I can understand the anchor’s perplexity over why it does not make sense to stay in an abusive relationship. I used to not understand it myself. I always believed that if it happened just one time, it would not happen a second time. However, it is not as simple as one would think. If you think about it, that is a normal reaction to a situation where there is no emotional investment in the relationship. When someone begins a relationship, both parties typically show the best sides of themselves. Think about it for a moment. Who begins a relationship by saying to the other person that if you fall in love with them they will eventually berate, beat, rape, and instill fear in you where you will eventually doubt every thought and decision …show more content…
Oh yeah, say good-bye to your family and close friends because you will not be allowed to interact with anyone else again because as your abuser I will not let anyone be there to support you after I hurt you. Who in their right mind would do that? The potential abuser must win you over during the courtship phase. Somehow, they gain your trust and adoration and even sympathy where loyalty to only them is their only salvation because they have been hurt so badly in the past by everyone that has mattered to them. Regardless of how the abuser plays their mind games, an otherwise strong and independent woman can be dwindled into nothing. At least that is what she believes and feels while in a relationship with their abuser. Statistically, 38 to 83 % of abused women have depression and are at five times higher in suicide rates (Huss, 2013). You have that coupled with alcohol and drug abuse and few people have the ability to effectively problem solve their dismal situation. Let us not forget that the perpetually abused victim has lost any support system outside …show more content…
Also, I am a domestic violence survivor, as well. What people that have never been in an abusive relationship do not realize is that it is not only a physical battle, but it is also a psychological warfare. Physical abuse is closely associated with psychological abuse when domestic violence occurs (Street & Arias, 2001). You somehow lose yourself and it can be difficult to find your way back especially after you have been held financially hostage by your abuser. So, no, it is not just a simple answer of just leaving. As an example, I had a job that I loved working at Virginia Tech, was raising my children alone, they were thriving and very socially active and did well in school, and I was financially independent. My mother had come to live with me because she had frontotemporal lobe dementia which was advancing rapidly by that point and I had become her caregiver. There was stress, but I was managing it fairly well with all things considered. I had a great support system helping me through. Before I went to work, I took my kids to school and my mom to adult day care. After work, I would do everything that was expected and needed to keep the family going. It was a full life. Through a series of events, I unexpectedly met, by all outward appearances, are really great guy. He was educated, he had a degree in psychology, he was a Methodist minister, he had a history of helping the homeless, he appeared to be such a