...(Un)arranged Marriage “(Un)arranged Marriage” is the novel, written by Bali Rai, that deals with the issues of arranged marriages and living in two cultures at the same time. By telling the story of the protagonist Manjit or “Manny”, as he is often called, Rai provides the reader an insight into Indian traditions and some of the conflicts that could arise when a family suffers from lack of tolerance towards other opinions. Manny is born in Britain and lives in Leicester with his very traditional Indian family who has different views from his own. His family wants to force him to follow these traditions and among other things marry at the age of seventeen to a girl of their choice. Manny, not sharing these views at all, becomes very rebellious and starts spending more time outside his home with his best friend Ady, a Jamaican boy that Manny’s father despises because of the fathers racist views. His family live in Britian but still, for example, refuses to speak English or have non-Indian friends. Manny starts smoking, drinking and going out with Lisa, a white girl. As his father does not approve of this lifestyle, these many circumstances creates several conflicts in Manny’s household and the reader follows this young boy as he gets yelled at and even beaten up by his angry father. Still, Manny remains rebellious which leads to his family organizing a trip to India in attempt to make their son become a real Punjabi. While in India, Manny starts to enjoy himself and likes the...
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...Western and none-western relationships in formation, marriage and divorce. In Western societies, individuals are permitted to form their own relationships with little family interference and on the basis of romantic attraction. Men and women also expect to have numerous relationships before they consider marriage with just one person and often may choose to live together and never get married. Due to globalization and the increase in travel, individuals in Western cultures can interact with a larger pool of potential partners. Moghaddam suggests, in non-western and collectivist culture, males are chosen for the females who are often chaperoned in the presence of that male, otherwise they may be seen as un-marriage worthy. As for marriage; Western societies relationships are usually monogamous, a relationship with just one person, with the average marriage age being 27 and gradually rising. Couples are expected to be together for a length of time before deciding to marry. Hsu claims Individualist cultures value freedom and individuality so that a person can still live their own life once married. This explains why the divorce rate is far higher in Western societies, happiness is valued and more forgiveness is given to those who divorce. An anomaly of this is the Catholic religion, predominant in Ireland and South America, where divorce is religiously seen as shameful. In comparison around 1/2 of the world experiences arranged marriages to some degree predominately in Eastern or non-Western...
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...Emerges in Arranged Marriages: Two Cross-cultural Studies by Robert Epstein, Mayuri Pandit, and Mansi Thakar we are told that Americans and perhaps Westerners all-together are becoming more obstinate with the idea that love is a must prior to the life-long commitment known as marriage. There are, however, various cultures outside of the west that are composed of those who think the very opposite notion. For example, a maxim for many in India: “first comes marriage, then comes love”. Speaking of India, this scholarly journal introduced a study that entailed 50 Indian couples and concluded that feelings of love between Indian individuals in love marriages decreased somewhat overtime. But, those within arranged marriages had a more enduring love in the long run. As for how much happiness is actually elicited for the involved in those two different methods of marrying, another study concluded that satisfaction levels in arranged Indian marriages are higher than American love-based marriages. Finally, we are presented with one last study that said Indians who had been through the process of arranged marriage in the U.S. were significantly happier than those who went through the same arranged marriage process in India. Indian-American arranged marriages were also more content than U.S. love marriages. Moving on to a different culture but with similar results as those of Indians matrimonies, a Japanese marriage couples study was also presented. In it, it was reported that arranged Japanese...
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...would you feel if you were promised to be married when you were just 11 months? The issue of forced marriage is a form of human trafficking. The international centre on research on women states that in developing countries 1 in 3 girls are said to be married before 18. Forced marriage is a form of violence against women and girls. It can lead to a range of negative consequences for victims, including physical, sexual, and psychological violence. This is however against Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights stating “Parties take all appropriate measures to eliminate discrimination against women in all matters relating to marriage and family relations.” India has the highest number of child brides in the world. Major factors influencing child marriage are economic considerations and religiously binding laws. The issue of forced marriage is evident in a case in India where a women named Santadevi Meghwal, discovered at the age of 16 that she had been entered into an arranged marriage when she was just 11 months. This case is against Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Article 23 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. This covenant takes appropriate steps to ensure equality of rights and responsibilities of spouses as to marriage. Furthermore the Human Rights Council adopts resolution to end early and forced marriage. However, a statistic from the “Girls not Bride”, has stated that” 41,000 girls per day 28 girls every...
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...Love marriages being accepted Marriages are basically of two types – arranged and those based on mutual attraction between the partners. Arranged marriages were once common throughout the world, but today this institution mostly survives in the eastern countries such as India, China, and most Asian society. Love marriages are the norm in western countries where individual freedom and aspirations are considered more important than what the society, parents or relatives expect from a person. In an ideal arranged marriage scenario, the partners have a major say in arranged marriage. They give the final nod as to the choice of their spouse. However, things do not always go like this. All of a sudden you start your life with a person with you have hardly spend any time. You don’t know the person or you may even not like the person if you have go married because your parents and elders decided your marriage. Most of the cases the girl is forced to sacrifice their likes and adjust to the reality. Some may just live their life it goes believing its their fate and their parents are happy, but some break up. In many arranged marriages, the parents and relatives are often overbearing and try to force their child into a relationship he or she does not agree with. This can be a very difficult situation that may condemn the partners to living lifelong in a marriage that they are not happy with. In an arraigned marriage the blame is mostly on the parents and family members if things...
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...“Arranged or love marrage” Have you ever thought about what kind of marriage you’d like, arrange, and love? Which do you perfect? Here I am going to explain some similarities and differences between two. First, let’s highlight some similarities. A/ the primary one is spouse share love and commitment in both cases. In an arrange marriage, bonds may grow more after the wedding while in a love marriage, the bonds may grow more before but in either cases, there will be a strong connection. A/the second point in common is that both types of unions can provide a stable , secure environment for children. In fact, research shows that how the parents came together is less important than, simply, that they do stay together rather than divorce. Last everybody knows that both in love, and arranged marriages, there will be good , and bad times. Turning to differences, a significant one is that an arranged marriage is more of a contract between families, and society. In contrast , a love marriage tends do focus more on the two parents rather than extended family members. Another noteworthy distinction is that partners in arranged marriages are more likely to be the same nationality, and religion. Their counterparts, however, may well differ in these aspects. Finally, some people would argue that in a love marriage, people know each other better before they tie the knot. Those who are matched up, however, will probably not know each other very well before marriage. ...
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...An arranged marriage is a marriage that is established before involving oneself in a lengthy courtship, and often involves the arrangement of someone other than the persons getting married sometime ,it is to some point a political alliance,a solidification of one’s family political and financial status . These marriages are relatively rare in our western hemisphere, but still numerous in the Middle East and parts of Africa and Asia. While a love marriage is more of a free choice when the unity of two people is strictly, your choice and no one can force you to marry against your will. This is the most common way for marriage which was developed mostly in the western countries such as the US . Depending on the upbringing of the individual, one will come to accept this union as a core foundation upon which you will build a family and within which the true values of our western society will reflect. But notice that this approach is soly a western approach based on the views and teaching of the Christian religion which our eastern counterparts will found for a lack of better term “too liberal”, where we have to chose our partners based on interests ,culture similarities,intellectual,political and social and religious views and or affiliations. Our western society comes to understand that arranged marriage does not have good outcomes and that most of the time the woman fell victim of pressure imposed on her to bore children and force to adhere to the principles and religions of her...
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...When people talk about marriage today, many people automatically think about romantic love and “love at first sight.” However, some marriages are not made based off of love; this is called an arranged marriage. Some people think that the idea is repulsive but they do not take into account some of the benefits that may result from arranged marriages. In society today, many are accustomed to romantic love. However, arranged marriages are still being practiced, especially throughout Hinduism. Given the many cons that can result from this practice, there can still be many positive outcomes such as, lower divorce rates, family approval and most often, financial stability. Divorce rates are lower in arranged marriages as compared to romantic love. This could be due to the idea that it is frowned upon by the families of either spouse due to the dishonor that is said to occur from a divorce, or the idea that after marriage, both people have learned to love one another or cope with each other. For example, romantic love is not always successful because the attraction or awe that once existed in the marriage is no longer there, which leads to unhappiness. “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility” (Leo Nikolaevich). Nikolaevich states that despite the differences that can result from an arranged marriage, there is still a chance to have a happy marriage as long as both spouses are able to focus...
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...From Arranged Marriage to Love Marriage In the United States, where a multitude of cultures and races live together, we are not accustomed to the idea of arranged marriages. We are blessed that we are given our own right to choose our own spouse to marry instead of being arranged upon or have no say in who we get to spend the rest of our lives with. True love has been drilled into our heads, giving us the idea that finding somebody special is nothing out of the ordinary. However there are still those who do not grow up with the same ideas or values in choosing their own loved one. India’s culture has since forever been based off of religion and the honors of family. From those comes an important aspect of the Indian culture that is the idea of an arranged marriage. An arranged marriage is when, usually the parents or father, of both sides of the family meet with potential suitors to be wed to each other without any true saying coming from mainly the woman herself. Basically the man’s family advertises his achievements, wealth, and well being to other families, and if a family seeking for a husband for their daughter agrees or likes these qualities, a meeting is set between the two families. After the one meeting goes well, they set up a wedding date for the two to become married. The bride and groom have not even spent a full day with each other and it is decided that they should become married. The biggest misunderstanding most of us have about arranged marriages is the...
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...difficulty in communicating their feelings to the opposite character. Jhumpa Lahiri is an American Indian, who was born in London and brought up in the United states. Through her stories, in the book ‘Interpreter of Maladies’, she communicates her thoughts about relationship problems faced by couples, parents and american indian children. Some of the characters from the book are engaged in an arranged marriage, whereas the others commit in a love marriage.Couples fitting in both the categories have been facing relationship problems due to different reasons. In the story, ‘interpreter of Maladies’, Communication breaks down repeatedly often with hurtful consequences. Mr Kapasi is engaged in an arrange marriage, whereas Mr and Mrs Das are committed in a love marriage. Mr. Kapasi, who is the interpreter of maladies, has lost his ability to communicate with his wife, forcing him to drink his tea in silence at night and leading to a loveless marriage. Mr and Mrs Das have lost the ability to communicate because Mrs Das has been keeping a dark secret from Mr Das which can kill their marriage. On the other hand, Shukumar in ‘The Temporary Matter’, has not had a proper conversation with his wife, since their child’s death. The...
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...forced marriage custom among an indigenous group in Nepal's western region which violate the human rights. In western Nepal, females do not have any choices in marrying. Kidnapping women as brides in that area is considered as a traditional way of marriage which does not respect women’s wishes or rights, while it is considered as a sign of honor to the males. From the article, refers to the Hofstede’s cultural dimension, Nepal is a country with high masculinity where males dominate a significant portion of the society and power structure. Females in Nepal have a low social position, with females being controlled by male domination. Females do not have their choice in choosing their husbands. After marrying, they have to stay with their husbands, regardless of their willingness. Nepal is also the country with high power distance. There is a strong hierarchy within people both in family and society. Based on the patriarchal family system, father in Nepal is regarded as the leader of the family. They have the power to dominate their family even the marriage of their daughters. People with different social status are also treated unequally in marriage. Depends on the family environment, people who are rich can marry the person they like, while males who are not rich can only get married by stealing girls. Marriage system is the other cross-cultural implication in this article. In Nepal, dating is not customary. People there believe in arranged marriages, and most marriages are arranged...
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...III Introduction “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” –Mignon Mclaughlin The above quotation by Mignon Mclaughlin says that for a marriage to be successful, it requires falling in love many times with the same person we are married to. My topic is about “fixed or arranged marriage” being better than the usual marriage in which both falls in love first before entering into a union or marriage. For us to be able to determine whether or not fixed marriage is successful or not, we should first define what marriage is. Marriage is define as a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Today many people prefer “love first before marriage” than the traditional “fixed or arranged marriages”. No one could tell which of the two types of marriages is better or which of them is likely to be successful, because both sometimes tend to be a success and both sometimes seems to be a failure. This paper would like the readers to understand that, “fixed or arranged marriage” is better than the “love first before marriage” type of marriage by giving some examples from real life stories and by giving...
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...Written assignment 2: Essay - Dusk Over Atlantic Wharf Arranged marriages are traditional in the Indian society and continue to account for the greater part of marriages in India. In the western world are arranged marriages not so widespread, and we do not see it so often. In the short story, ‘’Dusk Over Atlantic Wharf’’, by Susmita Bhattacharya, we hear about an Indian girl, Lata, who is in an arranged marriage. So the question is, can there really be love in an arranged marriage? The story takes plays in Cardiff, which is the capital of Wales. In the beginning we are in Anuj’s and Lata’s apartment. The weather is grey and quite depressing: “The sky loomed large and grey over the chimney tops and television aerials. Lata missed the drama of colours played out in the sky. She observed it has been the same dull grey throughout the day.” (P. 1, L. 11-13). This description of the weather can also be used to tell us about Lata’s emotional state. She is having a tough time, where everything seems dark and grey, and she needs India’s drama of colors played out in the sky. The main character in the text is Lata. Lata is originally from India, but has moved to Cardiff in Wales, because she has been given away to Anuj. She has only been in Cardiff for four months (P. 1, L. 30-31), so she is still struggling to fit into the new surroundings. Now she has to cook, clean and wash, which she normally had hired help for back in India. (P.1, L. 35-37) This also indicates that she did...
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...Arranged or Loved Marriage is an opportunity that everyone is given in life as a human being. Many cultures and societies have their own different prospections of marriage. Such as in most European countries they such as India the women are forced into arranged marriages. The way an arranged marriage is set up is that the mother and father go out finding a boy that they feel would be good for their daughter then tell their daughter they are going to marry this person. Therefore, it’s almost impossible for a women to search a man she might like on her own. Even the men are expected to follow the decision taken by parents who choose you to marry their daughter out of respect no matter how you feel about the girl. On the other hand love marriages are considered more acceptable and common to the modern generation. Love marriages are processed with the two people getting to know each other well, before making a decision to be with each other for life. Love marriages grant the opportunity to choose the partner but the responsibility of choosing the right person is the biggest obstacle in the whole situation. With loved marriages people lend to look for the person that will make them happy, feel loved, someone they can never get tired of and always want to be with, unlike in arranged marriages, where the responsibility of choosing the right person is up to the parents. During an arranged marriage when the two unknown individuals come together, they don't have any expectations...
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...The way in which arranged marriages are handled determines whether or not they are cruel and old-fashioned. I am now going to provide a balanced argument that takes all the different views into consideration. Islam is one religion that uses arranged marriages. Not only are the marriages arranged by the parents but also by older relatives as well. They believe that the parents know all about their children so they are capable of choosing a suitable partner whom may enable the couple to have a successful marriage, all though if either the bride or groom disagrees the wedding cannot go on. The details of the marriage are set out in a contract which is a legal document. Hinduism is another group of people who have arranged marriages but not to the same extent. Hindus believe that a marriage is based on more than physical or emotional attraction and at one stage Hindus were strict about arranged marriages where the parent’s decision was final. Marital incompatibility has been found to be a major reason for divorce. When the parents arrange the marriage they will have found someone who is compatible so that the marriage will work. When the parents pick someone they are drawing from experience typically 20 years of married life and they went through the same process no doubt. There is also a lower divorce rate in arranged marriages. When in a arranged marriage situation there is a lower expectation because neither side knows what to expect of the other person. Both sides imagine...
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