Running head: THE DEVASTATING RESULTS 1

The Devastating Results of Divorce on Children

The Devastating Results 2

Abstract
The sanctity of marriage, created by God, was intended for one man and one woman for life. At the Fall of man sin entered the world, and our fleshly desires began governing our actions and decisions. This is evident as we have seen our divorce rates reach nearly 50 percent. The no fault divorce has enabled us to make divorce such an easy “decision of convenience” for struggling marriages, and as a result we have become desensitized to its devastating ramifications. Though it is the adults who determine to dissolve the commitment, it is the children who suffer the greatest consequences. Divorce sets in motion a series of negative events and transitions that are related to the child’s psychological distress which is possibly more potent than the physical separation of parents. This will essentially affect the child in every aspect of his/her life - emotional, behavioral, educational, economical, and relational. Such ramifications are immediate as well as long term. To hinder the all too familiar “decisions of convenience” I emphatically believe the courts should return to its more restrictive divorce guidelines; and our nation needs to return to “One Nation Under God”.

The Devastating Results 3 Researching articles, journals, and other sources for my paper “The Devastating Results of Divorce on Children” has been an eye-opening experience. It seems only logical that divorce-related factors would have a significant impact on the identity crises and achievements of a child. But I grossly underestimated the extent to which these factors affected each and every area of the child’s life – emotional, behavioral, educational, economical, and relational. Surprisingly, much of the research that is found on this topic of divorce and children dates back as far as the 1960’s. Marital problems is nothing new, of course. However, with the convenience of the no-fault divorce, the number of divorces has risen drastically, and consequently, so have the number of children who suffer the effects of their parents “decision of convenience.” Because nearly one-third of American children will suffer the heartache of divorcing parents, we must try to completely understand and comprehend the full impact that divorce has on those children. Many of the effects will result in decreased academic success and behavior problems. A variety of studies have reported that children of divorced parents experience more adjustment problems than children who grow up in nuclear families. The findings reveal that a child is affected in every area of his life, and suggest that parental divorce increases the child’s chances to suffer decreased educational success, suffer depression, engage in early sex, and use illicit drugs. (Simons, 1999) Although the divorce affects all family members, research shows that the children are the ones who suffer the most stress. Not all marriages that end in divorce suffer intense marital conflict.

The Devastating Results 4
But children of divorced parents that were in these types of marriages are not only affected by the events following the breakup, but also by the dysfunctional processes that preceded the divorce. Another telling statistic is that children who were under the age of 17 years when their parents divorced are twice as likely as children who live with both their parents to reveal problem behavior, receive psychological help, and to be a high school drop out.
(Hines, 1997, pg.8) Some of the boundaries of a child’s development that may be violated after divorce is a shift in “power” or a sense of equality that a child may gain from a parent. This happens when a spouse begins to perceive the child(ren) as a best friend or “equal”. The developmental needs of the child(ren) then go unmet. And at times, these children may also assume the role of the “parent”, giving comfort to the actual parent who is no longer receiving comfort from their spouse. The child simply needs to be a child, but these are some of the real results of divorce. This shift in “power” for a child may occur due to the lack of partnership that does take place after a divorce. (Landucci, 2008, pg.4) Evidence also suggests that a child of divorce, when older, suffers from a lack of relationship stability and intimacy. Another that is associated with many children from divorced families is a weak commitment to a lifelong marriage. (Amoto, 2001, pg. 903) “Divorce and remarriage are viewed not as single, static events, but as part of a series of transitions, modifying the lives of children). In addition to the trauma of divorce itself (i.e., the conflict between parents that often precedes, accompanies, and follows divorce, the possible loss
The Devastating Results 5 and diminished contact with a parent, the potential of diminished parent effectiveness and decreases in economic support), divorce-related transitions often involve geographic moves, the addition of step siblings, and a new set of extended family members. Divorce followed by remarriage can involve the introduction of parent figures with multiple roles and overlapping relationships. Taken together, these divorce-related factors have a direct impact on the life courses of children and may be especially challenging for the adolescent who is simultaneously involved in critical developmental transitions.” (Hines, 1997, pg. Adolescents from divorced homes also find it difficult to invest in a relationship and find it equally as difficult to believe it can be stable and faithful. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989). Divorced related..pg9 There are some studies that suggest that it is more harmful for a young child to suffer through a divorce than for an adolescent. But there are other researchers who found no age effect. (Acock & Demo, 1994). However, adolescents may be better equipped to deal with their parent’s divorce than younger children because they are better able to cushion the effects of divorce through peer relationships (Hetherington, 1989; Wallerstein & Kelly, 1980). Divorce-Related Transitions, pg.9

The Devastating Results 6 The divorce’s impact is not limited to behavioral and relational problems. It also affects emotional stability within the child. More than twice as many adolescents from divorced families have visited mental health professionals than children that come from a home with both parents. (Hines 1997). The Impact of divorce, pg.6 According to another study, children from divorced parents may experience frustration and be more of a troublemaker at school, be tardy or even absent from school more often than children from a nuclear family. It is suggested that more responsibilities and household chores are given to the child that lives in a one-parent home, adding to their stress levels. They are also more likely to drop out of high school, and less likely to continue higher education. As adults, this affects their standard of living, which can result in a poor sense of self. This poor sense of self can lead to other relationship problems including infidelity, multiple divorces, and even domestic abuse.
The Impact of Divorce…pg.6 Much of the rise in divorce rates came after the passing of no-fault divorce laws. A divorce wasn’t always this easy to be granted. The United States divorce law was previously based on the fault system. One of the parties had to be found at fault for adultery, cruelty, or desertion. One was the “innocent” Petitioner, while the other was the “guilty” Respondent. The divorce could only be granted to the “innocent” petitioner, who had the burden to prove the respondent’s “fault”. Of course, this fault-based divorce law made it much more difficult to obtain a divorce. Marriage did not just end because “things did just not work out.” But critics of the fault-based

The Devastating Results 7 divorce said that too much hypocrisy was involved. For example, if both parties were agreeable to a divorce, but no “fault” could be given, then they would concoct a story to tell the courts so the divorce would be granted. So once “fault” was removed, divorce rates skyrocketed. To hinder the all too familiar “decision of convenience” I emphatically believe the courts should return to its more restrictive divorce guidelines. I believe this would be a deterrent to breakups of families in turmoil, and may, in turn, be a blessing to thousands of children whose lives would, otherwise, be affected in every way by their parents who just want “to get out.”
Robert Emery, in his book The Truth about Children and Divorce, speaks of his own child and his own divorce: “Fortunately, Maggie was a resilient child – as are most children whose parents divorce. But I never underestimated the real risks our divorce introduced into her life, nor did I forget the pain my divorce caused her at different points throughout her life or how grateful I am that she has grown into a happy, accomplished young woman. But I also believe that divorce was the best decision for me personally at that time.” It’s almost as if he is justifying his decision by downplaying the effects it had on his daughter’s life and emphasizing how it was a good choice for him personally. He said he didn’t underestimate the risks of his divorce on his daughter’s life. Yet he still decided to divorce her mother? Unfortunately, I feel as though many husbands and wives do the same thing, choosing to end the marriage as a “decision of convenience”, yet they do not fully realizing the magnitude of the effects it will have on their children’s lives. The Truth about Children and Divorce, intro

The Devastating Results 8

References
Allen, K. (1993). The dispassionate discourse of children’s adjustment to divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 55 (1), 46-50.

Amato, P., & Sobolewski, J., (2001). The effects of divorce and marital discord on adult children’s well-being. American Sociological, 66 (6) 900-921

Aseltine, Jr. R. (1996). Pathways linking parental divorce with adolescent depression. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 37 (2), 133-148.

Cherlin, A., & Furstenberg, F. (1991). Divided families: What happens to children when parents part. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

Gallagher, M. (1996). The abolition of marriage: how we destroy lasting love, Washington, D.C.: Regnery Publishing, Inc.

Hines, A. (1997). Divorce-related transitions, adolescent development, and the role of the parent- child relationship. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 59 (2), 375-388

Landucci, N. M. (2008). The Impact of divorce on children: What school counselors need to know

Parejko, J. (2002). Stolen vows: the illusion of no-fault divorce and the rise of the american divorce industry, Collierville, TN: InstantPublisher

Parkman,A. (June 1992). Unilateral divorce and the labor-force participation rate of marred women, revisited. The American Economic Review, 82(3), 671-678

Simons, R.L., & Lin, K.H., & Gordon, L.C., & Conger, R.D., & Lorenz, F.O. (1999). Explaining the higher incidence of adjustment problems among children of divorce compared with those in two-parent families. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61, 1020

Wallerstein, J., & Blakeslee, S. (2003). What about the kids?: Raising your children before, during, and after divorce. New York: Hyperion