Adolescent
Nick Mathis
BSHS361
January 5, 2012
Marty Mendenhall, Ph.D

Adolescent
“In youth we learn; in age we understand.” This quote from Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach is obviously derived from the stance of a wise adult past the impetuous years of youth. One might argue that our mental development seems quite backward when relating it to teenage perceptions, if viewed in hindsight as an adult armed with knowledge gleaned from the ever-patient teachings of experience. It seemed like the less I knew as a callow youth, the smarter I thought I was. In contrast, as the years have passed and the more I actually have learned, the more convinced I am of how little I know. Along these same lines of thought, it would seem to many, when dealing with teenagers as an adult, they listen the least when it would benefit them the most; and in turn, talk the most when it benefits them the least. Each generation of teenagers seems to feel its generation is unique, and even superior, in its experiences and perceptions. Especially in this age of incredible technology, on many levels this may be true. However, on a developmental level, wisdom can only be acquired through the rigors of experience and time. This paper will detail an interview I had with one such teenager, a sixteen-year-old male named Dylan. This interview’s focus was to garner some thoughts, perceptions, and feelings about some of his experiences, both past and present, as well as some insight into his future. I will supplement Dylan’s relayed information from this interview with some comparisons and perceptions of my own in relation to my remembered years of teenage life.
Dylan
Dylan is a sixteen-year-old Caucasian blond-haired, blue-eyed boy, whose broad shoulders and well-defined muscularity is candid in its declaration of many hours in the gym. His favorable physical attributes are complemented by a comforting confidence not usually inherent to an adolescent who at this age should be in the deepest waters of often angst-filled identity development. Both Dylan’s physical stature and genuine personal demeanor portrayed that (at least superficially) of someone much older than his delicate age of sixteen.
Interview
What do you like about being a teenager? Dylan pondered this question momentarily before replying with a pat answer of “Carefree.” He seemed content with this curt reply; and after a brief silence, I asked him to elaborate. He then relayed that what he meant by that was he had a relatively responsible-free life. He explained that he knew he had chores to do and expectations to uphold, such as school, but that all of his needs were essentially taken care of by parents. He then added, “It takes a lot to take care of yourself.” I asked Dylan if the thought of independence scared him, and he replied, “Yea, it seems overwhelming.” He then shrugged and added to this, “It also seems exciting too.
What do you dislike (about being a teenager)? Dylan gave this question more time in meditation than the previous one before answering thoughtfully with, “Minimal responsibility.” He then quickly followed this answer with, “Minimal responsibility gives me more freedom of time but takes away from my freedom of choices.”
What is the best thing about your life right now? Dylan replied, “Everything is pretty good, but I am most excited about building a relationship with my girlfriend, and after that—wrestling. I really feel good about learning to communicate with my girlfriend and enjoy how close that brings us.” I asked what his goals for wrestling were, and he immediately replied, “Going to State this year—nothing short of that. If I don’t win State this year, I will next year.”
What is the worst thing (about your life right now)? “School, homework, and some family relationships.” When asked what he didn’t like about these things, he claimed that school wasn’t necessarily what he didn’t like but being forced to be around people (peers) he didn’t care for. When asked to explain this, he expounded by describing a frustration of dealing with drama and cliques in school. Dylan stated, ”I don’t like it when kids who are obviously not comfortable with themselves display this by trying to make everyone else miserable.” Dylan claimed he didn’t really mind homework because that’s where he learns, but it is a source of constant stress and pressure from parents. Sometimes he doesn’t have time to do what he would really like to do. Dylan’s living arrangements consist of his birth mother and a step-dad. Dylan seemed reluctant to discuss details but said that stress caused by both of these relationships were difficult at this time of his life.
What is the most important thing in your life right now? This was the quickest answer of all from Dylan. “My girlfriend,” he said with a big grin; and then he added, “The balance is the most important thing. By that I mean maintaining what my parents require, school requires, wrestling requires, other friends and family relationships require while still maintaining my relationship with my girlfriend, which is the most important.”
If you could change one thing about yourself or your life, what would it be? I found this answer interesting in its shallowness but inspiring in its naive simplicity. What Dylan relayed he would like to change most of all is the length of time he has been wrestling. “If I’d started when I was five like many of the kids I wrestle with, I would be unstoppable now.” I don’t know if this endearing response was merely a knee-jerk reaction displaying the superficiality of youth, or if this truly was his only focus of regret as I’m inclined to believe, judging from the adult-like perceptions and self-assuredness of this adolescent. What a beneficial perception of his life he must have.
How do you feel about the future? Dylan, with his characteristically terse answers replied, “Mysterious.” Again, after moments of silence, I asked for some details to this reply. He stated, “I don’t know exactly what I want to be or where I’m going, but it’s going to be good, and I know I’ll be proud of whatever I become.” This answer, I thought, was indicative of a sixteen-year-old’s self-absorbed mentality. My perception in posing the question was of a broadened view of the future, and his perception in answering was solely related to his future.
Why do you feel this way about the future? This answer I thought was the most profound of all of Dylan’s responses. He replied when asked, “I have laid the groundwork and am set on a path for success; and while the details of this success are still open, I am positive that success will be achieved all the same.”
Personal Comparisons
While trying to find relation between Dylan’s experiences at his age and mine at a similar age, I had great difficulty. My memories of this age were a complete antithesis to Dylan’s related information. I found myself not only in great admiration of this adolescent, but admittedly affected with a bit of envy. My experiences during the teenage years were not ever of being in a traditional high school with the common memories made of proms, athletic and/or scholastic achievements, and the environments usually associated with adolescent social development. While interviewing Dylan, I found myself wondering what it would have been like for me to have had these “normal” experiences, and what I would be like now if my journey had taken this path. While I struggle to identify with Dylan when I was at a similar age, I realize many of the efforts he is putting forth and the perceptions he is forming now, especially with personal relationships and dealing with others, I am only now beginning to work on because of my delayed development.
Conclusion
“You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.” This quote would seem to typify many people’s perceptions of adolescent years, including my own. However, occasionally a few souls shine a little brighter than the average light that is possible in every teenager’s life, creating an exception to this belief of teenage angst. Dylan, I believe, is one of these. His demeanor and confident responses to my questions would not seem the average for a developing sixteen-year-old, especially in relation to my own teenage years. I know many adults who could benefit from Dylan’s perceptions of life’s events. He seems to view trials and hardships, not as deterrents and obstacles bound for personal failure but as learning processes and opportunities for personal growth. Anybody that cynically views the development of the next generation needs only to spend a few minutes in the company of youth such as Dylan to have his/her faith in the future renewed.

References
Ciardi, J. (2011). Adolescent quotes. Finest Quotes. Retrieved from http://www.finestquotes.com/select_quote-category-Adolescence-page-0.htm
Von Ebner-Eschenbach, M. (2011). Marie von ebner-eschenbach quotes. Thinkexist.com. Retrieved from http://thinkexist.com/quotation/in_youth_we_learn- in_age_we_understand/10654.html