AN INCESSANT FAILURES
COPYRIGHT 2012
WHERE IS THE REAL AUDREY?
Neill Carlton has spent his life in the perpetual idea of getting dumped. But because of his one childish act, he was sent in a military school by his father and met enigmatic Audrey Griffith who stole his not-so-experienced heart and become a mystery. And after eight years of looking for her, Neill met the lovely Aimee Griffith who has the exact replica of Audrey and sure an enigma too. Urged down by their similar appearances, Neill was bound to discover the truth behind their mysteries… Introduction: Well, first of all, it's hard to narrate a story especially when a tragic music is stuck in your ears and the song tells about a girl wanting her guy back in her nonsense life when in fact I've never experienced having a girl, down-to-her-feet, longing for me to come back in her ingenious life. And then the next song saying that a guy asking for a lad's name and him confessing how the girl's beauty affected his innermost and now he's asking for a date and me not even a single thing experienced one of these and it’s kind of a routine.

Anyway, this may sounds a little bit a bookworm of me but the truth is, I have read a hundred and twenty three books on how to win a girl's heart and with those incessant thoughts and words I have come to meet, none of it actually work. I don't know if I read the book cover quickly or didn't understand the selection really or getting dumped is just really in our blood. But as far as I can see, all of uncles, cousins and even my father has become the Hercules of every lady's heart and the way i figured it, I can never follow their footsteps.

But everything changed when I met the acquaintance of Audrey Griffith, a classmate of mine in a military school, mystery, yes it is, that of all the high schools, I got involve with those gun type guys, but of all the mistakes I have made, I could never stop thinking one failure resulting my enigmatic Audrey in becoming a mystery...

COPYRIGHT 2012
Part one: The Childhood Chaos
ONE.
The thing about getting dumped by a thousands of girls is it becomes a routine. At first, yes it hurts, but after suffering from the abundance of rejection, you'll get use to the pain, although sometimes I'm really not that affected. And when we talked about dumping, I remember this one girl I invited in a so called Junior-Senior Prom, which I admit that I really don't like to attend, but because of the incessant angry voice of my best friend, Cam Taylor, that I should come, I was urged. So the girl's name is Jelou Teng. Funny how her name sounds, but she's a Chinese, so it's not a big deal. I remembered asking her infront of her locker after our English Literature class and she doesn't really like asking why.

Me: HI, you're Jelou Teng, right?

Jelou: Yeah, why?

Me: Uhm.. Can I ask you to escort me this upcoming Prom?

Jelou: Why?

Me: Because there's no one I can ask to and you're the only one I think that is not being asked.

Jelou: I barely even know you.

Me: Yeah me too.

Jelou: So why me?

And that shut me up. And also because she said that she won't be attending the Prom all because of their Chinese New Year celebration which was on the tenth of February but as far as I can remember, the Prom is on twelfth of February, so I guess their advanced.

I attended the Prom anyway with no one to escort me and i just sit there and stare at the students who were dancing happily and I can even see my best friend with his girlfriend, they were both dancing too and I think I'm the only one who's alone. See, this is what I'm talking about; I always end up in the abundance of my sweet failure. You'll ask for a girl on a date or even just ask her to help you on your studies, but their always reasons were that they need to study too, that they will hang out with her friends, or there's a family reunion and etc. And the reason why my family thinks that I’m a homosexual person and the reason why they think I don't have and never had a girl in his life is because I like Cam. Well, it's a hard part, really, especially when you have a father whose part of those gun type guys and born in the inevitable fact of bravery. he's a soldier actually, and I think it won't be long enough when soon he'll become a general. Great right, but it doesn't affect me. Anyway, my mom's an owner of the five famous five star hotel here in America and also owned, i think twenty- one hotels in other continents, its a family business actually, mom came from a wealthy and popular family, the Salvatores, and I kinda like the sound of my name when Salvatore is on the last, Neill Salvatore, yeah cool, but I'm Neill Carlton, cause my mom married my father. Now see, this is what I'm talking about, its always an enigma why the hell I'm not a heartthrob of the school, well it’s a complex thing actually when you're studying in an international school and the competition is really hard, but I never joined them, for I know I always lose.

Anyway, I actually saw Jelou Teng here and she's dancing with this guy named Carl Tristan, I think. = = = = = = = = = = =

‘’YOUR PANTS IS ON FIRE, NEILL!’’ I heard the panicking voice of Cam and the cold feeling of water in my body. I was wet, like, I’ve taken a bath, with my uniform, all because of the basin of water Cam showered me. And I hate it!
‘’CHRISTIAN TAYLOR, I’M GONNA KILL YOU!’’ I told him, when I got up. I was having an aqueous slumber here in the garden of our school, to be exact, at the green fields, when this devil disturbed me. Three weeks after the miserable Prom. Then I heard the incessant laughs of other guys in the field, so he was not alone, great!. I really hate being embarrassed in front of many people. But then I realize it was just my other friends, Alan and Simon. They too were not good vibes.
‘’ Where’s Kevin?’’ I ask, our other friend, who’s not in sight.
‘’Maybe he’s flinging with his girl or a cigarette between his teeth. I don’t know. That guy is reclusive!’’ Simon answered as he sat down and then they all sit in the field except me. I don’t want to sit with wet clothes actually.
‘’Have you ever heard what Lollipop said?’’ Cam asked, referring to our adviser and our English teacher. We codename him Lollipop because he has a big head, well, not actually that big, its not just proportional in his body. We hate him, I mean just them, because I’m the teacher’s pet.
‘’Hmm, what did that moron tell?’’ Alan murmured while looking at the grass fields and I think his counting them.
‘’That in order for us to passed his subject, we should write a five-pages essay and it should be back to back about Shakespeare’s freaking novel about that guy who had his heads off!.’’ Cam continued.
Okay, to be clear enough, Alan, Simon, Kevin and Cam, they all hate Mr. Rothschild (lollipop) and he hates them too. So my friends always do something that made Mr. Rothschild grew his head bigger and they always end up in the detention room.
‘’ Macbeth.’’ I said.
‘’ Yeah! That Macbeth guy!’’ Cam answered.
‘’What the heck! Lollipop is really insane!’’ Alan tossed angrily.
‘’You should tell Lollipop that he should screw this off! That is not a good joke!’’ Simon said angrily while pointing a finger at me. I don’t know if he’s mad at me or to Mr. Rothschild.
And then I looked at the three of them and pretend like I’m thinking of the words I should say to Lollipop. And then it occurred to me that our minds never ceased to work. We’re just tired of thinking the incessant thoughts that our minds can think and thought that we can think no more.
‘’Alright, I try my best.’’ I tell them. And then they all yelled because of their happiness.
‘’But right now, I need some freaking clothes.’’ I continued. And then we all leave the field.

I had lunch after my French class which I admitted that of all my friends, I’m the only one who took this subject and they all have Spanish, but to be honest, I actually think that French and Spanish were nothing to differ with. I went to my locker to return and get some books for the next subject before my feet brought me in our canteen. And so I went there already. We had this huge, almost like a restaurant-my-mom-used-to-own cafeteria and we also have a rooftop food place. See, that's the thing about studying in a wealthy school, you always get to choose what you wanted, but not in terms of academics. For this school never allowed money to pay their teachings. That's why my friends can't just pay Mr. Rothschild some five hundred bucks for them to passed on his subject. I went to the rooftop when I noticed that there are a lot of girls downstairs. It's not that I'm afraid of them, but I just can't handle the eyes of their boyfriends staring at me. To be honest, there are only a few students here in Meridian International, because yeah, this is one goddamned expensive school and only REALLY rich people can afford here. But because we have two eyes, now it makes many. Like there are only twenty-four people here downstairs and then the math kicks in, and then you'll times the number of twenty four to two, because we have two eyes and then you'll get fourty eight which makes the conclusion that there are forty eight eyes, right now staring at me. As I went upstairs, I notice that are REALLY only few people here when you are in school. As far as I can see, ther are only, I think five or six apparitions like me who doesn't want to be disturbed by the incessant noise of cool kids downstairs. And this place is appropriate for a lonely stranger like me. People who like to indulge the simple pleasure of the cold wind, the lovely nature, the rhythm of the birds, nails that leave a scratch on every page of a book. To be exact, a place where geeks spend their free time. You might be wondering why the heck I'm not with my friends and the hell why their not taking their lunch. Well, to be honest with you they were already somewhere taking their lunch in a place where no one can see them, cause maybe right now, they were indulging the accent of a cigarette in their lips and the bittertaste of an alcohol in their tongues. Well, don't even bother asking me how the hell the teachers won't notice.

I sat down and read the poem we were task to read while eating the delicious sandwich our maid made me. All my days of studying here, I've never had and will never have a taste of their food here and don't even ask why. I was busy flipping some through pages of the book because I got tired or reading when a young lady sat in front of me. Well the truth, I was kinda flabbergasted when she sat at my table because all my life, never a girl have done that to me.

'' Uhm. What are you doing here?'' I ask her.

She lift up her face and looked at me.''As you can see, I'm reading and actually doing some of my homeworks.'' she told me. She was beautiful, I tell you but only her pageboy haircut made her look unpleasant.

''I'm not asking what are you doing. I'm asking you why are your soul sitting in front of me?'' I say.

''Don't be so ridiculous. You don't own this table. And maybe I have a permission to sit here anyway!'' she told me, like in a harangue tone.

''Alright. But why here?'' I ask.

'' Why? Are you gonna eat me? If I want to sit here, I can sit here! Are you afraid of me?'' She tossed in an angry way. And then turned to what she was doing.

'' Well, not really. It's just that--'' she cut me off.

'' Oh just forget it, mister! I hate it when someone's staring at me while I'm doing something! I'll just sit in other's chair because you don't always get to choose what you wanted!'' irritated, she said and then left.

The truth is, I never really got a chance of asking what her name was but she caught my attention anyway. And I could never stop thinking that this simple soul changed everything the way my life has been.
COPYRIGHT 2012.
TWO.
The thing about time is it always tricks us. You always thought the next thing would soon be like this or any other but the problem is, you’ll never know what happens next in your life to each second that passed. But what can we do about it, the future is unpredictable, yet people waste their life for the future. If someone should ask you why the heck are you studying, you’ll answer that its because for your FUTURE great job and for the your FUTURE children to have its good life, home, etc. and then them studying too for the perpetual idea of the future. It just never stops! See? But the truth is, imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia, an author I used to like once taught me. Whenever we think of the future, there’s always the sentimental longing for the past and then we all realize that its all just a déjà vu. But we always gain a lesson in every experience we encounter. And then we’ll try to realize that we should never do this mistake again in the FUTURE. And when we talk about the FUTURE, I never thought my life would end up in a jail like this. A cage where every soul is always near to each of their demise. All people talk in a harangue tone, like they always had a mad feeling to everyone which they kept inside, and always called the ‘’Brave Men of the Country’’.
And now I know what it felt like to be in heaven, it’s having her by your side.

‘’You will experienced the sweat of the brave men if you haven’t presented me a single feminine apparition before the age of your eighteen comes!’’ Those words actually belong to my father. He’s mad actually, and he talked that way. He always talked like that. His like a man living in the dusted years of the past and never had a chance to move on. And I don’t know what you will feel if your father forces you to have a girlfriend and present it to him before eighteen. I mean, what’s with the rush anyway? I could get married at the age of fifty three or sixty and there start my life (and just to avoid the dumping thing). But I never complain. I never had a chance to complain. And that’s the thing about being a teenager, no one actually listen to your thoughts, to what you feel. It’s like your prohibited to the idea of the freedom in speech. And so I tell my seventeen-year-old problem to my friends.

‘’ I bet your father’s right.’’ Kevin said after relaxing his body on a couch. We were in Cam’s house, at their media room, to be exact. Cam and Alan were playing a video game I have come to loathe, I mean playing, not the game cause I prefer reading. Simon’s not around that afternoon, day after my father pronounced my curse. Kevin was doing nothing. He loves to do nothing, he’s lazy. ‘’