AMERICA’S ATTITUDE TOWARD SEXUALITY

Rebecca Kelly Independent Study October 21, 2014

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct them.” -Napoleon Bonaparte “Playin' a fool's game, hopin' to win; And tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again; I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places; Lookin' for love in too many faces”. –Johnny Lee, 1980

Every night many Americans turn off their lights and lock their doors to prevent unwanted intruders from inviting themselves into their relatively peaceful homes. But what do they do next? Studies from the National Sleep Foundation suggest that 95% of families use some form of electronic media1 before getting a few hours of restless slumber. What they do not generally take into consideration, however, is that the shows and movies that are being watched are completely counter-productive to the doors that have just been locked and have consequently created a false sense of security. Certainly, one would not voluntarily invite an audacious woman who had just shown up on their doorstep into their home with barely any clothing on any more than they would a man with a ski mask and machete. Yet some people willingly subject themselves to this sort of viewing on a consistent basis. Beyond that, there are many children and adolescents left alone to their own devices with unlimited access to television and the internet. With just enough insatiable curiosity and not enough caution or wisdom young people are free to peruse around for virtually any information they desire to have knowledge of. Unfortunately, in this day and age the information has been twisted and manipulated to being something completely different from what was commonly believed to be acceptable many decades ago. The media world has become careless and reckless with its portrayal of sex and relationships and the coming generation has to pay the high price that comes with it. In his book Sex and God at Yale, Nathan Harden says, “This generation has grown up experiencing and learning about sex in a way that is profoundly

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different from what our parents experienced. Our ways of relating have been shaped, inevitably, by our immersion in a kind of sexuality that distorts gender roles and constantly confuses sexiness with sexism.”2 (pg. 115) Pornography is a great example of this. A lot of people think pornography is explicit sexual activity shown in magazines or movies but it is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as, “printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.” Many public advertisements alone could fall into this category. It is usually a woman being promoted in these types of media advertisements and in a subtle way it implies to young men that when they pursue whatever is being sold, they will have the woman that comes with it. On the flip side, it teaches young women that to get the attention and affection they want they need to offer their body and anything that comes later is worth the collateral damage. Hooking up is something that is implied as common and normal in many television shows and movies that are watched by young people. Young girls are perpetually being shown that hooking up is what is expected to be considered adequate in a social setting, lest they spend their Friday nights alone and their weekend’s outcast from the crowd of “cool kids”. The hooking up culture also perpetuates this sort of hypercompetitive nature that reinforces the idea that women are natural rivals and need to compete with other women to prove their self-worth. In the movie Grace Unplugged a young starlet has been used to gain publicity for another star and in the recovery process she is counseled (regarding men) that, “You just have to beat them at their own game. Use them more than they use you. Your body is your biggest asset. It’s your currency, and sometimes you have to spend it.”3 Whilst this is an example displayed because of a former attitude of epicaricacy by one of the characters this is the mindset that is perpetually thrust on women. They are taught that

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to get what they need or want out of someone or a situation they have to use their body or that they have to “spend their biggest asset”. How ridiculous is it that just walking into a store or down a street a woman is almost forced to be self-conscious by the unnecessary whistling and derogatory statements yet they are also encouraged to “be happy” that they are receiving deceptively positive attention. With the double standards and mixed messages being taught simultaneously is it any wonder that the younger generation suffers from perpetuity in the area of sexual morals? In Children, Adolescents, and the Media the authors say, “A by-product of this type of advertising are women are subtly taught that their main goal in life is to attract men or serve as sexual prizes. If she is successful how can she possibly say no when he wants sex?”4 (pg. 174) Women are indoctrinated from young ages to believe that the majority of their value does not lie in their intelligence or innovative ideas or their creative skills, but in their sexuality. Nicholas Sparks, a currently very popular screenwriter, novelist and producer has worked with teams to create romance movies based on his novels that resonate with many women, young and old alike. In each of his movies there is a woman who needs help and is running from a poor relationship. This woman will inevitably encounter and push away a man only to eventually fall in love with him after Hollywood’s obligatory, explicit sex scene that ultimately gives the perception of resolving any issues the character previously faced. Is it possible that this stems from the Disney movies many children and young adults are so fond of? In many of the typical Disney princess movies the princess is in some sort of distress and the prince comes along and a magical kiss makes everything better. Perhaps that is where many parents and caregivers obtained the idea that “a kiss will make it all better”. In both these examples, however, there are no negative consequences for the physical affection freely given whatsoever. Each time it represents a growing relationship, life, and healing of some sort or another. Should there be any

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surprise that young girls and women desire and crave a physical relationship, even outside of marriage, when what they are constantly absorbing is telling them that healing comes when they compromise? In an era where broken families are the norm and chaos is the rule, is it shocking that a young girl is looking for and doing anything she can to grasp some sort of stability? This perpetuates the destructive cycle of relying on another person to bring fulfillment in a way that is simply not possible and often does more damage than mending.

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1

"Annual Sleep in America Poll Exploring Connections with Communications Technology Use and Sleep." 2011 Sleep in America Poll: Results. Accessed October 20, 2014.
2

Harden, Nathan. Sex and God at Yale: Porn, Political Correctness, and a Good Education Gone Bad. New York: Thomas Dunne Books/St Martin's Press, 2012.
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Grace Unplugged directed by Brad J. Silverman

Strasburger, Victor C., and Barbara J. Wilson. Children, Adolescents, and the Media. Thousand Oaks Calif.: Sage Publications, 2002. 174.

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