An evocative personal accomplishment was the way in which I dealt with profound disappointment. My first full-time job was an unsympathetic wakeup call. I had just graduated with a degree from one of the top engineering schools in the country, and possessed a naïve assurance in my abilities. I expected to succeed easily at work, after having made it through such a tough curriculum. Two weeks after I graduated, I started my job as engineering technician at BASF and suddenly found myself in a drastically different environment.
It was difficult to adjust from the bliss of college days to the new grim reality I found myself in. The long commute, loneliness, and humorless atmosphere at BASF were some of the main elements I disliked about my new life. I worked hard at my job, cranking out test results and reports at a competitive rate. However, the position involved performing a lot of tedious lab testing and soon I stopped finding challenge in it. I did the work assigned to me in an organized and timely manner, but little more than that.
At my 6-month review, I was triggered to change my way of working. My supervisor rated me fairly well on my productivity but noted that my job knowledge was lacking. She wrote that I showed glimmers of “getting it,” but that I did not have a full understanding of the product or process. She also mentioned that though I produced work fast, I did not extensively consider why I was doing it, how it relates to the overall business, or how the person receiving it would want it presented. That day, I learned a simple and very important lesson -- working hard is not enough to succeed.
I went home, relaxed for the next week during our winter shutdown, and resolved that when I went back to work, I would approach it differently. I would not just work hard, but also work smart. In the new year, I approached work with zeal, aggressively pursuing the best projects, spending time on the manufacturing floor observing and examining, asking questions often, and consistently working hard. As a result, I was a key contributor to several high priority projects and saw them through a rewarding launch.
At my 12-month review, my supervisor acknowledged the difference in my work. However due to the bell curve nature of BASF’s merit rating system and the caps placed on raises, I received a paltry increase. Considering how much effort I was applying, I was disappointed in the outcome of the review. I was also embarrassed to be paid so much less than the norm for a chemical engineer. When a position opened up for a research & development engineer, I eagerly applied. A fellow co-worker submitted her name as well. I considered her very intelligent, but she did not work as hard or fast as I did, which was evidenced by the number of projects we managed. We went through our interviews, and I believed I had the better chance at the promotion.
A few days following, the technical director informed me that they would not be offering the position to me. As I did my best to suppress my inner turmoil, I extracted from him the reasons why: less maturity in comparison, development needed in my communication skills, and lack of fit for R&D (he believed process engineering was a better fit). Never had I felt such a crushing disappointment and blow to my self-worth. I wondered to myself why I could not do better and at the same time I was angry for not being recognized for the effort I had put in at this company. I went home but did not want to face my parents; I did not want to see their pity. Instead, I walked around the neighborhood and much later, went to bed, in complete despair the entire time.
Yet when I woke up the next morning, I felt a quiet buoyancy as well as an inner resolve to change this situation. Immediately, I commenced the search for a new job. Neither my position nor the company was the right fit for me. Simultaneously, I continued to effectively execute my projects at work. I wanted to be able to see them through. To improve my communication skills, I followed a co-worker’s suggestion and joined a Toastmasters group. Though I had mostly overcome my shyness from childhood, I was still very nervous presenting in front of a group, especially giving impromptu speeches they preferred. I researched effective communication and made a conscious effort to practice it at every opportunity with the engineers, operators, and suppliers I was working with. Gradually, I became better at speaking more clearly, thinking off the top of my head, and communicating about technical matters.
Though I would have moved anywhere for the right job, my dream was to live in California. During my interview for a quality engineer position at Chlorox, I instinctively felt a familial warmth from the people I met. The job was focused on process improvement projects, which would leverage my Six Sigma experience and also enable me to spend more time on the manufacturing floor. I had found a combination of a great job and desired locale and so I accepted the job with Chlorox and moved across the country by myself a month later.
Starting over and moving to a new place knowing nobody is not an easy feat, yet the excitement and novelty of the experience overcame any trepidation. The experience was good for me, especially considering my sheltered upbringing. I had to become more independent than ever before and actively seek out friends without any sort of base. At work, I was careful to utilize the lessons I learned at BASF. I thoughtfully planned and executed my daily responsibilities and projects, which flourished as a result. Further, my new boss rated my communication skills as one of my main strengths at my review
This experience is meaningful to me because it exemplifies some of the main characteristics that I try to embody: inner strength, drive, and courage to pursue my passion.