Wanted? I never wanted step parents, step sisters or step dogs. In fact, I like the thought about as much as kissing frogs.

I never wanted holidays to come “Home” and “Away,” with halftime in the car so both teams could play.

I never wanted to sit and add up all the “normal” things I’ve missed. Don’t ask me WHAT I wanted, I just never wanted this.

Rylant, Cynthia. “Shells” from Every Living Thing by Cynthia Rylant.
Copyright © 1988.

“You hate living here.”
Michael looked at the woman speaking to him.
“No, Aunt Esther. I don’t.” He said it dully, sliding his milk glass back and forth on the table. “I don’t hate it here.”
Esther removed the last pan from the dishwasher and hung it above the oven.
“You hate it here,” she said, “and you hate me.”
“I don’t!” Michael yelled. “It’s not you!”
The woman turned to face him in the kitchen.
“Don’t yell at me!” she yelled. “I’ll not have it in my home. I can’t make you happy, Michael. You just refuse to be happy here. And you punish me every day for it.”
“Punish you?” Michael gawked at her. “I don’t punish you! I don’t care about you! I don’t care what you eat or how you dress or where you go or what you think. Can’t you just leave me alone?”
He slammed down the glass, scraped his chair back from the table and ran out the door.
“Michael!” yelled Esther.
They had been living together, the two of them, for six months. Michael’s parents had died and only Esther could take him in—or, only she had offered to. Michael’s other relatives could not imagine dealing with a fourteen-year-old boy. They wanted peaceful lives.
Esther lived in a condominium in a wealthy section of Detroit. Most of the area’s residents were older (like her) and afraid of the world they lived in (like her). They stayed indoors much of the time. They trusted few people.
Esther liked living alone. She had never married or had children. She had never lived anywhere but Detroit. She liked her condominium.
But she was fiercely loyal to her family, and when her only sister had died, Esther insisted she be allowed to care for Michael. And Michael, afraid of going anywhere else, had accepted.
Oh, he was lonely. Even six months after their deaths, he still expected to see his parents—sitting on the couch as he walked into Esther’s living room, waiting for the bathroom as he came out of the shower, coming in the door late at night. He still smelled his father’s Old Spice somewhere, his mother’s talc.
Sometimes he was so sure one of them was somewhere around him that he thought maybe he was going crazy. His heart hurt him. He wondered if he would ever get better.
And though he denied it, he did hate Esther. She was so different from his mother and father.
Prejudiced—she admired only those who were white and Presbyterian. Selfish—she wouldn’t allow him to use her phone. Complaining—she always had a headache or a backache or a stomach ache.
He didn’t want to, but he hated her. And he didn’t know what to do except lie about it.
Michael hadn’t made any friends at his new school, and his teachers barely noticed him. He came home alone every day and usually found Esther on the phone. She kept in close touch with several other women in nearby condominiums.
Esther told her friends she didn’t understand Michael. She said she knew he must grieve for his parents, but why punish her? She said she thought she might send him away if he couldn’t be nicer. She said she didn’t deserve this.
But when Michael came in the door, she always quickly changed the subject.
One day after school Michael came home with a hermit crab. He had gone into a pet store, looking for some small living thing, and hermit crabs were selling for just a few dollars.
He’d bought one, and a bowl.
Esther, for a change, was not on the phone when he arrived home. She was having tea and a crescent roll and seemed cheerful. Michael wanted badly to show someone what he had bought. So he showed her.
Esther surprised him. She picked up the shell and poked the long, shiny nail of her little finger at the crab’s claws.
“Where is he?” she asked.
Michael showed her the crab’s eyes peering through the small opening of the shell.
“Well, for heaven’s sake, come out of there!” she said to the crab, and she turned the shell upside down and shook it.
“Aunt Esther!” Michael grabbed for the shell.
“All right, all right.” She turned it right side up. “Well,” she said, “what does he do?”
Michael grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “Just grows, I guess.”
His aunt looked at him.
“An attraction to a crab is something I cannot identify with. However, it’s fine with me if you keep him, as long as I can be assured he won’t grow out of that bowl.” She gave him a hard stare.
“He won’t,” Michael answered. “l promise.”
The hermit crab moved into the condominium. Michael named him Sluggo and kept the bowl beside his bed. Michael had to watch the bowl for very long periods of time to catch Sluggo with his head poking out of his shell, moving around. Bedtime seemed to be Sluggo’s liveliest part of the day, and Michael found it easy to lie and watch the busy crab as sleep slowly came on.
One day Michael arrived home to find Esther sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at the bowl. Esther usually did not intrude in Michael’s room, and seeing her there disturbed him. But he stood at the doorway and said nothing.
Esther seemed perfectly comfortable, although she looked over at him with a frown on her face.
“I think he needs a companion,” she said.
“What?” Michael’s eyebrows went up as his jaw dropped down.
Esther sniffed.
“I think Sluggo needs a girl friend.” She stood up. “Where is that pet store?”
Michael took her. In the store was a huge tank full of hermit crabs.
“Oh my!” Esther grabbed the rim of the tank and craned her neck over the side. “Look at them!”
Michael was looking more at his Aunt Esther than at the crabs. He couldn’t believe it.
“Oh, look at those shells. You say they grow out of them? We must stock up with several sizes. See the pink in that one? Michael, look! He’s got his little head out!”
Esther was so dramatic—leaning into the tank, her bangle bracelets clanking, earrings swinging, red pumps clicking on the linoleum—that she attracted the attention of everyone in the store. Michael pretended not to know her well.
He and Esther returned to the condominium with a thirty-gallon tank and twenty hermit crabs.
Michael figured he’d have a heart attack before he got the heavy tank into their living room. He figured he’d die and Aunt Esther would inherit twenty-one crabs and funeral expenses.
But he made it. Esther carried the box of crabs.
“Won’t Sluggo be surprised?” she asked happily. “Oh, I do hope we’ll be able to tell him apart from the rest. He’s their founding father!”
Michael, in a stupor over his Aunt Esther and the phenomenon of twenty-one hermit crabs, wiped out the tank, arranged it with gravel and sticks (as well as the plastic scuba diver Aunt Esther insisted on buying) and assisted her in loading it up, one by one, with the new residents. The crabs were as overwhelmed as Michael. Not one showed its face.
Before moving Sluggo from his bowl, Aunt Esther marked his shell with some red fingernail polish so she could distinguish him from the rest. Then she flopped down on the couch beside Michael.
“Oh, what would your mother think, Michael, if she could see this mess we’ve gotten ourselves into!”
She looked at Michael with a broad smile, but it quickly disappeared. The boy’s eyes were full of pain.
“Oh, my,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Michael turned his head away.
Aunt Esther, who had not embraced anyone in years, gently put her arm about his shoulders.
“I am so sorry, Michael. Oh, you must hate me.”
Michael sensed a familiar smell then. His mother’s talc.
He looked at his aunt.
“No, Aunt Esther.” He shook his head solemnly. “I don’t hate you.”
Esther’s mouth trembled and her bangles clanked as she patted his arm. She took a deep, strong breath.
“Well, let’s look in on our friend Sluggo,” she said.
They leaned their heads over the tank and found him. The crab, finished with the old home that no longer fit, was coming out of his shell.