Reflective Paper
When Mam Afshan Hanif my Business Communication teacher first revealed this assignment of interviewing a person who has experienced and witnessed a foreign culture to get to know about its non-verbal communication, I remember exactly how worried I felt. I remember being worried about as to where am I going to find a person like that and interview them. But there was some kind of anxiousness and excitement associated to it too.
Luckily for me the cousin of mine who is a doctor and has been working in Brunei for the past three years called me on Saturday and told me that he had just arrived in Islamabad for a conference and was going to stay at Serena Hotel Islamabad. I instantly told him that I had to interview him for the assignment.
After the interview ended I could tell how much I had learned about Brunei. People of Brunei are very soft spoken, humble and peace loving people. They do not like to indulge into emotions of anger and irritation and to avoid that they have developed an informal way of communication. They are very calm in nature and always maintain a face so that they do not express any kind of irritation towards the person they are talking to.
As the religion of Brunei is Islam they have adapted a lot of things and etiquettes that the Holy Prophet (PBUH) had taught. They shake hands with both the hands and then put their right hand on their chests, and opposite genders do not shake hands. I further learned that they are very particular about giving respect to their elders as elders are the ones who are greeted first and served food first.
There were also some strange things that Mr. Sheheryar mentioned and also showed me physically as to how they consider pointing with the index finger very rude. He could tell how confused I got when he told me that and had a small laugh and told me that exactly his reaction was when he first was warned about this on his first day at work. He further showed me they use the thumb to point. And was smiling throughout by looking at my puzzled face.
Unlike many cultures Brunei does not believe in direct and formal way of communication that is the reason they think it is offensive to maintain direct eye contact when greeting someone, they take that as an intrusion of their space.
They are very well mannered people collectively, always showing respect towards people. Another thing they are strict about is using of the left hand when passing food as they think of the left hand being impure, and even hold a heavy dish with only the right hand and the left hand supporting the wrist of the right hand. It is strange to hear about it but when Mr. Sheheryar practically maneuvered it in front of me during the interview it was a very witty and funny moment. I could see how he had got used to it and was in no unease. What then surprised me was when he revealed that even a business card is exchanged in that way, and they are very particular about it because the way the business card is accepted is considered to be the reflection how much the other person is respectful of you, unlike our country where it is not a big deal for us.
Another interesting this was how they find a stuffed toy dog to be an inappropriate gift, and white wrapping paper is not be used as the colour white is associated with mourning and sadness.
A shock to me came when Mr. Sheheryar explained how the Bruneians don’t like to express sadness and that he had hardly in the last three years seen only two to three people cry in a place like hospital where people die almost every day. The people in Brunei from what I have learned are very jolly and encourage happiness, and do not like to show and spread sadness, and are very strict about their etiquettes.
It was a fun experience and was a highly educating experience, and the best part was the pictures that he showed me in the end, which really made me want to visit Brunei.