A Short Guide to Effective Public Speaking by Stephen D Boyd, PhD, CSP
Delivering an effective presentation to 20 or to 200 people is difficult. Because listeners have better access to information since the internet became commonplace, audiences expect more content from speakers today. In addition, because of the entertainment slant of most media today, audiences want a presentation delivered with animation, humor, and pizzazz.
If you would rather spend your time preparing your content than reading a book on public speaking, this is an article especially for you!
From my experiences in delivering over l500 speeches during the past 20 years, here is a quick guide to giving an effective and interesting presentation your very first time.
Begin with something to get the attention of the audience
This might be a startling statement, statistic, or your own story. Listeners pay close attention when a person begins with, “Two weeks ago as I was driving to work a car pulled out in front of me….” You could begin with a current event: “You might have read in the paper this morning about the flood that….”
A question is another way to make people listen. “How many of you feel our society spends too much on medical care?” might be a way to begin a presentation about curbing costs. Whatever technique you use, when you grab the attention of the audience you are on your way to a successful speech.
Second, be energetic in delivery
Speak with variety in your voice. Slow down for a dramatic point and speed up to show excitement. Pause occasionally for effect. Don’t just stand behind the lectern, but move a step away to make a point. When you are encouraging your audience, take a step toward them.
Gesture to show how big or wide or tall or small an object is that you are describing. Demonstrate how something works or looks or moves as you tell about it. Show facial expression as you speak. Smile when talking about something pleasant and let your face show other emotions as you tell about an event or activity. Whatever your movements, they should have purpose.
Structure your speech
Don’t have more than two or three main points, and preview in the beginning what those points will be.
With each point, have two or three pieces of support, such as examples, definitions, testimony, or statistics. Visual aids are important when you want your audience to understand a process or concept or understand a financial goal. Line graphs are best for trends. Bar graphs are best for comparisons and pie graphs are best for showing distribution of percentages.
Tie your points together with transitions. These could be signposts such as “First,” “Second,” or "Finally." Use an internal summary by simply including the point you just made and telling what you plan to talk about next. “Now that we have talked about structure, let’s move on to the use of stories,” would be an example.
When you have an introduction, two or three main points with support for each, appropriate transitions, and a conclusion, you will have your speech organized in a way that the audience can follow you easily.
Tell your own story somewhere in the presentation
This applies especially in a technical presentation. Include a personal experience that connects to your speech content, and the audience will connect with you. You want to help the audience link emotionally with what you are talking about, and the personal experience does that.
With almost any topic you might choose, you have at least one “war story” to relate to the topic. When you tell the story, simply start at the beginning and move chronologically through the narrative, including answers to the “W” questions: “Who,” What, “When,” "Why," and “Where.”
To add interest and understanding to your speech, include a visual aid. A visual aid could be an object, a flip chart, aPowerPoint presentation, overhead projector slides, or a dry erase board. Whatever visual you are using, make sure everyone can see it. The best way to insure this is to put the visual where you will be speaking, and then find the seat farthest from it and determine if you can read the visual from that seat.
Introduce the visual properly rather than simply throwing it at your audience; explain what the visual will do before you unveil it. Don’t allow the visual to become a silent demonstration.
Keep talking as you show the visual. You are still the main event and your visual is an aid. Look at your audience, not your visual. When the visual is not in use, hide it from the audience. Humans are a curious lot, tending to keep looking at the object and losing track of the speaker—you!
If you are delivering a persuasive speech, in addition to your own stories include testimony of experts whom the audience respects and whose views reinforce your points. Add a key statistic when possible to show the seriousness of what you are discussing. For example, if I were discussing the need for improved listening to better serve your customers, I might add that although we spend half of our communication time in listening, our listening efficiency is only about 25%. By using stories, testimony, and statistics in your persuasive talk, you add depth to your evidence.
Look at the audience as you speak
If it is a small audience, you can look at each person in a short period of time. If it is a large audience, look at the audience in small “clumps” and move from one clump to another.
One way to insure good eye contact is to look at your audience before you start to speak. Go to the lectern and pause, smile, look at the audience, and then speak. This will help you maintain good eye contact throughout your presentation as well as commanding immediate attention.
One of the ways to have consistently good eye contact is not to read your speech. Use note cards that have key words on them. The word or phrase should trigger the thought in your mind and then you can speak it. If you are including a quotation or complex statistics, reading from your note card actually lends credibility. If you write out your speech you will tend to read it and lose eye contact with the audience, as well as not being as enthusiastic in delivery as when you speak from note cards.
Structure your speech
Include a “wow” factor in your speech. Something in your speech should make your audience think, “Wow!” It could be a story, a dramatic point, an unusual statistic, or an effective visual that helps the audience understand immediately.
With a “wow” factor, you then have something to look forward to in the speech that you know will have an impact on your audience. You’ll become a more enthusiastic speaker because the “wow” factor will get you as well as your audience pumped for the speech.
Consider using a touch of humor in your speech
Don’t panic at this suggestion; you are not becoming a comedian but rather lightening up a serious speech so that people will be more accepting and interested in your ideas. Humor will help you to be perceived as an amiable person, and it is hard for people to disagree or be bored if they are smiling at you.
Until you have lots of experience, keep your humor short. Perhaps inject a one-liner or a quotation. Yogi Berra said a lot of funny things. “You can observe a lot just by watching” for example. Tell a short embarrassing moment in your life that you might have thought not funny at the time. Now that you can laugh at the experience, you understand the old adage, “Humor is simply tragedy separated by time and space.”
Don’t poke fun at your audience; you should be the object of any shortcoming, showing that you can laugh at yourself. Avoid long stories or jokes. Even seasoned speakers know that funny stories soon become unfunny if they go on too long. Probably the least risky use of humor is a cartoon. The cartoon is separate from you and if people don’t laugh, you don’t feel responsible. (Be sure to secure permission to use it.)
Finally, leave the audience with something to think about
People remember best what you say last. You might summarize your main points, or you might complete the statement, “What I want you to do as a result of this presentation is....” But beyond that, make your last words a thought to ponder. For example, I might end a speech on becoming a better speaker with “As Cicero said centuries ago, 'The skill to do comes with the doing.'”
A more modern guide to effective public speaking was penned by some unknown sage: "Know your stuff. Know whom you are stuffing. Know when they are stuffed."
One never becomes a “perfect” speaker; developing public speaking skills is a life-long experience. But the points discussed here will get you started in becoming the speaker you want to be and the speaker your audience wants to hear.

Should You Memorize Your Speech? by John Kinde
To memorize or not. That is the question. Some speakers insist on scripting every speech and delivering it the same, word-for-word, every time it's delivered. Many script their specific gestures and movement. In fact, many excellent coaches suggest doing exactly that; put the speech on paper and memorize it. Other speakers prefer to be totally in the moment. They look for inspiration to move them in their selection of words and physical movement choices. They would never consider totally memorizing a scripted speech.
I advocate something in the middle. I feel both approaches have their strengths and both approaches can, and should be, woven into every speech you give.
The real future of speaking, and the direction in which the very best speakers are moving, is a natural and connected style of delivery. Yet to be at the top of your game on the platform, this "natural" delivery is actually a result of planning, training, coaching and practice.
It's like my tip for being spontaneous on the platform...you prepare to be spontaneous! You won't arrive at a powerful, connected style just by winging it.
Unfortunately, memorization can work against a good connected style.
The result, when most people memorize a speech, is a speaker stepping on the platform and switching on the autopilot. It's like they push a button and a robotic speaker begins to recite the memorized speech.
The speech is accentuated with the precise gestures of an automaton. The speech is delivered in the exact same manner that it would be if the room had no audience. Memorization sets landmines in a speech...you become a slave to the text |
Memorization also sets landmines in a speech. A memorized speech usually sets the expectation that it will be delivered exactly the same way each time. Miss a word or phrase and it trips you up.
And heaven forbid that you should omit a major point! You become a slave to the text. That's why it's often associated with robotic delivery. The speaker is more tuned into the script that he or she is tuned into the audience.
I'm really not against memorization. In fact most of a typical speech I deliver is memorized. What I don't do is write out the speech word for word. Not on paper anyway. In a sense I write it out "in my head" and I put it on tape and play it back.
I put in considerable time memorizing, I just don't write a manuscript. I'm going to be speaking out-of-my head, that's where I want the memory work engraved. I'm not going to be reading the speech.
Certain parts of the speech should be more precisely memorized. You try to deliver the memorized parts exactly the same each time, but don't freeze if you deviate a bit. You don't want to be a prisoner of a script.
The areas that should be memorized are:
- Your opening. It sets the stage and should be well word-smithed and rehearsed. One of the reasons there are many fans of memorization is that there is only one best way of saying something. And you need to spend time determining what that best phrasing is and memorize it as best you can.
- Your humor, especially the punchline. The setup is very important; the punchline is critical. Mess up the words and you may kill the laughs.
- Your transitions. This is an area where I spend most of my rehearsal time. Great transitions are critical to the flow and organization of your talk. They help provide the roadmap which will tie the entire talk together for your listeners.
- Your idea outline. You should have your key-point outline memorized to the point where you can recite it, item for item, just as if you were reading it from a note card. This is the only thing I actually write on paper.
- Your closing. Your call to action is probably the most important part of the talk. It should be precisely crafted for maximum impact.
So it sounds like I'm recommending memorizing almost the entire talk? Well, not exactly. I'm going to be speaking out-of-my head; that's where I want the memory work engraved. |
In one of my one-hour talks I consider 75% of it NOT memorized. These are the vignettes, the stories, the points I tell to carry my message to the audience. These important parts of the talk are delivered in nearly the same words and gestures every time. But these segments of my talk have never been scripted or put on paper. I write these key segments only in my mind. And they are slightly different each time I give them.
I try to be in the moment, connected with the audience, and at the same time relive the experience of the story as I tell it. If my vignettes were totally written and memorized, I wouldn't be present...I'd be in the script and not in the room.
When I rehearse before a presentation, I mentally review my idea outline several times, committing the precise flow of my talk to memory. I practice my opening and my closing. I review my humor to make sure the punchlines are fresh in my memory. And I actually practice my transitions which will move me from one vignette to another, word for word.
I rarely rehearse out loud. Ninety-five percent of my rehearsals are mental and use visualization. I occasionally rehearse contest speeches out loud to get a good feel for timing.
My vignettes, I don't practice. I know them. They're my stories. I've lived them. Although that's not complete accurate. I practiced them when I originally developed them. And now the only time I practice the vignettes is when I actually deliver them before a live audience.
Being in the moment, delivering the vignettes gives a freshness to them and frequently I find a new, fun or memorable way of expressing a thought. I capture new lines in my post-speech critique. Normally I present my key vignettes frequently enough that this works for me. If I do bring out a vignette which I haven't presented for quite some time, I do rehearse it to refresh my memory.
OK, so I do memorize almost my entire talk. I just don't write it down. Certain parts of the talk I refresh my memorization before taking the platform. The rest of the talk segments, although set to memory in the original development phase, are presented in a more extemporaneous fashion.
I let the movement and gestures come organically from the content and the connection with the audience. And I drive my audience connection with conversational eye contact.
A couple of quick tips on rehearsal and memorization. When you practice your speech...practice making mistakes. If you stumble over a word in your opening, don't just start over. Work through it. Practice recovering from your mistakes. That's what you'll have to do on the platform. For some ideas on memory techniques, get a copy of The Memory Book by Harry Lorayne. It's a classic.
Memorize or not? Yes and no. My speeches are mostly memorized...they're just not written on paper. And although I want to use the ideal words, I don't handcuff myself to any specific words. If it doesn't come out exactly as I planned it, I don't get stressed.
Experiment to see what fits your style. And select a balance which is right for you and which does not get between you, your audience and your message

10 Worst Tips To Give SomeoneWho Has To Speak In Public
Making a speech or preparing a presentation for the first time? Well-intentioned but misguided "experts" are quick to offer "advice" that may ruin your chances of success. Careful study of this revealing article will keep you on track. by Alan Matthews
1. Learn the speech by heart or read it from a script.
This is meant to be a way of making sure you don't forget what you're going to say. Instead, it's usually a way of making sure you don't connect with your audience.
Most people who use a script end up reading it out and, unless you're a professional actor or a very experienced speaker, this will come across as unnatural and stilted and it will stop you looking at your audience.
If you try to memorise a script, you may find you are under even more pressure to remember what you want to say because, if you go off the script, there's no way back.
It's better to prepare some notes which can be a guide should you need one. By the time you've prepared the speech, you will know the main areas you want to cover.
Put these down as headings on paper or cards in LARGE PRINT so you can see them when you're standing up. You may then only need a couple of key words to add to these to remind you of the main points you want to make in each area.
If you need more than this, you may be trying to cover too much information. You may also think of a couple of really good ways of saying something, or a good story to use to illustrate a point. Jot these down so you don't forget.
2. Rehearse in front of a mirror.
This may be a bit controversial because I know several books and trainers give this tip. All I can say is I have never found I could do this.
I do rehearse ( sometimes ) and sometimes I tape myself to hear what it sounds like. But I can't watch myself in a mirror and think about what I'm saying - it's just too distracting.
If you want to see what you look like, ask someone to watch you or use a video camera. However, don't get bogged down with worrying about how you look.
The main purpose of rehearsing is to reinforce the talk in your memory, check how long it takes and help you spot those areas where what you want to say doesn't sound right or where you might get confused.
Then you can think of some effective phrases to use to help get your point across. You can do this without a mirror.
3. Use plenty of slides.
This is sometimes offered as a "tip" for taking attention from yourself. Give the audience something else to look at! Another tip is to give them a hefty handout at the start so they have something to read.
The problem is - YOU should be the centre of attention!
People want to hear what you've got to say and the best way to communicate your message is by speaking effectively. By all means use visual aids if they will help but they should complement what you're saying, not just reproduce your own notes.
Similarly with handouts, they can be very helpful but you need to know why you are using them.
If they have backup information, give them out at the end. If they contain some key ideas you want to refer to as you go along, give them out at the start, but make sure they don't distract people from what you are saying.
Let's be honest - if you're that concerned about getting out of the spotlight, you shouldn't be doing this in the first place.
4. Wear a cartoon tie to show you have a sense of humour.
This is linked to a couple of the other ' tips ' which are meant to give you a helping hand in getting the audience on your side. Wearing a funny tie is saying "Look, I'm really a nice guy. Give me a chance."
I won't go into detail here for fear of alienating all of you who might, even now, be wearing such attire, but I have to say, that's NOT what most people think when they see someone wearing a cartoon tie.
In terms of dress, wear something you feel comfortable in and which seems appropriate. That's a bit vague, but it depends on your audience.
The usual approach is to dress slightly smarter than you expect the audience to dress. Too much of a difference between you and them can cause problems with credibility.
Just think about the impression you want to give and, in general, avoid anything which could be a distraction.
Incidentally, I really don't know what the female equivalent of the cartoon tie would be. Any suggestions?
5. Start off with a joke.
This is a bit like the previous ' tip '. Break the ice, show what a good sense of humour you have, get them on your side.
Please don't do this. Not unless you're a good joke - teller and this joke is absolutely guaranteed to get a laugh. And, even then, only if it's appropriate in some way.
One of the best ways to kill your chances from the start is to begin w ith a joke which has nothing to do with your subject and watch it flop.
Believe me, you'll wish you were somewhere else and your audience will too.
Use humour if you can. It will help get your message across and it will get the audience on your side, but be careful with it.
You can use stories, things that have happened to you or to other people that relate to your talk. Being a bit self - deprecating can be a good way to gain an audience's trust but don't overdo it.
If in doubt, leave it out.
6. Tell them you're nervous to get them on your side.
Like some of the others, this is a plea for support to the audience. You know most people hate the idea of speaking in public, so you appeal to their sympathy by telling them how bad you feel.
Another approach is to apologise - " I don't know why I was asked to do this. I've never done this sort of thing before."
This NEVER works.
One thing you can generally be sure of is that, at the start of a talk, your audience will want you to succeed. You should remember this when you feel nervous. They will give you a chance to do well and they will mainly be prepared to listen ( and they will probably be really glad it's not them doing it )
But they are also expecting something in return for the time they are giving up.
If you start suggesting that, in some way, this is going to be a lousy speech, they'll believe you. And they'll switch off. You will have lost any sympathy they had.
To get over your nerves at the start, have a clear and positive opening worked out.
This is one part of the speech you can memorise to get you through the first few moments. Just tell them who you are, what you are talking about and what they will gain from listening. Then get on with it.
7. Stand still and don't move your hands about.
A lot of people who are inexperienced at public speaking try their utmost to stop themselves moving about.
They seem to have some fear that their bodies will go out of control and they'll do something totally ridiculous or embarrassing. So they try to keep absolutely still, often by holding onto a lectern like the survivor of a shipwreck clinging to a piece of driftwood on the ocean.
The best way to make contact with an audience and to keep their attention is to behave as if you are speaking to them in a normal conversation. So you move about, you use gestures, you look at them. When speakers try to stopthemselves doing these things, they become unnatural, distant from the audience.
So don't get too hung up about any mannerisms you think you may have. It's usually better to look natural than to try to deliver a talk as though from a straightjacket.
Just avoid some obvious distractions, like playing with something in your hands, pushing your hands in your pockets and juggling your change (a male thing), shifting back and forth on one leg. But, if what you are saying is interesting, people will listen.
8. Stare over the heads of the audience.
This is a way of pretending to establish eye contact without really doing so, because some people feel awkward about it. They don't really want to look at the audience. The idea is that, if you look out over their heads, they will think you are looking at them.
Actually, they won't. They'll think " Why is this person looking over my head? "
To my mind, the key factor in gaining an audience's attention and keeping it ( apart from the fascinating content of your talk ) is eye contact.
If you were talking to someone who never looked at you, what would you think? Chances are you'd think " This person isn't interested in me. He's not listening. " Or, if the person was speaking but not looking at you, you may think they were a bit shifty, perhaps dishonest.
In any event, you wouldn't find it a pleasant experience.
The same goes for speaking in public. If I am in an audience and the speaker doesn't look at me, I can't feel that person is interested in me or whether I am listening. So I stop listening.
On the other hand, if the speaker makes a point of keeping eye contact with me, it gives me the feeling that he cares about making some connection with me and I'll feel less inclined to switch off.
So look at them while you speak, keep your eyes moving around the room so you engage everyone there. If it's a very big audience, you can look at a section at a time but, with a small audience, you will need to look at individuals. Not for too long, but glance at everyone as you speak so no-one feels left out.
9. Imagine the audience naked.
This is supposed to be another way to deal with nerves. I have actually seen it in guides to presentations.
The best answer to this is one I found in the book Successful Presentations for Dummies by Malcolm Kushner (IDG Books). He says there is probably half the audience who you wouldn't mind seeing naked. The other half you certainly would never want to see naked. Either way, it's not a calming thought.
Another ' tip ' I have come across is to pretend the audience isn't there. This probably works in a way because I can guarantee, if you pretend the audience isn't there, pretty soon it won't be!
I mentioned eye contact above. You can't just ignore the people out there and expect your talk to have any impact. There are lots of ways to tackle nerves but they come under three categories: Preparation: think through what could go wrong and prepare for it, know your subject and be clear about why you are giving the talk. Also keep things in perspective - what's the worst that can happen? You're not performing brain surgery. Relaxation or deep breathing exercises. Positive self: visualise the talk going really well, tell yourself it will be a success, know that you have prepared and that you can do this, and stop yourself when you start to think it will all be a disaster.
Above all, remember that everyone gets nervous when they have to speak in public. If you don't feel nervous, you should ask someone to check your pulse.
The nerves themselves are not the problem. You can carry on and give a great talk even though you feel nervous at the start.
10. Have a drink beforehand to calm your nerves.
No, no, no! Alcohol and nerves are a lethal combination. Have you ever sat through a Best Man's speech at a wedding? Then you'll know what I mean. Don't do it.
Incidentally, if you want to have a glass of water at hand in case your mouth gets dry - use still not sparkling. Belching into a microphone is not to be recommended.

There you are - the top 10 things to avoid when speaking in public. Keep away from these, follow my simple rules, and you won't go far wrong.
Good luck

What Your Actions Say About You
That first minute is critical in any encounter. Various body signals speak for you long before you open your mouth. Learn to use such potential personal assets as as your body posture, your handshake, eye contact and your special smile, to your full advantage. by Lillian D. Bjorseth
You need to know how to act when you get to a conference, after-hours event, meeting or trade show to make the most effective and efficient use of your time … and to attract those people whom you want to do with business with and add to your network.
The success of any encounter begins the moment someone lays eyes on you. One of the first things they notice about you is your aura, that distinctive atmosphere that surrounds you.
You create it, and you are responsible for what it says about you and whom it attracts. Your aura enters with you and starts speaking long before your open your mouth.
Since body language conveys more than half of any message in any face-to-face encounter, how you act is vital to your aura.
Posture
One of the first key things people notice is how you carry and present yourself. Do you walk and stand with confidence like your mother taught you? Stomach in Chest out Shoulders back
Head up
-Or do you slouch, perhaps with your shoulders drooping, your head forward and your stomach protruding? Are you saying to people that you are not sure of yourself, are not poised and, therefore, not the one they should seek out and get to know? You may be turning people away without even being aware of it.
Command respect by standing tall and claiming the space to which you are entitled. Plant your feet about six to eight inches apart with one slightly in front of the others. My workshop attendees always remark about how this positioning makes them feel “grounded,” “rooted” and “balanced” … great ways to start any encounter!
You also tell people through your posture if you are want others to approach you. For instance, if you are talking with one other person and the two of you are forming a rectangle, you will give the message that you have “closed off” your space and don’t want to be interrupted.
If you doubt me, stand by two people who are in the rectangular position and see how long you go unacknowledged. The two will see you out of their peripheral vision, but won’t include you until they have finished their “private” conversation.
If, on the other hand, the two of you stand with your feet pointed outward like two sides of an incomplete triangle, you will be inviting others into the conversation. You can make that all-important eye contact.
Handshakes
Another vital component you need to bring to any interpersonal encounter is a firm handshake. Again, those few seconds you “shake” can empower or weaken a relationship.
Men’s handshakes are typically strong and firm because they naturally have a stronger grip. Women, get a grip and be noticed!
I once got a client because the man I shook hands with remarked about my strong handshake and asked what I did. He decided it was time to hire me to teach his people how to shake hands, too!
Being familiar with the following handshakes will help you immensely in your relationship-building activities:
Controller.A person extends his hand to you, web-to-web, and as soon as your hands are linked, he purposely maneuvers his hand onto the top. He’s telling you he wants to be in charge. Keep that in mind as the interaction continues.
Sandwich.Use this one only with people you know. When you envelop another person’s hands, you are invading their private space … where you are to be only when invited.
Society promotes the standard handshake but is not as tolerant of using both hands. By the way, this handshake is also known as the politician’s handshake … which may be cause enough for most people to avoid it!
Dead fish.Imagine rubbing a scaly, dead fish in your hands … and you got the picture. Your hands typically are wet for two reasons: You are nervous or you have been holding a cold beverage in your right hand and move it to your left just before you shake hands. In either case, it is extremely unpleasant for the receiver.
If you experience anxiety, wipe your hands on a napkin, the tablecloth or even lightly on your clothes. What you spend at the dry cleaners will be paid for quickly by the better impression you make. As for the beverage, use common sense.
Limp fingers.Women, far more than men, extend their fingers rather than their entire hand. It can be painful for the extender, when she is greeted by a man who shakes with his forceful grip.
Men tell me this frequently leads to their giving women a lighter handshake. Professional women respond that they want to be treated equally. One of the ways to combat this syndrome is to always extend you full hand (never cup it) horizontally, even if your grip is light.
Ingredients of a good handshake Hold the person’s hand firmly. Shake web-to-web, three times maximum. Maintain constant eye contact. Radiate positive aura.
Eye Contact
Make it and keep it! Not only does focused eye contact display confidence on your part, it also helps you understand what the other person is really saying verbally.
When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another,a practiced man relies on the language of the first.--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Looking someone in the eye as you meet and talk with him/her also shows you are paying attention. Listening is the most important human relations skill, and good eye contact plays a large part in conveying our interest in others.
When to look.Begin as soon as you engage someone in a conversation. However, you may wish to start even earlier if you are trying to get someone’s attention. Continue it throughout the conversation.
Be sure to maintain direct eye contact as you are saying “good-bye.” It will help leave a positive, powerful lasting impression.
Where to look.Imagine an inverted triangle in your face with the base of it just above your eyes. The other two sides descend from it and come to a point between your nose and your lips. That’s the suggested area to “look at” during business conversations.
Socially, the point of the triangle drops to include the chin and neck areas. When people look you “up and down,” it’sprobably more than business or a casual social situation they have in mind!
How long to look.I suggest about 80 – 90 percent of the time. Less than that can be interpreted as discomfort, evasiveness, lack of confidence or boredom. When you stare longer, it can be construed as being too direct, dominant or forceful and make the other person uncomfortable.
It’s okay to glance down occasionally as long as your gaze returns quickly to the other person. Avoid looking over the other person’s shoulders as if you were seeking out someone more interesting to talk with.
Smiles
Smiles are an important facial expression. They show interest, excitement, empathy, concern; they create an upbeat, positive environment.
Smiles can, however, be overused. Often, men smile when they are pleased; women smile to please. You know which is the most powerful!
To gain and increase respect, first establish your presence in a room, then smile. It is far more professional than to enter a room giggling or “all smiles.”
As you review and tweak your body language for your next interpersonal encounter, I suggest you keep in mind another Emerson saying:
“What you are stands over you the while and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.”