home. The client also stated that she has being doing it often and it is getting out of control. 6) Social Worker/ Social Service Work Skill or approach used: -The client was listened attentively; I show empathy trying to normalize the situation and show understanding and support to the client. The client was suggested to attend rehabilitation before her drinking problem worsen. - The client was reminded to continue to practice the coping strategies outlined on the intervention plan, and to contact the emergency number in case of a crisis. 7) Intervention Plan Progress: - The client has been able to communicate with her mother using a more positive and sensitive approach; however, they have not been able to spend quality...
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...parents need to be educated on the issues and involved in advocating for the new regulation. Their involvement will give ABC’s advocacy work the necessary visible support of young families. However, few young parents participate in ABC’s advocacy programs, preferring to join XYZ for their relevant information and support groups or LMN for their help in addressing problems in the school system. ABC recognizes that young parents have a limited amount of free time and wants to make it easy for them to participate in its advocacy efforts. In addition, ABC needs to be a good steward of its resources and not compete for clients with other organizations that are providing excellent complementary services. Purpose of the alliance The purpose of this alliance is to • Share information about the proposed school regulation • Recruit young parents into the project • Provide training to young parents so that they can assist in revising the proposed school regulation • Defray the costs of parent involvement in the project Outcomes An alliance of ABC, XYZ, and LMN (and perhaps other partners) will directly impact people with disabilities and their families and make a difference in their lives for years to come. The involvement of informed, concerned constituents will influence policy makers and help to make needed revisions in the proposed school regulation. The first steps Before...
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...This assignment requires you to develop your own customized Individual Communication Development Plan (“ICDP”). Although writing instructors, tutors, assignments, and models can help you improve, you simply must take responsibility for your own writing and speaking progress. I will assess, critique, mark up, and grade your papers and presentations, but unless you commit to your own personalized self-development plan, progress will likely be slow at best, particularly given the time pressures while you are in this program. Some of you may already be familiar with the Individual Development Plan (IDP), which is typically a statement of career goals and a plan for how to achieve those goals. See, for example, the Department of Defense’s Individual Development Plan (General Guidelines for Charting your Career Path) at http://www.usuhs.mil/chr/idp.pdf, which is actually my inspiration for Assignment #3. Key to this and other similar approaches is that individuals are empowered to take responsibility for their own self-development. By requiring that you create your own Individual Communication Development Plan, I am encouraging you to manage your own communication development. You should use this Plan to chart your progress throughout the remainder of the program (and beyond). You should frequently revise your ICDP, based on improvement and/or new issues and goals. And you should keep me posted on your development. Here’s another way to think about this plan. Working with...
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...focus look very good for this paper, and I can see this will be a strong research paper. However, right now your thesis statement is the weak link in your preparation for it. Your thesis states one fact, which is fairly easy to substantiate. It's not an arguable proposition that needs a research paper to back it up. Your thesis statement should encapsulate the whole point of your paper, and every point that you want to make in the paper should relate directly back to the thesis. From my review of your Areas of Focus, it seems to me that your thesis should be summarizing how Apple's newer products saved the company from its previous decline. Please revise your thesis and repost it here, or email the revision to me (or both). Red light until you make the revisions. Please let me know if you need help with this. __________________ Professor Martha Crone cronem@franklin.edu...
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...Week of 4/7 to 4/11 Mandatory Meetings Tuesday, 4/8 In class: Editorial Meeting (Complete Peer Review letters) Due: Body of “Propose a solution” Thursday, 4/10 In Class: Revise Body/opening Review Document Plan Two Due: Revised presentation Friday 4/11 11:59 pm Due “Propose a Solution” Don’t compose the end of your Paper. Upload as a google doc; invite assigned Week of 4/22 to 4/26 Mandatory Meetings with Robert Tuesday, 4/22 Due: Document Plan Two In class: Site Build: Reporting Information Thursday, 4/24 Due: Editorial Meeting (Complete Peer Review Letters) In class: Site build: Reporting Information Tuesday, 4/29 In class: Revision Workshop; bring essay to revise Present: Your Webcase Thursday 5/1 In class: Revision Workshop; bring essay to revise Present: Your Webcase Tuesday 5/6 In class: Open Present: Your webcase: Thursday 5/8 Last Day (Mandatory: Failure to attend will affect your grade Thursday 5/15 Complete Webcase Due. Send link to introsummer@gmail.com. Drop off hard copies between 10 and Noon. Location...
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...To: All EBG Employees From: Human Resources Director Date: 25th January 2014 Subject: Company Education Policy Revisions ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EBG will be revising its policy for education and tuition reimbursements while also offering courses. The policy revisions are geared towards making these courses and education more accessible to all full-time employees. To Increase Work Performance In six-months-time, EBG will be offering beginner, intermediate and advanced level courses in reading, writing, and math. Managers may recommend that certain employees go on one or more of these courses. Employees are also free to take any courses at their own discretion. Criteria & Useful Information * The courses will take place during work hours with all criteria covered by EBG. * Under new guidelines, employees will be paid as normal for the hours while in class with all study material and books being provided by EBG. * However, EBG will not cover homework and personal study time as these will be the employees' personal responsibilities. * In addition, we will track all course progress during quarterly performance and annual salary reviews. For Qualified Employees Requiring Further Training * Employees who are qualified beyond these courses, but still require further training to keep up with scientific advancements and knowledge, will be encouraged to...
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...Revising has to do with “looking over” what you have already drafted. It somewhat goes hand-in-hand with proofreading, but in this stage you are searching out parts you may not like as much or parts that wouldn’t fit in with the message you want to convey. Rather than quickly looking over it as you would a text message, revision in the business world involves time and much attention. Not doing so can possibly cause frustration, confusion, and even delays due to the perception of your audience. More importantly, what your message comes out to be could reflect your character, and your way of thinking. It is easier to revise as you write, making it easier to revise later in your writing. You would also want to understand the purpose of your writing and sum up your audience by determining their needs. You’d also want to determine if you would be taking a direct or indirect approach, but you do not want to sound passive. Producing is the more creative part of the writing process. Depending on the medium you choose, a number of things can be done in order to produce or enliven your message. Whether you are formatting or wanting to add visual effects, these tasks would be considered part of the producing step. This involves graphs/tables, captions, fonts, margins, proper spacing, etc. Similar to revising, the main purpose of proofreading is to check for errors such as grammar, spelling, punctuation, missing sources, missing visuals, etc. It’s also good to make sure you’re following...
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...Researching Opportunities – Examination Revision and Evaluation In able to revise in the best possible way I created an action plan so that I could arrange my week before the exam. I thought that this would be practical because I would be able to make the most of my time in order to revise for the exam. I started by identifying my free time and preparing a time table that would be easy to follow and that would help me to obtain the best possible result. In my plan I included how long and at what time I was going to revise and also incorporated what revision techniques I was going to use that day. I took certain points in to consideration for example if I had to change a shift at work or if something urgent came up, I did this because it is hard to know exactly how my week way really going to go. Since my GCSE’s I have not done any exams, so I felt quite nervous about having to do one. When I was in school I used to revise by reading through my notes and high lighting the relevant information, then summarising the information on to flash cards. I also used to create mock questions so that I could answer them, eventually without using any notes or flash cards. Since I have used these techniques in the past I thought that it was a good idea to use them to revise for the psychology exam. Once I had identified my free time I found it very easy to put together my action plan. I created a timetable of the week before the exam and then planned out what I need to do and when I...
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...The Importance of Revision Analysis 8.1 Analysis 8.1 Krystin Tucker EN1420 Why is it important to revise an essay? Many would say to help have your key points put into perspective. Others would say to make sure you have meet all the minimum requirements just to make sure to you get a decent grade. Even though it can be a hassle and sometimes time can be of the essence when it comes to writing an essay it’s always good to take another look at your essay. Revising can help you fix any errors and give you the chance to have someone else look at the paper and give you their views. You can even search for more information just in case you feel your paper needs facts. Regardless if you think your essay is ready for submitting revising it can be beneficial to anyone. The benefit to revising your paper can help you make sure that you’ve hit all the key fundamental points you initially had a rough draft of. By reading through your essay you can go back a highlight and make any grammar errors you may have missed. You can try and look for things that may or may not make sense and place notes on your paper that will help you remember where the errors are. All of this can help you get the grade you deserve especially if the effort to write this essay was very time consuming. Making sure all errors and key points are in check so that whoever reads this paper understands the points that you were trying to get across. Now asking for someone to read your essay can be a huge benefit. Someone...
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...report and felt unsure whether your ideas are clear or not, or if you've found yourself staring at a draft and didn't know exactly what to do to revise what you have written, you are not alone. It's challenging to look at your own writing and know what works and doesn't. This happens because when you write, you know what you want to say to your audience and the ideas as a result make sense to you. Often times, though, what makes sense to you as a writer may not be clear to the audience. Writers need feedback that gives them perspective and objectivity so during the revision process they know what is effective and what is ineffective in their documents and can work to solve any problems in content and organization that might prevent what they have written from reaching their audience and achieving their purpose. Peer-reviews, as you leaned in Unit 5, allow you to share what you've written and get specific revision suggestions from classmates. At this point, though, it is helpful to understand what to do with the feedback you received. Some types of feedback such as praise and personal opinion, for example, will give you insight about your readers and the parts of your essay that caught their attention. When revising, you can use that knowledge as confirmation that you are on the right track or take it as a suggestion to add more of that type of information or detail in the essay to keep these readers engaged. Other types of feedback that question what you mean or request evidence...
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...creating revision timetables, rather than trying to revise all your subjects every week, focus on revising half of the subjects you’re taking in one week and the other half the following week, etc. A revision timetable tells you what you need to revise each day and puts you in control of your revision. Don’t worry if at any point you get behind. By working towards revising all topics by your first exam, you can catch up between exams. EXAMPLE PLANNER WEEK English Language Monday WEEK 1 Writing (1 hour) Sunday French Geography Transport (1 hour) Vectors (1 hour) Evolution (1 hour) Saturday Nerves and hormones (1 hour) TOTAL Triangles (1 hour) 1 hour 3 hours 2 hours 1 hour Volcanoes (1 hour) Waves (1 hour) 3 hours 3 hours 2 hours Settlements (1 hour) Friday TOTAL 2 hours Trade/Aid (1 hour) Energy (1 hour) Thursday 2. nter the name of the topic you are going to be E revising and how long you are going to revise for against each day of the week (see example planner on the right) Physics Enzymes (1 hour) Wednesday 1. rite the name of the subjects you are revising W along the top. Make a note of which week your planner is for and create a new planner for each week of your revision timetable. (Template is on the next page so you can print off as many as you need) Biology Sport (1 hour) Fractions (1 hour) Tuesday Create your revision plan ...
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