| Why is it so difficult to be understood? | by | | Herman Jacobs | |

Why is it so difficult to be understood?

For this essay we were asked to place imagine ourselves as the main character of a short story and then answer a simple question about her motivation. The challenge is that the main character is a Japanese-American woman living more than 50 years ago. The story “Two Deserts” by Valerie Matsumoto tells of Emiko Oyama, a young mother who lives in California’s Imperial Valley. Emiko is married with one daughter. As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that Emiko was interned during World War Two. This is no doubt one of the two deserts referred to by the story’s title. Emiko also revelas in the story that she has never been to Tokyo, and therefore we assume that she has never been to Japan. Emiko’s relationship with new neighbors is the heart of the story. More to the point Emiko’s relationship with Roy, a retired man who is very pushy, is the story. Emiko suffers Roy and adapts her life to try and discourage him from bothering her, but does not confront him directly. At the end of the story Emiko kills a scorpion and this signals that she has overcome her fears and that Roy won’t bother her any longer. The question is, why doesn’t she confront Roy sooner or in a more direct manner? Can language, culture and gender explain this?
One reason Emiko doesn’t confront Roy directly has to do with linguistics, Robin Lakoff wrote about “Women’s Language and Men’s Language” and detailed how women are more likely to use expressions that soften their opinions rather than the direct or even harsh words that men will use to make their point clear (7). Emiko is very quiet with her opinions and routinely hides her feelings from her words. When she is making paper flowers she is reminded of her time in the internment camp, but only says that she has folded flowers before. She does not go into any more specifics about the circumstances (Matsumoto 75). The “meaningless particle” Lakoff examines on pages 8 and 9 may be missing from Emiko’s words, but this only underscores the softness of her voice. The only time she has passion in her words is when she insists on the use of her Japanese name. Language plays a major role in the way Emiko approaches the situation, but not because she has trouble with English! The fact that Emiko’s ancestry is Japanese does not cause a direct linguistic obstacle, but it does present a cultural one. Similar to this is an aspect of Sakamoto’s “conversational ball games.” In this article Sakamoto describes how Westerners tend to have a more lively back and forth type of conversation, much like a game of tennis (Sakamoto 60). Emiko’s refusal to not expand on where she learned to fold flowers the way she does is much more akin to the way Sakamoto describes Japanese conversations, like that of a bowling game where each person takes turns and the other may or may not add insight (Sakamoto 61).
The second complication is firmly rooted in Emiko’s cultural background. Amy Tan, a Chinese American author, wrote an essay titled “The Language of Discretion”. In this essay she responds to a newspaper article that paints the Chinese people as being overly polite and not willing to be direct for fear of losing face. Tan refutes this, but along the way hints at some ways the stereotypes may be perceived as true. On pages 66 and 67 she is forced to wonder if her upbringing has made her overly polite. Tan is courteous as a telemarketer convinces her to sign up for a timeshare introduction that she has no intention of following through on. Emiko is also caught in a situation where she forces herself to be more polite than she actually feels. On one day, Roy questions why his wife wastes her time gardening. Emiko quietly points out that she herself also enjoys gardening, but does so almost apologetically and then points out that she is not very good at it (Matsumoto 76). The traditional Japanese style of being polite (much like the Chinese) could be seen from an outsider’s perspective as being weak or unresolved. In her essay titled “What’s Behind the Asian Mask?” Alexandra Tantranon-Saur describes her childhood and how she learned how to hold a conversation. The key was the pause and how one reacted to it. Tantranon-Saur notes that if someone reacts to a pause be immediately grabbing this moment of silence, they must not have been listening. Cleary a disrespectful was of acting towards the speaker. (Tantranon-Saur 249). Roy never respects Emiko’s pauses and in this way they are both acting as their cultural backgrounds suggest they would. When Emiko refuses to quietly agree with the nickname of Emily, Roy quickly dismisses her passionate objection by cautioning her to mind her temper and then quickly changes the subject completely ignoring the point and disrespecting Emiko further (Matsumoto 78).
Another reason for Emiko not confronting Roy involves the effects of gender. Rosalie Maggio writes about language and gender in an article aptly titled “Language and Gender”. In this brief article, Maggio asserts that sexist language affects attitudes and shapes perceptions. Emiko is not vexed by sexist language, but does fill the role of a stereotype. She suggests to Roy that maybe he would be happy with a hobby like gardening or becoming active in a group like the Elks (Matsumoto 77). Never does Emiko think about doing more with her own life. No one else suggests that she might feel better or more empowered by continuing her education or seeking a job. In this way she seems to be trapped in the role of a meek housewife who doesn’t even know that she is capable of more. Nilsen suggests that women are sexy while men are successful. Through this essay, Alleen Pace Nilsen lists a great many words and how the ones associated with woman usually are in reference to a provocative body part or in some other way suggestive of sex (Nilsen 9-12). Roy often refers to Emiko in a sexually suggestive way. From winks to calling her “sweetheart” to references to her beauty to an outright comparison to a geisha, clearly Roy is not valuing Emiko as an individual, but rather is an object of sexual desire (Matsumoto 76-77, 79-80).
Linguistics, culture and gender all play a role in Emiko’s failure to stand up to Roy. Emiko is polite, gentle with her words and fearful of offending Roy. Roy is very chauvinistic and forward especially in the way he wants Emiko to accept Emily as a nickname. The story ends after Emiko kills a scorpion and asserts her dominance over the pest. By taking control she shows Roy that she is not the meek girl he assumes her to be. Roy retreats home and we believe that he is no longer a source of fear in Emiko’s life. Racism and sexism exist today, as they have in the past, usually fueled by ignorance. Differences in language, culture or gender only serve to compound the issue. In the case of Emiko and Roy, all three of these factors were involved and it took Emiko’s instinct to protect her daughter from harm to shake Roy from his fantasy that she was a geisha girl available for his enjoyment.