Theresian School of Cavite
Habay, Bacoor, Cavite

In Partial Fulfillment
Of the requirement in
English IV

“The Effects of having Boyfriend/Girlfriend Relationships in the Academic Performance of selected high school students of Theresian School of Cavite”

By:
Altair Marie Acosta
John Daniel Buerano
John Jeric Chan
Trixia Roxanne Dela Cruz
Odyssea Hermes Estrella
Donald Philip Florendo
Alyssa Javier
Karen Louise Miranda
Monique Reyes
Patrick Joshua Villones

March 2008 APPROVAL SHEET

This thesis entitled “The Effects of having Boyfriend/Girlfriend Relationships in the Academic Performance of selected high school students of Theresian School of Cavite” prepared and submitted by, Altair Marie Acosta, John Daniel Buerano, John Jeric Chan, Trixia Roxanne Dela Cruz, Odyssea Hermes Estrella, Donald Florendo, Alyssa Javier, Karen Louise Miranda, Monique Reyes, Patrick Joshua Villones in partial fulfillment of the requirements in English IV is hereby accepted.

_________________________ Ms. Menchie Ibasco English Teacher

_________________________ Mrs. Dorcas A. Darvin Principal

Panelists:

_______________________ _______________________ _______________________ Panelist 1 Panelist 2 Panelist 3

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

The researchers want to thank, first of all our Almighty God whom by all means this book was made. Also, we would like to give our heartfelt gratitude to the following people who had helped us to make this study:

To our teachers for their advices in order for us to make this study.

To our respondents, who answered our questionnaires patiently and honestly as possible. Also, we thank them for their cooperation during the survey process.

To our friends who are always there whenever we need their help.

To our supportive parents who provided us what we needed in order for us to achieve this study. Also, we thank them for their understanding whenever we have long meetings.

This study would not be possible without the people who helped us throughout the study. We would like to thank them for their effort, and also, for their unselfish support to finish this book.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page Approval Sheet Acknowledgement

Chapter I: Introduction Background of the Study Statement of the Problem Significance of the Study Scope & Delimitation Definition of Terms

Chapter II: Conceptual Framework Review of Related Literature

Chapter III: Research Design Sources of Data Procedures Data Gathering Instruments Frequency Distribution Mode

Chapter IV: Graphs & Interpretation

Chapter V: Summary, Conclusion & Recommendation

Appendices Bibliography

CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION

BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY Teenage relationships are widespread. In this condition, they can boost their human interaction with the opposite sex. In some instances, this may help them in their academic performance, especially when they know how to balance their time. However, teenage relationships are much important to other teenagers than their studies. Some teenagers get so caught up that they can't think of anything else, others are able to keep up their grades just as well.

Being a teenager is a troubling time. While adjusting to all the changes going on both in your biology and your responsibilities, making the right decisions can be hard when it comes to topics such as relationships. In this article, we'll offer some statistics regarding teenage relationships so that you can better understand exactly what's in store for the average teenager who is dating.

The Teenage Love Relationship deals with the relationship of love that exists between the teenage groups. In schools the teenagers usually make friends easily and therefore there remains the chance for a young boy/girl to get easily involved in a relationship. The teenagers usually do not consider the various aspects that are associated with the relationship of love and therefore tend to make mistakes regarding the choosing of a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Teenage is that phase of life, when one tries to discover life and makes attempts to unfold the mysteries of life or it could be said that a teenager finds himself/herself trapped in this complex world. A teenager therefore searches for a true friend, with whom he/she can share all his/her troubles or is in need of a friend who would help him/her to cope with the challenges offered by life. Therefore it can be deducted that the root of teen love is friendship and often adulation for friends leads to infatuation. Love is in fact the aspect due to which romance culminates into a relationship. Love is something which can’t be determined or measured by anyone.

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STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

This study aims to determine the Effects of having Boyfriend/Girlfriend Relationship in the Academic performance of selected high school students from Theresian School of Cavite.

1. To determine the profile of the respondents

1. Name

2. Age

3. Year & Section

2. To know the effects behind students having boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

3. To know both positive and ill effects of having relationships on the academic performance of students and their study habits.

4. To determine some possible remedies and solutions for this problem.

SIGNIFANCE OF THE STUDY

This study was made to find out the positive and negative effects of being in a relationship in the academic performance of selected high school students in Theresian School of Cavite. The researchers attempt to discover how boyfriend/girlfriend relationships affect the studies of teenagers. In this study, we will be able to get the positive and negative effects of teenagers being in a relationship.

SCOPE AND DELIMINATION

This study will look into the effects of having boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in the academic performance of selected high school students. This study will further obtain information regarding the outlook of students about the said topic.

This study is limited since only a descriptive survey research will be conducted to selected one hundred high school students of Theresian School of Cavite. We made questionnaires which were administered to the respondents. Data shall be gathered to determine the relationship existing between the dependent and independent variables of the study.

DEFINITION OF TERMS:

1. Gaze – to fix the eyes in a steady and intent look.

2. Adultery – voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married man and someone other than her husband.

3. Lust – pleasure, personal inclination.

4. Hijabs - meaning "to veil, to cover.

5. Modesty – freedom from excess or exaggeration.

6. Vicinity – the quality or state of being near.

7. Flirting – a quick blow.

8. Seductive – tending or having the qualities to seduce.

9. Zina - is extramarital sex in Islam.

10. Fatwa- in the Islamic faith is a religious edict or a ruling on Islamic law issued by an Islamic scholar.

11. Ingrain – to work in the natural texture.

12. Forbid – to command against or contrary to.

13. Smitten – past part of Smite.

14. Severity – quality or state of being severe.

15. Stoning – pres part of Stone.

16. Shaytaan - is an entity analogous to Satan.

17. Bestow – to put to use.

18. Restrain – to hold back from some action, procedure or course.

19. Defiance – renunciation of allegiance or friendship.

20. Insecurity – the quality or state of being insecure.

21. Underlying – living under or beneath.

22. Tolerate – to endure or resist the action of without grave or lasting injury.

23. Chastity – the quality or state of being chaste.

24. Piety- the quality or state of being pious.

25. Ironical- of or relating to irony, containing, expressing or constituting irony.

26. Complacent- marked by sometimes unwarranted, uncritical and irritating satisfaction and pleasure at one’s own personality.

27. Hypocritical – of or relating to a hypocrite or hypocrisy.

28. Propel – to drive away, drive out.

CHAPTER II
CONCEPTUAL FRAMEWORK

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

THE GIRLFRIEND-BOYFRIEND RELATIONSHIP
"In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not."
PART 1 - Preventing the Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship
Zina (fornication) has become a common place occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how such a situation can occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under 'lock and key'. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of "no boyfriend" when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?
The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.
In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahatma (non-Mahatma is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.
At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or 'an affair'. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, and sexual diseases - the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community." [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim]. But what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished - he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: the Prophet (s.a.w) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].
At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad] and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.
Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon:
Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgement) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah. [Bukhari and Muslim].
Below are more points on how to help your child, at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older; you make sure that it is put into practice.
You must teach him or her to:
1. Not to freely mix with the opposite sex.
2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second." [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust. [Bukhari]
3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahatma. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) "...do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you..." [33:32]
4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to them. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with T-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.
5. It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (s.a.w) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.a) reported that the Prophet (s.a.w) was more shy than a virgin in her own room. [Bukhari] If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha' Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship'.
PART 2 - How to deal with a Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship?
In the last article the author talked about taking preventative measures to ensure that when your child is older, he or she will not be caught in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. However, if your child is already a teenager or those methods did not work, and you are now facing this dilemma, there is still hope of rectifying it. Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel.
The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend.
What led to this?
There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at, is the girl's raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.
Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl's behavior?
Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a "geek".
Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends. Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy. Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.
Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it, therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere. Whereas the latter demands it from her parents. There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.
How to approach them?
When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative ("You did this to...") and judgmental ("You are so..."), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation ("Why did you...?"). This only adds to their daughter's defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using "should", "don't" and all other negative words. Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it ("Do you mean...?"), acknowledge it ("You feel... because...") and empathize with it ("You sound really..."). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.
Insecurity
Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her "bad" behaviors, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviors and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter.
Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).
Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam's position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, mother of Prophet Eesa (a.s), is one great example.
Don't forget about the boys
Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worse position, the same parents are complacent,. feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.
Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.

CHAPTER III
RESEARCH DESIGN

SOURCES OF DATA

This thesis will not be complete without collecting information such as surveys and researches. Our group decided to conduct a survey for the high school department and almost all of them participated well and gave enough time to read, understand and answer the questionnaires patiently and honestly.

Those answers we have gathered made way for us to know the answer to our problem. The survey sheets we have made helped a lot. But still, we conducted researches through the internet and library for more data that will support our study.

PROCEDURE

First of all, we are assigned to make a research about the topic and compiled them. We made questionnaires for our survey and gave it to one hundred (100) selected highs cool students of Theresian School of Cavite. After gathering all the information we needed, we did the structural presentation. The next thing we did is to have everything printed to provide a copy for each of the panelist. And lastly, we studied and reviewed everything for the benefit of having our thesis successfully planned.

DATA GATHERING

Everyone in the group was assigned a task to do. We shared ideas and researched information on some references having topics that is related to our study. All the members of the group cooperated well. One of the most important parts in the completion of our thesis is the gathering of information from different individuals. We conducted a survey to help us gain more information we need to complete this study. It was successfully done because our questionnaires were answered with full comprehension.

STATISTICAL TREATMENT OF DATA

To get the average answer of the subject respondents, we have used the formula below to get the right answer:

% = Frequency x 100
Total # of Respondents

CHAPTER IV
GRAPHS AND INTERPRETATION

Fig.1

The graph shows the age of the students we surveyed. Out of 100 students we surveyed, 49% belongs to the age class of 14-15 years old. The age class which got the 2nd highest, with 26%, belongs to those who are 12-13 years of age. And lastly, the age class who got the lowest percentage of 25% is the age class of 16-17 years old.

Fig. 2

The graph shows that out of 100 students we have surveyed, 64% are in a relationship and 36% are not in a relationship.

Fig. 3

The graph shows that out of 100 selected students he have surveyed, 75% of them have been in a relationship and the remaining 25% have not experienced being in a relationship.

Fig. 4

The graph shows the age of the students when they first experienced being in a relationship. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, the highest is the age class of 12-14 yrs old. Next to the highest, with 24%, belong to the group who has never been in a relationship. The age class of 15-17 yrs old got 14% and the lowest is the age class of 9-11 yrs old with 12%.

[pic]
Fig. 5

This graph shows how many times they (our respondents) have been in a relationship. The highest percentage with 44% belongs to those who have been in a relationship 1-3 times. Next, with 24%, have not experienced being in a relationship. 20% goes to those who have been in a relationship for 4-6 times, followed by 10% to those who have been in a relationship 10 times and above. Lastly, the remaining 2% goes to those who have been in a relationship 7-9 times.

Fig. 6 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 53% AGREES that being in a relationship helps them in their academic performance. 22% DISAGREES to the statement given and 17 % STRONGLY AGREES that being in a relationship helps them in their academic performance. The remaining 8% says that they STRONGLY DISAGREE that being in a relationship helps them in their studies.

Fig. 7 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 31% AGREES that their parents allow them to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Another 31% STRONGLY DISAGREES to the statement given and 21 % DISAGREES that they are allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends. The remaining 17% says that they STRONGLY AGREE that their parents allow them to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Fig. 8 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 47% STRONGLY DISAGREES and 44% DISAGREES that those who are not in a relationship are old-fashioned. 7% AGREES that those who are not in a relationship are old-fashioned and the remaining 2% STRONGLY AGREES to the given statement.

Fig. 9 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 43% DISAGREES and 26% STRONGLY DISAGREES that being in a relationship makes them cool. 23% AGREES that being in a relationship makes them cool and the remaining 8% STRONGLY AGREES to the given statement.

Fig. 10 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 46% AGREES and 28% STRONGLY AGREES that they tell their parents when they are in a relationship. 15% STRONGLY DISAGREES that they tell their parents if they are engaged in a relationship 11% DISAGREES to the given statement.

Fig. 11 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 44% AGREES that their friends are the first to know if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. 35% STRONGLY AGREES to the statement given and 18% DISAGREES that their friends are the first to know when they are in a relationship. The remaining 3% says that they STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given.

Fig. 12 This graph shows if our respondents STRONGLY AGREE, AGREE, DISAGREE, or STRONGLY DISAGREE to the statement given. Out of 100 students we have surveyed, 44% STRONGLY DISAGREES to the statement that they do not tell anyone whenever they are in a relationship. 42% DISAGREES to the statement given and 10 % AGREES that they do not tell anyone when they’re in a relationship. The remaining 4% says that they STRONGLY AGREE to the statement given.

CHAPTER V
SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATION

SUMMARY

Teenage Relationship affects many students. Some students think that whenever they are in a relationship they think that they are in love but in fact it is sometimes lust or infatuation. Teens struggle with this. This may sometimes affect the academic performance of the student by focusing too much on their relationship rather than their studies. They easily get distracted and sometimes prioritize their relationship than their studies. But still, other students who are in a relationship tend to improve their studies and gets motivated to study hard. In fact, according to our survey, some of them answered that being in a relationship serves as their inspiration to improve their academic performance in school. They do not get easily distracted because they know their responsibilities.

This study explores the issue of the positive and negative effects of teenage relationships to their performance in school.

CONCLUSION

After all the researches and surveys we have made, we have come to complete the study about the effects of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in the academic performance of the students.

According to our survey, some teenagers are affected by being motivated to study and improve their performance in school. Others get easily distracted due to their relationship. Therefore, teenage relationships may bring good and ill effects to the students. It is up to the students on how to balance love and studies. They should always know their responsibilities as a student.

Engaging in a teenage relationship has many effects to the students. We all know that as a student, our top priority is our studies. Second string priorities should be set aside.

RECOMMENDATION This study is highly recommended for all people, especially the teenagers and the teachers as well. This could give more information and knowledge about teenagers’ awareness of the positive and negative effects of being in a relationship to their academic performance. Furthermore, this could help them understand that teenagers in a relationship should know how to balance their time. They should be responsible enough to handle this situation.