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Adoption: What a Beautiful Choice

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Adoption: A Beautiful Choice
Your baby is the most important person in your life and he or she is not even here yet. What is the most important decision for your baby? He or she cannot decide so it is up to you. You have already chosen adoption which is a beautiful choice but are you prepared for your next decision, open or closed adoption? It is important that you know the difference between open adoption and closed adoption and how your choice may affect everyone involved. We will look at everyone involved in this situation, and by the end of this reading, you will know what your decision is to be. Although it may seem that you are not important, you are extremely important. In an adoption, either open or closed, you will choose your baby’s parents. You will be given profiles of perspective parents from which to choose, and they will give you letters. They will tell you all you need to know about them, their family, and their ideas of what adoption should be. When you choose to keep your adoption closed, this is all you will know about the potential parents for your baby. When you choose closed adoption, you the birth parent are done when you sign the papers and your baby is safely in the arms of the loving couple you have selected. You will not have to share your information with the parents of your baby, and they will not share information with you. When you choose to keep your adoption open, you will get more information as time goes by. You will have a choice of how much information is shared and when it is shared. The decision is all yours. All you have to do is decide how open or closed you want your adoption to be. The next people that are involved are the adoptive parents. They are also important in this process because they are the ones that will raise your baby. If you choose to keep your adoption closed, the adoptive parents will be able to carry on and act as any other set of parents going home with a newborn baby. They will have sole say-so in how your baby will be raised. This will help to keep a stable home life for your baby. They will not need to divulge any personal identifying information since the adoption will remain closed allowing them to be the sole parents in your baby’s life. When you choose to keep your adoption open, the adoptive parents will have more information to raise your baby. They will have any personal health history from you and your family so they will be able to make good and informed decisions for your baby. The adoptive parents will also have you to lean on should a heath concern arise and they need to know more about you or your family. Adoption, whether open or closed, also affects the adoptive parents. The most important person that is not even here yet is your baby. How will adoption, open or closed, affect him or her? Whether you choose open or closed adoption, you will have time with your baby in the hospital before you sign your adoption papers. When you choose closed adoption, you are given this time in the hospital to say goodbye, and you will be able to have whomever you want there with you during this time. Choosing closed adoption does not mean they take your baby from you and you do not get to see the baby. According to Susan Struck, a social worker with Christian Family Services of the Midwest (personal communication, July 3, 2012), “The time in the hospital is a reflective time, and one where the birthparent can spend loving the baby. It is not a time to worry about signing paperwork. This is true in both open and closed adoption.” After the time in the hospital, if you choose closed adoption, you will sign papers and that will be it. You will not have to worry about your baby because he or she will be going home with the loving parents you chose. The child will have a secure relationship with his or her parents that you chose. The family will be able to operate like any other family. When you choose open adoption, you can choose to have the adoptive parents with you and with your baby in the hospital. It is up to you and how open you want your adoption to be. You will be able to discuss how open you want your adoption when you choose your baby’s parents. An open adoption may include getting pictures, videos, and letters letting you know how your child is doing, or may be so open that you have meetings with the adoptive parents and the child. In an open adoption, there are usually no questions left unanswered. Now, we will look at two individuals who were adopted. Sarah, a child who was adopted, says she would not change anything in the way her adoption went. She said her adoption was an open one and she knew her birthmother her whole life. She had no questions about her birth family and never questioned the love from them or her birthmother. And, Christine, an adult now, was involved in a closed adoption. She did not know anything about her birth family her whole life. She said she would not change a thing, either. She recently met her birth family and loves them as if they were always in her life. Therefore, it does not seem to matter whether an open adoption or closed adoption is chosen. In conclusion, the decision is yours, and you are the one to decide for your baby. It is not a decision to take lightly. In a closed adoption, your decision is final and your baby is going home with the loving couple you chose for him or her. In an open adoption, the decision is also final and you then have to decide how open you want your adoption to be. This decision on open or closed adoption is important and will affect everyone involved. Make the best decision for your baby!

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